The Odd One In
By: Seaside Precipice
Being ordinary really sucked.
There was nothing wrong with her, not really, but that was the problem – nothing wrong. There was no interesting story she could tell. In fact, she could easily sum up her entire life in one sentence: I was born in La Push, I grew up in La Push, and nothing interesting has happened in La Push, hence, nothing happened to me. That was it. Her life. It was so boringly depressing at times she would find herself watching actions movies for hours on end just for some excitement.
Many times she suspected she had a mood disorder, but really, other than being utterly bored, she didn't feel depressed, so any case of disorder, was out. Heck, who the hell was she kidding? Even if she had depression it wouldn't make her life more interesting, actually, she was glad she didn't have it, like any normal person should.
"If I walk into the boys locker room, think I'll get a date?" She asked, the words spilling out of her mouth randomly, but it was expected, normal. She didn't glance at her friend, who at the moment was stuffing her face with a sandwich she made from home since the cafeteria food always seemed to be past expiration date.
Her brunette of a friend, April, swallowed hard, before choking out a laugh. "If it does, I'm in right behind you, Kim." Kim didn't immediately respond, instead keeping her eyes locked on the boy's locker room, which, coincidently, happened to be right across from where the two were sitting – and even more coincidently, right in front of April's locker.
"If I get a date, think he'll notice me?" April hummed in contemplation, before taking another bite of her sandwich and chewing, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Kim considered herself lucky April remembered her manners that moment – the girl had a bad habit of eating with her mouth open.
"If you dressed as a chicken for a day, he probably would." She worded as she swallowed, and her answer brought a smile to Kim's face. Then, just to play along, she sighed dramatically, slouching her shoulders and pulled her knees up so that she could rest her elbow on them, and then her head in her hand.
"We'll have to go find a costume shop then," Kim said, successfully keeping her expression neutral. It was actually quite the struggle; the corners of her lip continued to twitch. Her efforts were rewarded though, as April laughed loudly, despite the food in her mouth, and managed to choke, coughing loudly and pounding her chest.
Kim laughed; so damn worth it.
"I swear, Kim, you really should have taken Drama, Mr. Philips would literally love you." April managed after she recovered, slightly. Kim's smile dropped from her face, before she looked out to the door of the boy's locker room.
"Acting is different than lying," she murmured, and April looked at her with a quizzical expression. Noticing this, Kim perked up, giving a bright smile that was most obviously fake. "See? I can't even smile fake…real…um," She broke off, and April looked on at her with an entertained expression. "I mean, I can't act a real smile."
"So smile for real then voila! Problem solved." April shook her head almost patronisingly, playing with the last bite of her sandwich in her fingers, the plastic wrap tangled in her thin fingers. "I still say you're a clown."
"When have you ever said that?"
"Some of the things I think I say are never actually said." April explained flippantly, tossing in the last piece of lunch in her mouth and untangling the plastic from her fingers. "Like you – you do it all the goddamn time. I think I might have gotten it from you."
"I don't say things?" Kim mused, leaning backwards, her back hitting the locker with a loud bang as the metal rattled. "No, I'm pretty sure I say everything I think."
"Not when it comes to Jared." Kim tensed immediately, before swinging her arm out and lightly hitting her friend's arm. April merely laughed and scrunched up the plastic wrap in a ball before tossing it into a nearby garbage can. "Literally, I swear, it's the only time I hear you talk like a normal person."
"What's wrong with the way I talk?" Kim frowned; April smiled.
"You're blunt."
"And you're stupid. What of it?" Kim shot back immediately, before realising who she was talking to and mumbled out an apology; "Sorry."
"Nah, See? You totally just proved me right."
"That you're stupid?"
April sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes for effect. "Fuck, no, now shut up, what I mean to say is that you talk without worrying about what other people think. It's refreshing. Or, at least, as long as your not calling me stupid."
"At least I didn't call you ugly."
"Huh?" April exclaimed, her cry sounding more like a squawk of a dying animal than that of a human being. "You think I'm ugly?" Well, no, that isn't what Kim thought at all, but if April thought that – which was slightly insulting – then Kim was going to make her sweat for a little while.
"Well, occasionally on those really bad mornings-"
"KIM!"
"You're fine! Okay? Really pretty." This seemed to finally placate her, as she settled herself back down next to Kim, a content sigh escaping her. Actually, it made Kim have the urge to take it back, just to see what April's reaction would be, but she decided against it. Hers and April's was a new relationship, being unnecessarily rude would just butcher it.
"Man," She groaned, "anyway, Jared. Right, girl-talk. Any progress?" Ah, the only taboo topic in Kim's dictionary. Jared, wonderful, sexy Jared, was right up there with… actually, no, he was right at the top. He was the only topic she didn't want to talk about, yet found herself doing so – a lot. Especially with April, who, at the moment, was dating a man in college, and had no interest in high-school boys. Rules out competition at the very least, she guessed.
"Nope." Might as well spill her guts, it wasn't like April was going to spread the word about it anyway; she just wasn't that kind of girl. At least, she didn't seem to be that kind of girl. It was hard to discern; her emotions were everywhere sometimes it was hard to judge where her loyalties lay.
"I thought you were going to say hi?"
"He left before I could find the courage for it." Yes, her, who was supposedly blunt to the point of rudeness, was unable to say hi to him, or, rather, bye to him, since it took all of her history class to pep talk her into it. Just say, 'well, see you tomorrow, Jared,' and try not to embarrassingly hyperventilate when you say his name. Really, it's beyond easy, so stop being such a fucking coward and say it, look! The class is ending soon – go! Start the beautiful relationship that will most definitely-
It was around there she realised he had already left.
That incident had promptly gone in her diary, which actually was more of a venting space when she didn't want to bother Laura, her best friend, or, more recently, April. Of course, that seemed to be a moot point now that she was going to tell April, which meant later on she would have to tell Laura, so the whole point in writing down such an embarrassing point in her life was for nothing.
As she told her brief little story to April, Kim had to admire how much of a better listener April was than Laura. Laura would probably be reading while she spoke, or drawing, or texting her cousin or her ex to leave her the fuck alone. Whatever it was, Laura would always be doing something while Kim spoke, but always seemed to know exactly what was said, so it was at least a little forgivable.
"I thought you were a role model. You so are not! The hell! So while you were talking yourself into talking to him, he left? Man! You really are pathetic when it comes to guys." There, Laura wouldn't have done that, which was probably why Laura was still her best friend, and April remained in the 'good friend' slot.
"It's harder when the guy you like is ignorant of your existence, April. Not all of us can have a boyfriend who's such a flirt he talks to every girl in existence." It was meant to be a jibe, but irrationally, April didn't take it as one, which left Kim, poor girl that she was, a little depressed that her vindictiveness had fallen so flat.
"Ah, yes, but he stopped at me, didn't he?" She winked, and Kim rolled her eyes, mirroring the effect April had so kindly done previously.
A loud shrill bell rang, and April jumped a little at its abruptness. Third period – History. April looked over with a mischievous glint in her eyes, before winking suggestively – an action which earned her another slap on her arm – before bouncing up and skipping off to class, "Good luuuck, Kimble!" She called, intelligently far away for when she used the nickname. She personally hated it, but not for any superficial reason. No, it was for a very good reason, and no one but Laura would ever know – not if she could help it, at least.
With a grunt low enough to be a small sigh, Kim stood, collecting her worn blue bag and slinging it on her shoulder. Jared, I'm going to see Jared, I'm so pathetically obsessed with him even I'm scared of myself. She thought to herself blandly, I hardly know him. I know I hardly have a chance, so I should just move on, find a guy that I can actually form a syllable without using a whole hour and half planning it out.
She had to stop by her locker first, she noted, pick up her textbook and doodle pad- uh, history notebook – and head to class, where she will sit next to him. Well, fuck. It would be easier to try and get over him if he didn't sit next to him.
Her feet reached her locker at the end of the hallway, exactly twenty-three lockers down from Jared – that information came over a collection of weeks; she didn't just go creepily count the number of lockers that were between them. No, of course not, because that was what pathetic people did, and while she may be pathetically boring, there was always a 'boring' after that. Boring could stay for as long as it wanted as long as it didn't disappear and only leave 'pathetic' behind. Nope, they were a pair, a glued, taped, sewn together duo. One didn't exist without the other, and she made sure of that.
She was no creep. She didn't listen to his breathing instead of listening to the lecture, nope. Course she didn't, because that was what pathetic, sad people did. She didn't watch his every movement when he walked in her sight, because that was considered eye stalking in her opinion. Nope, never did that either.
And she had just successfully succeeded in pathetically failing to lie to herself.
This was why she really needed to get out of La Push. Her entire life seemed to be consumed by Jared. Him. 'The One' – the one boy who seemed in the entirety of La Push who didn't know she existed. What cruel fates – literally. The one person whose attention she wanted the most, she had the least.
It. Made. No. Fucking. Sense.
She was sick of feeling like this, sick of it, but unable to stop it, because if he even so much looks in her direction, she would feel such immense happiness because, even if he wasn't looking at her, he could still – theoretically – see her. As the years went by – thought the feeling remained – her thoughts changed.
She was firmly certain that he, for whatever unfathomable reason, just couldn't see her. She didn't exist to him. He didn't see her, hear her, smell her… taste her… feel her…
Kim shook her head of the thoughts, as those were definitely not thoughts she could think if she wanted to keep her sanity in tact. It was possible, she figured, if she imagined Jared in that sense. Too much fictional eye candy can be really hard on a girl's senses.
She passed through the threshold of the classroom, and took her seat. It was easy; he wasn't there to screw with her sense of self. He wasn't there to make her feel insecure and shy.
Very, very strange.
While on a normal basis she was earlier than him, her small detour to her locker should have made him earlier than she – not that she was counting the minutes… seconds, okay, so she was, but that was more because she was counting down to when class ended. With a small sigh, she flipped her hair behind her dramatically, which made someone in the back snicker, so she finished her impromptu melodrama with a heavy sigh.
She leaned back, stretched, and spun around her, so she was facing said snickerer – that wasn't a word… hmm… she would have to read up on that, find the actual word for it, but that was for a later time. "What? Think I'm funny, Daren?" She asked lazily, making her voice drawl out in something of semblance to a southern drawl, though she knew she failed horribly, because the small kid behind her laughed loudly and began to point.
Daren was a small kid who, as it turned out, was actually a freshman, and for some strange – really, really strange – reason, decided to take History and English over the summer. And hello! He now sat behind her, via horrible bloody History teacher's seating plan. It wasn't that he was a particularly annoying kid, and she did appreciate that he laughed at her jokes, but it didn't seem… okay, so it really felt like she had just adopted a younger brother who liked to laugh at her.
She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at the kid, but he seemed to take this as another joke so she sighed in irritation and rolled her eyes so that they were facing front. A real frown touched her lips and brow then, as she noted that it was five minutes after class started, and Jared had yet to show up.
If he didn't hurry he was going to be late.
"Hey, Kim!" Daren hissed behind her. Kim waved her hand dismissively at the boy, trying to tell him not to bother him at the moment, because Jared – or, more accurately, the lack of Jared – was currently preoccupying her mind. "Kim!"
With an aggravated huff she spun around in her chair, and turned to glare at the lonely kid in the back. She expected his attention, in fact, was used to it – just as used to her lack of attention whenever Jared came to sit beside her. The kid learned to shut up then.
"What!" Really, Jared had yet to arrive, something could be seriously wrong with him! It was her time to worry. Belatedly she realised she sounded a bit harsh, so she bit out a 'sorry' to the poor kid who suddenly looked like she had kicked his puppy.
Or hamster, he didn't have a puppy.
"Can I copy your history homework?" He asked, and Kim raised an eyebrow. What a dumn kid. That homework took her an entire flipped hour, and he thought he could copy it in what, five minutes? Mr. Harbour may give them ten minutes to calm down, since history was after lunch, but more than five minutes-
Damn, she thought, the bloody puppy-dog look. She started at it, at how the kid's dark eyes suddenly seemed to get bigger and his small, pouty lips began to quiver. Where the hell had the kid managed to learn something like that, anyway? With a huff, she reached down and grabbed her worn out blue knapsack and heaved it onto her lap. She tugged at the zipper, pulling it harshly, and it jingled due to the three key chains she had attached to it. Finally, she won, the bag opened, and she reached in and pulled out her notebook, which, between the pages of mindless drawings, actually held completed homework and the seldom note. She tossed it to the kid in the back, and he let out a happy squeal.
Truth be told, she didn't exactly mind Daren talking to her, since it made her seem like she actually had a life outside of Jared – which she did, she just meant a life in history class. That, and she did feel sorry for him, being the youngest – and smallest – kid in class and no one to sit beside. (Mr. Harbour probably thought he was doing Daren a favour, by not putting him with all the scary, mean, upperclassmen).
Spinning back into her seat, she stared again at the clock. Jared had yet to arrive, and it was already eight minutes after the bell rang. Daren should hurry up to, if he wanted to get the homework done in time.
"You have so many friggen drawings on this page, Kim." She heard Daren hiss behind her, and she smiled in amusement.
"I got bored while doing it." She explained with a shrug, before freezing. She didn't – not in her doodle- History – book, would she? Usually it was only reserved for her diary, but… well… she did let her mind wander last night… oh boy.
She spun around, her leg getting caught in the desk and with her momentum, dragged it with her, sending the cheap tabletop to the ground in a thundering crash. She winced at the noise, and people around her laughed, and, before she knew what she had really done, she began laughing too. Daren was louder, however.
She picked her desk up, looked up to make sure that Mr. Harbour was merely watching with amusement and not with scorn, and set it back in place. Ah, she needed that – laughter was the best medicine after all-
Oh, right, she spun, this time making sure her leg didn't get caught in the table's leg, as she did so. No crashing tables, that was good. Daren was looking at her with amusement, actually, he was still laughing, which was probably forced, since her mirth had died down to a simple smile.
Quickly, she checked her page, her eyes scanning over the senseless drawings, and then she sighed upon realising that no where on the sheet lay her first name and Jared's last.
Thankfully, that was still a secret her diary kept for her.
"Alright, class, Kimberly," she grimaced when her teachers voice specifically mentioned her name. "Take out your homework; we'll check over it after I take attendance."
She quickly snatched the notebook away from Daren, and turned to face the front of the class, her eyes turning back to the door, expecting Jared to burst in at any moment, but… he didn't. Kim frowned, and almost missed when the teacher called her name out for attendance. She hastily raised her hand and called out 'here', but her eyes remained locked on the door. Where could he be? He didn't just skip – Jared never 'just skipped' – she did, but that was beside the point. He was probably sick, or something happened – something bad.
"Jared?" The teacher called, looking over to the seat beside her, "Kim, do you know where Jared is?" Ah, how she wished she did know, how much she wished she was privy to know, but she wasn't, so, instead of responding like she wanted, she merely shook her head meekly, looking down at her hands, which had unconsciously folded themselves on her lap.
"Hmm, anyone else?"
No one gave an answer, though many people would gave their guesses, none of them were accurate. Someone would have to text Paul, he would probably know, but Paul wasn't in this history class at all.
"He wasn't looking too good last period yesterday." Someone offered, "Actually, he wasn't looking good at all yesterday. He's probably sick."
"Hmm, well, absent it is, then." Mr. Harbour muttered to himself, before filling in the empty bubble next to Jared's name. He then continued on, calling out names because he was too lazy to look – or to make sure we were paying attention to him when he spoke, whichever.
Twelve minutes now, and Jared was officially absent.
Now she really worried for him, a simple cold or no.
"Jared," she whispered, settling her chin in her hand. Are you okay?
A/N: In the book, Kim is described as shy, but I've had enough of her being 'shy', I wanted her to be blunt, and well, odd. However, I DID keep her 'shy' aspect, but only put it in relation to Jared. Also, I read around, and realised that most authors gave Kim one friend. I thought that was pretty darn mean, I mean, this girl grew UP there, she should at least know people who talk to her, and should definitely have more than a single friend. So, I gave her a few, along with a personality I'm quite happy with. READ AND REVIEW!