Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Ok! I have dyslexia. So I don't spell very good. Please bare with me...
"It's only a part time job... nothing to worry about..." Itachi thought.
Being in the Akasuki didn't really bring in a lot of money. When it did, Kakuzu normally took it all... Itachi was in desperate need for money. He needed a solution...
And what was the solution...?
Thats right.
To get a part time job...
Itachi was in his room, putting on the new uniform.
"It's itchy..." He conplained.
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
"Oh crap! I can't let Kisame see me in this!" Itachi thought. Before he could get off the new uniform, the door was opened.
But it wasn't Kisame...
It was worse.
MUCH worse...
It was Tobi.
"HI ITACHI-SAN. TOBI WANTED TO KNOW IF--!" He stopped, starring.
Itachi sweatdropped. "Uhh..." He began.
"PIZZA MAN. TOBI WANTS A PIZZA WITH FROSTING PLEASE!" Tobi said while twirling.
"Tobi! It's a part time job! OK!" Itachi yelled. He was wearing a pizza boy outfit.
"Ohhhhhh..." Tobi said, stopping.
There was silence.
"CAN TOBI HELP!?" Tobi jumped into the air happily.
"NO!"
"Pleaseeeee! Tobi will be a good pizza boy!" He called, saluting.
"NO!" Itachi yelled, ready to use his mangako sharingan.
"... Tobi will tell everyone about the Christmas party" Tobi said. Itachi could swear the kid was smirking under his mask.
"Fine!" Itachi yelled, throwing a spare uniform to him. "Put this on." He ordered.
"Hai! Other sempai!" Tobi called, saluting again. He bent down and grabbed the bottom of his Akasuki robe.
"NO!" Itachi yelled quickly. He pointed out of the room. "In YOUR room! I'll come and get you when It's time to go..."
"OK OTHER SEMPAI! TOBI WILL BE A GOOD BOY!" He called out and skipped out of the room.
Itachi knocked on Tobi's door. "C'mon kid! Time to go!" He called in. Tobi opened the door, dressed in his pizza boy uniform.
"Tobi... your pants go on the BOTTOM..." He sighed.
"Ohhhhh..." Tobi muttered as he closed the door again.
Itachi heard noises coming from behind the door such as, glass braking, things falling over, a cat screeching, more glass braking, a chicken, a wolf howling, more broken glass, and another cat. Tobi opened the door with his pants on the bottom this time. Itachi peered into his room from over Tobi's shoulder.
His room was pink.
"Ready other sempai!" Tobi called while twirling.
Itachi sighed. "C'mon..." He muttered and walked over the the exit, being sure not to be seen.
Deidara came down the hall, Itachi dived under the table. "Hide Tobi!" He hissed. Tobi stood in the middle of the hall.
"HI SEMPAIIIII!" Tobi screamed, running up and giving his sempai a hug. Deidara's eye twitched.
"GET OFF ME, UN!" He yelled, pushing Tobi onto the ground and walking away.
"Bye bye sempai! TOBI LUFFS YOUUUU!" He called.
Itachi sweatdropped yet again. "Why did I say he could come..." he muttered.
When they got outside, a truck was sitting there. It had a huge plastic pizza sitting on top of it. Tobi let out a squee and tackled it.
"Tobi doesn't like this pizza!" He conplained. "It hurts Tobi's face..."
"Thats plastic you moron!" Itachi called. He opened the back of the pizza truck. "Get in."
"Can Tobi drive?"
"NO."
"But--!"
"I SAID NO."
"Christmas partyyyyy!"
"... Fine..."
"YAYYYYY!"
Tobi ran into the front seat. Itachi sitting in the chair next to him.
"Ok... go." He muttered.
Tobi pushed the gas. The truck flew lightning speed into a lamp post.
"OK. YOUR NOT DRIVING!" Itachi yelled.
"Tobi just wet Tobi's pants..." Tobi announced.
Itachi was driving. Tobi was in the back, squished with all the pizza boxes.
"Tobi is bored!" Tobi called.
"Then find a way to entertain yourself!" Itachi snarled.
Tobi Begin to rapidly kick Itachi's seat.
"NOT. LIKE. THAT!" Itachi roared, with a huge anime anger vain.
"Look other sempai! TOBI FOUND A BUNNY!" He called, holding up a possum.
"Where the hell did you get that!?" Itachi yelled, wide eyed.
"Tobi found it."
"Get rid of it!"
"Tobi likes it. Can Tobi keep it?"
"NO!"
"But it likes Tobi!"
The possum was snarling and scratching at Tobi's mask.
"Get rid of it!"
"Tobi is going to call it Fluffy."
"TOBI!"
"Christmas party!"
"... Keep it on a leash, ok?"
"HAI! OTHER SEMPAI!"
Tobi hugged his new possum. It snarled and tried to bite him.
"FLUFFY WANTS ITACHI-SEMPAI TO PET HIM!"
"NO!"
"You hurt Fluffy's feelings..."
"I don't care!"
"... Sempai...?"
"What?"
"... Tobi made a stinky..."
Itachi gagged. "Didn't Deidara potty train him!?" He thought.
"Ok Tobi. This is our first delivery. Be good. And don't talk. Got it?" Itachi asked.
"GOT IT OTHER SEMPAI!" Tobi screamed, twirling with Fluffy who was foaming at the mouth.
"Good..." Itachi was holding the pizza box. He knocked on the door. Out stepped Anko.
"Pizza..." Itachi muttered.
"HELLO FRIEND OF SEMPAI!" Tobi called. "THIS IS TOBI'S BUNNY! FLUFFY!" He screamed, shoving the possum into Anko's face.
She screamed and slapped the door in their faces.
"TOBI!" Itachi roared.
"Tobi is sorry sempai!" Tobi muttered. Fluffy was clawing at his mask again.
"Next time, your staying in the truck..."
"Hai! Sempai!" Tobi called, saluting.
They walked back to the truck. Itachi shoved Tobi and Fluffy in the back before walking to the driver's seat.
"Who are we going to next!?" Tobi called.
"Some freak named Gai..." Itachi muttered, looking at the delivery list.
He pushed the gas and drove on. The only sounds were of Tobi conplaining, and Fluffy snarling. Itachi could of killed himself right there.
They finaly came to a stop by Gai's house. "Now you stay in here," Itachi snapped.
Tobi nodded. Itachi grabbed the pizza and stepped out of the truck. He walked up the drive way and knocked on the door. "Pizza!" He called.
The door swung open. Gai was standing there. With rollers in his hair and a face mask. Itachi gagged again.
"HELLO YOUTHFUL PIZZA BOY OF YOUTHHHH!" Gai screamed. "HAVE YOU COME TO DELIVER MY YOUTHFUL PIZZA OF YOUTH!?"
"Uh huh... that will be $16.23..." He muttered.
"GAI-SENSEI! IS THAT THE YOUTHFUL PIZZA OF YOUTHFUL YOUTH-NESS!?" Lee's voice called.
Itachi peered in to see team Gai sitting in the room. Neji and Tenten were tied up.
"Help us..." Tenten mouthed.
Itachi sweatdropped. "Uhhh... here..." He said while shoving the pizza to Gai.
"WHAT A YOUTHFUL PIZZA GAI-SENSEI!" Lee called.
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
They hugged with a sunset background. Neji whacked his head on the table.
Itachi backed away and slowly closed the door.
"NO! DON'T LEAVE US!" Tenten and Neji screamed before the door slammed shut.
"Ok Tobi. Last delivery..." Itachi muttered. "Finally..." He thought.
Tobi was skipping around the truck with Fluffy in a head lock.
"OK OTHER SEMPAI!" He screamed.
Itachi sweatdropped again. After what seemed forever, the truck came to it's final destination. He opened the truck door, grabbed the pizza, and walked out.
"Hurry back other sempai!" Tobi called out.
Itachi knocked on the door.
"This place seems familiar..." He muttered.
The door swung open.
"Heres your piz--!" He froze.
Standing in front of him.
Was none other then...
Sasuke Uchiha.
Itachi quickly slid his hat down, hoping to cover some of his face. He cleared his throat and said in a deep voice, "Here's your pizza sir..."
Sasuke grabbed it. He looked at Itachi closely. "Do... I know you...?" He asked.
Itachi sweatdropped. "Uhh... uhhh... nope! I've never seen you in my life!" Itachi gave a nervous laugh.
"Okkk..." Sasuke muttered.
"HI ITACHI-SEMPAI'S BROTHER! I AM TOBI! TOBI IS HELPING ITACHI DELIVER PIZZAS!" Tobi called.
Sasuke dropped the pizza.
"Itachi... Uchiha..." He growled.
"OH HOLY CRAP!" Itachi screamed. He ran and dove into the pizza truck, trying as fast as he could to start the truck.
"ITACHI UCHIHA!!!" Sasuke screamed, running at the truck.
Itachi pushed the gas, Sasuke clung to the side of the truck, Tobi was running in circles screaming, "WHEEEEEEEEEE!"
Fluffy jumped out of the window, snarling at Sasuke. It dug it's claws into his face. Sasuke screamed and fell off the side of the truck. Itachi pushed the gas harder.
"FFFLLLLUUUUUFFFFFFFFFYYYYYY!" Tobi screamed with his head out the window.
"What a day..." Itachi moaned as he limped back to the Akasuki base. Tobi was skipping behind him.
"That was fun other sempai! When can we do it again!?" He called happily.
"Never... again..." Itachi growled. He opened the door.
And who was there?
The WHOLE Akasuki.
"Where have you been...?" Zetsu asked.
"Uhhh..." Itachi sweatdropped.
"ITACHI-SEMPAI AND TOBI WERE DELIVERING PIZZAS!" Tobi announced, twirling again.
The whole Akasuki cracked up.
Itachi smacked his head into the wall.
"Damn part time jobs..."
The end! 8DDD Please review.
If your wondering about the Christmas party... Itachi got drunk and jumped on a table while singing the numa numa song...
HOKAY. My friend Sour wrote this as an alternate ending. 8D ENJOY.
Sasuke: RAwr! ITACHI I PWN UUUUUU!
Itachi: ...
Sasuke: WHY NOT CHO TAK MIND SLAF?
Itachi: O-o;;;
Sasuke: YUOOKSCAWEED?
Itachi: How did YOU survive, again?
Sasuke: MEH BRAVEWEY. AND DAH POWER OF BWEAKFAST CEWEALZ.
Tobi: -falls from the ceiling and uses Fluffy's tail as a cocking trigger-
Chichiik I'm part of the family toooo! D8
Itachi: O-o;; How? Wait... Don--
Tobi: I'm your mother! -points to Itachi- and I'm also your pet rabbit that ran away! -points to Sasuke-
Sasuke: -sniffle- O-o Haku?
Tobi: Sasuke? -hug each other-
Itachi: O-O;; .. Yeeeah. I'll put this one on the house... -drives off- And so our anti hero --- okay, villain drove off into the sunset, ditching the only relatives he had plus their pet possum behind with some delicious Domino pizza. The end.