Harry Potter Influenza by SailorSakura9
HA! I've been planning this for a while and now I'm FINALLY going to do this! Yeah I know I have other incomplete stories. . .but oh well. . .this is just a fun spoof for the sake of writing fun spoofs. :p
I got the original lyrics from http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=627562 (Even Stevens: Influenza Lyrics) and I just changed some stuff around to make it fit my story ^_^
Ok, this story er. . .musical just takes place at any random ol' time during the Harry Potter series :p
Just bear with me. . . -_-;;
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Hermione Granger stepped between Platforms 9 and 10 and watched as Platform 9 ¾ appeared magically in front of her. Hermione sighed. It was great to be back in the Wizarding world again. Crookshanks hissed in his cage.
As she stepped into one of the train's compartments, she felt herself slipping. Her right foot lost her balance, and she tried to regain her balance by putting her left foot forward. By doing that, she hit the little ramp that separated the compartment from the hallway and nearly threw Crookshanks against the window.
Hermione caught on the sides of the doorway, sighing with relief. She let go of the side and walked towards the window. Just then the train lurched sideways. Hermione pitched forward and felt her head slam against the window pane. The next thing she remembered was an abysmal darkness.
*~*~*~*~*
"Uh. . .Hermione? You ok?" a voice broke through.
'Who was that?' thought Hermione, 'Sounds like. . .'
"It's me, Harry," said the voice, "Hello? Hello? Can you get up? How many fingers am I holding up?"
Hermione felt two fingers push her forehead back down.
"Oops, sorry. That was too close," apologized Harry.
Hermione slowly regained consciousness. She saw Harry, Ron, and Ginny fade into view.
"Hey, are you ok?" asked Ron. Hermione sat up. She had been moved to one of the seats.
"Um. . .yeah. . . I'm fine, just a little shaken," croaked Hermione, "I've got a throbbing headache, do any of you guys have any aspirin?"
"Erm. . .I got chocolate. Does that count?" replied Ginny. Hermione smiled, "That's good enough for me."
Ginny took out a giant slab of chocolate from her bag and broke off a piece for Hermione.
"HEY! How come you never told me you had chocolate in there?" yelled Ron.
"Because you're my brother," replied Ginny as if it were the most obvious.
"And because I'm a blood relative you're supposed to share with ME!"
"But you're my BROTHER, so that means I'm supposed to be selfish and keep things to myself!"
"That's twisted logic!"
"No. That's sibling logic."
"Can I have some chocolate then?"
"No. You don't share with me so I don't see why I have to share with you."
"Because I'm your BROTHER!"
"We've already gone through this. . ."
"Ok, in that case, I'm your OLDER brother!"
"AND THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE?"
"Yes."
"I'M THE YOUNGEST CHILD IN THE FAMILY!"
"So?"
". . .and you said I HAVE twisted logic?"
"You DO!"
"It must be hereditary then," mumbled Harry, although not too softly. Ron and Ginny began to turn red in the ears.
Hermione stifled a laugh and nearly choked on her chocolate. She just remembered about Crookshanks and freed him from his cage. Crookshanks leapt in her lap and purred.
"I think you should put him back," said Harry.
"Why?" asked Hermione as she scratched Crookshanks behind the ears.
"We're basically right next to Hogwarts at the moment," replied Harry.
"WHAT?" screamed Hermione, standing up abruptly. Crookshanks fell to the floor and meowed/hissed in surprise. Just then the train lurched to a stop, and Hermione nearly fell over again. Harry grabbed the back of Hermione's robe, causing Hermione to take a step back and accidentally step on Crookshanks tail.
Crookshanks hissed in pain and began scratching anything that came into his path. Enduring many scratches and cuts, Hermione was able to successfully get Crookshanks back into his cage.
"I can't believe that I was out for so long!" moaned Hermione, "I should have been studying for the term, but because I fell I missed my chance!"
"The term hasn't even started yet. I don't see why you're worrying about it now," said Harry.
"That's Hermione for you. Her life is study, study, study, read, study, study, eat, sleep, study, study, oh yeah, did I mention study?" said Ron jokingly.
"Ha, ha. Very funny," spat Hermione, "Come on, let's hurry up and get into the Great Hall. I'm starving."
*~*~*~*~*
"Welcome to another year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," greeted Professor Dumbledore, "Now I have some words to say before we begin the feast."
Dumbledore cleared his throat, took a deep breath, then began:
"Hogwarts School Students, won't you lend me an ear?
I hope that my voice is loud and clear!
Now listen up people, I got somethin' to say:
These are the school's announcements for the day!
Be sure to check the Filch's office between classes, there's a wand in there; and two decks of exploding snap!
Looks like somebody lost their pants
There's an old salami sandwich and some complimentary ants!
I hope you 5th years got a lot of rest
'Cause you begin your O.W.L test.
Professor Snape's wearing a crazy grin!
6th period, in Potions, let the pain begin!
That's all for this moment - Oh, did I mention?
There're two names on the list for detention.
They've never been accused of over-achieving.
They're our goofy little trouble-makers - Fred n' George!
(All except for Dumbledore) Who?
Fred n' George!
(All except Dumbledore) Oh.
Now I'm leaving. . .out."
Dumbledore sat down quietly. There was silence in the room. Dumbledore stood up again and cleared his voice, "Oh yes, and one more note. Let the feast. . .begin."
And that's all for now! Stay tuned next time for another exciting chapter of the Even Stevens. . . I mean Harry Potter Influenza!
Don't for get to review! ^_^
HA! I've been planning this for a while and now I'm FINALLY going to do this! Yeah I know I have other incomplete stories. . .but oh well. . .this is just a fun spoof for the sake of writing fun spoofs. :p
I got the original lyrics from http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=627562 (Even Stevens: Influenza Lyrics) and I just changed some stuff around to make it fit my story ^_^
Ok, this story er. . .musical just takes place at any random ol' time during the Harry Potter series :p
Just bear with me. . . -_-;;
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Hermione Granger stepped between Platforms 9 and 10 and watched as Platform 9 ¾ appeared magically in front of her. Hermione sighed. It was great to be back in the Wizarding world again. Crookshanks hissed in his cage.
As she stepped into one of the train's compartments, she felt herself slipping. Her right foot lost her balance, and she tried to regain her balance by putting her left foot forward. By doing that, she hit the little ramp that separated the compartment from the hallway and nearly threw Crookshanks against the window.
Hermione caught on the sides of the doorway, sighing with relief. She let go of the side and walked towards the window. Just then the train lurched sideways. Hermione pitched forward and felt her head slam against the window pane. The next thing she remembered was an abysmal darkness.
*~*~*~*~*
"Uh. . .Hermione? You ok?" a voice broke through.
'Who was that?' thought Hermione, 'Sounds like. . .'
"It's me, Harry," said the voice, "Hello? Hello? Can you get up? How many fingers am I holding up?"
Hermione felt two fingers push her forehead back down.
"Oops, sorry. That was too close," apologized Harry.
Hermione slowly regained consciousness. She saw Harry, Ron, and Ginny fade into view.
"Hey, are you ok?" asked Ron. Hermione sat up. She had been moved to one of the seats.
"Um. . .yeah. . . I'm fine, just a little shaken," croaked Hermione, "I've got a throbbing headache, do any of you guys have any aspirin?"
"Erm. . .I got chocolate. Does that count?" replied Ginny. Hermione smiled, "That's good enough for me."
Ginny took out a giant slab of chocolate from her bag and broke off a piece for Hermione.
"HEY! How come you never told me you had chocolate in there?" yelled Ron.
"Because you're my brother," replied Ginny as if it were the most obvious.
"And because I'm a blood relative you're supposed to share with ME!"
"But you're my BROTHER, so that means I'm supposed to be selfish and keep things to myself!"
"That's twisted logic!"
"No. That's sibling logic."
"Can I have some chocolate then?"
"No. You don't share with me so I don't see why I have to share with you."
"Because I'm your BROTHER!"
"We've already gone through this. . ."
"Ok, in that case, I'm your OLDER brother!"
"AND THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE?"
"Yes."
"I'M THE YOUNGEST CHILD IN THE FAMILY!"
"So?"
". . .and you said I HAVE twisted logic?"
"You DO!"
"It must be hereditary then," mumbled Harry, although not too softly. Ron and Ginny began to turn red in the ears.
Hermione stifled a laugh and nearly choked on her chocolate. She just remembered about Crookshanks and freed him from his cage. Crookshanks leapt in her lap and purred.
"I think you should put him back," said Harry.
"Why?" asked Hermione as she scratched Crookshanks behind the ears.
"We're basically right next to Hogwarts at the moment," replied Harry.
"WHAT?" screamed Hermione, standing up abruptly. Crookshanks fell to the floor and meowed/hissed in surprise. Just then the train lurched to a stop, and Hermione nearly fell over again. Harry grabbed the back of Hermione's robe, causing Hermione to take a step back and accidentally step on Crookshanks tail.
Crookshanks hissed in pain and began scratching anything that came into his path. Enduring many scratches and cuts, Hermione was able to successfully get Crookshanks back into his cage.
"I can't believe that I was out for so long!" moaned Hermione, "I should have been studying for the term, but because I fell I missed my chance!"
"The term hasn't even started yet. I don't see why you're worrying about it now," said Harry.
"That's Hermione for you. Her life is study, study, study, read, study, study, eat, sleep, study, study, oh yeah, did I mention study?" said Ron jokingly.
"Ha, ha. Very funny," spat Hermione, "Come on, let's hurry up and get into the Great Hall. I'm starving."
*~*~*~*~*
"Welcome to another year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," greeted Professor Dumbledore, "Now I have some words to say before we begin the feast."
Dumbledore cleared his throat, took a deep breath, then began:
"Hogwarts School Students, won't you lend me an ear?
I hope that my voice is loud and clear!
Now listen up people, I got somethin' to say:
These are the school's announcements for the day!
Be sure to check the Filch's office between classes, there's a wand in there; and two decks of exploding snap!
Looks like somebody lost their pants
There's an old salami sandwich and some complimentary ants!
I hope you 5th years got a lot of rest
'Cause you begin your O.W.L test.
Professor Snape's wearing a crazy grin!
6th period, in Potions, let the pain begin!
That's all for this moment - Oh, did I mention?
There're two names on the list for detention.
They've never been accused of over-achieving.
They're our goofy little trouble-makers - Fred n' George!
(All except for Dumbledore) Who?
Fred n' George!
(All except Dumbledore) Oh.
Now I'm leaving. . .out."
Dumbledore sat down quietly. There was silence in the room. Dumbledore stood up again and cleared his voice, "Oh yes, and one more note. Let the feast. . .begin."
And that's all for now! Stay tuned next time for another exciting chapter of the Even Stevens. . . I mean Harry Potter Influenza!
Don't for get to review! ^_^