"You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips and there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips. You're trying hard not to show it, but baby, baby I know it. You've lost that loving feeling, woah that loving feeling. You've lost that loving feeling now it's gone, gone, gone, woah."
Beca's fists clench, as she hears the Treblemakers perform. Jesse's not singing lead, and he's not looking in her direction. Nothing about the way that he's performing would indicate that there's anything wrong, but Beca knows. And she's kind of ticked that Jesse would even think about doing this sort of public declaration even if it is incredibly subtle.
It isn't until the audience is up on their feet cheering the boys after they've finished that Jesse makes eye contact with Beca, and she can't help but feel guilty because his eyes are bleeding apologies and hope and they're begging for her heart.
Beca walks toward the back. If this were a movie, she'd be running into Jesse's arms, but despite Jesse's hopes, this isn't a movie, and they're about to break up. They both know it.
Beca goes to the bar in the lobby, and orders a drink. As she sits on the barstool, she tries to recall the last time she felt truly happy with Jesse. She can't. She doesn't know when she stopped being in love with Jesse. She supposes it must have been one of those gradual things where there isn't a specific moment you can point to and say 'that's when it changed'. She struggles to find answers to questions that Jesse is sure to ask, but she doesn't have the answers.
It's a while before Jesse finally comes and finds her. Most everybody else has cleared out and gone to the many parties following the competition, which leaves them with a fair amount of privacy in a very public and open place.
Jesse's shoulders are slumped, and Beca can read the defeated glimmer in his eyes. She can feel the forced smile. Beca doesn't even notice when tears start to fall, but she sees the smile fade into a frown of genuine concern, and it makes Beca feel worse.
She never wished for this to happen. She doesn't want to hurt him, but since she can't will herself to be in love with him again, there's no way to avoid it. Even if she stays with him, she'll still be hurting him because she won't be present in the way he needs her to be, so she's got to let him go.
It still sucks though, because she doesn't want him to hurt. She doesn't want him to cry and she surely doesn't want to be the reason he's crying. Just because she's not in love with him doesn't mean she doesn't care about him because she does. So much. It's just not enough. It's like one of those tragic movie storylines that Jesse is so fond of. Jesse is her best friend, but he's not her soul mate or the love of her life. He's more like a brother than anything else, now that she thinks about it.
"I'm sorry," Beca whispers through her tears.
Jesse wipes them away. "I know," he says.
"I wish I could be your happy ending," Beca says.
"I know," Jesse responds.
She doesn't quite understand what's going on. The words haven't been said, but it's a mutual understanding that it's over between them. It has been for a long time. But Beca's breaking up with him and he's holding her, comforting her, wiping away her tears and she doesn't understand how he can stand there like he's not broken up about it like she knows he is.