Authors Note: I do not own Jennifer's Body. I just think it's a good horror movie. This story is rated T due to sexual situations, violence and language. Please do not read if these things offend you, or if you want to remain pure from my horrible mind. To the rest of you sickos, thanks for reading! :-P

Lavender's Kiss

By Sebastian Sebastian

Prologue

Personal Jesus

They were moaning inside the bouncing van, gargling on each other's saliva, flicking at each other's tongues, acting as if that would be their last chance to be joined in sinful teenaged union; like it would be their last chance to have such a carefree and casual romp on that quiet afternoon in the church's parking lot.

In the heat of the moment, he had ripped off the silver crucifix that adorned her neck. It fell to the ground making a soft clink, but neither of them seemed to notice.

She thought, when he kissed her, she'd hear music and her foot would pop up into a backwards kick like a scene from a 1940s romance movie. She thought his kiss would lead to the discovery of new worlds and colors, and of cures for the incurable. She thought she might melt into a bubbling human puddle when his lips finally sent the electric pulse through her awakening body, revealing everything beautiful and wonderful about herself and the Earth…

…And then they stopped kissing.

She looked down to find that her foot had remained stationary and there was no great movement of electricity. Everything had stayed the same. She cursed herself and looked away from his wondering and hungry eyes, growing more and more disappointed with her delicate limbs that they would betray her in such a disillusioning fashion.

When she caught him offering flirtatious glances at her she blushed. When he had given her his secret sign language from across the silent church, she glanced at Jesus on his crucifix and his unapproving scowl and shrugged.

She knew what her gentleman caller was doing- he was summoning her to leave the pews with him, no, for him. She may have slightly cared about the biblical lessons being taught, but she really wanted to see him again. She wanted to be near him again—to feel his rough mouth against her soft pouty lips.

When they met outside, he gushed about how much he wanted to be with her and how she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She looked at him and thought she might die from lustful heat-stroke. Sure, she felt a little uneasy in the back of that filthy blue van afterwards- as he rushed to unclasp her bra, tasting the salt on her skin and smelling the artificial lilac of her perfume like he were some kind of weird vegetarian zombie—but she thought she might love him. Maybe he was the one. Maybe he should be her small-town-first…

Even if the van they were tossing around in reeked of chlorine, sweat, cigarettes and just a hint of beer.

Doug Bone had been gifted with the aqua colored "molestor" van shortly after earning his license. That was his eighteen-year-old accomplishment- who cared if it was his father's company clunker and had "Bone Pools: We'll make sure your pool isn't Bone-dry!" painted across it. This moment was romantic, in its own way.

Doug had always been so nice to her and she thought maybe it wasn't just because she was "pretty." He told her how he felt about her, and she could tell by the way he smiled, how his pupils were dilated while he was on top of her, how his hands were so gentle on her small body—he meant every word.

Besides, this whirlwind romance could be the one. This could be the relationship that lasted beyond summer's end and long after he was hulled off to college on his football scholarship. Maybe as an old couple they could tell their eager grandchildren the story of how they were high school sweethearts.

...if she'd let him have what he wanted today. He might stay then, right?

He, on the other hand, knew he'd only get one shot at this- deflowering the preacher's niece while the "holy man," himself, stood inside the church at the podium damning everyone to hell.

Seal the deal, Dougie boy. He thought.

His church-going football buddies said that he'd never be able to do it. He wouldn't have a chance in hell at snatching up a goodie-two-shoe like new girl, Elle Lavender. But he knew if he played his cards right, she'd be putty in his moderately soft-but-jockish hands. Also, when you're a girl's first, they can't laugh at how small you are. He thought.

He almost felt bad at how easy it was. He flashed his baby blues at her and she was ready to do anything he wanted to keep him happy. Of course she'd be easy. He thought. She was damaged goods. His mother had read him the newspaper clipping from the day Elle had arrived into town:

MAN CRASHES CAR INTO LOCAL HOME KILLING SELF AND HOUSE GUEST

50-year-old Dustin Burk killed himself and bystander yesterday afternoon, after crashing his vehicle into a Cloverport home.

43-year-old town Reverend's wife, Martha Bagley along with her sister Karen Lavender, 40, were enjoying a quiet evening at the Bagley's residence when Burk ran into the home, killing himself and Lavender instantly, and injuring Bagley.

"When we found him, his pants were barely on and it looked as if he had emitted fluids; it seems the man was pleasuring himself and wasn't watching the road," says officer on duty, Gordon Hart.

Reverend Bagley was preparing Sunday's sermon at the church when he heard the news. "This news is very devastating," he says. "We need God more than ever right now, and I reach out to anyone who wants to join me in prayer this Sunday at the church."

Lavender was a recently divorced, single mother with a 16-year-old daughter. The Bagley family will take custody of the teen. Reverend Bagley still plans to give Sunday's sermon.

In the few weeks that Doug had talked to Elle, she had proven herself a cheap date, still refusing to really eat anything in front of him—he supposed it was some kind of eating disorder. She looked particularly bony and pale today, too, but he didn't mind the not eating thing—he wanted a girl that was as thin as the models in the magazines.

"This is wrong," she panted, having second thoughts and stopping him. She grunted when a rusty pool skimmer poked her in the back. No, this won't do.

"Come on," Doug was lust-drunk.

"But my uncle," she moaned. "He's giving the sermon."

"No one's going to find out, baby," he put a finger over her lips, pretending not to notice the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was partially covered in tin foil next to her. How old is that dang thing?

"But we're right outside of church," she said, hearing his belt buckle clink together as he pulled down his pants.

"Elle, they're much too busy sweating about hell in there to notice us," he snapped.

She finally pushed him away. "I can't do this."

"What do you mean you can't?" Doug didn't want to stop, and pulled Elle closer for one more kiss. Come on, Elle, get with the program.

"Doug," She pushed him away again. "I said no."

"Are you kidding me?" he growled.

"No, I'm not," she said blowing strands of blond hair out of her face, and buttoning her white crinkly blouse.

"Who the hell are you to say no to me?" he started to speak roughly.

"Doug," Elle spoke calmly, a little afraid, and trying to shake open the rusty handle of the back of the van. It was locked. "Just let me out of this van,"

"I don't think so," he said, "I thought we had a connection." He tried to calm down. Catch flies with honey, Dougie boy.

"I just want to go back inside," Elle whimpered.

Doug closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying his hardest to keep his cool.

Don't do it, Dougie boy. Let this one go...

...But no girl had ever said "no" to him before. He couldn't handle the rejection.

Who the hell does she think she is? Doug flinched. He couldn't swallow down the anger anymore- anger that Elle would tease him so freely. She was a woman. Women don't have power. He had the power, and he knew it was time goodie-two-shoe Elle Lavender learned a valuable lesson.

He lunged at her, and she screamed, seemingly trying to fight him off. She figured she'd scratch him a few times to really get him angry. Sort of like shaking up a beehive before you spray it with bug killer.

Another bastard took the bait. Elle thought. Silly Doug actually thought he'd be her first. She thought maybe he'd be different, maybe he would be the one that she let live, but he was just like the rest of them. Men just don't have the same complexity of soul as women did. He ripped off her shirt, and she cursed, but not because he was hurting her—she wanted nothing more but to wear that shirt again. Now, she'd have to buy a new one. He was gritting his teeth, spitting, pinning her down and holding her by the wrists, and all she could think was… her stomach was growling. She needed to eat something.

Honestly, she decided on what she wanted for dinner a few weeks ago, but now things just got personal—she definitely would prefer to eat the boy who had torn her favorite shirt. Snatching the cross from off her neck, that was one thing, but her blouse? That broke her heart.

Doug screamed, feeling a sharp pain in his sides. He was bleeding. Elle looked different to him, somehow, and as she changed, he was really unsure at what he was looking at…

He'd really never get the chance to know.

Author's note: If you didn't figure it out, this fan fiction's chapters are named after songs. Band to check out: Depeche Mode

Every Doug in the world deserves this fate, in my opinion.