AN: Yes there really is a town in Arizona called Naco, and no there isn't a Bueno Nacho it in. How do I know this? For those of you who are wondering well lets just say that much like the donkey show you have to see it to believe it. And yes the title is a play on the episode titles from Kids Next Door.
KIM POSSIBLE: OPERATION N.A.C.O.S
Not
Another
Comedic
Original
Story
or
NASA
Aircraft
Capture
Operation
Shego
I.
Drakken eagerly rubbed his hands together as he waited, waited for the semi-trailer truck which contained both his best henchman, Shego, and the final component which would bring his latest plan forward to completion. As Drakken waited for his prize, he was soon surprised by the sensation of someone tapping on his shoulder. Turning to face the person who was doing this insistently tapping, Drakken was surprised to see a short, dark skinned man wearing a sombrero.
"What do you want?" Drakken asked.
"Senor, would you like to see the show tonight?"
"The show?"
"Si, the show."
"Ahh, what kind of show?"
"The donkey show senor."
"Wha? What do you mean a donkey show?"
"Senor, tonight, we have a show that people come from far and wide to see."
Drakken stared at the man for a moment as his mind attempted to make sense of what he had just been told. The only donkey of any renown that he knew of was that one in the ogre movies that were currently popular. Obviously some sort of cheap rip off by someone who didn't care about copy right laws. He was about to say as such when his attention was pulled away by the sound of a semi-trailer truck approaching.
"Ahh my business partner approaches. Now go away you annoying little man, I have more important things to do than see some show with donkeys."
The semi-truck produced a small cloud of dust while its brakes squealed in protest as it brought the vehicle to a stop. No sooner had it stopped moving that the door opened and out hoped the driver.
"Shego, I trust you got the equipment I wanted." Drakken asked as his beautifully deadly plasma generating world class thief and henchman.
"Well duh. When you send me on a task I complete it. That's how I get paid." Shego answered sarcastically. "Now tell me why we had to drive all the way out to El Paso, Texas. Break in to the military base there, steal a small rocket, and then drive all the way back here?"
"Ahh Shego, you just don't understand do you."
"No. But considering how poorly thought out your plans usually are, thats no different than usual."
"Shego!" Drakken shouted in obviously audible annoyance before calming down. "Come with me and I'll show you why you stole what you stole."
Shrugging her shoulders in disinterest, Shego followed her boss to the back of the tractor trailer truck and watched as he opened the doors.
"Behold."
"Uh huh, its a small rocket, just like before." Shego deadpanned.
"Tsk tsk tsk. Shego you just don't see the big picture do you."
"Why should I? You never do."
"Well this time let me amaze you with my forethought." Drakken said with obvious delight as he approached the so called rocket nose cone. "I have predicted that NASA will test their new hypersonic plane and it will fly over this area, and when they do I will shot it down and capture its new advanced engine." Drakken laughed with glee.
"OK, first of all if you shot down a plane won't that wreck the engine, and secondly, how do you shot something down that goes like eight times the speed of sound?" Shego asked, not entirely sure if she really wanted to hear the answer.
"Yes the engine may be damaged, but I don't care."
"You don't?"
"Nope."
"Then why bother to steal it? I could have done that for you while it was still sitting in the hanger."
"Because Shego, I don't want the engine, I just want to ransom it back to NASA since they'll be scared that someone else might get it and reverse engineer it."
After pondering that one for a second, Shego had to admit that plan actually made some sense. "Okay, I'll give you that. But you still haven't explained how your going to shoot it down."
"With this!" Drakken said while planting a small kiss on the item that Shego had stolen. "I give you the final component of operation NACO."
"Operation NACO?"
"Yes NACO. NASA Aircraft Capture Operation," Drakken answered as though he was explaining things to a five year old. "You see this is no mere rocket my dear Shego, this is actually a Sprint missile from the cold war. This missile is designed to travel at ten times the speed of sound, fast enough to hit our little NASA plane."
II.
"Whats the sitch Wade?" Kim asked in her usual no nonsense way as she answered the Kimunicator by the second beep.
"Got a hit on the web site Kim. Apparently Drakken has stolen some sort of rocket from a military base.
"Rocket? Isn't death rays more his thing?" Ron asked.
"Maybe so, but they confirmed it was Shego who stole it." Wade answered.
"Where there's Shego, there's Drakken," Kim conceded, "You got a ride set up for us Wade?"
"Already on the way. They should be there in in a few minutes."
III.
A few minutes later, the plane that was providing the ride for Kim landed in her front yard. While this might have been considered unusual in any other normal neighborhood, in Middleton, and in Kim's part of town particularly, things like this were all taken in stride. Clambering aboard the aircraft, Kim and Ron were greeted by the pilot.
"Greetings Mrs. Possible, I'm Major Flack, it's an honor to be flying you today." The military man said with a salute.
"Thats an interesting name." Kim said diplomatically.
"Yes it is Miss Possible. Probably why its pretty rare that I get willing passengers to ride with me."
"Hey wait a second, I think I've heard of you before." Ron said.
"You have?" Asked the perplexed pilot.
"Yeah in history class. They said that flack was used to shot down airplanes. Oh no, its a bad omen! Kim, I'm not getting in this plane." With that Ron defiantly crossed his arms in protest.
Several minutes later.
"Thanks for letting me borrow your duct tape, I'm just sorry I had to use the whole role."
"Thats quite alright Miss Possible, it was for a good cause. Speaking of causes, maybe you should go and check on your friend back there?"
Nodding her head in agreement, Kim stepped to the back of the plane in order to placate her best friend. "Relax Ron, the flight is almost over and no one has tried to shoot us down." Kim said with a reassuring smile.
"Mmph, mhhmp."
Not understanding what he was trying to say, Kim had Rufus yank the duct tape off of his owners mouth.
"OW! Kim! I am so vexed at you right now."
"Sorry Ron, but it was the only way to get you on the plane."
"Put did you have to use the whole role?" Ron asked as he indicated towards his body. "I look like mummy."
After landing, Kim thanked the pilot as she and Ron began to descend to the tarmac below.
"No problem Miss Possible, its not everyday that I get willing passengers to ride with me."
"Whys that?"
IV.
After landing at the airfield, Kim and Ron were soon meet by several Army officers.
"Greetings Miss Possible. I'm General Samuel Anthony Miguel, you can call me General SAM. I'm the commander of this base."
"Thank you General SAM. What can you tell me about the theft?"
"Last night Miss Shego broke in to our base here and stole one of our rockets."
"Just one rocket?" Ron asked, "Was it some sort of new experimental rocket?"
"Thats the strange part. She passed up our THAAD missiles, or new PAC4 missiles, even our new ultra light radar system."
"Then what did she steal?" Kim asked.
"She stole an old Sprint missile."
"A what?"
"Miss Possible, I have an appointment with General Hawk in Washington. My aide Captain Fyrtio Dagdriveri Dagdriveri Bofors will be able to fill you in on the rest of the details."
"Firto Dagdriver Driver... What kind of name is that?" Ron asked not even bothering to acknowledge that he had messed up the man's name.
"It's Fyrtio Dagdriveri Dagdriveri Bofors. I'm an exchange officer from Sweden."
"Sweden, cool, your just like the Swedish chief. Bjork bjork bjo..."
Kim quickly covered Ron's mouth to prevent any further inane comments from coming out of it.
"Ignore him," Kim suggested. "By the way, what sort of meeting does General SAM have thats so important?"
"General Hawk is his brother, they have a tee time scheduled for 1600 hours today." Captain Bofors replied.
Moments later, Kim and Ron found themselves standing in front of an empty slab of concrete as Captain Bofors showed them the crime scene. It was an older part of the base that was wide open and consisted of a few buildings surrounded by several slabs of concrete with various vehicles, missiles, rockets, and other weapons sitting around.
"You keep all of your missiles out here in the open?" Ron asked.
Captain Bofors shook his head no. "These aren't our operational missile systems. This is the air defense historical museum. Everything you see out here is old and obsolete equipment, and not a single one of them work."
V.
"OK Dr. D, the missile is in place. Now can we get on with this?" Shego asked sounding rather bored.
"All in due time Shego. First I must align the missile along the projected flight path, then I must calibrate the radar and make sure that..."
"Excuse me senor, but the invitation is still open. Tonight at 10pm." The Mexican man with the sombrero interrupted Drakkens's rambling.
"Not you again!" Drakken exclaimed, "Shego, get rid of him!"
Lobbing several plasma bursts towards the man, Shego quickly sent the uninvited pest running for his life as he muttered something in Spanish about his father telling him to never trust a Gringo.
"What was that all about Dr. D?"
"That annoying little man keeps asking if I want to attend some sort of donkey show tonight."
"Donkey show?" Shego asked incredulously.
"Yes a donkey show. Obviously some sort of cheap rip off of that ogre movie thats popular right now." Drakken explained dismissively.
Shego began to open her mouth to tell Drakken that he was wrong, again, but thought better of it and quickly shut it. Explaining just how she happened to know that particular tid bit of information would have opened up a whole can of worms that she really didn't care to have to explain. Ever.
VI.
"So let me get this straight, Shego steals a missile from the Army for Drakken and drives off with westward with it, but the missile is a mock up from their museum, so it won't work," Kim summarized the situation, "Spanking. Drakken must be rubbing off on Shego, now she's the one who's defeating his plans." Kim smiled at the prospect of getting to spend her weekend shopping with Monique instead of chasing down Drakken and Shego. "Wade, can you set us up with a ride home?"
"Are you sure you want to do that Kim? I managed to track down Drakken and Shego, and I think I know what they are up to."
"What could they possibly be doing with a fake missile?"
"Remember Drakken stole it because he thought it was a real missile, a Mach ten capable missile," Wade paused for a second as his imagine on the Kimmunictor was replaced by a map of the southwestern United States as a line was drawn across it. "This is the flight path of NASA's new Mach eight plane, it passes right over Drakken's current location, a small town in Arizona called Naco."
"Naco!" Rufus cheered.
"There's a town named after my favorite food in the world. This must be provenience." Ron shouted in glee.
"You mean providence" Kim corrected.
"Come on Kim, we have to go there. I bet they have a better Bueno Nacho than Go city does."
"Why? Just so you can get some fast food."
"Kim, its not just fast food, its the naco. Besides, we still need to stop Drakken."
"Kim, Ron's right." In his own unique way." Wade said.
"He is?" Kim and Captain Bofors asked at the same time.
"Afraid so. Drakken may have messed up and grabbed the wrong missile this time doesn't mean he won't try again." Wade interjected.
VII.
"Ron, remind me again how did you talk me in to this?" Kim asked as they boarded Major Flack's plane for the second time that day. "I could be spending the day shopping with Monique."
"Come on KP, you know it's the right thing to do."
"In order to stop Drakken and Shego, right."
"Umm yeah sure thing KP."
"Ron! Your not planning on trying to sneak off and find a Beuno Nacho when we get to Naco are you?"
"Well..." The rest of Ron's sentence died as he saw the glare that Kim was giving him.
"Right, stopping Draken and Shego comes first KP." Ron sighed in defeat as they entered the plane's cockpit.
Thirty minutes later.
"Miss Possible, we're nearly over the drop zone." Major Flack announced, "My crew chief in the back will help get ready for the jump."
Kim nodded to the pilot as she began to make her way to the back of the plane. "Come on Ron." Once to the back of the plane she found a rather buff looking female Puerto Rican wearing an OD green tank top shirt.
"Hello, I'm Sergeant Rock-Ette, I'll be helping you get ready for your jump." The well muscled woman said as she easily lifted a parachute in each hand.
"Whoa, you're buff. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?" Ron asked.
"No, have you?" Sergeant Rock-Ette responded without missing a beat as she tossed a parachute to each of the teen heroes.
Ignoring the insult, Ron quickly donned his parachute and stood next to the door, "Come on KP, lets go." He shouted as he got ready to jump.
Ron must have nacos on the mind, he never wants to jump before I do, Kim thought to herself. Either that or he is scared of Sergeant Rock-Ette.
"Hold on there stud." Sergeant Rock-Ette said, "I need to do a double check on your chute." After a quick inspection Sergeant Rock-Ette confirmed that Ron's chute was good to go and she proceeded to shove him out of the plane with a slap on his butt.
Kim stood there speechless for a few seconds before finally gathering her thoughts. "Don't even think about doing that to me."
"Wouldn't dream of it, your not as cute as your boyfriend there."
"But he's not my boyfrriiieeeennnnndddddd!" Kim shouted as she was like wise shoved out of the plane.
VIII.
After landing, Kim suggested that they split up to cover more ground and attempt to find Drakken. Ron heartily agreed to this plan if only because it gave him a chance to scout out the Bueno Nacho that he knew had to be here.
It was during his reconnaissance that Ron found something alright, but it wasn't a TexMex restaurant.
"Senor, would you like to see the show tonight?"
Ron looked at the short man who was wearing a ridiculously large sombrero.
"What kind of show?" Ron asked.
"The donkey show."
"Donkeys. Oh, it must be an animal show then. Coolio."
"Si, an animal show." Replied the Mexican man wearing the sizable and silly looking sombrero.
IX.
Meanwhile, a certain green eyed woman watched her target with complete and total focus as she prepared to pounce. Patience, patience. Now!
With lighting fast reflexes, Shego's hand shot out and snagged the last sandwich even as Drakken's fingers were millimeters away from it.
"Ahh victory." Shego smirked.
"Shego! I wanted that sandwich." Drakken complained.
"Well you should have been faster then."
As the two villains continued to bicker like a brother and sister, they were soon interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Well well well, looks like I interrupted lunch."
"Impossible." Drakken shouted.
"No, Kim Possible." Kim corrected.
Jumping from his chair, Drakken raced to a laptop computer and pushed a few buttons before addressing the teen heroine.
"You're too late Kim Possible." Drakken shouted as his computer displayed a twenty second count down. "There are only twenty seconds left until NASA's new aircraft is in range of my missile, and when the computer reaches zero it will automatically launch the missile and there is nothing you can do to stop it."
Seeing that she couldn't get past Shego and to the control panel before time ran out, Kim pulled out her hair dryer grappler and fired it.
"Ha you missed princess." Shego laughed as she ducked out of the way.
"Wasn't aiming for you." Kim grinned as the grappling hook wrapped around the missile's nose cone. With a hard yank Kim was able to rotate the missile until it was facing directly towards Drakken.
"Oh snap!" Drakken shouted.
Shego looked at the scene before her in surprise. "Isn't that a bit violent for you pumpkin?"
As for Drakken, he simply stood there in shock and watched as the timer continued to count down. As it finally reached zero Drakken screamed like girl in anticipation of the rocket launching towards him. After several seconds he opened his eyes to see that the missile was still sitting there on its launcher, no flame, no smoke, nothing.
"Wha!? I, I don't understand, what happened?"
"Oh yeah Drakken, about that. It turns out that missile that Shego stole for you, well it doesn't work since its a fake. So you're plan was doomed from the start." Kim said with a smile.
"I stole a fake missile?" Shego asked incredulously as Kim just stood there and smiled. "Oops, my bad."
"Shego!" Drakken bellowed, "Your contract clearly states that failure to deliver requested items will result in no payment."
"Hey I brought you your stupid missile, no where in there does it say anything about it being functional." Shego retorted as she pulled out a copy of her contract from somewhere in her skin tight cat suit.
"Check it again Shego." Drakken suggested. "Annex B, appendix C, section D, page 5, paragraph 6, subparagraph 7, states that failure on your part to recognize and attempt to correct any errors or discrepancies on your part before the plot fails due to aforementioned mistake will result in denial of payment for services."
Shego's eyes began to rapidly read over the text of the document as she searched for the part that Drakken had just quoted, and soon found them.
"Well he's got you there."
"Gah, where did you come from?" Shego asked in surprise as she noticed that Ron was reading over her shoulder. She didn't know what annoyed her more, the fact that he was able to sneak up on her, or that he was reading her contract.
"Oh don't mind me." Ron replied with his usual goofy grin.
"But I do mind." With that Shego ignited her plasma and lobbed several blasts in Ron's direction causing the teen to take off running around a building.
"So Shego, since you not getting paid, are you going to come along quietly or do I have to take you down?" Kim asked.
"Oh you could try all you want princess," Shego said with a shrug. "But since I'm not getting paid then I'm blowing this joint. Later losers."
"Wait Shego, don't leave me, we can renegotiate your contract." Drakken pleaded.
"Umm, no." With that Shego shot several plasma bursts in to the ground causing her figure to be obscured by the dust. Kim rushed towards the dust screen hoping to catch the woman, but she was already gone. Turning her attention back towards Drakken, Kim saw that he like wise was taking advantage of the distraction to make his get away. However, he only ran a few dozen yards when he ran in to Kim's distraction, namely Ron Stoppable as he rounded a corner. The resulting crash was a tangle of legs and arms that allowed Kim to leisurely arrest the blue hued villain.
X.
A short time later, several Global Justice agents placed Drakken in to the special "paddy wagon" they had brought along. However, they were disappointed that the one person they had designed the vehicle for was not there.
"I'm sorry Dr. Director, but Shego got away, again." Kim lamented.
"Thats okay Kim, at least we have Drakken in custody, and I suspect that Shego will keep a low profile for a while. She probably went to ground in Mexico."
"Lucky her, she gets to watch the animal show." Ron complained.
"Animal show?"
"Yeah, there was this little Mexican guy with a huge sombrero hat telling me about some sort of donkey show tonight in Mexico."
"Si, the donkey show is tonight at 10pm." The afore mentioned Mexican man with the seriously sizable and still silly looking over sized and drooping sombrero said.
While Kim could only roll her eyes in disbelief, Dr. Director however, had a slightly different look on her face. In her mind, and she hoped like hell their were no mind readers around, Betty recalled a night from several years ago involving a trip to Mexico, a young woman, to much tequila, and a show.
"What? Have you seen the show?" Ron asked. "Is it any good?
"Uh, no! No its not. Trust me Ron, you don't want to see it." Betty stammered.
"I guess you have seen it then."
"Umm, I'm afraid that kind of information is on a need to know bases."
Meanwhile, south of the border, a decidedly dangerous, pretty yet pale, calm and confident woman sat in a worn wooden chair with her feet propped up on the equally worn table. Ignoring the drunken cat calls and hollering that were directed towards the stage outside of the cantina, she brought the bottle to her lips again as she to recalled a night in this very town, several years before she became the infamous criminal that she was today, involving another woman, to much tequila, and a show. Placing the bottle back down, Shego muttered "ahh crap, I swallowed the worm again."