Merlin sat there staring at his useless leg and the equally useless book of shadows. He hadn't been trained to stand upon a battlefield as a soldier. Yet, when Arthur had called to arms every able bodied man, Merlin had not hesitated.
He had been blinded by old tales of glory and valiant knights. Each knight he had met had boasted tales of honor and displayed their battle wounds with great pride.
Pride; where was the pride in being the first fallen? Where was the pride in having your leg mangled for life? Where was the glory when there was a chance he would never have use of his leg again?
His book of shadows was as useless as his leg. No words were ever written about curing or mending broken bones and wounded pride. At least no magical words.
Gaius' medical books had words about mending, but that took time and time was the one thing one never had in abundance during battle. Especially in a battle where Arthur and the knights still fought and placed their lives at risk.
How could Merlin ever face those brave men again? He was a crippled coward and would be cast from the kingdom as soon as they returned. Perhaps Arthur would allow him a kiss and some time to heal before he was sent away.
Merlin prayed to whatever deity would spare him their ear that the war would end swiftly and that his punishment would be as swift.
Those thoughts spun in his fevered mind as the small battle raged on. Arthur and his knights emerged victorious and the young king swiftly made his way back to his kingdom. Anxious to see to the men who had fallen; especially Merlin. He had begged the man to remain behind, but the stubborn fool had insisted on remaining by his side.
"How does he fare, Gaius?" The king asked as he entered the small cottage where Merlin had once lived.
"Much better. The fever is lessening. Although, he is still quite delirious. He fears you will be asking him to leave the kingdom. I have tried to settle his fears, but I am afraid that my words cannot reach past the vale he is surrounded by. Perhaps you would have better luck, your majesty," Gaius explained before leaving the duo alone.
Once he was sure they were without company, Arthur placed a chaste kiss upon Merlin's brow. "It's time to awaken my stubborn sleeping beauty. The battle has been won and I have come to claim my fair maiden. Therefore, you must sleep no more. I crave the sight of your eyes and the sound of your voice. Awaken Merlin."
Merlin's eyes fluttered open and upon seeing Arthur they slammed shut. "I am sorry that I failed you. Please, I beg that you -"
Arthur placed his forefinger on Merlin's lips, shushing the young man. "I will not hear of such nonsense. I apologize for allowing you to come into battle and for getting you hurt. You are to remain here in bed, heal, and then return to the castle. When you are there, you will stand by my side, where your rightful place is."
"I will be a cripple. You need someone whole to stand by your side," Merlin said stubbornly.
"I deserve someone who will care about My Kingdom, someone who will rise up against me when my plans would lead to the downfall of my kingdom. I need you and I will have you. Rest now. I will return tomorrow to check on your progress." The young king ordered as he once again kissed the bed-bound Merlin before leaving.
Merlin settled into the bed and sighed happily. Perhaps his wound was in fact a badge of honor, like a rite of passage. At least Arthur seemed to think so, and that was all that mattered to Merlin.
~Fin~