Title: A giant leap for Lima, a small step for gay domination of the world
Rating: PG-13 for language and suggestive themes
Pairing:Santana/Rachel, a tiny bit of Quinn/Brittany
Spoilers: through Sectionals
Disclaimer: nothing is mine, except the plot
Summary: Rachel just arrived at McKinley, Santana has a plan and Brittany is a genius in disguise. Sort of AU.
Note: English is not my first language, so thanks to squire_conrad for helping me!
"I don't know what the hell she sees in Hudson!" Santana exclaimed.
"Uh huh."
"I mean, he is cute like a puppy can be cute, but he is so stupid! Quinn deserves so much better!"
Her companion continued to draw figures on her stomach.
"You are coming to McKinley this year, right?"
"Should I be worried?" then continued, "You have this look in your eyes…like you're figuring out how to take on the world…anyway, yes, I'm coming to your school."
"You could use your seductive powers."
"You want me to seduce Quinn?" came the shocked question.
"No, silly, I want you to seduce Finn."
"Santana? Are you aware that I'm a lesbian?"
The Latina lifted the sheet and looked under it. "Yes, Rach, I'm pretty sure about that," she smirks.
"Listen, we need to show Quinn that Finn isn't good for her. She has this delusion that he is the perfect man, who loves her and doesn't even look at other girls. But he isn't. We just need someone who is not afraid of the mighty Quinn Fabray, who will pursue her boyfriend openly."
"Are you really asking me to steal your best friend's boyfriend?"
"It's not like he has never cheated on her."
"What? And she is still with him?" Rachel asked, outraged.
"She doesn't know and the other girls will never say anything because Quinn can ruin their lives."
"Supposing that I accept…why should Finn fall for me? I'm nothing like Quinn, and I've no intention of dying my hair…"
"Exactly! You need to be totally different from Quinn. He will love your attention, and after the first fight with Quinn he will fall into your arms, she'll leave him and everyone will have their happily ever after."
"Except Quinn."
"She'll thank us after Brittany has finished consoling her."
"Brittany?"
"She has had a crush on Quinn since forever."
"And what about us?"
"Rachel, everybody knows that after school New York is waiting for us. You'll take Broadway by storm and I'll stand proudly at your side. I just want my best friends to have a shot at happiness, even if they'll never have what we have."
"Are you sure that you don't want to keep me busy so that I won't destroy your bitchy reputation at school?"
"Way to ruin the moment, Berry," the girl grumbled, trying to leave the bed.
"Sorry," Rachel giggled and hugged her from behind. "I love that under your tough exterior there is a sweetheart," she whispered in her ear, "Now, get back under the sheets and finish your speech, I promise I won't talk."
"You can do that?" Santana mocked her slipping next to her before kissing Rachel's pout away. "I was going to say that I love my best friends, but I love you more so if you don't want to do it, we'll think of something else."
"I'll do it."
"Really?"
"Really. Besides, it will be fun, even if Quinn will hate me."
" You're perfect for me."
"Because I agreed to your evil plan?"
"That too. How many people would have done that? For the sake of someone they don't even know?"
"Well, not many people would have asked their girlfriend to cheat on them."
Santana's head snapped up. "What?"
Rachel burst into laughter, "God, you should have seen your face!"
"You are evil, just plain evil. I hope playing the good girl to get Finn won't hurt your little wicked head."
"Don't worry. I have a great nurse," Rachel wiggled her eyebrows, while trying to hop into her jeans.
"Rach, do you still have your uniforms?"
"Yeah, I can't wait to throw away those hideous things."
"I think you should wear that at school."
"No way!" she started to protest vehemently, but stopped. "Oh, do you think that the short skirts will help gain his attention?"
"Actually I was thinking more along the lines of 'if I can't have you at school, at least I can ogle your legs', but yeah, it will help with that too."
oooooo
Santana opened the stall door. "Shit," she ran towards Rachel, "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't think about the slushies." She started to help her clean. "This ends now. I'm going to make it clear to everyone that you're off-limits and that nobody touches Santana Lopez's girlfriend and keeps on living."
"No."
"What?" the Latina looked at her incredulous.
"I won't go far in the business if I give up at the first problem, will I?"
"Are you sure? I won't blame you."
"I'm sure…and when everything is over, I'll get my revenge," she smirked, "By the way, I heard Quinn ripping a new one at Finn for joining the Glee club."
"I'll admit that it was a brilliant idea."
"Did you have any doubts?"
"No, but I didn't expect it to work so quickly. All the school is already talking about your crush on Finn."
"Perfect. See you later at my place?"
"Sure, babe."
oooooo
"The plan is working. Quinn is so jealous and worried that something is going on between you and Finn that she is making us join your loser club, no offence."
"Do you need to tell me something Santana?"
"Why?" she looked at Rachel confused.
"I don't know. Every time we are cuddling after sex you start talking about Quinn. Excuse me if I start to wonder…"
Santana laughed. "Sorry, it's just the only moment when I can think clearly, you know, when my mind isn't invaded by thoughts of how much I want you, simply because my body is too tired."
"Nice save, Lopez, really smooth, too. So…you're joining Glee?"
"Yeah, Quinn wants to keep an eye on you and Sue wants us to spy and help her destroy the club."
"You know that I won't allow it, right? Because no project of mine will be a failure."
"I know, I know."
"Good. Now, I think it's fair to warn you that I'll be taking the flirting up another notch."
"Another notch? What are you going to do, have sex?"
"You'll see," Rachel thought about the 'Push it' performance that they were preparing. "But I'll assure you that after that Quinn will be in Glee in less than 24 hours."
oooooo
"What the hell!" Santana was pulled into a closet. "Rachel?" she whispered.
"Remember, no matter what happens in there, no matterwhat I say or do, you are the only one that I want."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Apparently I'm very good at eye-fucking Hudson, but I assure you it's not easy, he doesn't look anything like you…anyway, I really need to concentrate and I can't worry about you too."
Santana looked mildly offended, then baffled. "You try to imagine me when you look at Finn?"
oooooo
As soon as Santana set foot in her room, she was pushed against the wall by a hungry Rachel. They tumbled on to the bed.
"Rach?" she asked while kissing her neck.
"Make me forget," the girl whispered before capturing her mouth.
"Forget what?" she asked.
"Finn kissed me."
"What!" Santana leapt to her feet "How dare he! I'll kill him!" she began gesturing wildly.
"Calm down! This is your plan." Rachel caught her hands.
"Oh, right," she sat on the bed. "He kissed you," she repeated.
"Well, I may have encouraged him."
Santana raised an eyebrow and Rachel continued. "I prepared a picnic in the auditorium."
"I see," the Latina breathed deeply trying to control her jealousy. "What happened after?"
"After he…" Rachel trailed off seeing her girlfriend's jaw tightening. " He ran away asking me not tell anyone."
"And do you plan to say something?"
"No, it was just a kiss and I have no proof, but I already have another idea."
"Will you tell me?"
"Not before you make me forget everything…and it won't be easy."
"Oh," Santana crawled over her. "Was he that good?"
"Not really," Rachel smirked before kissing her.
oooooo
"What are you doing here?"
Rachel spat out the water and straightened up. "Washing my mouth. He kissed me. Again," she grimaced.
"How's it going?"
"Apparently he thinks that I'm completely stupid, that just because he asked me out I will fall at his feet and come back to Glee."
"You have to admit that 'Rachel Berry with a gold star' is pretty ingénue," Santana shrugs.
"And Rachel Berry without the gold star?"
"She is my genius girlfriend. Pretending to not know how to bowl…." She smirks.
"Well, guys love to show off…anyway, what are you doing here?"
"Trying to calm myself down and not kill Finn when he has his hands all over you," she answers calmly.
"Quinn?"
"She isn't here."
"What?" Rachel turns towards her, "Then what the hell am I doing here?"
"Don't worry. There are plenty of people who won't waste any time on reporting to Quinn. And even if nobody says anything, I'm pretty sure that we can count on Brittany letting something slip."
Rachel raises an eyebrow, "Such as?"
"Quinnie, we should go bowling! We had so much fun last night…and Rachel and Finn were there too!" Santana tries to imitate her best friend.
"Sometimes I think that that girl is a genius. At least far more intelligent than we give her credit for."
"And then she goes and says that a ballad is a male duck, and you just want to weep," the Latina agrees. "By the way, I'm really happy you are coming back to Glee, I miss you. And now I better go. I have to complain about how annoying 'Rachel Berry with a gold star' is," she says leaving the bathroom.
oooooo
"Puck offered me a slushie."
"What the hell is he doing, offering you a slushie instead of throwing it at your face?" Santana growled.
Rachel glared at her.
"Sorry, you know that I didn't mean it."
"Yeah," the brunette rolled her eyes. "Anyway, he thinks I'm a hot Jew and wants to get in my pants…why does everyone think I'm so easy, that just a date or a slushie will get me into their bed?"
"First of all: you are a hot Jew. Second: can I kill him? He is not part of our plan," she asked almost eagerly.
"I didn't get to kill him when he hit on you, so no, you can't kill him. Besides, it could make Hudson jealous."
"No. Rach, I don't trust Puck. It's not that he's a bad guy, but he only sees legs and boobs most of the time. He almost slept with Quinn at a party, who was completely drunk when I found them. And she is his best friend's girlfriend!"
oooooo
"You know, sometimes I wish you were a little more like Rachel."
"What?" Rachel looked at Santana confused.
"It's what Finn said to Quinn."
"The nerve of that guy! How can you say something like that to your girlfriend?" she asked, outraged.
"See why I wanted to break them up?"
"I saw it the first time I spent some time alone with him. How is Quinn?"
"Oh, you're worried about her! Isn't that cute?" Santana teased her.
"Santana."
"She is really fed up."
"I hope she'll leave him soon. He is really getting on my nerves."
"Me too. I can't wait to have my girlfriend back. Wait, what's that look for?"
"I hate to burst your bubble," Rachel began.
"But?" Santana made a face.
"But it would be suspicious if the day after Quinn and Finn broke up I showed up hanging on your arm, don't you think? And don't pout, it's not you."
Santana shoved Rachel causing her to fall off her chair.
"I think I prefer it when you pout," she stated massaging her bottom.
oooooo
"Hey Brit, you know how Quinn said that she was going to break up with Finn?"
A smile lit up the blonde's face as she nodded.
"Well, make sure to be with her, when she does it, but especially afterwards. She will be sad and you're the best person to cheer her up. I will be away during the break, so you could, I don't know, go to dinner, watch movies…." Santana continued.
"You're a manipulative bitch," Rachel whispered after Brittany left.
"Me? Look who's talking! Have you heard the new rumor? Apparently Finn invited you for a week-end away during the break."
"And what made you think that I'm the one behind that?" Rachel asked, innocently. "I'm going away, and certainly not with him."
"I don't know," Santana shrugged, smirking "Have you packed yet?"
"Oh yes! New York here we come!"
oooooo
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Rachel stated evenly.
"And why is that?" was the smug comeback.
The brunette closed her locker and turned around, eyeing the jock standing in front of her holding a slushie.
Then in one swift move she kicked his legs, sending him flat on his back, covered in frozen beverage. She put her foot on him, the heel pressed on his groin.
"Poor boy, look at you, beaten by a girl half your size. But I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything better from someone who needs to slushie people to feel important. What are you saying?"
"Heel. Hurt," he spluttered.
"Oh, this?" she asked adding more pressure and eliciting a howl of pain. " I'll tell you only one time. If you ever come near me or any member of Glee club, with less than civil intentions, what will happen to you will be ten times worse, understood?"
The boy nodded frantically.
"What's happening here?" Sue barked.
"Nothing, Ms. Sylvester. He slipped and spilled his drink, I was merely asking if he was okay," Rachel answered, before turning away.
Sue observed as the brunette purposely trampled on the jock's hand lying on the ground before walking away. "I like her."
"Me too," Santana murmured from behind her, smirking.
oooooo
"Jacob."
The boy jumped and backed away in fear. "R-Rachel, what can I do for you?"
"It seems that you have something regarding me."
"I don't know what you are talking about" he said while his eyes flashed in recognition.
"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about," she advanced towards him, "But I understand how business works and I want to propose a deal."
"A deal?" Jacob asked curious.
"You know, you give me that, and I give you something in exchange."
He leered at her, the tight jeans, the figure-hugging t-shirt.
"I suggest you think before speaking," she said, glaring at him.
"What do you have in mind?" he asked swallowing.
"For today, and I stress the today only part, you have permission to follow me. Keep your video camera ready. You'll know when it's the right time. Ok?"
He nodded, enthusiastic.
"And don't even think about fucking with me because you'll regret it," she added before walking away.
oooooo
"That girl was smoking hot, I couldn't believe it was Berry."
"And you still haven't seen anything," Kurt arrived in the room where all the Glee club was gathered except for Finn and Rachel.
"What?" "Why?" various voices asked.
He opened his laptop. "Look at this video on Jew-Fro's blog."
"Hey Rachel!" Finn exclaimed with enthusiasm, smiling widely.
"Finn," she greeted him, not looking at him but opening her locker.
"I called you during the break but you never answered me."
"I was out of city," she answered tersely.
"I see. So...since I broke up with Quinn…"
Rachel looked at him for the first time. "From what I know she broke up with you," she stated before returning to rummaging in her locker.
Finn opened and closed his mouth trying to formulate an answer. "Well, anyway, now I'm free."
"Good for you."
"I mean, now I'm free to date you."
Rachel slammed the locker closed. "I don't think so."
"Why?"
"Look, I'm not stupid. You used me. You kissed me while you were in what should have been a committed relationship. You exploited my supposed feelings for you to convince me to come back to Glee."
"You knew," he said, confused. "But it worked," he continued, smugly.
"Finn, I came back because I like Glee, not because you took me out for a date at the bowling alley while your girlfriend thought you were helping your mom. And anyway, this soon after the break up I would be a rebound and you should know by now that I'll never settle for second best," she concluded before turning away.
"Babe, what do you say about me showing you a real man?" Puck leered at her, leaning against the lockers.
"Thank you for the offer, Noah, but you are not my type."
"And what would your type be?" he stands up, not deterred.
"Well, for one I prefer my partner to have longer hair…you know, I love to pull it."
The video ended and Santana relaxed, seeing that the angle of the camera didn't catch the wink Rachel sent to her after her little stunt with Puck.
The room was left in a stunned silence. People looked at each other, trying to decide if they were more shocked by Rachel's allusion or by her rejection of Finn, and in such a manner too.
"Well, I suppose we won't see Finn in this room anytime soon," Mercedes stated.
"Left by the most popular girl at school and rejected by the most unpopular one," Kurt added.
"Way to blow a man's ego," Matt agreed.
oooooo
"Guys, we would like to tell you something."
Everyone stopped packing their bags, sat down and looked at Quinn, who was joined by Brittany.
"You all have been so nice to me, welcoming me into the group, supporting me especially in the last months…I…. Brittany and I are dating," she blurted out.
"Yes!" a shout interrupted the stunned silence and the Glee members looked at Rachel and Santana who, unaware of being observed, high-fived each other, before looking back at the two blondes.
"So...are you okay with it?" Quinn asked nervously: this group of people had become really important to her; they showed themselves to be real friends, never once throwing it in her face that she (and Rachel too, but she didn't think about that) made Finn leave, one of the original Gleeks.
Her question was answered with nods, smiles and variations of "yes" and "of course."
"Just out of curiosity, who asked out whom?" Rachel asked.
"Brittany did," Quinn blushed but smiled at her girlfriend.
"I knew it! You own me a dinner," the brunette said to Santana before hugging the two blonde cheerios. "Congratulations," she said and left the room.
"Thank you, Quinn," Santana groaned.
"Why are you thanking her?" Brittany asked confused.
"Because she made me lose a bet. I had faith in you," she shook her head teasingly. "And now I better go, before she chooses a restaurant that will break me."
"Strange…now, onto what matters: tell us everything, girls!" Kurt said, ignoring the unusual behavior of the two brunettes and what he thought he heard Rachel whispering: "That's a giant leap for Lima, a small step for the gay domination of the world."
oooooo
The Glee club was waiting for the last members and Mr. Schuester to arrive. They were taking advantage of the projector and watching some videos.
"This should be interesting" Puck announced, putting on something.
"What is it?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know, but the note says that it's for Rachel from Jew-Fro."
"Give it to me now," Rachel demanded.
"Sorry babe, too late," he said when the video started.
Rachel Berry first version, complete with high knee socks, argyle and everything appeared on the screen, from inside a school bathroom.
"You're only his second choice. You have always been and always will be his second choice."
Rachel looked at Quinn in the mirror. "Excuse me?"
"He would have never left me. He would have kept you around for fun, but he would have never left me for you. So don't get delusional ideas when he comes to you. It's only because I left him and - "
"Wait," Rachel interrupted the blonde and spun around. "Are you saying that you broke up with Finn? In an 'I left him and I'll never get back together with him' way?" she asked eagerly.
"Yes," Quinn frowned: she knew that Rachel would be happy, but she expected a bit of tact.
"Fuck yes!" the brunette exclaimed, grabbed Quinn's face and planted a kiss on her lips, before skipping out of the room.
"What the - " Quinn started asking herself when the door swung open.
"Please don't tell Santana," Rachel said, before disappearing again.
"I must be dreaming," Quinn muttered looking in the mirror.
Rachel stared straight ahead, lips pressed into a tight line.
"Come on, Rachel, you can't pretend nothing happened! One day you're so happy that Finn is free that you swear and the next day you show up dressed like a normal person and you don't even look at the boy you pined after for months. You owe us an explanation," Kurt said.
"I don't owe you anything," she glared at him.
"And what about the 'don't tell Santana' thing?" asked Mercedes.
"Don't tell Santana what?" the Latina entered the room drinking a slushie.
"That Rachel kissed Quinn," Puck answered.
"What the hell?" she crushed the cup in her hand.
"It's not like that," Rachel went towards her.
"Do you have a thing for cheerleaders?" Santana asked angrily.
Rachel took her by the shoulder. "Do you trust me?"
Santana swallowed and looked in her eyes. "Yeah," she sighed.
Rachel smiled slightly and took her hands. "Watch the video and then we'll talk, okay?" she squeezed Santana's hands, leading her to a seat. "Start the video again Noah. Now," she barked, no longer using the soft voice she used with Santana.
oooooo
"What is this mess on the floor?" Mr. Schuester asked.
"Santana had a fit of jealousy," Brittany answered evenly.
The Latina stopped talking to Rachel to look around. "Sorry, I overreacted. But first Finn, then Quinn, I'm sick of people kissing my girlfriend. Not to mention that now that the school has found out how hot she is, I'll have to fend them off with a bat."
"Girlfriend?" a different voice asked.
The two girls looked at each other, communicating with their eyes. "Yes, girlfriend. Do you have any problems with it?" Santana challenged them.
"Cool! We can double date!" Brittany clapped her hands.
"If you want," Rachel smiled.
"And we can give you some tips; we have a lot of experience."
"Quinn, Santana wasn't asking for tips," Rachel laughed at the blushing blonde. "Although if Finn did other things the way he kissed… I'm sure Brittany is willing to help you forget the whole ordeal."
" I was. We had great times trying to forget Finn" Santana agreed.
"Not that it was really needed, you were always on my mind" Rachel smiled at her girlfriend.
"But why waste a perfect excuse for more fun?" Santana wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Wait, wait, wait," Kurt interrupted the exchange. "If she was your girlfriend the whole time…Oh my God, she cheated on you!"
"She didn't!" "I didn't," they both shouted at the same time.
"Girls, calm down, please," Mr. Schuester spoke up.
"Sorry," Rachel apologized.
"Look. We know that you don't understand, but you don't need to. This is our business, and if I hear just one rumor about it…" Santana threatened them, standing up.
"We are touched that you are concerned about us, but really: let it go, please," Rachel said, before joining Santana to leave the room.
"I don't understand how she can say she didn't cheat. I mean, she kissed him for God's sake," Kurt exclaimed.
"Maybe Santana asked her to," Brittany said.
"What are you saying, Brit? That Santana asked her girlfriend to be all over Finn?"
"Yes!" the blonde confirmed, happy that they understood what she wanted to say.
The room fell silent.
"Good joke, Brit."
Everyone started laughing and they didn't see the two girls standing in the doorway.
Rachel looked at Santana before taking her hand. "I rest my case, that girl is a genius."
Thank you for reading, and if you want, let me know what do you think about my first Pezberry fic.