Okay, so I normally wouldn't ever in my wildest dreams write Sherlock/Watson smut, but this is for my good friend who just started college. I'm really proud of her and I did my best. (I wonder if you can tell where I gave up?)

It was with some trepidation I stepped forward. The floor of the apartment had been entirely covered in glitter. The chairs were coated with it, it was somehow sticking to the walls, and there in the center of the sparkly explosion was Sherlock.

I felt the shopping bags drop out of my hands as I walked forward, the glitter making small crunching noises as I stepped on it, like sand on a beach.

"Sherlock…? What the hell is going on here?"

He swung towards me, his hands caked in the shining stuff. He swung his arms out wide, an excited grin plastered on his face.

"Isn't it obvious John?"

"Er, no, it isn't. All I'm seeing is a sea of glitter. On my chair."

"Oh pssh, you can clean your chair. You remember that movie we watched last night? The one with the crazed gunman in it? Sniper or something?"

"Er, you mean Shooter. And actually he was an assassin. But what in the world does that have to do with this?" I gestured to the small glitter sea on the floor. "And who the bloody hell do you expect to pick this up?"

"John, John. You're not focusing here!"

"Oh for the love of- Fine. What am I missing here Sherlock?"

"Well you remember that scene where the guy that wasn't the president gets shot and his head totally blows to pieces?"

"Oh yeah Sherlock totally."

"Well that wouldn't actually happen in real life. Cause of physics n shit."

"Oh whoa Sherly. Dat's too spooky."

"God shut up Jawn. I'm trying to explain here. So this massive awesome glittery dump here is like totally what the bloodstain would actually look like." I take a closer look and holy shit, this thing is beautiful. It's like the Madonna of glitter-bloodstains.

"Whoa, dang Locky-poo, ur so smart."

"Damn straight. And that poor bastard wouldn't just loose his head either. The bullet would actually sink through his body; its velocity causing his limbs to fly off and completely decimating his body into a pulpy mess."

"Oh whoa Sherlock. That's hot."

"I know Jahn. Now let's do it."

And so they did. Right on top of the glitter pile. They didn't have any lube either. Just glitter.

And then Ms. Whateverherface walks in on them. And she has a heart attack. CAUSE OF THE AWESOMENESS.