I just completed a challenge called "12 Days of Ichigo Torture" at the LiveJournal IchiRuki community; this is the result. Most of these were very rushed, and none were beta read. There will be 14 individual drabbles and ficlets total (I got double-bunnied on two of the prompts), and I apologize ahead of time if I'm spamming anyone's inbox. I debated posting these here, but figured why not. I kind of like how a few of them came out, and it was fun writing Ichigo for a change.

In other words, this is mostly to prove that I'm still alive and writing! At least a little. 8D And I couldn't think of a better title, so I apologize for the tackiness. LoL.

Hope you enjoy! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. :3

Disclaimer: Bleach and all affiliated characters and settings are the creative property of Kubo Tite and all companies holding title to its distribution. Used for a non-profit entertainment purpose.

Warnings: Some strong language, spoilers for current manga arc (with some straying from the actual story line in order to fit the prompt, shame on me!).

July 4 Prompt: Guilt Trip

Suicidal

It isn't so much the fact that he knows he's fucked up badly. That much is entirely obvious to him the moment Ulquiorra taunts him with Rukia's death. If he hadn't come barging into Hueco Mundo without so much as a word of explanation to why he thinks she never should have followed, she never would have had to die.

It makes him wonder if it's worth it, especially once he sees that Orihime is not only physically well, but mentally prepared to stay exactly where she is. She's made up her mind, now at the cost of at least Rukia's life. That is, if Ulquiorra isn't simply trying to get under his skin. He sincerely hopes that such is Ulquiorra's intention, but he has his doubts.

Every moment spent dwelling in this room is a moment spent away from Rukia's side. If Rukia isn't already dead, she might be dying; and if she's dying, Ichigo wants to be there with her. Either way, Ichigo hates himself a little more for the fact that he's started this by not keeping a closer eye on Orihime in the first place, or making sure Rukia never stepped foot in Hueco Mundo. He wants to be with her if she is breathing her last, even if it means she can berate him for being a first-class idiot. The fastest way to her side is through the Espada he currently faces.

Ulquiorra is taunting him again when he turns to leave, and this time, Ichigo knows that Ulquiorra never intended for him to leave without a fight. If Rukia is truly dead, perhaps the outcome doesn't matter so much anymore.

And if that is the case, Ichigo has nothing left to lose.