Sorry
"Such an ugly world for something so beautiful."
I'm sorry for loving you. You sit there biting your lip and just like that, you don't even know what you do to me. I try to fight the urge to kiss you, because in my eyes, you're just that beautiful. You listen to the soft echoes of the birds outside, and I can't help but wonder what you're thinking. I used to be able to tell. But that was a long time ago. I want to feel your head nestled against my neck, as your soft curls caress my face. You sit so calm and comfortably while I'm dangling on the edge of my seat, trying to reach out. Trying to touch you.
You walk out the room just as the bell rings. I watch you laughing and smiling with your friends. Your warm smile is so bright, it almost makes me smile. You used to smile like that for me. I feel a tug on my heart as your pink lips curl upward into a smirk. My smirk. I smiled at the thought. And I now knew why it hurt so much. You were just like me. I look at you as you glance my way. I want you to know that I think about you. If I didn't have this large white cast on my foot, then maybe I'd walk up to you and ask you how you are doing. In reality, I know I wouldn't do that. But, it's nice to dream.
I dream about us sometimes. And how we used to hold hands and make jokes. If only things could be that way again. If I hadn't tried to fix something that wasn't broken. But, don't get me wrong. We were already broken. The words that once held us together now tear us apart, leaving us shattered pieces of glass. I couldn't even put us back together again. So I just had to watch as the mess became bigger and the words got shorter. And the love got weaker. She was so close to me. So close to being mine again.
I could almost hear her soft voice calling my name like a sad song. "Eli." She spoke words that would melt my insides. I closed my eyes, wanting to be enfolded by the warmth of her voice. She slowly glided away from me. And when the sweet scent from her hair danced in my nostrils, I couldn't help myself but to follow her. And now I was standing there behind her, right where I wanted to be. My arm reached out to tap her shoulder, and when her soft skin rubbed up against mine, I knew there was no going back. Not now, not ever.
Don't hate me for this. "Clare." I whisper softly. I see her hesitate and then she turns around to face me. I knew she would. And that's the reason why I feel so guilty about this. I'm going to say sorry because it seems like the appropriate word choice for our predicament. So I'm going to say sorry before anything goes down. Not because I really mean it. But because I know what I'm capable of.
Hey Guys! Please review and tell me what you think!.. Chapter 2 anyone