There once was a man named Protagonist McHeroson AKA, Marshall the playa. he was in the hood with his homies when this old guy be all like "son u gotta b a hero" but he's all "nah brah lemme just chill" so he go on playin wit his homies. Then, some brah roll up and be all like "yo this from k -shawn" and went up shootin the whole place up. Marshall gets down cause snacks, there's guns shnax. When it stops, he gets up and finds all his homies got dead. #shizgotreal.
Marshall goes to the old man's crib and he's all "yo i ain't got nothin left brah what i gotta do?" and the old man says "yo so this gang badger named k- shawn be terrorizing the whole hood, brah. He's not the main threat tho, he workin for the illuminati brah. we gotta train you up brah, get you ready." Marshall is confused, so he asks "but i don't even know who you are, who are you?" the old man smiles
"call me snoop dogg"
Marshall begins his training. he's punchin these gosh darn mannequins and shootin shtuff and he be workin a sweat. snoop dogg sighs "brah you aint feelin the power of the mlg yet." Marshall is confused. "mlg? what's that?" snoop dogg grins, and tips the nearest boingo over, opening up a secret passageway. "come in, brah" marshall, reluctant, walks into the passageway with the legendary snoop
Ahead of them lies a crib, so magnificent and gansta, marshall has to avert his eyes. "This is the ancient lair of the mlg pros" snoop explains "for centuries, gangsta after gangsta have been inducted into this organization brah. our one goal: fight the illuminati wherever they might be. your father was a member of the mlg pros too" Marshall's face lit up "you knew my dad?" "yes, but he is not with us anymore" snoop says, mournfully "he was killed by k -shawn many years ago." marshall cries evry tim, mourning his dad silently. "brah, man up, stop bein' a cryin' pimple" snoop dogg says, disapprovingly. marshall wipes the tears from his eye, trying to stay strong for the snoop.
Marshall continued to train, invoking the power of the mlg through the holy trinity of mlgness: mt dew, doritos, and dank wheat cereal brah. snoop pulls marshall aside "you're ready for them, brah. youve earned this" he said, pulling out an anonymous mask. "this will help you in your journey." he said. snoop smiled, relaxing a bit. "now, hows about u go get some more mt dew?" so marshall goes out to the store.
While he's there, he meets this hot af shawty named LaShaquanishia. "ey yo gurl lemme holla u" marshall said, charmingly. "yo what's good ya lil piece of man meat?"she said, winking. "ahh nothin much, just talkin' to a beautiful gurl dats all." and then 2 minutes later they did the ching changidy bang bang, which basically means they're official. marshall, combing his hand through his hair, realizes he forgot to get the mt dew to snoop, so he had to go.
when he got to snoop's crib, he noticed the door was open. marshall, terrified, slowly walked into the crib. "snoop? you there?" marshall asked. The crib was completely torn up, bullet holes everywhere and so much blood. "yo, help" a faint voice cried out. marshall ran to the source of the sound and when he got there, he found snoop. he was laying in a puddle of his own blood, riddled with bullet holes, like he be lookin like swiss cheese. marshall dropped the mt dew and rushed to snoop's side. "who did this to you snoop? who did this?" snoop coughed up some blood. "k…k -shawn and his crew…they came up in here…" snoop coughed up more blood, then looked directly at marshall. "r…remember…channel the power of the mlg through you…" snoop then became limp as his eyes closed. "nah brah, stay with me. don't die on me snoop." marshall said through his tears. but it was too late. snoop was dead.
Marshall, still mourning snoop, found a note in snoop's pocket. it was his will. he gave everything he had to marshall. there was something at the bottom too…"ps: marshall go in the mlg lair nd tip over the golden mt dew statue. there, you'll find the ultimate weapon of mlg ness" marshall then did that, and a secret closet opened up. inside were 2 of the most beautifully mlg items ever: a limited edition golden mlp fedora, and snoop's magical pimp stick. he put them on, and with the anonymous mask, he had the full connection to the mlg. he was ready.
Marshall headed back to LaShaquanishia's crib, still cryin like a little girl, tryin ta git moar chitty chang bang bang from her. but when he got there, he saw k- shawn himself, kidnapping LaShaquanishia. " if you want to see her again, go to jackson street" and then he disappeared down the fire escape. Marshall did teh cri erytim for his love of lif tim, but he knew what he had to do. suddenly, this white dude came up 2 him. "heeey, im staeeevin. i saaaw what happeeeened and that's super freeeeaked. can i heeeelp you oooout?" he said. "wtf is wrong with this dude" marshall thought, but he agreed and had him join him.
As they were walking to jackson street, Marshall noticed a familiar face, laying in a pile of garbage…it was the guy who shot up his homies! Marshall was filled with rage, this guy deserved to pay. but as he was about to curb stomp him, staevin said "waaaait, heeees hurt! leeets help him!" and marshall saw that the idiot boy staevin was right: this guy was bloodied up and beaten. He let the guy go, but then marshall asked "who da freak r u and who do you work for?!" the man coughed up blood " i…im tyreese…i used to work…for k-shawn…but…" he paused "But what!?" Marshall shouted. tyreese looked marshall in the eye "I found out he's illuminati brah…so i punched him in his gosh darn face…they beat me up and exiled me…" he spat out. marshall realized that tyreese might not be such a bad guy, so he and staevin carried tyreese back to snoop's crib.
After tyreese got better, marshall sat down with him for a talk. "scgvhjlmo,mloinjbhytgrf?" marshall asked. "what was that?" tyreese responded. "what was what? i just asked you a question?" tyreese shook his head. "look can you just repeat that?" tyreese asked. marshall sighs "ok shiz. do you know what k- shawn is planning?" marshall said, over enunciating all his words."ok there you go, actual words this time" tyreese said, jokingly "well k- shawn is planning to awaken the great machine." "the great machine? what's that?" Marshall asked. tyreese shuddered, gazing off into the distance "it's a horrifying mecha. it's fueled by pure evil. only the evilest of evils can pilot it. and he's found someone." tyreese had gone completely pale, like he'd seen a ghost or somthin. "i…i need to lay down…" tyreese then laid down on the couch. "who did k- shawn get to pilot the great machine" marshall thought to himself…but that answer would come soon enough. He needed sleep, so marshall laid down. he had a feeling tomorrow would be a big day for him.
The next morning, Marshall went with tyreese and staevin to pick up tyreese's dog. they got there and were met with a huge gosh darn dog. the thing was like bigger than a car and was built like a bodybuilder on steroids. the thing panted heavily, slobbering what looked like lava. "JESUS FLUBBING CHRIST WTF IS THAT THING JESUS" Marshall yelled. tyreese walked right up to it and rubbed it's side "her name's pickles. big, aint she? she's like part pitbull, part rottweiler, and part demon." Marshall was a lil freaked out, but staevin was super excited. "BIG PUUUUPPY!" staevin yelled, running up and hugging one of pickles' legs. "well, i guess she ain't the worst thing in the world" Marshall thought to himself, so he went over and pet pickles. This was the start of something great.
The gang finally reached jackson street, Marshall armed with snoop's magic pimp stick, tyreese armed with an ak47, and staevin armed with a hello kitty bat. The guards at the door, wearing pepe masks, saw them and started to fire at them. "showtime" marshall said. "lol lets do it bro" said tyreese, as he pulled up his ak and started to fire. pickles took the hint and went and tore the nearest guard to shreds, and it was brutal af yo. backup started pouring out of the doors, firing at them. marshall then summoned a fireball with his pimp stick and fired it at the nearest few guards, who wereall like "oh shiz, dis mofo b a magician brah" and then they burned 2 death. Staevin went over to the nearest dead body and started hitting it with his bat. "does moooommy love me yeeeet?" he yelled. "yeah nah she dont." Marshall said with a look of slight concern. "is it caause i kiiiiled her?" staevin asked. "wtf dude ur freaked up." marshall said, appalled.
Cars came rolling in, people falling out and shooting at them. "head inside marshall, i'll hold them off" tyreese said, still firing his ak while pickles was off tearing apart guard after guard. "but what about you?" Marshall asked. he didn't wanna just leave tyreese out there to die. "don't worry about me, just find k shawn." tyreese yelled, while doing a 360 no scope. marshall, reluctantly, grabbed staevin and ran inside the complex.
After eating a few guards, Marshall and staevin found their way to the main chamber. Marshall picked up an assault rifle from one of the guards and gave it to staevin. "wait here, buddy. if you see any guards coming, shoot them, ok?" marshall said. staevin nodded, and stood by the door. "do it for snoop, marshall. do it for snoop." Marshall said to himself, before he walked into the chamber.
The inside of the chamber was huge, looking like some industrial warehouse. machinery and scraps lay all around the room, and in the center was a massive metal hatch. in front of marshall, standing up on a balcony, was none other than k- shawn himself. "ahhh i'm so glad you could make it, marshall." k -shawn said, condescendingly. "where is she, k- shawn?" Marshall yelled. "oh she's safe…for now." k -shawn replied. "really, her fate rests on what you choose now, marshall." "what do you mean?" Marshall asked. "Marshall, you have 2 choices here: either join me, and gain unlimited power, or die." k -shawn explained. "why would i ever join you? you had my homies killed! you killed snoop dogg! you…you killed my father." Marshall blurted out.
"Marshall" K- shawn calmly said. "I *AM* your father"
Marshall was shocked…horrified even. "no…no…NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T BE!" Marshall yelled out, tears running down his face. "don't deny your heritage, son." K -shawn said, cackling softly. Marshall, furious, summons a fireball and flings it at k- shawn. K- shawn dodges, but the balcony collapses, bringing k- shawn with it. k -shawn, on the ground now, chuckles to himself. "so you wanna use mlg against me, huh?" k- shawn says, as he stands up." fine. let's do this" k- shawn lit fire to an entire boingo of wheat and becomes immensely filled with the power of mlg. then, k -shawn throws illuminati throwing stars at marshall. marshall misses most of them, but one cutsoff his pinky finger. In immense pain, Marshall summons dorito throwing stars and throws them at k -shawn, all while he's trying to land punches on him. k- shawn misses marshall's punches, but the doritos hit him squarely in the junk.
k- shawn falls to his knees, coughing up blood, but still laughing." you might have defeated me, but can you handle the great machine?" he says, as he pushes a button. suddenly, the hatch in the center of the room starts to open, and a great illuminati pyramid mecha is unearthed. k- shawn suddenly has a realization of what he's done. "oh no…what have i done…what have i done…" he says, as he takes his last breath. "hey booboo" Marshall knows that voice. its…LaShaquanishia! "Hey bae what's good." marshall says. "well dis birch azz brotha be holdn me hostage nd shiz so i broke my azz out fam!" Lashaquanishia explains. Marshall is so happy! but then he realizes where they are… "listen boo, i'm so happy u out but u gotta get home fam." Marshall says, panickedly. "what? why boo what's happinen?" LaShaquanisha asks.
Suddenly, a shot rings out. Marshall just sees blood and…lashaquanisha…she falls to the ground, the hole in her head gaping open. Marshall is horrified. his lov of lif tim… he turns to look at the mecha. its fully on now, all its guns aimed right at him. "You could have just joined us…everything would have been so simple…but you just couldn't do that could you?" a voice rings out, coming from the mecha. the mecha starts to open up. "all we ever wanted to do, marshall…our only goal…" the voice continues, as the mecha reveals that the pilot of the mecha was…Donald Trump! "…was to make the world great again…"then there was a flash of light, a loud bang, and marshall fell to the ground.
As the last bit of life escaped marshall, he could only think of everything he'd lost…all the people who will die now…but then, he notices shapes looming above him…could it be? it's the ghosts of snoop dogg, k- shawn, and lashaquanishia! they all embed marshall with the omega powers of the mlg. a beam of light shines on marshall as he rises once more. "wtf brah i should build a wall around you smh" donald trump says in awe. "you can't trump me, Trump." Marshall said, confidently "i have the omega mlg powers on my side now. give up your evil ways or else" Donald smiles "heh lol u think u can defeet me try meh" he says, firing at marshall. marshall cheats the game of life by running on the bullets and 360 no scoping donald trump with a fireball. "shiz dude" Donald said, seconds before dying from death. marshall walks out of the chamber before the great machine explodes cause he b a cool azz mofo brah.
Marshall goes to check on staevin, and he is a ok brah. tyreese made it out too, as well as pickles. "thank god we're all in one piece" Marshall says, thankfully. they all do an awesome high five breah as they walked back to snoop's crib.
Years later, a young man walks up to the door. he's heard so much about this place, that its the world center for mlg training. he nervously knocks, only to have an old man answer the door. "h- hello? is this the mlg training center?" the young boy asks. "why yes it is, brah." the old man says. "ahhhhhh so you must be the trainer huh? w -what do i call you sir?" the boy asks
"well, you can call me Marshall the playa"
The End…?