Three kids stood atop the roof of the Candy Store. One leaned over the ledge, scanning the dark streets with a pair of binoculars. Another stood beside him, eagerly staring over his shoulder. The last paced back and forth, mumbling to himself.
"See anything yet?" Loudmouth asked, slapping a hand on Fly Guy's shoulder. Loudmouth dressed simply in a black sweater and a matching black domino mask.
Fly Guy wore a pair of red goggles fashioned to look like a fly's eye. He appeared to have a pair of wings sprouting from his back, but they also could've just been tennis rackets painted black.
"Tell me, Loudmouth, exactly what sort of rapscallions do you intend to find here?" The Professor said, stopping his pacing. The Professor wore a lab coat, a surgical mask, and pink latex gloves pulled all the way up to his elbows.
It was slightly past midnight and well past their bedtimes. They hadn't seen a single soul out and about since they got here. Even in the day time, Peach Creek's main street wasn't known for being action-packed.
"Think about it, Professor!" Loudmouth said, throwing his arm around the Professor's shoulders. "First we save main street, then all of Peach Creek! We'll be rich! We'll be famous! Maybe even Jaw-Breaker and Light-Speedster would wanna work with us."
"I'm sure there's better ways to achieve recognition." The Professor's voice faltered ever so slightly.
"I don't see you coming up with anything."
"Bad guys off the port bow!" Fly Guy suddenly shouted. Loudmouth snatched the binoculars out of Fly Guy's hands. He managed to catch a glimpse of a pair of thieves sneaking in the side entrance of the laundromat across the street.
Loudmouth stood in front of the other two in a classic hero pose. Fists on hips, chest puffed out, chin held high.
"Well, boys, looks like we've got ourselves a couple of laundry thieves." He couldn't resist smirking at the Professor.
"Edd– Loudmouth, please. They're probably just maintenance workers, or there to do laundry, or..."
"The place is closed, sockhead." Loudmouth said. All the lights were off in the laundromat. In fact, most of the store front lights were out.
"I saw them, Double Dee! They looked just like the bad guys from old cartoons." Fly Guy said.
"Fly Guy, don't call me that while we're in uniform." The Professor hissed, looking over his shoulders.
"Relax, Professor," Loudmouth said tauntingly. "It's not like anyone can hear us from up here." He turned to his taller companion. "Take us down, Fly Guy!"
"Right o!" Fly Guy said, giving a quick salute.
He wrapped his arms around Loudmouth and the Professor and hugged them tight to his body. He carried them effortlessly to the ledge as Loudmouth pressed buttons on the contraption on Fly Guy's. The air filled with a mechanical hum as his wings started to flap.
"Wait, please, reconsidered! I haven't even taken it out for a test fli–!" The Professor was cut off as Fly Guy leaped off the edge. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a shriek of terror.
"Hurry up or they'll get away!" Loudmouth shouted. Fly Guy flew through the air as gracefully as a fly that'd been swatted but refused to die.
"By George, we're flying!" The Professor exclaimed when he dared to open his eyes. He couldn't enjoy their flight for long, as they crashed into the side of a dumpster.
"Fly Guy, you really need to work on your landing." The Professor groaned.
"Come on, come on." Loudmouth said impatiently before ducking inside.
"Eddy, no, we can't be in here!" The Professor ran in after him. The side door lead to the back room of the laundromat.
"What are we supposed to do? Just let these schmucks loot the place?" Loudmouth said.
"No, I suppose we can't." The Professor said slowly.
"We must protect the fair dust bunnies of this land of laundry detergent!" Fly Guy shouted.
"Attaboy, lumpy, let's go!" The two charged into the front room, the Professor lagging behind.
The thieves stopped tearing apart washers to get at the sweet, sweet quarters inside to look at the trio. Ed had been right; they did look like old timey criminals. They wore black and white striped shirts and black hats. One wore a domino mask, the other wore a black bandana that covered their mouth.
It was hard to see in what little light came in through the window, but the Professor could tell they were around his age. They're kids, they're just kids, and the Professor's legs went wobbly and his mouth went dry.
"Don't chicken out now, sockhead." Loudmouth whispered, elbowing the Professor.
The Professor half-jogged to the side of the line of washers. Fly Guy crashed onto the washer on the other side of them, and Loudmouth stood before them.
Loudmouth grabbed the megaphone holstered on his belt and shouted, "We've got you surrounded! Give up the cash and we'll let you off without any bruises!" The sound was loud enough to shake the washers. The thieves swayed and clung to each other for balance.
"Get 'em, Fly Guy!" On Loudmouth's command, Fly Guy tackled the thieves to the ground.
"Get off of me!" The thieves screamed in unison, their voices low and gravelly and identical.
"C'mon, boys, let's wrap this up." Loudmouth said. "I can just see what tomorrow's headline will be: 'Grand Entrance for Peach Creek's Most Promising New Vigilante Group'!"
"For goodness sake, we just apprehended two children stealing quarters out of laundry machines! It's really not that spectacular." The Professor griped.
He dug in his pocket, searching for the bubblegum bomb that'd ensnare the thieves and ensure their capture. He pulled out a small white ball and tossed it at the thieves' feet. On contact the ball exploded into a fine baking powdery cloud that engulfed the laundromat.
"Oops." Was all the Professor said.
"Where'd all this snow come from?" Fly Guy asked, popping into the Professor's field of vision.
"It's not snow, it's baking powder... Aren't you supposed to be minding the thieves?" The Professor asked.
"Oh, right!" Fly Guy cried, diving back into the cloud. He popped back out a moment later. "I think they got away."
Loudmouth appeared before the two, flailing his arms around to try and clear the air. Even under the layer of baking powder, the Professor could see that his face was bright red.
"Good going, Professor!" Before Loudmouth could chew the Professor out, he was sucker punched by a fist as hard as stone. Loudmouth stumbled back, out of view of his teammates. Through the haze of baking powder and the stars clouding his vision, Loudmouth saw a boy who looked like he'd carved out of a jawbreaker.
"Loudmouth?" Fly Guy called into the white abyss.
"What –" Loudmouth choked on his words as he narrowly missed being punched again. Why was Jaw-Breaking trying to punch him? They should be fighting side by side, along with his partner in vigilantism. Where was she, anyway?
"Gah!" The Professor yelped as he was suddenly whisked away.
"Professor?" Loudmouth asked. The baking soda was beginning to settle, and Loudmouth could just see the Professor be thrown to the ground and sat on. The girl doing the sitting was a petite blonde in a blue and peach colored Letterman jacket.
"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?!" Loudmouth shouted, turning to face Jaw-Breaker. He clocked the candy-coated boy in the square in the chin. Loudmouth recoiled and held his fist tight. He hadn't even scuffed Jaw-Breaker's armor.
Jaw-Breaker lunged at Loudmouth and tackled him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him. He tried to regain his composure quickly, spluttering and squirming beneath him.
Jaw-Breaker reared back, ready to punch Loudmouth's lights out when Loudmouth held up his megaphone shouted, "What the heck are you doing?" Jaw-Breaker reeled back, clasping his hands over his ears.
"I've got you, Eddy!" Fly Guy shouted as his kicked Jaw-Breaker in the back of the head. Loudmouth wriggled out from under him and scrambled to his feet.
"Not cool, dude!" Light-Speedster said. She jumped off the Professor and in the blink of an eye held one of Fly Guy's ankles. She grunted as she spun Fly Guy around and around and around until all anyone could see was a tornado of black and peach and blonde.
"This is fun!" Fly Guy laughed. Light-Speedster sent him sailing, taking down Jaw-Breaker, Loudmouth, and the Professor in the process. "Not fun anymore." He groaned.
"Great job, dude, we got 'em!" Light-Speedster cheered, skipping over to the pile of bruised and battered vigilantes.
Jaw-Breaker was on top of Loudmouth again in an instant, this time making sure to pin his arms to the ground. The domino mask that'd once been on Loudmouth's face had fallen off. Jaw-Breaker's face wrinkled in a mixture of surprise and disgust.
"Eddy?" He said as the candy armor on his face crumbled away.
"Kevin?" Loudmouth said.
"What the heck are you doing?!" The two yelled in unison.
"No way! Does this mean?" Light-Speedster gasped. She pulled off the Professor's mask, revealing Double Dee's bright pink cheeks. She propped Fly Guy's goggles atop his head, and Ed looked up at her like a puppy that's just been scolded.
Kevin got off of Eddy and took his place beside Light-Speedster. He crossed his arms, and Light-Speedster held her hands over her mouth in shock.
"I knew you three were dorks, but criminals? Sick." Kevin said coldly.
"We're not criminals!" Eddy shouted, his face growing red.
"Please don't tell my mom!" Ed began bawling his eyes out.
"What? Are you dorks just here to do a late night wash?" Kevin asked, rolling his eyes.
"And what happened to the washers?" Light-Speedster gestured to the many machines that'd been torn apart.
"The real criminals got away because somebody can't tell the difference between a bubblegum bomb and a baking powder vapor barrier." Eddy glared at Double Dee.
Double Dee quickly filled them in on the finer details of the night's events. At the end he added, "Please believe us! We're vigilantes, just like you."
Kevin and Nazz stood silent for a second. They tried to contain their laughter, but Kevin couldn't hold it. light-Speedster buried her face in her jacket, trying to muffle her giggles.
"Light-Speedster, go check the security tapes and see if their story checks out." Kevin said between fits of laughter. Light-Speedster left and came back in nearly the same breath.
"Looks like they're telling the truth, Kev." Light-Speedster said, her face bright pink from giggling.
"All right. Let's leave the Dork Brigade to clean up their mess." The two walked away, laughing and jeering and being generally unsupportive of Eddy's dreams.
"Yuk it up while you can! Some day, we will be Peach Creek's favorite vigilante team!" Eddy shouted into his megaphone, shaking his fist at them. Eddy slumped down on to his pile of friends. He was angry, and tired, and sore. Kevin's comeuppance would come at a later time. Right now there was only one thing on all three of the Eds minds.
"Take us home, Fly Guy." Eddy sighed.
Ed got up and hovered a few inches above Eddy and Double Dee. He grabbed each of their hands and tried to pull them up. He quickly crashed back down on top of his friends.
"Perhaps we should call a cab?" Double Dee suggested.
"Good idea, Doub–Fessor."