Respect, a mortal instruments fanfic

Respect/ I don't even know what it truly is! I know people crave for it. I just didn't know people did this for it.

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Some people go crazy for respect. My boyfriend being one. He turns on this charm for it that makes me weak in the knees. He does his award-winning smile. It's what got us together (his adorable personality.) My stomach gets a weird tingley feeling; I don't know what's it called.

He was a good boyfriend always telling me the truth and helping me along in the life. I think that's why I loved him so much because he was raw.

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It was a dark evening when Sebastian made a surprise visit at my house. It was so shocking because I even made arrangements to go over to my friends, Jace's.

After opening my door to find Sebastian's pale face, I opened my door wider as a symbol for him to come in. He kissed me sweetly on my lips. While he was close, I inhaled his delicious, musky scent. He pulled back and locked me up and down with lust in his eyes. My heart beat wildly. It was so loud that he could probably hear it. The feeling in the pit of my stomach came back. The blood in my ears flowing, I could barely make out what he was saying in his husky voice. "Where are you going dressed like that?" "Out", I shakily replied, still momentarily stunned. "Where to? So help me God, you better not being to that Jace's!", he practically growled at me. I could feel his mood and the atmosphere change to one danger. "I...I...would never", I stammered, "Don't lie to me!" He screamed. "Your whoring round behind my back, giving me no respect." He stepped closer. I stepped black. "Silly little girl. No one wants you." He stepped closer. I stepped back. "Your a fat little cow. All your good for...no wait you are good for nothing!" "So why are you with me then?" I challenged. I knew it was a mistake after I said it but I couldn't help myself this time. I had had enough of the same insults over and over again. I angered him even more. He gave a dark chuckle and replied, "Ah, see here Clarissa. I am doing you a favour by giving you the truth. Your unlovable, Clarissa. Why do you think you are alone? Why do you think your parents are never home? Your not good enough for them." He stepped closer. I stepped back. I was at the couch and I stumbled over it. He gave me a wicked grin and the same lust filled eyes were staring back at me. This was dangerous.

He straddled my hips. I tried to push him off. His hands caught both of my wrists and he pinned them above my head. He leaned his head down, his lips just hovering over mine- they were ghosts. Suddenly, he pressed his lips down forcefully. I wanted to resist but I couldn't. I never could. it's always easier when I didn't. I softened my lips and opened them granting him access. His other hand made work of my blouse: ripping, shredding, and destroying it. My bra was next to go. He moved his hand over to my boobs roughly grabbing them and pinching my nipples. It hurt. it hurt so much but no sound made it's way out of my mouth. Both his hand and mouth moved south of my body. I always hated this part. He started biting my breasts while he ripped the rest of my clothes off and roughly unbuttoned his pants so he could pull them down just enough.

It happened. I lay there limp as he thrust his hips into my pelvic bone. My mind ignoring what was happening. I just stopped...

It wasn't long before he was finished and nearly out the door. He stopped and said "You are mine! And I demand respect. I will get respect! He left and I was alone with my thoughts and that was a lot more terrifying.

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Worthless. Unlovable. Pathetic.

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People crave for respect. People demand respect. Some people go crazy for respect. And some go crazy because of it.

What is respect? Respect? It ruins minds.