The first time he had noticed her was in their 6th year of Hogwarts. It had been after Potter put Draco in the hospital wing with that spell he couldn't quite remember.
He had been to visit Draco, figuring it was what friends did, when he saw her in the corner of the room, hunched over an ancient looking desk. She had been scribbling furiously, the sound of her quill scratching the parchment echoing in the almost silent room.
She looked about his age, his year and from the trim of the grey cardigan she wore, she was in Ravenclaw. He couldn't see her face properly, only the long blonde hair that fell past her shoulders in tumbling waves, yet he was fascinated by her. He continued to watch as she carried on writing, occasionally shifting in her seat or stretching her legs underneath the desk.
He forgot all about his best friend lying in the bed beside him until Madam Pomfrey appeared, blocking his view of her.
He reluctantly stood up as he was told visiting hours were over and slowly made his way to the door but not before looking at the girl once more. He thought he would be able to sneak one last undetected glance however, as he turned to look at her, he found blue eyes staring right back. Their eyes locked, almost intensely and she gave him a small smile before she turned away and he walked of the hospital wing.
He made several trips back to the hospital wing, silently thanking Potter for seriously harming Draco enough that he had to remain there for a while.
He sat by Draco's bed every day yet he never spoke to her once. He merely sat and watched her as she worked. He had figured out early on that she was some sort of assistant to Madam Pomfrey, after watching her dressing a first year Hufflepuff's grazed knee.
Watching her somehow eased his soul. She made him forget about the impending war, his mother's letters, demanding he side with You Know Who, the internal struggle he was facing every day. And the fact he was scared. Terrified even, of what was to come. She had a glow that made him feel warm and as he watched her help people, it made him want to smile.
But he never did. He never smiled much anymore and if he did, it was only ever to appease Pansy or his mother.
It was on his seventh visit to see Draco, who was still drowsy and spent most of the visit asleep that the blonde Ravenclaw finally came over to him.
"You must really care about him." She had said, smiling down at him, "You've been in here almost twice a day, every day."
He shrugged in response, not quite knowing how to reply to her. It wasn't that he was a good friend, he thought, because seeing Draco was not the reason he was in there so much. But that was something he couldn't tell her.
"He's my friend." Was his simple reply and it earned him a wide smile.
"Well," she started, biting her lip, "He's lucky to have you." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I'm Rachel by the way, Rachel Somerby."
"Blaise Zabini." He managed to mutter some sort of reply to her, although his voice was so quiet, he was surprised she had heard him.
"I know,"
With another smile, she walked away from him and towards a moaning Gryffindor two beds away. That was the last time he saw her in the hospital wing. He had cursed Draco inwardly for days for complaining so much that Madam Pomfrey had saw fit to discharge him early, just to stop his incessant whining.
***
He saw her more frequently after that. Having gone from never seeing her before, she was around every corner he turned, every corridor he walked down and every class he had. It made him wonder how he had never noticed her before because now, he couldn't help but see her every move.
It was late night or more accurately early morning when he saw her alone again for the first time since the Hospital Wing.
He had decided to go to the library to study but more than that, it was to get away from all the Slytherin talk of You Know Who. He wasn't interested in any of it and he knew his pretence was starting to wear thin with his fellow house mates.
And it was there that he spotted her, alone at a table by the window, working away. He stopped where he was, deliberating where to sit. Did he dare sit with her? At risk of being caught by his house mates? To be accused of not being dedicated to the cause for talking to a Claw? However, the decision was made for him when she finally looked up and smiled in his direction, waving him over. His feet moved without him directing them and he found himself at her table.
"I'm surprised to find you in here." She smiled before she bit her lip, frowning. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just mean that it's late; no one is ever in here this late." She explained and smiled at him again, "Do you want to sit here? No point being lonely is there?"
He didn't reply but he did sit down and got his things out, spreading them out on the desk. He watched as she leant over to see what he was doing,
"Oh I'm doing potions too, we can help each other if you want?" She had asked and just like that, they became somewhat friends.
Not the type of friends he was with Draco but something entirely different. She wanted nothing from him, except sometimes the answers to her potions essays and she didn't push him into talking about anything he didn't want to. There was no mention of You Know Who, of Death Eaters and purebloods and instead, she talked about her family, what she loved and hated and somehow managed to get him to talk about his turbulent relationship with his mother.
He found himself craving their conversations more each day. And he wasn't too sure what that meant.
***
The next time he saw her after their 6th year was at the Final Battle. He had spotted her blonde hair amongst the fighting students, watched her briefly as she held her own in spectacular fashion but it was only when they stood on opposite sides of the court yard did he really see her.
Her usually glowing hair was matted, coated in both blood and dirt and her face was much the same. He supposed that he looked no better and as their eyes locked, he saw her give him a small, sad smile.
They were on opposite sides and despite their friendship, it seemed in that moment that fact could not be overcome. The difference in sides had never mattered that much until that point in time and it was then he cursed himself for pining for a girl who fought on the opposite side.
She stood for everything he was taught to hate.
He responded with his own sad smile and they continued to stare at each other until everyone around them had started to disperse. It was only then that they both turned away, reluctantly as they went their separate ways.
He surprised himself when he returned to Hogwarts to finish the last of his NEWT exams. He was one of only a few Slytherins who had dared to walk the halls of the castle once more. He had ignored his mother's wishes, her disappointment with him and his choices and decided on his own merit that he would complete his schooling and make something of himself.
What he hadn't expected was to find her walking the same halls. Or maybe he did.
He stopped short when he came across her walking towards him. As soon as she noticed him, she gave him a smile, her usual greeting but she didn't stop to talk to him. As she walked past him, her perfume lingering in the air, he silently cursed himself and blurted out the only thing that came to mind.
"You look better then when I last saw you." His voice was loud in the silent, empty corridor and he winced as he heard his voice, pathetic and croaky, practically unused since he started back.
She turned slowly and bit her lip as she looked at him. "So do you. You look different too."
She continued to stare at him and he felt unnerved by her words. What did 'different' mean? Was it a good thing? Or bad?
"Different how?"
It was then she gave him the widest smile he had ever seen her give and he felt his heart flutter slightly.
"Like the weight on your shoulders has finally been lifted."
She said no more and walked down the corridor, leaving him to analyse her words over and over as he headed to his single dorm; McGonagall's idea of not causing too much drama by having him back in his old house.
He walked back with a small smile on his face.
***
He saw her next when he turned up on her door, barely able to stand as he feebly knocked, barely making an impact. She had heard though and he listened to shuffling feet and the clicks of the locks opening before his legs gave away and he fell to the floor.
"Blaise?" Her voice held a concern he hadn't heard in so long, not one directed at him. He felt himself being levitated and he closed his eyes, unable to take the pain that came with keeping them open. When he felt a soft surface beneath him, he opened one eye to find her looking down on him, her bottom lip between her teeth, "What happened?"
"Mother's current husband." He managed to get out before he groaned as he felt an ache in his tender stomach.
He heard her rustling around and relaxed as she placed her hands on his head, gently stroking his short, shaved hair before she began to check him for wounds.
She had become a healer after Hogwarts, that much he knew even though he had not spoken to her since they graduated. He had overheard her name mentioned as he sat in a small coffee shop; the pair of girls, whom he recognised as former Ravenclaws, talking about how far she had come in her training and that she was the first apprentice healer to be allowed to work on patients alone, without supervision.
He'd felt a strange sense of pride at hearing that. He always knew she would be great.
He came around some hours later, feeling less pain than earlier on. He sighed in pure relief and opened his eyes. Glancing around the small apartment he was in, he smiled slightly as he realised it reminded him of her; books scattered everywhere, parchments and quills all over the place and several mugs spread over every surface.
He found her sitting a small armchair, knees to her chest and eyes closed. He had forgotten how good it made him feel to simply watch her. It filled him with an indescribably feeling of warmth and goodness and he knew then that could watch her forever.
Perhaps he was going sentimental now he was in his mid-twenties or perhaps the Slytherin in him was finally gone, leaving him his own man. Whatever it was, he didn't care too much. He just knew he enjoyed the new feeling.
She opened her eyes, as though she knew she was being watched and as soon as she realised he was awake, she jumped up and was by his side in seconds.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, biting her lip again. "You took a pretty bad beating."
"I'll live." They were the only words he could think of that didn't sound like lies.
"You scared me." She whispered the words so quietly he thought he was hearing things but as he took in her expression, he knew he had heard her right.
Unable to think of anything to say, he reached a stiff arm up to caress her face with his hand. He watched as she closed her eyes at the contact and feeling brave, he pulled her face to his and did the one thing he had wanted to do since the moment he saw her in the hospital wing all those years ago.
He kissed her.
And in that moment, he wasn't a Slytherin tainted by You Know Who's influence or the Mark nor was he a failure of a son who could do no right in his mother's eyes.
He was just Blaise Zabini.
And it felt good.