This is my first attempt to write a humor story. I'm not really that good so I tried my best.

Disclaimer: Sonic is own by Sonic Team.

"Is everything ready when they get here?" asked Amy as Silver and Shadow hanged a banner saying 'Welcome home war heroes'.

"Why am I even doing this? I hoping faker dies," said Shadow.

"Bastard owes ten bucks," Silver said.

Everyone was here to welcome Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles home from a war in Iraq (Settings on Earth). Amy was talking to Sally about Sonic as usual. Julie Su, Rouge, and Sonia were giving each other evil glares. Everyone was talking with each other.

Then everything went silence as the doorknob started to turn. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails walked through the door.

"SURPRISE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the three screamed.

Everyone looked at the three, noticing something different about them.

"Holy crap," screamed Rouge, "what happened!"

Sonic has bandaged on his neck, Tails has bandaged on his ear, stomach, arm, and foot. Knuckles, who was carrying the two has a bandaged on his foot.

"Oh Tails had an idea that would get us out of the service," Sonic said in a raspy voice.

"Hey it worked didn't it," Tails said in defense.

(Flash back)

"Tails are you sure about this?" asked Sonic.

"Of course. It's just like on Family Guy, the two of us will shoot each other in the foot and the third person we'll slit his throat. So Sonic you and me will shoot each other in the foot…"

"WHOA! Hold on there Tails I am not going to have a bullet in my foot, it will slow me down."

"Sheesh okay, Knuckles, you and me then." Knuckles came over, holding his gun.

"Tails you really wanna go through with this?" Knuckles asked.

"YES, I'm very positive!" Tails said getting a little peeved.

"Okay Knuckles, on three. One. Two. Three."

BANG

"Dammit, oh my god that hurts," Knuckles yelled as he jumps on one foot.

"YOU BASTARD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO AIM FOR THE FOOT!" Tails yelled kneeling down.

"I did aim for the foot."

"THEN WHY IS THERE A BULLET IN MY CROTCH!"

"I'm sorry let me…"

BANG

"DAMNIT!" Tails yelled as a bullet pierced his arm.

"Oh god Tails I'm sorry it slipped I…"

BANG

"BLEEP!" Tails got shot again in the stomach.

"Jeeze I'm sorry Tails…"

BANG

"AGH!" once again to Knuckles stupidity Tails got shot in the ear.

"Tails I'm so sor…"

"GIVE ME IT, GIVE ME THE GUN I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" Knuckles handed him the gun. And what do you know; Tails shot himself in the foot and passed out. Knuckles looked over at Sonic.

"Well I guess I'll slit your throat now."

"Oh hell no, if I'm gonna die, its gonna be by my own hands," Sonic said as he took out his combat knife and raised it to his neck. "At least I won't owe Silver that ten bucks," the blue hedgehog said as he deeply slit his throat.

"Ah jeeze," Knuckles said, "I was just going to use this butter knife."

Then two army men ran over caused they heard the gun shot.

"Jesus Christ what happened here," asked one of the soldiers. With Knuckles he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick, "We were being snipe at, and they got my yellow friend and got me in the foot. The narcissus hedgehog over there got scared so he committed suicide."

"Get these men to the infirmary," the soldier told the other, "We're sending you boys home."

"You mean you actually believe me!"

(Flash Back Ends)

Everyone stood there silent.

"You mean you guys shot yourself just to get out of war," said Espio.

"And Tails, it was your idea." All eyes were on Tails.

"Honestly I didn't expect it to turn out so badly."

"Hey is that cake," Knuckles said as he dropped Sonic and Tails to go get himself some cake.

"Hmph, some war heroes," Shadow scoff.

Silver walked up to Sonic. Sonic could tell what was coming.

"Where's my ten dollars?"

Well I hope you enjoyed it. I'll see about the next chapter.