Title: It's a Boy!
Author: L.A.K.
Summary: The Janitor writes a birth notice for his and Lady's new baby. Just a weird little idea that came to me...
Disclaimer: Scrubs was created by Bill Lawrence and produced first by NBC and now ABC. I own zilcho, nada.
IT'S A BOY!
MATTHEWS (née WILLIAMS):
Lady and the Janitor are proud to announce the safe arrival of
JOHN MICHAEL DORIAN
Born exactly midnight on February 29, 2010, weighing 5.79lb.
First grandchild of Him Sr, Crazy Witch, Sister-Mom, Brother-Dad, and He Who Cannot Be Named For Legal Reasons.
Delivered in the freshly mopped broom closet three weeks early because he was so determined to get started on his life mission of tracking down the whiny-faced doctor who bears his name.
"That's my boy," Janitor whispered to his new son before going up to the bedroom to show Lady.
Lady read it and burst into laughter. "Oh honey, you can't put that in the newspaper!"
Janitor stared at his artistic masterpiece – He had handwritten it with a paintbrush he'd made himself by taking a length of yarn from his favourite mop – then back at his wife. "Why not?" he asked. "Should I replace 'whiny-faced doctor' with 'I-think-I'm-a-man-of-the-people-but-now-thanks-to-the-Janitor-everyone-knows-I'm-a-fraud-and-I-have-egg-on-my-face doctor'?"
"I don't think—"
"Or 'Pepe La Fritz'?"
Lady smiled and touched her husband's hand. "No, dear. I just don't think other people appreciate your sense of humour."
"What humour?" Janitor wondered.
Lady laughed again. "You loveable galoot," she murmured.
Janitor blinked, and waited for the Janitorial Dimension and the Normal Dimension to click back together. He was used to it and had learned to just smile and nod. "Okay, dear. You get some rest and I'll come up with a new baby notice."
He kissed her and went to find a pen, because apparently that's what normal people wrote with.