Author's note: Hey there! Enjoy! P.s. I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Suzanne Collins.
This is my first fanfic, please let me know what you think about it!
Further, my native language isn't English. So if you find any mistakes (Also if there are any mistakes that don't fit in the story) please, let me know!
P.p.s. The start is kinda-weird, but I promise, it'll be fun in the end, so please, keep reading!
Katniss:
Silence. I don't remember how I ended up here, sitting in the room that used to be Prim's.
Sitting on the bed that used to be Prim's. It's my fault she died. It's my fault. Prim, my little sister, was blown to bits in an attack arranged by Coin. And I killed that woman. She must be the only one wich I felt no regret to. Still, tears flowed down my face
Behing me, a voice scares me, making me jump from the bed.
"Sweetheart, look at you, you're a complete mess!" It was Haymitch. He was, no, he is the only person that understands where I'm going trough. Ever since we came back to district twelve, he was looking after me.
He suggested me to take a shower. When I looked at myself in the mirror, i understood that Haymitch felt worried about me. My hair was sticking out in all directions, my eyes dull and my skin weak.
I don't know for how long i've been in the shower. It could've been just seconds, munutes, maybe hours. I got out again, and put on some simple clothes. When I got downstairs, Haymitch was still there.
"Hey Sweetheart, that's better." I wondered why he was so nice. His usual sarcastic undertone was gone. Then I smelled it. He was drunk, for one of the first times again since he returned.
"Hmm, you dressed up like that for me? " Then I remembered. After the shower, I forgot to bring some clothes. So I picked the first thing within reach, just a simple nightgown, made of silk. I wasn't expecting Haymitch at all! My cheeks flooded hot, and then I recovered.
"You wish, Haymitch." I snapped.
"I sure do, sweetheart." He said. I was barely able to make out what he was saying because of the influence the drinks had on him.
"Just go home."
"Why would I? Don't you like my company?" He was tripping over his words as he stood up, knocking over a vase. How much had he drunk by now? It looked bad. Maybe it's better to get him to his house and rest.
He was only getting closer and closer.
"Haymitch, stop it." He looked at me as if he didn't understand me anymore. He laid his hand on my shoulder.
"Okay, okay, fine. You're no fun." I should feel relieved right now, but all I felt was frustration. The tone that he used.. Was he dissapointed? I led him to the front door. But instead of leaving him and going inside, I followed him. As soon as he stepped off the porch he fell to the ground. I stepped outside, feeling the cold over my arms and legs. Again, I had forgotten about my nightgown. Embarrased, I helped Haymitch up and walked to his house.
I got him inside, now I only had to get him upstairs, in his bed.
The house was a complete mess, broken glass everywhere. All I could smell was the stench of booze, rotten food, vomit and other stuff. It has been a while since there was cleaned here. As soon as I got him in his bed, he started talking nonsense. I stood up and got ready to leave as he said something that I did understand.
"Sweetheart, I love you. I always have" I made no intention on turning around, trowing some words over my shoulder. He must've drunk a lot to be talking this nonsense.
"You're drunk. Go sleep, and say it again tomorrow."
I hope that this is the best way to really make him sleep.
"And before I forget, you really should wear that more often. It looks good on you." I grunted. Why did I help him again? I just left, hoping he would wake up without having a hangover too bad.
Haymitch
I woke up. First thing i felt was my head. Then, some parts of yesterday flew back into my memories. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I kept cursing over myself over and over.
How could i've been that stupid? I drank more than the usual, and it gave me the courage to go up to Katniss and tell her something that stupid. I didn't love her. Did I? I didn't know for sure. From the start, Katniss proved to be a special girl indeed. But did I really love her? I wasn't sure. But is there one thing that I've learned from being drunk, that is that it uncovers the truth. Alcohol makes people honest, yet also stupid.
As soon as i trew up a few times, took a shower and got dressed, i made my way to Katniss' house. I walked in and found her in the kitchen, trying to make something, judging by the smell, it should be pancakes.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." Who ever thaught, that I'd be apolegizing to her. The mockingjay, the girl on fire, but above all, the sweetheart. Wait what? The sweetheart. Damn.
"It's okay. I just trew your drinks trough the sink." Wait. She did what? My mouth fell open. How could she! Cold rage started to form in my head. I wanted to be angry at Katniss, but it was just impossible. My hands turned into fists, but I couldn't shout at Katniss. As soon as when I turned around and faced her. Her eyes were challenging me.
"Do you remember?" She asked. I nodded. I think I know what she ment.
"Did you mean it?" She asked. I looked at her. In the deep Seam-grey eyes. The same as mine. I thought of all that we had been trough. Then, my thoughts stopped at this one moment. It was about a week after we arrived back in our district.
"Haymitch, are you drunk, again?" I shook my head.
"Not drunk enough." I looked at her. It was obvious she had been crying a lot. But why? Because of Prim?
"Swe-… Katniss, are you okay?" She didn't answer. All that she did was burst out in tears, lean against me. I fellt teardrops fall on my shirt as Katniss was clinging on to it. I wasn't familliar with situations like this. No-one came for me to find comfort. Never. All i could do was place my hand on her head and rub her hair, trying to comfort her. She kept sobbing.
"Its allright. It's allright" I kept repeating it, even unaware of saying it before i blurted it out. It seemed to comfort her.
The same scene has happened a few times already. Katniss had a time that she was completely broken. She seemed to really find comfort in my words. Then I dropped back in the real world.
Did I love her?