Author's note: I finally figured out why my text was dense and a little stale - I need to be showing, not telling! Less talky, more doey. This is my first real fic in more years than I care to remember, and my third attempt overall. I'm going to be pretty fucking rusty, and it's up to you if you want to go on this ride with me. That being said, I proudly present: Trickles - A story set in a post apocalyptic universe where there aren't any other X Men (yet?) because I wanted to focus on quality of characters over quantity of characters this try. It has a weird ass name because I'm going to be transcribing one small chunk of text at a time, so as not to overwhelm myself. The following is my attempt to transcribe the first draft version of the prologue.
Constructive criticism would be immensely helpful.
(Original Text:)
Logan had been alone for some time when he finally came back to himself. He could tell, because the room was filthy with his waste, and his body felt dessicated, like the cheap trucker's jerky sold at the most remote stops in the Northern Wilds. Thirst couldn't kill him, but oh how he wished he were dead. He also knew he was suffering the mother of all hangovers from withdrawing from the cocktail of drugs they had used to keep him stupefied and docile.
(Revised copy:)
"Rrngh…" Pain like shards of glass blossomed along his throat. Fuck. His throat hurt. His head hurt. In fact, his entire body ached like nothing he'd ever felt before. What the hell did I do last night to deserve this kind of hangover? The slow trickle of information started percolating around in his aching mind then.
Oh god. I'm not in the camper sleepin' it off. They got me back. They got me and I'm in some god damned lab like an animal again. What did they do to me? I'm near dead, why didn't they finish the job? He took a quick mental stock of his body. I'm in a rough way. I gotta.. I gotta get out of here. It don't look like they're coming back for me. What happened?
Well, Bub, time to rescue yourself again. Questions can come later.
End Notes: Well? Am I on the right track? Please let me know!