Title: Total Chaos
Introduction: A collection of funny-chaotic one shots that I came up with.
Spotlight for the following characters on stage:
Allen Walker
Komui Lee
Yuu Kanda
Lenalee Lee
Lavi Bookman, Jr.
Chapter: 1
Little Clown of the Past
"Komui." Allen leaned down to see Komui's face laying flat on his desk. On the left side of his desk was a pile of books and a pile of papers on the other. There was also a mountain of unorganized books around him and a pool of papers.
"Komui." Allen started. He's a bit of nervous whether he will continue whatever he was going to say or not. Just thinking about a huge drill or Komurin made him shiver. But he has no choice. He has to wake Komui to give him the report of his and Lavi's mission. No one was around to help him wake the dozing supervisor. If he left his report, Komui wouldn't noticed it and his report would probably join the pool papers.
Allen sighed. He has no choice, hasn't he?
Alright. Without further ado, here it goes.
"Le-Lenalee's getting married."
Komui twitched. And Allen stepped back in anticipation, heart beating fast.
3
…
2
…
1
…
Eh? Allen didn't expect this. Surprisingly, Komui didn't wake up which confused him. Reever said it was the only way to wake him up but why it didn't work now that he used the trick? Maybe he really is so tired. He thought though Allen felt something bad would happen in the next minute but he shrugged it off and leaned down once again.
"Komui- Omp!"
Komui pulled a flask out of nowhere that has a very suspicious purple liquid in it and shove it to Allen's mouth forcing him to drink it all in three gulps.
Komui smiled eerily at his success.
"Hehe…you are NOT going to marry my little precious sister…" he snickered.
Allen shove his hand and pulled the flask out of his mouth and threw it across the room causing it shatter. Allen coughed and pushed his report to Komui's face.
"I am NOT going to marry her, Komui…" suddenly, Allen felt sick and was about to throw up so he left Komui talking behind.
+++Total Chaos+++
It's already passed 10 in the morning when a group of exorcists sat on a table eating their light snacks.
"Hey, did you see Allen-chan? I haven't seen him since breakfast." Lavi asked them poking his pancake with fork.
"Hmm…now that you mention it…" Lenalee trailed off as she scan the cafeteria looking for a certain white haired teen digging in a mountain of foods.
"I didn't see him." said Miranda.
"Me either." Said Crowley.
"He's with you." Said Kanda as he sipped his soba.
"Ah yes. We got back from a mission early this morning. Gramps called me to amend something so I left him with the report to give to Komui. Then I went here for breakfast but I didn't see him so I thought he's finish already and gone to somewhere." Lavi explained.
"Didn't he lost?" Miranda asked.
"I have a bad feeling about this." Said Lenalee as she stood up. "I'm going to look for him."
"I'm coming." Said Miranda, Crowley, and Lavi in unison. Together, they walked to look for the missing silverette and left Kanda with his soba.
+++Total Chaos+++
"Kanda!" a feminine voice called out his name. he turned around to see the four running towards him. "Did you see Allen-kun?"
"No." was his only answer. He turned his back to them to head to the male's room when Lavi hold his wrist.
"Let go, baka usagi."
"No, Yuu-chan. You have to help us. Who knows? Maybe he's starving to death!"
Kanda yanked his arm away and said. "I don't care if he's starving to death. It's his fault of getting lost. And-" Kanda unsheathed his Mugen and caressed it to Lavi's neck. "-didn't I told you not to call me that?"
Miranda and Crowley backed away afraid of Kanda's wrath.
Lavi just sweatdropped and forced a smile. "R-Right. Ka-Kanda." Kanda then pulled away his sword and sheathed it. Before he left, Kanda gave Lavi one final glare before he headed to the male's room.
"Come on guys. Let's look for Allen."
+++Total Chaos+++
"Hey, does it fit you?" Timothy asked.
"Yeah 'guess. Though itsa lil bit biggah." Said the boy looking at his reflection on the mirror.
"Nah, it fits you. C'mon, youstomach is protesting. youdidn't eat yet, right?"
"Yup." The boy jumped down the stool and the two headed to the door when someone from the outside opened it.
"Ah! Kanda!" said Timothy.
"Who's that brat?" Kanda asked pointing the little kid that was with Timothy. Timothy was about to answer him when-
"AM NOT A BRAT YA DIMWIT!"
Kanda twitched. "What?" he growled.
"Dincha hear meh? Are ya deaf!?" the kid spat.
"You…little…"
"Ge'out of our way!" he shove Kanda aside and pulled Timothy out. "Let's go Timothy. I'm starving here."
"Oh. See you later, Kanda." Said Timothy and followed the kid out of the male's room leaving the oh-so-ever-constipated-Kanda annoyed.
"Tch."
+++Total Chaos+++
Timothy was amazed to see the kid eat his food. No, erase that. Timothy was amazed to see the kid devoured the mountain of food he ordered. Jerry was so glad to see another kid who eat just like Allen. The finders stared at him with shocked on their faces. They only knew one who eats like that.
"Hey, you didn't tell me your name yet."
"Red." The kid said munching his last dango.
"Red?"
"Yeah. I dun'have a real name. they just called me 'Red'."
"Oh…where do you live?"
"I dun have a permanent house. So…I live somewhere in London."
"…?"
"Ya see…I hang out with a stupid clown and we always travel from town ta town."
"I see. Why are you here then?"
"I dunno. I was sleeping in my bed at the inn where we're stayin' for the night then woke up at the male's room, wondered around and I saw ya. Can ya help me'out of here?"
"No. but Komui will help you."
+++Total Chaos+++
"Nii-san. We couldn't find Allen-kun."
Lenalee and Lavi went to Komui's office to asked for help. Miranda and Crowley were sent for a mission awhile ago.
"What should we do, Nii-san?" she asked worriedly.
"Are you sure he's nowhere to be found?"
"Yes, Komui. We've been searching for hours!" Lavi exclaimed when the door opened and revealed a very pissed Kanda.
"Oh, Kanda. What's up?" asked Komui.
"Tch. I met a brat."
"A brat?" the three repeated in unison.
Knock! Knock!
Lavi stood and opened the door and closed again.
"Who is it, Lavi-kun?" asked Lenalee.
"I don't know. There's no one outside-" a loud, very impatient, and annoyed knock was heard again and slowly, Lavi opened the door.
"Ya stupid rabbit we're here!" Timothy yelled at Laiv's. His face was red in annoyance because Lavi ignored them.
"O-oh…sorry buddy." Lavi smiled sheepishly, he stepped aside and let the two kids in.
Lavi walked in front of the two kids who sat on Lenalee's right side and leaned down to see the new kid's face.
"Who are you, brat?"
WAM!
The new kid, Red, punched him square in his nose. His right fist stand still and was fuming in annoyance.
"I'm NOT BRAT." He growled. Kanda 'tch'ed' and smirked at Lavi's face.
"You…little…IT HURTS!" he complained clutching his swollen nose, tears were forming in his eye.
"that's the brat I met." Said Kanda who was leaning back on the wall, arms crossed.
"I'M NOT BRAT!" Red snapped.
"Uhmm…hi, my name is Lenalee. What's yours?"
This time, Red calmed himself and looked at the one who spoke. "Ma name's Red."
"Red, this is Komui, my brother. That one is Kanda and he is Lavi. What are you doing here anyway?" she asked gently.
"I dunno. Timothy brought me here 'cause he said Komui could help me back to where Mana is."
Komui and Lenalee knew who Mana was. they don't know how this kid knew the man so Komui walked towards the kid and kneeled down with one knee. "Red, is it?" he asked and Red nodded.
"Uhmm…Red, do happen to know who Allen is?"
"Allen? Do-do you know him!?" Red asked rather surprised.
"Yes, kiddo! He's our friend!" said Lavi joyfully. His arms behind his head.
"He's our friend. Do you know him?" Lenalee asked.
But they didn't receive an answer.
Red bowed his head to hide his face. He clutched the fabric of the shorts he's wearing and cried.
"Red?" Timothy patted him.
"A-Allen…he…"
"He…? What happened? Can you tell us?" Lenalee asked.
"He's dead…"
"Dead? He's with me this morning. You know." Said Lavi.
"But he's dead…a month ago."
Silence.
They don't know what the kid was talking about. Maybe he knew someone named Allen too and was mistaken to be their Allen. They stared down at the kid who suppressed his tears and looked up at their faces. "What?" Red asked them.
Kanda walked in and snatched the kid's left arm.
They gasped.
Reddish-brown hair, no scar, he knew Mana, and most of all…red arm.
"Allen?" Komui leaned down and asked.
"NO!" Red yanked his arm and stormed out of the room.
"Nii-san/Komui." The three exorcist, Timothy is excluded since he followed the kid out, warned. Their eyes were of fire and black aura arose from behind. "What did you do, NII-SAN?"
"Le-Lenalee…l-let me expla-UWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! LENALLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"GO AND MAKE THE ANTIDOTE!" they kicked Komui out of building. You can see that Komui flew up and a star appeared up in the daylight sky, a hint that he disappeared through clouds.
+++Total Chaos+++
"MOYASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ! ! !" Kanda's yell was heard throughout the whole Order. The finders at the cafeteria paused for a while wondering where that scream came from. The scientist at the lab in the other hand, were napping…no…they were sleeping, jumped at the scream and then resumed to their work that they forgot.
Kanda stormed at every room he passed looking for a certain chestnut-haired brat. The hell…why am I looking for him again…?
Flashback.
"Kanda-kun~!" Komui chimed as he leaned forward to Kanda who sat at the couch. "Tch. Get off me!" he pushed Komui's face out of his and smacked him.
"Ow…that hurts!" Komui whined.
"Damn it. Oi, you have a mission for me, right?"
"Ah yes! Yes!"
"Tell me. don't waste my time." Kanda scowled.
"Ahh…actually…my Lenalee and the others were busy. I assigned each one a mission and would be back I think later or tomorrow. So…there's no one that I could give this but you. So, do you accept it? OF COURSE YOU WILL ACCEPT IT! You're not going to fail a mission right?" Komui leaned again, his eyes sparkled in the hopes of Kanda accepting this mission.
"Get off you curly haired sister-complex mad scientist!" Kanda kicked him square on his face.
"Mou…Kanda-kun…that wasn't nice." Komui complained as he rubbed his swollen face. "Heh, it deserves you. Now, tell what would my mission be."
Komui then stood and shifted his mood into a serious one. He cough on his hand as he adjusted his eyeglasses that glinted in the light. "Kanda." He started. Kanda looked at him seriously wondering what would be this mission thing that would make komui this serious. Kanda waited for him to continue…
"…"
"…"
"Kanda…you are…"
"I am…what?"
"You are going to…to…"
"To…what?"
"You are going to…b-b-"
"Say it! Damn!-"
"YOUAREGOINGTOBABYSITLITTLEALLEN-KUN~!" Komui chimed, flowers were hovering above.
"…say what…?" Kanda asked, lost at words.
"You are going to babysit little Allen-kun!"
"WHAT THE-"
End of flashback.
Kanda shrugged off the thought of it and he grudgingly continued on his search. After hours of fruitless search, he decided to go to the cafeteria. He got hungry looking for that bean sprout.
He came passed to the table where a mountain of food was. He was too mad and hungry to noticed something big like that. He went to Order his usual when Lavi and Lenalee came.
"Hey! Yuu-chan!" Lavi jumped at him in an attempt to hug him but before Lavi did, Kanda unsheathed his wooden sword and poked at Lavi's neck. "Hn- n-no need to be that harsh, Yu-Kanda. We're friends right?" he sweatdropped. "We ARE not."
"Uhmm…Kanda? What happened to mugen?" Lavi asked eyeing the wooden sword on his neck. Kanda pulled it back and sling it to his hip. He turned his back and get his tray of soba.
"Hey, Kanda. We just got back from a mission. How was Allen-kun?" Lenalee asked as she grabbed her tray and went to a table followed by the two boys.
"Hn. I don't care about that brat. He took mugen and run away from me and I couldn't find him." Kanda explained as they settled their trays and sat. Lenalee took a spoon of her food when Lavi poke Kanda who was eating his soba. "Stop it baka usagi."
"Ne, Kanda…what're you going to do once you found him?" Lavi asked.
"Tch. I will take my mugen back and mince that brat and make a bean sprout stew then I will eat him." Said Kanda in his evil tone. Lavi and Lenalee saw that he grew horns and his teeth became canine as Kanda laughed at his imagination of having the bean sprout mince nicely and put the bean sprout in the boiling water and then stirred it with a smirk plastered on his face.
( - _ - ! ) ||||
"Lavi…this isn't a good idea. Think we should hide him?" Lenalee asked worriedly.
"Yeah, your right." Lavi agreed.
Kanda heard their conversation, curious what or who they were talking about, he paused and settled his chopsticks on his cup and look at the two. But before he could turn his head, he saw that mountain of dishes piled in front of him that it was impossible who was behind of those.
But of course, he knew that there are two who eat so much but only one who eats like the one in front of him.
Allen Walker.
…
…
…
"MOYASHIIIIIIIIIIIII! ! !"
As if on cue, Lavi dashed and grabbed little Allen on his arms and run as fast as he could. Lenalee was left behind as he watched Kanda chased them out of the cafeteria.
"Hey! Put me down!" little Allen complained as he struggled against Lavi's arm. "No! *pant* your life is in danger!" said Lavi. He looked over his shoulder and saw Kanda chased after them with that murderous intent on his face. Lavi shrieked.
"Baka usagi! Give that brat to me!"
Little Allen looked up and saw Kanda. He shrieked. "Lavi! FASTER! He's going to kill me!"
"I know! I know! Actually…I shouldn't be doing this." He said as they passed through several scientists whose papers that they carried were blown away as Lavi and Kanda run pass them.
"Why?" Allen asked.
"Because it's your fault. Why did you stole Kanda's mugen anyway?!"
"HE'S GOING TO SLICE ME IN HALF! HOW COULD I NOT TO IF YER LIFE IS ON EDGE?!"
"Baka usagi! Put him down so I could mince him!" Kanda yelled swinging his sword in an attempt to slice the little baka moyashi, now including baka usagi.
Lavi ducked. A few strands of hair were cut. "See that, moyashi-chan? Mugen is Kanda's most precious thing. Now that you stole it and hide probably somewhere that you couldn't even remember where, he will surely torment you! Now go and apologize!"
"NO!" little Allen protested when Lavi almost dropped him while on the run. "HE'S GOING TO KILL MEH! I DUN' WANNA DIE YOUNG!"
BOOM!
Lavi, little Allen, and Kanda crushed into something…or perhaps…someone.
"Owww…" they growled rubbing their sore parts.
"Whut was that?" Red asked to no one.
They bump into Komui. Komui stood and picked up the box. Lenalee walked over and gave her brother a coffee. "thank you, Lenalee." Lenalee smiled. Komui took a sip of his coffee and settled it back on the cart.
"Oh, by the way, Kanda-kun. I saw something." Said Komui as pulled something sharp from the box.
Lavi stared at it. Aware what would happen in the next few seconds.
Kanda smirked at it and stood dusting himself while Red, a.k.a. little Allen watched in horror. "Mugen…" little Allen whispered and heard Lenalee called Kanda's name before he blackout.
+++Total Chaos+++
Little Allen woke up anew. He slowly sat himself up and rubbed the sleep away. He looked around his room. He frowned.
Mana…
He whimpered. Komui had told him the other day that Mana had passed away and he was a 15 year old that shrunk into his child form. At first he didn't believe until the golden golem, Timcanpy, showed him the stored memories.
I can hardly believe it.
Little Allen sat on his bed for 30 minutes as he contemplated for revenge. Ever since that he met the Mr. girly samurai BaKanda as he dubbed him, he has this urge to torment the guy but shrugged it off until Kanda proven that he, Kanda, is worth tormenting for. Lavi told him that Kanda almost killed him when Allen first came in the Order. Of course little Allen didn't remember it because of that cursed potion he was forced to drink.
Little Allen smirked as he thought of a perfect plan.
Now, lessee…but first, I hafta fix mahself an'eat mah breakfast.
He hopped down the bed, went to his closet and changed clothes. He wore the little version of Allen's casual that Johnny made him.
+++Total Chaos+++
Kanda walked pass the corridors. He scowled.
Tch. Until when do I have to do this?
Kanda has to babysit little Allen until the potion wears off. This what made his every day sour. Not that he like sweet.
He just really hated this kind of mission thingy. True, he accepted the mission since no one was around to do it but then again, he found himself that he couldn't get rid of the brat.
Not long after, he stopped in front of the door. He knocked as politely as he could and waited for a respond.
…
Once again, he knocked a little irritated.
…
But then again, no one answered his knocks so he knocked on the door hard. "Oi! Baka moyashi! Open the door! Oi! Did you hear me? I'm going to knock this door down if you won't open!" Kanda stopped knocking harshly and stared at the door in front of him
"…Tch…damn you brat…" he muttered. He glanced down and tried the knob. He slowly revolved it and heard a soft click. "It's unlock."
He opened the door.
But no one's inside. He went inside and look around the room searching for a chestnut mop of hair but there were no signs of him. the bed was fixed and everything was in order as if no one had been in here last night.
He paled when he remembered Komui's warning.
"Kanda-kun…you have to be gentle with our Allen-chan!"
"Tch. Give me reasons as to why I have to take care of that brat." He blunted.
"I'm NOT BRAT!" Red snapped, he sat beside Kanda on the couch.
"Come on Kanda. Look at how cute he is!" Lenalee cooed.
"Not cute." Red retorted in which Lenalee and Lavi giggled. Red gave them a short glared to shut.
"Okay, Kanda, my reasons are…first, Allen-chan must not be with my precious Lenalee. He's a little mischievous at times. Then, Lavi has his bookman duties so he couldn't watch over Allen-chan. And lasty…" Komui paused. He grabbed little Allen, who seemed confused of what was happening, and held him in Kanda's face who put a disgust on his face. "…Look at how cute Allen-chan is! I know you have a heart for cute things Kanda, that's why."
"WE TRUST YOU, Kanda!" the three chimed altogether in front of him.
"Put your faces away from me!." he shove.
"Kanda, I will confiscated your mugen if you didn't." said Komui followed by Lavi who wore that sunshine on his face that put the sun on shame. "Besides, I will go tell the others about your underwear-"
Kanda cut him off by poking his mugen on Lavi's throat.
Lavi paled. He sweatdropped and smiled sheepishly. "Say it and you're a goner. I make sure to make baka usagi stew out of you."
WAM!
Lenalee slapped her clipboard on Kanda's head. "Stop it Kanda. You have to babysit Allen-kun."
"Great. Just great." Kanda walked out of the room and thought of the first thing that Allen would possibly go. "Of course, that sprout will go to cafeteria."
+++Total Chaos+++
"Will this work?" Red asked his redhead companion.
"Of course it will! Now go before he saw you."
"'kay."
Later, Kanda came and scanned the cafeteria.
TARGET SPOTTED AT THREE O'CLOCK.
He smirked and walked in to where that mountain was.
Little Allen was merrily devouring his food when a shadow casted over him. he looked up, a drumstick stuck out of his mouth. "Ohf, Kwandaf."
*veinpopped* "The hell…moyashi…didn't Komui told us that you have to wait for me before you go on yourself? You get lost easily."
Red glared at him. "Hmf. Ishtof akching like ye carf."
"I don't care really."
"Good."
"But I care about mugen."
"And the underwear?" Allen append which made Kanda popped more veins on his face.
"What…?"
"I said underwear."
Kanda was on the verge of yanking the boy by his collar but before it happened, Allen handed him a cup of soba.
Kanda looked at it sternly.
"Sarrie fer upsetting ya the other day. Din meant to. I asked Jerry to teach me how to make soba. Hope ya like it." Little Allen smiled.
Not an innocent angelic smile but a mischievous smile.
Unfortunately, kanda didn't noticed it and accepted the cup of soba. He sat down across little Allen who was still smiling at him.
"Did you put something on it?" Kanda asked suspiciously when he noticed that smiled. "Of course I didn't!" said little Allen.
Kanda pushed the cup toward Red. "I want to make sure this is not poison."
Nah, it won't kill me in just one bite. Red thought and grabbed the cup and sipped the noodles. Kanda waited for any reaction but nothing appeared as a side effects. He pulled the cup back and suspiciously took a sipped.
Kanda's eyes widened in surprised. It taste good! Just like Jerry's. maybe he's telling the truth. And with in his mind, he continued on savouring the wonderful taste of his soba.
"Am goin' to put these plates back to the kitchen. I'll be right back. An…by the way, I din made that soba, it's Jerry. I just added a special recipe that will surely made ya say mah name or perhaps my nickname that ya gave me. ya won't forget me becuz of that."
Little Allen then pushed the cart leaving Kanda lost at words. What does he mean "say his name"? he asked inwardly.
2 minutes later…
"MOYASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! ! !"
Kanda yelled as fire came out of his mouth.
Why?
Because our mischievous little Allen put some spicy sauce that will taste good at first but after you eat half of it, eventually, you'll taste the spiciness that will make you blow fire like a dragon. : )
+++Total Chaos+++