Standing over Erwin's hospital bed, Levi wondered at what point he'd become so weak. He never thought he'd apply that word to Erwin of all people, the commander of the scouting legion and the strongest man he'd ever personally met, but looking down on his still form it was obvious. Undeniable. It was a disgusting, unforgivable turn of events that the man Levi had followed into battle on countless occasions was now some weak and feeble thing.
His skin had never been particularly dark no matter how much time Erwin spent outside training but where there was once a healthy color there was now only a sickly white. It seemed to coat his face and make him look almost like he was made from wax, like a statue that would melt if it became too hot. His brow was covered in sweat, no doubt from his bodies attempt to replenish its blood supply and fight infection and simply live but it only served to make Erwin look even more inanimate. He looked like an expensive doll only those who'd been to Sina had ever seen, nearly perfect in its life like texture but still unnatural.
Reaching out, Levi brushed the matted blond hair from his superior's – his former superior's forehead. His knuckles barely brushed the other man's skin but he could still feel how simultaneously hot and cold he was. Such an odd sensation that it made Levi withdraw his hand immediately. It was as if Erwin was burning up inside, his temperature growing higher and higher as he struggled in the aftermath of his injury, his decapitation, but his skin was so thoroughly soaked with sweat that his exterior was chilled. Nearly freezing.
Levi momentarily considered fetching another blanket for Erwin but ultimately decided against it. Not out of cruelty or even for a sense of survival of the fittest but rather because he knew that his commander (his … friend?) wouldn't want his pity if he'd been conscious to voice his opinion. Despite how he now looked, Levi knew that Erwin was strong. Powerful. Determined. Surely he could pull through on his own?
His fingers twitched at his sides. He wanted to do something for Erwin, wanted to help him but much to his own horror, Levi was finding himself to be quite useless on that front. There was nothing he could do for him. He couldn't provide him more warmth because Erwin wouldn't have wanted that and he couldn't bring himself to wipe the sweat from Erwin's skin for fear of simply breaking the older man. He seemed so disgustingly fragile now that Levi was suddenly too scared to touch him.
Was this really the end, he wondered. Were they going to part ways now after all this time? Would he continue to fight against the titans intent on consuming all of mankind, perhaps become the commander in Erwin's place, while the former captain receded into the shadows to nurse his wounds? Would they ever speak to one another or even see each other again? The more Levi thought about the possible outcomes of this situation, the more upset he became. To make matters worse, he didn't even know how to handle these emotions. On one hand he felt despondent bordering on depressed, but on another there was rage boiling beneath the surface.
Levi wasn't sure if he should react with tears or with violence, but since crying was a luxury he swore to never allow himself he really only had one option here.
His body was numb as he reached for the pillow under Erwin's head. Would it not be merciful to simply end the mans life here, peacefully? Surely things could only get worse for him here on out for with only one arm Erwin couldn't fight. He couldn't even take care of himself after this, he'd need help just to get dressed in the morning. Would a mercy killing really be such an odd thing in this case, especially knowing how proud Erwin was? Levi's fingers trembled as he grasped the pillow but instead of sliding it out from beneath dirty blond hair, he merely fisted his hand in it.
The shift in pressure made Erwin's head slump to the side and finding himself looking down in the captain's upturned face proved to be too much for Levi. He caved.
Bowing his head, Levi pressed a chaste kiss to Erwin's lips and silently swore to stay by his side until the very end. He'd help him through this or die trying.
xxx
This was originally just going to be a practice one-shot but something is telling me to really flesh it out so there you go. If Levi nursing Erwin back to health and rehabilitating him was something you wanted to see then stick around because that's where this is going.