Damn, I know I should be working on The Product of Experimentation, but I keep getting mental blocks and our finals have come up. This fic will be used as a little outlet for whenever I get either a writer's block, or an annoying plot bunny.

I guess it will mostly be Humor, but I'm not sure if it's even funny. So if it is, please review and I will change the genre accordingly.

I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn~

1st Drink-Wine Solves Everything?

Author's Room~

"AGH..." Luke sughed audibly in the confines of the small room, head slumped in front of a small laptop. "What else should I write? I mean, I got the plot down, but...the execution..." The young fan fiction author let out a cry which would be akin to that of a little girl's. "What will I do to get some ideas out...AHA! I got it!"

"There's some wine downstairs in one of the cupboards! I'll drink some of it! That'll solve my problem! Wine solves EVERYTHING!" Please take note that the author of this is under aged and still in school.

One hour and fifty-five bottles later~

"Urrrghhhhh..." Luke's speech had now become slurred, footsteps clumsy, and all that the now drunk teen was able to type down was a mess of letters.

rhfbvalwefivrfrauiwvnszlgih

"That...didn't help at all..." were the KHR fan's last words before collapsing on the bed, dead drunk.

Screwed-up Dreamland~

"How dare you defy me, Daemon!"

"Nufufu...I truly am sorry, Primo, but we're just not on the same terms here." Daemon's words spilled out like acid, and Giotto glared at his Mist Guardian disbelievingly.

What were they fighting about? What were they not on terms with?

No, it's not about making the Vongola a Mafia organization.

It was much, much more serious.

"How dare you not like tomatoes!"

Yea. As serious as happy magical jellyfish-unicorns living in the land of sunshine and other bulls**t.

"Nufu, that's because melons are much better."

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are!"

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are!"

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are!"

Meanwhile, Alaude was in the corner, contemplating about whether or not he should arrest the two for fighting about such a trivial matter and disrupting the peace.

Yup, he definitely wasn't thinking about how skylarks were WAY more awesome and commanding a flock of them to attack Primo and Daemon like the bad-ass skylark law-enforcer he was.

No siree.

"Tomatoes are WAY better Daemon!" Giotto said indignantly, holding up a bunch of the said fruit/vegetables.

"No, melons are WAY F$%^*^% better and AWESOMER than tomatoes!" Daemon replied, also holding up a few melons.

"That's not even a real word, dammit! 'Awesomer'? What kind of half-assed grammar is that!?"

They then proceeded to throw an endless amount of the said foodstuffs they were holding at each other, seemingly pulling them out of Mallet Space.

Of course, all that Daemon was receiving on his end was a bunch of tomatoes that only made him look like he either bathed in blood or got sprayed by a skunk and had to bathe in tomato juice, which he pretty much was doing. Bathing in tomato juice.

But Giotto, the poor Don, was being hit by big-ass MELONS. And was being bathed in his own blood.

Great. Just great. He just got that suit dry-cleaned.

Did they even have dry-cleaning? I think not. So shut the hell up Primo.

Just then, a great cloud of...pink (Please note that the author of this has a deep hatred for pure pink-ness and is supposedly allergic to the very color)...appeared, and Tsuna, the amazing Decimo he is, popped out, a tuna in each hand, and stopped them from fighting.

Moral Lesson of the Story: Fighting for peace is like f$%^&** for virginity.

Wao. I thought it was going to be something like 'Tuna solves everything'.

NOTICE! The moral of the story has been changed.

Moral Lesson of the Story: TUNA SOLVES EVERYTHING.

WTF?!

Somewhere else in Screwed-up Dreamland~

Squalo sat on his bed, in front of the screen of his laptop, wide-eyed and petrified. Yes, that's right, something was actually scary enough to petrify the Sword Emperor.

What is it?

Wait for the story to continue, dammit.

"Ushishi, stupid shark-commander, are you done using the laptop yet?" Belphegor walked into Squalo's room, signature grin on his face.

Squalo didn't respond.

"Ushishishi, oi, I said, are you done yet?"

No response.

A tick mark appeared on Bel's head. "Stupid commander. Are. You. Done. Yet?! " he said, mouthing each word slowly.

Once again, no response.

Instead of throwing his knives at the commander, Bel thought that maybe the stupid shark commander was looking at something interesting and decided to see for himself. He snatched the laptop from Squalo, who voiced no response. On the screen was the black screen of a video against the familiar white background of YouTube.

"Ushishi? Were you looking at porn?" Bel teased, "I never knew you had it in you, sharkie."

"Let's have a look, shall we?" Bel chuckled as he hit the replay button. The video played.

Silence.

Belphegor was officially scarred for life. He tossed the laptop back onto Squalo's bed.

"I...didn't need to see that..." he said before rushing out the room.

Five hours later~

"Oi, trash, where's the shark-trash?"

"Squalo? I haven't seen him all day, boss," Levi replied. He caught sight of Belphegor.

"Oi, Belphegor!" Levi called out. Bel turned around, and...wait, where's his Chesire Cat grin?

"Hm?" What the- no 'ushishishi, peasant'?

Something was definitely wrong with Belphegor.

"Have you seen Squalo anywhere?" Levi asked. Bel's mouth turned into something of a frown as he shuddered.

Wait, shuddered?

"He's...in his room..." Bel answered carefully, eyebrows knitted under his heavy bangs. Xanxus had decided that he would get Squalo and stormed to the commander's room.

He slammed open the door of the room. "Oi, shark-trash, why have you been in here all day?"

Squalo slowly, albeit reluctantly, turned his head to get a peek of the boss before he did something...awkward.

He screamed, no, not 'VOI', just flat out screamed and headed to the safety of his personal bathroom. Xanxus raised an eyebrow before he noticed the laptop on the bed.

The trash was online? He went over to the laptop and saw the black screen of the ended video. His curiosity getting the better of him, he clicked the replay button.

Oh, F$%^ no.

It was a XanxusXSqualo tribute, complete with a few doujinshi pages. And I'm not talking about the little hugs and kisses thing. It was the hardcore stuff. Hardcore yaoi, BL.

The first few pics were actually not very suggestive, but halfway through...

Xanxus ceremoniously fainted. On Squalo's bed.

Squalo peeked out to see if the coast was clear, but saw Xanxus on his bed and decided to just stay in his bathroom.

Maybe forever.

And so, for one entire year, Xanxus and Squalo didn't make any contact whatsoever with each other, Squalo has made the bathroom his little safe haven, and Bel decided to cleanse his mind of the images by means of looking for something that could get it off his mind. Unfortunately, he accidentally came across BelXFran, BelXMammon and other such videos and fics. They, too, were hardcore.

And so, he has given up on using the internet for all eternity.