This is most likely the only fic for this fandom that I will ever do, so I figured I might as well post this on all my accounts.
btw I left the dialogue purposefully ambiguous. Anyways, enjoy!
JohnDave – 100% Heterosexual
Fandom: Homestuck
Character(s): John Egbert, Dave Strider
Pairing(s): JohnDave
Word Count: 442
They were having a broment. Yes, that's what it was called when you were cuddling with your best friend. Just completely platonic, entirely heterosexual cuddling between bros. Male bonding, that's what it was.
Also, there was a power outage, it was fucking freezing, and neither John nor Dave wanted to freeze their nuts off. So, they did the sensible thing and decided to share a bed for the night. It definitely wasn't just an excuse to huddle up with each other. No, absolutely not. What a ridiculous idea.
The entanglement that was their bodies was just to better share body heat.
"Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker!"
"What?"
"Your feet are freezing!"
"Well, sorry, but it's not like I can help it! Yours aren't the warmest either!"
"…"
"…"
All was silent and the two completely straight boys began to drift off. Until…
"Dude, where is your hand?"
"Huh? Uh, nowhere?"
"'Nowhere' meaning my ass?"
"I-It was an accident!"
"Then why is it still there?"
"…That is also an accident."
"Ugh, I'm so tired that I don't even care about your latent homosexuality anymore."
"I'm sorry, who's gay? 'Cause I know you did not just insinuate I was."
"Um, actually I did."
"If anyone here is gay, it's you, Mr. 'Let's-Hop-Into-Bed-Together'! 'Conserving body heat', my ass."
"Then what does that make you, who agreed to sleep together and is still touching my ass."
"One, that would be because I value my balls and, two, I'm pretty sure my hand froze to your asscheek because it's so cold!"
"That makes no sense!"
"I'm too damn tired to make sense!"
"…"
"…Let's just go to bed."
"…Right."
Maybe if they were lucky, John and Dave would think this very odd series of events was just an unfortunate (but very understandable) homoerotic dream. Of course, we all know that they aren't that blessed and that they will remember every second of this not-as-awkward-as-they're-making-it-out-to-be situation.
When the two not-boyfriends awoke the next morning, there was an unspoken agreement to not speak of their cuddle session. But, damn, did they want to; so, so badly. But, the question was who would be the one to break the already-cracking gay ice.
The two continued their morning with the romantic tension between them so thick, you could cut it with a knife. It continued well into the afternoon until Dave finally decided to grow a friggin' pair.
"H-Hey, John, do you…wanna be my…brofriend?"
Way to go, Strider.
"Um, sure…?"
And it was a hella gay (b)romance the two shared.
Thanks for reading!