Written for Eilidh17's birthday. She threat-, er, encouraged me to write a sequel to Mimesis, so here it is. A huge thank you to taylyn10 for her tremendous help with the story!
Potentia
Part 1
In the place of stillness, rises potential. From the place of potential, emerges possibility. Where there is possibility, there is choice. And where there is choice, there is freedom.
Gabriella Goddard
Awareness came gradually, like a curtain being slowly drawn back, allowing light to shine through. Colors swirled around him, their tendrils reaching into his mind, teasing forth memories deeply buried.
He no longer struggled to breathe, all pain was gone. In fact, he felt nothing at all; his physical body was gone. His mind scattered, consciousness flowing outwards through time and space as though pulled by a siren's song. The sensation was familiar and he easily slipped back into the process. The flash of a familiar face stopped the dissemination of his being into the universe and anchored his mind to the scene he'd just left. He reached out, searching.
There. He'd found the object of his search. Jack. Still leaning against the wall of the cave, an empty set of clothes across lap. Daniel's clothes. Jack had been right-he could do this on his own. Daniel smiled, as much as was possible without a face to express it. Jack had done more than push him to try; he'd said the words that had given Daniel what he needed to take that step. 'I love you, buddy.'
Looking down at his friend, Daniel could see the track of a tear running down his cheek. Time to reassure Jack that he was fine-that he'd done it.
But something wasn't right. His intention was to move to Jack's side, but he found himself unable to move. It had been easy before-think and it would happen. Not this time. Again, he willed himself forward and again was thwarted. Why couldn't he move?
Daniel calmed himself and reached out once again. This time, searching for an explanation from the Others. Another presence made itself known, touching his mind, and he didn't hesitate to ask his question.
"Why can't I move?"
"You have ascended for a third time, Daniel." A lilting voice rang throughout the space in which he was confined. "Each time you have been unable to follow the rules and each time you have caused a disturbance among our people, only to descend again. It has been decided that we cannot allow you to continue to ascend and descend in this manner."
"Who has decided this?" Daniel's anger began to mount. "What right do they have to determine whether or not I can ascend? What are they going to do?"
"It is the collective decision of the Others that you be kept here in this place and not allowed to interact with any other ascended beings, nor your mortal friends."
He was being punished? Punished for ascending and descending too many times and for attempting to interfere in the lower planes. How could they do this to him?
"I didn't realize there was a limit on the number of times you can ascend." He was fed up with their rules, especially ones that were unreasonable. "How long are you going to keep me here?"
"You do not understand, Daniel. This is permanent. I am sorry, but you will not be allowed to leave this place-ever."
The presence dissolved, leaving him alone to contemplate the sentence that had been handed down.
Permanent? A sliver of fear pierced its way into his consciousness. To be stuck here for eternity was like being sent to his own personal hell. No contact with his friends-with anyone. He sought out Jack once again, striving with all his being to reach him. Nothing. All he could do was watch as Jack sat against the wall, his hands grasping the clothes Daniel had left behind.
Daniel couldn't tell him that a Tok'ra ship was overhead searching for him, or that Sam and Teal'c were at the SGC, about to call with news he'd be reached soon. All he could do was watch as Jack was ringed aboard-alone.
~oOo~
Daniel was surprised that he'd been able to 'see' Jack as he'd traveled on the Tok'ra ship to another planet with a Stargate. They'd used a healing device to fix his knee but it had done nothing to fix his mood.
Jack had alternated between cranky and quietly sullen during the trip and his Tok'ra rescuers had pretty much left him alone.
The only other images Daniel had been able to see during that time were of Sam and Teal'c at the SGC. With all three of his teammates, though, it had felt like watching from a distance; he'd been unable to get close or to make his presence known. Now, he was only a silent observer as Jack stepped through the gate at the SGC.
~ oOo~
The shimmering event horizon rippled as two figures stepped through. One wore the muted browns of the Tok'ra while the other wore dirt-covered green camo. Hesitating until the words 'stand down' echoed through the room, both men descended the ramp.
The Tok'ra had sent a brief communication informing the SGC that they'd picked up one Tau'ri and were returning with him. No clarification on which Tau'ri they had or why they'd only picked up one. The general's description of Daniel's condition had been dire, so it was no surprise that her commanding officer was the one ambling down the ramp. Still, it was a slam in the chest to realize what Daniel's absence meant.
"Sir, you're walking." She stammered, remembering the general's succinct description, my knee's gone.
His face was smudged with dirt, just like his clothes. "Yeah, a little habit I picked up, oh, fifty years or so ago."
"Sorry, sir, I just wasn't expecting—"
"No, I'm sorry, Carter." He held up a hand to halt her apology. "Haven't had the best of days. The Tok'ra used a healing device."
"Right." Another question formed on her lips, only to be asked by the stoic teammate standing next to her.
"What of Daniel Jackson?"
Something flashed across the general's eyes, signaling to Sam that this was not a subject he wanted to talk about.
"Not coming, Teal'c." Before a response could be given, Jack continued. "Can we discuss this after I've been poked, prodded, and more importantly, showered?" He nodded in the direction of the medics standing next to the waiting gurney.
Teal'c dipped his head, accepting the vague explanation and tabling any further questions.
"I can walk," Jack said curtly, waving away the medics.
Sam followed the general out of the gateroom, Teal'c at her side, and all the way to the infirmary. She stood off to one side and watched as he was put through his exam; listened to him give terse responses to the doctor's questions and observed him hold himself barely in check as the nurses tried to do their jobs.
It was like watching a pot simmer, she decided, just waiting until it reached the boiling point and the lid blew off. She wanted to shake him—walk right up, grab him by the shoulders and shout, 'What about Daniel?' How could he not say anything when he knew what it was doing to them to be kept in the dark?
The general would never have left his body behind, unless, well, unless something had happened to it. She couldn't imagine what that was and wasn't sure she really wanted to know. But this was Daniel, of course she wanted to know. How many times had they lost him now? Her heart had been broken so many times and each time it had healed—eventually. She did want to know, had to know. Would this be the one time she would be denied that healing? Was Daniel truly gone?
Jack jumped off the table, brushing aside the pills being offered him, and headed for the door. Sam moved to follow, her large shadow at her side.
"You gonna stand and watch while I shower, too?"
There was no hint of humor; the pot continued to simmer. She thought about saying, 'yes, I'm going to follow you until you tell me what happened to Daniel—to you'. Instead, she played the good subordinate. "No, sir. When will you debrief us?"
His jaw shifted back and forth as he clenched it, the lid threatening to blow, but his reply was calm and quiet, as though it was an apology in itself. "As soon as I shower and change. Why don't you see to our guest?"
The Tok'ra. They'd just left him to fend for himself, though she was sure Walter would have stepped in and taken care of things. "Yes, sir."
Jack reached for her arm, grasping it gently. "I'll explain everything, Carter. Just… just give me a few minutes."
He glanced at Teal'c, eyes searching for understanding, then turned them to Sam, asking both of them for their patience, for the chance to come to terms with events himself.
Reining in her own churning emotions, Sam answered. "Of course, sir."
"We will await you in the briefing room, O'Neill."
Sam wondered how Teal'c could sound so calm when she knew he wasn't. He was as eager as she was to learn what had transpired on the planet.
"Thanks." Jack released her arm and walked away. She couldn't help but think that he looked older than he had when they'd left on this mission. She had a feeling he wasn't the only one.
~oOo~
He didn't know which was worse: not knowing what was happening or knowing and not being able to do anything about it.
Helplessly, Daniel watched as the Tok'ra representative left and Jack called Sam and Teal'c into his office for a private meeting. There he filled his teammates in on what happened on the planet, from Daniel jumping the Jaffa, to finding the cave, to their final moments before Daniel ascended.
Jack finished his story and the three sat around the briefing room table in silence.
Sam wiped away a tear. "He'll be back," she said, voice choking with emotion. "Both times he ascended, he came back."
"This is true," Teal'c agreed, his voice as soft as Daniel had ever heard it.
Jack fiddled with a pen, rolling it between his fingers. "Yeah. About that."
"Sir?"
"I sort of gave him permission to stay and play."
Sam's eyes opened wider. "You think he will?"
Jack looked up at her. "If you were Daniel, wouldn't you?"
Sam appeared to consider this while Teal'c asked, "Do you not think he would wish to re-join SG-1?"
"Well," Jack replied, "considering that we've defeated the System Lords and the Replicators and pretty much any other threat that's out there, I think Daniel deserves to go explore all that 'meaning of life stuff', don't you?"
For the first time since he'd ascended, Daniel felt his despair begin to lift. That Jack was willing to let him go was a statement of just how much he cared about him. And Daniel was more than grateful. If only Jack knew that Daniel wasn't out exploring the universe, that, in fact, he was more limited than he'd ever been.
"We may have defeated the System Lords, O'Neill, but there are many other Goa'uld who desire to build an empire to take their place."
"Like whoever set that trap for us on P5R-333?" Sam surmised.
"Well, there's not much we can do about it," Jack stated. "If Daniel wants to come back, he will. If he wants to go exploring, well, we'll just have to live with it."
Jack was giving him not just his permission, he was also giving him his blessing.
"What now, sir?"
"Now we get back to work. Carter, prepare a report on your next mission. You and Teal'c need to decide who you want to repla—who you want to take with you. The pre-mission briefing will be tomorrow at 1300."
"Yes, sir." Sam's face was creased with lines as though she was in pain.
Teal'c dipped his head in acknowledgment, but didn't speak. Jack got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him.
Sam and Teal'c sat silently for a few seconds, then Sam got up and walked to the window where she stood, arms crossed, looking down at the 'gate. Teal'c moved to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You fear that Daniel Jackson will not return this time."
Sam's gaze remained on the Stargate. "Yeah, I do. The general's right—we've defeated most of the Goa'uld and the Replicators are gone. There's no reason Daniel should come back. Not when he's got the entire universe to explore."
"That may be true, Colonel Carter, but there is one thing he will not find anywhere else in the universe."
Sam turned her head to look up at him questioningly, eyes bright with tears.
"I believe it is the one thing that will bring him back to us in time."
"What's that?"
"Us."
~oOo~
Daniel watched his teammates' interactions, aching to touch them, to reassure them that he was fine. Well, if you could call sentenced to eternal imprisonment on another plane of existence 'fine'.
He followed Jack to the gear up room, watched him slam his locker shut and drop to the bench, head in his hands. He longed to be able to make his presence known, to give Jack some bit of comfort. He knew how hard it must have been for Jack to let him go—again.
He watched Sam return to her lab, pick up a piece of equipment that was lying on her table, and turn it over and over in her hands, tears running down her cheeks. He remembered how hard it had been for her the first time he'd died and ascended; how she'd sat at his bedside in the infirmary and told him that she'd always hoped he knew how she felt about him. He did.
He observed as Teal'c entered his quarters and stood silently for a few moments before picking up a lighter and moving slowly around the room, lighting candles. Years of fighting by his side had given Daniel the ability to see what most people could not—his friend was hurting.
Daniel wondered why he was able to follow the movements of his teammates, but nothing else. Gradually, he began pulling back into himself, away from the SGC. Soon he was looking down at Cheyenne Mountain and Colorado Springs. Re-focusing his mind, he was able to see the entire Earth. But, as he drew further away, searching past the confines of his home planet, he found the edges of his vision became blurred until he could see nothing but the swirling colors around him. Could he reach others that he knew? He strived to see Dakara, Cimmeria, Chulak; to find the Tok'ra; to no avail. He realized that the thread must only tie him to his friends—his family. Suddenly afraid he might have severed his connection, he quickly focused on them and found himself back at the SGC. Apparently, this tenuous thread that connected him to his teammates was stronger than he thought, and not just temporary. Again he was grateful for anything that would give him a link to his former life.
Confident that he could return whenever he wanted, Daniel pulled away again until he was back in his 'prison'. Clearing his mind, he focused on one thing, pouring all of his energy into it, finally releasing his SOS out into the galaxy.
Oma.
Seconds ticked by, or maybe they were hours or days. Time literally had no meaning here.
Nothing. No answer to his plea. Daniel could only assume that meant Oma was still locked in eternal battle with Anubis. That was a good thing for Earth; not so good for Oma. Or for him. He was stuck in his own unending hell and the term 'eternity' was taking on a whole new meaning.
But if Oma was unreachable, maybe others weren't. Clearing his mind again, he focused his thoughts on those that he felt he had a close connection to. Surely he could reach someone.
Shifu?
Skarra?
Silence was his answer. More seconds, more years ticked by, but still his prison remained quiet, a quiet that was beginning to unnerve him. Latching on to his thread, his lifeline, Daniel pulled himself back to the noisy world of the SGC.
~oOo~
Jack was sleeping. Tossing and turning, mumbling, then settling again. Daniel ached to reach out and touch him, to soothe him. Even knowing Daniel had ascended, Jack still had trouble putting his mind at rest. If he knew what fate had befallen Daniel, his sleep would be even more disturbed.
Sam threw back the covers and went to the bathroom, half filling her glass with water. Placing the empty glass back on the counter, she glanced in the mirror. Daniel saw her gently touch the puffy skin under her red-rimmed eyes before turning off the light and climbing back into bed. He longed to talk to her, to feel her pull him into a hug that was at the same time strong and soft, and tell her things would be okay.
Teal'c sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, surrounded by glowing candles. Remembering another time when Teal'c had been able to sense his presence, Daniel tried to call out to him.
Teal'c opened his eyes and Daniel felt hope rekindle in him. Yes, Teal'c, it's me! Teal'c stood and began blowing out the candles. When he finished, he climbed into bed, pulled up the blanket, and stared at the ceiling for several minutes before closing his eyes. Daniel felt his hope extinguished like the candle flames.
Disheartened, Daniel returned to his 'cell,' cocooned in silence once again.
~oOo~
A sense of being watched made Daniel instantly alert. Something or someone was just on the edge of his senses, sending ripples through the swirling colors of his prison.
"Who's there?"
More ripples, more silence.
"Please, talk to me." He knew he sounded desperate and he was.
A shape began to take form, becoming sharper and sharper until he could distinguish a face. It was a familiar face—one he recognized immediately, even though it had matured a few years since he'd last seen it.
"Shifu?"
"Yes, Daniel."
"Have you come to help me?" He dared to allow himself a bit of hope.
"I have come to tell you that Skaara and the Abydonians cannot hear you."
"Why can you?"
A small smile curved the corners of his step-son's mouth. "Oma says that I am special—not like the others. I have gone a step beyond."
Was Daniel hearing him right? "You've attained an even higher level of ascension?"
"Some perceive it as such. Just as there are many roads that lead to the Great Path, there are many levels that one may travel on."
This was the best news Daniel could hope for. If Shifu truly had ascended to an even higher plane, he might be powerful enough to free him from his imprisonment.
"Can you get me out?"
"I do not believe I am strong enough to break their collective will. That does not mean you cannot."
"Me? How?" That's what he'd been trying to do ever since he'd been sent here.
"You have it within you to reach farther."
"I don't understand." What made Shifu think he could get out on his own?
"Oma teaches that a field of wheat grows tall, but some stalks reach higher than those around it."
He really wasn't in the mood for one of these kinds of conversations. "Shifu, forget Oma's riddles. Can you do anything to help me?"
"You can help yourself, Daniel. Remember this: you are like the boulder beneath the flowing stream that is mistaken for a tiny pebble; what you truly are is hidden from view."
Shifu's image began to fade, blending in with the swirling mist of his prison.
"Wait! Don't go!"
"Remember, Daniel . . . . " The voice faded along with the image.
Daniel felt like he'd been thrown a life preserver, only to have it yanked away. Stalks of wheat, pebbles and boulders—why couldn't Shifu just speak plainly? His anger died as quickly as it had flared as he realized the answer. By not giving Daniel specific answers, Shifu and Oma had been able to cleverly circumvent the rules of non-interference.
Suddenly the vague messages garnered Daniel's full attention. A field of wheat grows tall, but some stalks reach higher than those around it. He was comparing Daniel to the taller stalks—but why? And how did that help him?
You are like the boulder beneath the flowing stream that is mistaken for a tiny pebble; what you truly are is hidden from view. What did it mean? One thing he was sure of-Shifu wouldn't have said it if it wasn't important.
The spark of hope continued to burn within him. Maybe he had the means—the power—to free himself. He'd just have to figure out how.
~oOo~
Time drifted.
Daniel observed his friends as they went about their daily lives: Jack brooding in his office, doodling on his reports, overseeing briefings, sending teams through the gate-always with the standing order to keep an eye out for Daniel; Sam working in her lab, losing herself in her work as she tinkered with an alien object brought back by one of the teams, occasionally visiting his office where she perused the shelves, opening a book or examining one of his artifacts; Teal'c training new recruits, being harder on them than Daniel could ever remember, and going through the routine of kel-no-reem even though he no longer required it. Guilt weighed heavily on him as he watched each of them deal with his loss in their own way.
And as they slept, Daniel focused every ounce of his being on finding a way out of his prison.
Time drifted.
~oOo~
TBC