Yuri Plisetsky is not used to using words to express his emotions-

that's what ice skating is for: to declare what's on your mind

in the most direct way possible

without having to muddle your words with diluted syllables

misunderstood because of the movements of your mouth-

and so, he stays quiet more often than not;

the matters of emotions

do not interest him

because the words to describe his innermost thoughts

escape him, squirm out of his insides like jello

for pride sticks in his throat

loud enough to hide

the fear of failure (he has to win,

above all,

more than life and more than breath

for the cutthroat nature

of competition runs deep within his soul) ,

the fear of not being accepted (who even likes a loser

who doesn't even like himself?),

and worst of all, the fear of disapproval,

(that nagging voice

whispering to you during your happiest moments

reminding you of when you failed so truly so utterly

can't ever be silenced).

So here Yuri sits,

as still and as wooden as can be

overcoming the fierce desire to twitch

with the fire within

legs crossed, tight-lipped,

arms crossed, face contorted

on the bleachers of the skating rink

staring Otabek Atlin in the eyes.

"I can wait all day if you want," he deadpans,

expecting Yuri to open up emotionally

with that cute/annoying curl of his lips

tnto a smile that he dares call dazzling/dumb,

and that calm, collected tone infuriates Yuri

because how dare Otabek enunciate his words

with the tranquil bliss of standing water.

Ever since Yuri and Otabek became friends

(a word that burns

anxious and metallic on

Yuri's lips, burning and painful and right)

Otabek wanted Yuri to become more emotionally open,

and Yuri couldn't find out how to do so…

but Otabek guides him easily,

as if the idea of emotional maturity comes without work.

Otabek rewards Yuri with caresses,

soft and light and warm

across the cheek and on his hips

and on his thighs...oh so badly does Yuri

want to succumb to Otabek,

but pride? Pride says otherwise

(pride says a lot in Yuri's life,

pride never leaves,

always making itself welcome

with a saunter and a scream)

and all Yuri can reply to Otabek is

"How are you so fucking cool!"

That smirk Otabek wears,

seductive velvet and lustrous silk

wrought iron and sunset gold,

grows into a full-blown grin

of the shit-eating kind.

"So your brain worked

your mouth into saying something

your heart wanted" and Otabek

revels in Yuri's blustered, red-faced, protection of his wits

but underneath the swaggering protection of his pride

there is a vulnerable young man

with a heart willing to bloom

"I'll wait for you, Yuratchka."

Otabek kissed Yuri's forehead,

Yuri calms down, leans into the affection

and they both let out hearty laughs

and lead each other to the rink.