Chapter One

It was a sticky hot New York night. The park was alive with live music, couples holding hands, and kids running around with ice cream cones. It was one of those evenings that never seemed to turn completely dark. The never ending days that melted into one after the other. Raph squinted his eyes, trying to focus and hold them open for just a little longer.

"I thought I would find you up here." Mikey said from behind his brother. Raph jumped and turned to face him. He was so distracted, he hadn't heard one footstep. This was Raph's routine now. He looked for her and looked for her to the point of delirium, then he'd sleep a couple of hours, train, and go looking for her again. He saw her face on every woman that walked down the sidewalk. It had been a year and a half since they had taken her from the farmhouse in upstate New York. How did he let them get her? He went over the relentlessly went over the night again and again in his head until he thought he'd fall apart. Why did he take his eyes off her?

Raph knew there would never be any sleep deep enough to make the screams disappear from his head. It all happened so quick…

It was late, probably around one in the morning. April and Raph were delirious from the lack of sleep. They had spent the evening together, drinking and making out like they were a couple of high schoolers hiding from mom and dad. It was perfect and peaceful. April was becoming sentimental in her drunken state and regaling Raph with her feelings for him and he was eating up every second of it. Then it happened. A crash downstairs, like the front of the house got bulldozed through. The Foot had found them; they were all caught completely off guard. Raph hid April in her closet in the little trap door behind her clothes. And he ran to help his brothers. He was an easy defeat, too due to all the alcohol. There was so many of them and the turtles were fighting them off as best they could, but they couldn't keep them at bay. They made their way through the house. It was time to abandon ship. The guys put their escape plan into effect. April had her way out through the trap door to the outside. Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey, Splinter, and Casey all made their way out to the woods. As they ran, they heard the worst sound they could imagine. They all stopped dead in their tracks.

"Raph!" April shrieked, she screamed before her screams were muffled.

Raph took off and Leo grabbed his arm, "You can't take them all on, Raph. They'll kill you before you can get your hands on her."

"I may never find her again, Leo!" Raph growled and then he heard a vehicle squeal away. Raph ran, but it was too late. They were gone, "No, April! April!"

"Raph, you have to come home and get some sleep." Mikey interrupted his thoughts again.

"I'll sleep when she's in my arms again." Raph mumbled with no emotion. He had become more and more numb and out of reach each day he didn't find her.

"Raph, please, come back. Leo and Donnie are worried, too."

Raph snarled, "Leo wasn't too concerned the night he let them take her, as if finding the Foot would be easy. I should have just gone after her. Now, here we are and I still can't find her… I can't stop, Mikey. She's all I think about. I just want to think about something else for one single second. I actually feel myself going crazy. I know I'm close to that edge and if I don't find her, I'm gonna fall off. I won't be worth anything in my life again if I don't have her back because she has become my reason for everything."

Mikey had never seen Raph so broken, but he was a small as someone could be. He had lost the only love he had ever known and would probably ever have. No one wanted to the actually think of the possibility that April was no longer alive anyway. But it had been so long, that the brothers feared they would soon lose Raph to a broken heart. He didn't take care of himself anymore. He barely ate, he drank a lot, and he worked out until his muscles felt like breaking. Mikey was truly afraid Raph wouldn't last much longer and he would lose his other best friend. He loved Donnie and Leo, but Raph was his closet brother and April knew everything. Mikey confided in her about whatever was on his mind, girls, love, sex, anything and she was gone.

"If you get caught up with the Foot in this state, they'll kill you and then who will save April?" Mikey argued crossing his arms in triumph because he knew that was the winning argument.

He eyed Mikey and sighed in defeat, "Fine, I'll go sleep for a while, but then I'm coming right back out."

"Yeah, yeah, and I'm coming with you." Mikey said following Raph off the rooftop.

They made their way to the lair and Raph acknowledged no one as usual. He sat at the kitchen table and acted like he was going to eat something and go to bed. Casey walked through the door and made his way to the kitchen.

Raph's eyes perked up, "Anything, Case?"

Casey firmly shook his head, "I'm sorry, Raph. No sign of her."

Raph's heart fell and he piddled with his food.

"We'll keep looking." Leo stated, "We'll find her."

Raph shook his head, "How much longer are we going to act like we're not all thinking the same thing? It's been a year and a half. The Foot wouldn't keep her alive for that long for no reason and they wouldn't just let her go."

"Don't say it, Raph." Mikey pleaded like a puppy.

"Mikey, grow up!" Raph shouted as he pounded his fists on the table, "April is gone! That's all there it to it!"

Mikey sank back like a scolded child. He was holding back tears at the thought of Raph losing faith in April.

"Stop it, Raph!" Leo shouted at his brother, "You're just talking like that because you're exhausted. Just stop. You don't believe that, I know you don't."

"You don't have a fucking clue, Leo! She is gone. No one wants her to be alive more than me, but we can't keep pretending she's going to walk through the door in her yellow jacket, smiling, ready for movie night! She's dead!"

Leo got close to Raph's face in a challenging manner, "Don't you ever say that, Raph! If that's what you believe, then she really is dead and you never deserved her in the first place. Quit acting like you're the only one who deserves to feel broken over April! You may have won her heart, but you aren't the only one in love with her!"

The room came to a complete stand still. Mikey's jaw hit the table and Donnie actually looked up over his glasses from what he was tinkering with.

"Okay, let's back up, guys." Casey said putting his hands between the two brothers. He could see the rage growing in Raph's tired eyes, "We're all tired, hurt, and ready to rip a piece of shit to shreds over April. Let's just take a step back before we do something that we'll regret."

"Leonardo, Raphael!" Splinter's voice slashed through the tension, "Stop the fighting! I will not stand for my sons turning on each other. I want everyone to sit down, eat, and get some sleep."

Raph snarled at Leo once more, "I lost my appetite." And he turned and left the lair again.

"I'll go keep an eye on him. He may pass out on a rooftop somewhere." Donnie said as he got up and followed Raph out the door.

The night finally had cooled off a little after the sun completely disappeared. Raph made his way to the rooftop that was across the street from where April's apartment used to be. For a long time, nothing replaced the old building that burned down, but now it was a typical corner drugstore. But what it used to be is what brought Raph peace sometimes. He knew Donnie was lurking nearby, but he didn't care right now. He propped his chin on the wall of the roof and began to doze off as he stared at the drugstore. Then something caught his attention. Something moved on the drugstore roof. He blinked to clear his eyes. At this point, he couldn't tell if it was real or his lack of sleep. He was almost positive someone was on top of the roof. Raph jumped up and made his way across the street in the dark, making sure to not be seen by anyone. He quickly climbed up the fire escape and quietly hopped over the edge. There was someone standing across the roof. It was a woman. Raph's heart leaped into his throat. He began walking towards the figure and he kicked something on the ground causing her to turn around. She gasped when she saw him.

He knew those eyes anywhere. Sparkling even in the dark, her hair was shorter and her figure looked different somehow, more muscular maybe, but it was her. It was April. She backed away from him and he could tell she was trying to decide if she should run or not.

He panicked, "April, please. It's me. Raph."

"I know who you are, Raph. You need to stay away from me. If they're watching me... I shouldn't have come here. I should have known you'd be around." She said with regret in her voice steadily backing away from him.

"What are you talking about? Who, April? Come home, babe. I can protect you." Raph begged.

"I don't need protection. It's up to me to protect you now. I have to go."

"April, don't-" But she disappeared over the edge of the roof before he could stop her. He looked over and she was already on the ground and running down the sidewalk.

Raph's mind was reeling. What the hell had just happened?

"Raph, what are you doing over here?" Donnie asked as he hopped over the edge of the roof.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Donnie."

Raph busted through the door with more excitement and life than had since April was taken. Everyone was still up and Casey was still hanging out.

"Where's the fire?" Mikey asked when his brothers came home.

"I don't know. He wouldn't say anything until he could tell us all." Donnie replied and sat on the couch.

"What's up, Raph? You look like you've seen April." Casey said sarcastically and he realized that's exactly what happened, "Raph, are you serious?"

"I saw her." He confirmed, "She's alive!"

Everyone jumped to attention and Raph recounted his brief surprise meeting with April.

"But there was something different about her. I could tell she's been training. Her body was completely different and she got off the top of that building the way we do." Raph explained.

"And she said she was protecting you?" Leo questioned.

"I think by 'you' she meant 'us'." Raph said motioning to all of them.

"Can you believe it? After all this time, Angelcakes is alive." Mikey practically cooed.

"Now, we just have to figure out how to find her again." The red turtle pointed out.

"But at least we know she's a live for us to find, Raph." Leo said patting his brothers shoulder and for the first time, Raph didn't look at his brother in disgust, but with some kind of hope, "We'll get it figured out."