It Takes Two

Author's Note: I'm baaaccccckkkkk, and BOY does it feel good to be inspired and writing again. I missed it SO much. It's been a long long time, a long process in the making, but I am back and better than ever baby! And extremely high on sugar right now, so please, bare with me. I'd like to thank the academy... no, my psycho Hey Arnold infatuated mind for producing this piece of literary genius, as well as all the writers out there who helped inspire me to try my hand again at putting words onto a page. You are all amazing. Don't let people tell you otherwise. Don't let them bring you down. Don't let me keep you from reading this amazingly fantastical wonderful... *ahem* Okay, I'll shut up. Again, sugar high! Oh, before I get into the story, let me just say...

I do not own Hey Arnold.

Phew. Oh, and this story is set during the April Fool's Day episode... specifically the Tango Scene. I've seen plenty of Arnold centric fiction about that episode, but never Helga centric. Regardless, enjoy.

I love April Fool's Day.

God, but that boy is sexy! Perhaps it's the low lighting in the YMAA gym. Perhaps it's the fact that he had been giving me extra special attention all day. Maybe it's the fact that I have always been and will always be madly freakin' in love with the boy! Whatever it is, the gaze he's giving me as he pulls me into his arms... I could have been struck by lightning, paralyzed by jellyfish, thrown into the flames of the sun, and crushed under the weight of Harold Burman, and STILL die a happy girl. Shaking off the poetry that was boiling within my veins, I forced my thoughts back down to earth. Down to where the love of my life had his arms wrapped around my body. Down to where our tango... our stupid April Fool's Day dance... was becoming something much more heated. Something MUCH more intense.

His voice, so completely soft and velvety smooth, tickled my eardrums. God, I wished right then and there that I really WAS blind, if only to have my other senses at their peaks. "It must be strange," he mused, pressing his nose to mine, pulling me closer so that our bodies touched. GOD! We were so CLOSE! I felt his pulse racing against mine. Could it... Was it... Did he possibly feel the same way? My pulse thudded in my wrists. "...Not being able to see anything." His eyes narrowed. Were they always that green? I had to look away. God, I had to! I would have wound up kissing him right then and there, damn the consequences, damn the audience! I wanted him! I wanted my secret to be let out. It was a starving tiger in a tiny cage, being tempted with a hunk of raw meat! It was eating me up inside! Tearing my eyes away from his was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my whole life. "Anything at all."

"It is. It's very..." GOD! Why the hell is he dipping me? Why can't he just dance like a normal ten year old?! The floor was so close now. My pigtails were just barely dragging on it. "Arnold! You're being kind of rough!" WHY OH WHY DID I LOOK INTO HIS EYES AGAIN? That half-lidded stare. That warm voice. That oh-so-insanely-amazing shampoo! What the hell is that stuff anyway?! And GOD he looks sexy! I really must remember to tell him when all this is over that he looks unbelievably dashing in that suit. That green really looks amazing on him. FOCUS, Helga ol' girl! You can do this! Just keep your head on your shoulders! FOCUS!!

"Don't worry my poor blind friend." Oh, God, oh God, oh great God in Heaven, why do you send this boy to torture the very existence of my poor pathetic heart by doing that stupid... adorable... annoying... amazing... aggravating... loving... torturous... half-eye thing!? I think Arnold knows. He must. He's doing this to torture me! He's driving my blood to boil and he knows it! DAMN! "You're in good hands." Please don't let this moment end. Please! Please, oh almighty God, if you do exist, let this moment last forever. Let this song be put on repeat. Let everyone else grow old and crumble to dust and blow away in the breeze, but keep the two of us in this moment forever! And those eyes! Damn it all if that boy can't melt my heart just by staring at me with those freakishly green eyes! Two pools. Two endless pools, as deep as the seas. Two unbelievably deep recess of oceans that have neither suffered from the touch of man or harshness of nature. GOD! I FREAKING LOVE THIS BOY!

This has to be a crime. A crime against nature. A crime against humanity. A crime against love! Why the hell can't I just ADMIT to him that I love him? Why does my heart have to have all these stupid walls? That's it! Once this whole fiasco is over, I'm telling him that I adore him.

"Helga, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

WHAT? What, darling? What on earth could you want to tell me? Why do you have to be so CLOSE!? Oh, darling Arnold, love of my life, reason for my existence, holder of my heart, what could you possibly ever want to tell me? Oh, sweet Arnold, holding me so close, not an ounce of revulsion crossing your features, could it be? Could you possibly be in love with me? Could you be secretly harboring the same feelings for me that I have so long felt for you? Oh, if only it were true, my love, my passion, my darling. If only my girlish daydreams and fantasies would prove to be realistic outside of my overactive imagination. Oh, if only you would sweep in, like a knight in shining armor or a masked superhero and save me from the clutches of my own battered heart. If only...

CRAP! He's probably waiting for me to say something.

AND WHERE THE HELL DID HE LEARN TO DANCE LIKE THIS!? God, it was driving me wild! He spun me out and then back into him, his chest pressing firmly into my back, his arms around me. He had to feel my pulse. He had to know! He just had to! Even Arnold couldn't be this dense! Even Arnold couldn't be this misguided. He HAD to know! I had to take control of this situation and fast. This was not going my way. RIGHT! The dance! The whole reason I was in his arms! April Fool's Day! I had nearly forgotten!

"There is?" Oh, and how he danced! It nearly made me forget the mission. God, that stupid mission. To humiliate and make Arnold pay for trying to beat me at my own game. How dare he try to prank me. Oh, he was going to get it eventually. Maybe we would have a grand old laugh about this afterwards. But first...

"Funny, there's something I've been meaning to tell you too."

HA! Take that, Football-Head! You wanted to play rough, you got it. You can't mess with the fire, Arnoldo. It'll end up consuming you. Ooh, gotta remember to write that one down! I felt rather proud of myself at the way he was taken aback by my sudden burst in aggression. Well, he wanted to play rough! I'm a tough girl. I can take care of myself, and frankly, I wasn't about to let him one-up me. No, this was my night. If anyone was going to be the dominate one, it was going to be me. STUPID! Mind out of the gutter, Helga! Gutters are very bad places to leave your mind in!

GOD! GOD, GOD, GOD, GOD! Where did he learn these MOVES!? He has me back in his arms again, our bodies once more pressed up against each other. He's looking at me out of the corner of those gorgeous eyes again! Will he ever stop ceasing to turn me into a puddle of mush!? This is so going in my diary. CRIMINY!!

"Yeah, I've just been waiting." A flicker of a smile? What the hell? Arnold, have you gone insane? Are you aware that you will be consumed if you play with the fire for too much longer? "Waiting for the right moment." WHAT MOMENT!? There couldn't be a more perfect moment, Football-Head! Every single fiber in my body is screaming! I want you! I want to kiss you! I want to announce to the WORLD that I LOVE ARNOLD! I want you to grab me with reckless abandon and thrust those amazingly perfect hands into my hair, pulling me close, kissing me with all your might! I don't want to freakin' breathe, Football-Head! I want to just be able to kiss you, and breathe in your shampoo and hold you close to me and... Okay, Helga, GET A GRIP! You're ten! TEN! You are NOT old enough to be thinking like that. Mind out of the gutter, girl. MIND. OUT. OF. THE. GUTTER! Crap, what did he say? I should probably answer.

"So have I."

That was lame.

"People, attention. We've counted all the votes, and our first ever king of fools is..."

RIGHT! CRAP! Now or never, Helga ol' girl. DO IT! Prove you're superior. Prove he can't one-up you. PROVE IT!

I spun out of his grasp, snatching the sunglasses from my face, pointing directly at the boy I loved. "YOU, Arnold!"

YES! Did it. I proved it! I am the best! I am the queen of all pranking! The glasses dropped to the floor and I saw Arnold's green eyes sparkle as he watched them clatter. Wait. What?

"Actually, it's you, Helga!"

Oh, boy. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Where do you get off, Football-Head! Who said you could turn the tables?! IDIOT! AND WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD HOLD ME LIKE THAT! IDIOT! STUPID! MORON! Unbelievable!! Time hated me. Fate hated me. KARMA hated me. How the hell did I end up in the pool?

"April Fools!"

I hate April Fool's Day...