The Lifestyles of the Chipmunks and Chipettes
(1 Unless you are Simon or Brittany, don't try to break up a Raven and Jeanette fight. This is why . . .
Jeanette: Guys, where is my Geometry book?
Kayden: Raven has it. She wants to see how long you survive without it.
Jeanette: *rolls her eyes* RAVVEN!
*Five minutes later*
Raven: Jean, I was trying to help you. Jeez, no wonder Simone flirts with me instead of you.
Jeanette: *growls in frustration* Raven, you are not helping me. Your making it worse.
Raven: Well, I'm sorry, but you need help. Kayden, back me up on this.
Kayden: No, last time I said something, Jeanette and SImon sent me to the hospital.
Jeanette: Thank you. Now, quit messing with my stuff, Raven!
Raven: If I didn't know any better, I would say your just upset about what happened last week.
Jeanette: *eyes turning red* Well, maybe if you would stop flirting with my boyfriend, it wouldn't have happened.
Raven: Whatever, Jeanette. You know, I think me and Simon would be a cute couple.
Jeanette: Over my dead body! *tackles Raven*
Kayden: Ladies, surely you don't need to use violence . . . *tries to split them apart*
Raven: Stay out of it, Kayden! *throws Kayden into the wall*
Venus: I'll call the vet, again.
(2 No using your powers at school!
Si/Jean/Kay/Sam: *glare at the others*
Al/Britt/Rav/Venus: What?!
Simon: Remember the time you blew up the science lab because you all had a fight about what colors to use in the test tubes?
Alvin: Well, in my defense, Brittany wanted to use pink. . .
Jeanette: That didn't mean you had to fight with your powers at school! You almost got expelled!
Raven: Well, maybe if Venus wasn't such a small minded chipmunk, it never would have happened!
Venus: Oh, shut up Raven. You're the one who-
Kayden: SHUT UP! All four of used your powers, so why are you trying to blame each other? We still have to pay for the new science lab equitment.
Theodore: You know, you guys are being really childish! And I should know!
Eleanor: Yeah, seriously. You guys just need to cool it.
(3 If you play and Brittany Spears music, expect Brittany to personally send you to the vet.
Brittany: Well, I'm the star! Brittany Spears is just coping me, so I won't allow her music!
Jeanette: Well, to be honest, she's older then us, so you stole her name . . .
Brittany: Nonesense, Jeanette! Why would I try to be like her, when I am way better!
Jeanette: *eye roll* You know Brittany, I have more important things to do than argue with you right now. *Begins to walk away*
Sam: * Walks by singing 'I wanna go' by Brittney Spears*
Brittany: *growls, throws Sam across the room*
Jeanette: *sighs* Another call to the vet.
(4 Don't take Raven's glasses
Raven: Has anyone seen my glasses? *falls down stairs, caught by Simone*
Simone: I will be your guiding eyes through the road of life, do not fear.
Raven: Oh, Simone, you always know what to say.
Jeanette: *walks into room* Hey, 'sup?
Simone: Hello, are you an Angel from above? Or am I just day dreaming?
Jeanette: *eye roll* Raven, here let me help you. *Carries Raven into their room*
Raven: Okay, whew. *shuts her eyes, then opens* Sam has my glasses.
Jeanette: Want me to get him?
Raven: No, just close all of the entrences, and surround you and the room. Sam, come on! Mob Wives is on!
Sam: *walks in room with pepsi and popcorn* Awesome! Wait, how would you- OH CRAP! HELP!"
Jeanette: *Covers the exits with a force field, and hands Raven her glasses*
Raven: CRYSTAL FOCAS KICK!
(5 When you tell Simon his Simone moments, make sure Jeanette and Raven aren't there.
Simon: Yeah, it always ends up with them pulling my arms, and Kayden getting jealous.
Jeanette: Well, maybe if Simone would stop flirting with my sister, that wouldn't happen.
Simon: I have nothing to do with this, so don't blame me.
Raven: I don't care who it is, I want more of it. *winks*
Simon: *facepalm* Raven, you are not helping right now.
Alvin: How do you do it, Si? All the girls are swooning over you.
Simon: Alvin, you aren't helping either. And, it isn't me, it's Simone.
Alvin: But they keep ending up wanting you. Remember last week when we went out with Dev-
Simon: *covers Alvin's mouth* We will not speak of that. That was Simone.
Jeanette: Oh, what happened?
Simon: You know what, I think I'm gonna go hang out with uh . . . Simonette4eva!
Simonette4eva: Oh, let's go watch Star Trek! Let me go get my pepsi.
Jeanette: *steps on Simon's tail* Sorry, but he's busy explaining what happened last week when you went out.
(6 What happens when you mess with Raven Miller
Jeanette, Brittany, and Kayden will hunt you down, and that won't be pretty.
Raven: *outside by herself, singing S.O.S*
Jeanette: *sees Raven by herself* Raven, what's wrong?
Raven: Oh nothing, just the fact Ryan and his guys won't leave me alone. They keep calling me 'The Rat Queen'.
Jeanette: *growls in anger*
The next day
Ryan: Oh, look it's the Rats."
Brittany: Haha, very funny. But when all of us assemble, you won't be laughing. *snaps fingers*
Everybody: *appears out of nowhere*
Jeanette: Ryan, Simon and Alvin have already beat you up before. Now, multiply the pain by eight. ATTACK!
Twenty minutes later
Jeanette: Good job, troops! Now, we just need to get past Dave and detention . . .
(7 Kayden cannot have popcorn
Simonette4eva: *watching Star Trek with Simon*
Simon: *reaches for popcorn* Hey, where's the popcorn?
Kayden: *snickering* Hey, Si, where's Raven?
Simon: Uh, with Sam and Alvin . . . *sweatdrop*
*five minutes later*
Raven: Guys, call the vet. Sam and Kayden had a little mishap . . .
(8 When you Mess with Simon Seville . . .
Jeanette: I will find you and I will hurt you.
Venus: She isn't lying. Remember last week?
*flashback*
Alvin: Si, can I borrow twenty bucks?
Simon: Why do you need twenty dollars.
Alvin: I lost a bet.
Simon: Well, I am not going to pay your bet.
Alvin: Please?
Simon: No. *pullls out wallet* I've been saving up.
Alvin: *tackles Simon*
Jeanette: *pulls Alvin off of Simon* CRYSTAL FOCAS PUNCH!
*end of flashback*
Alvin: Yeah, and I was in the vet's office for a month!
(9 When it comes to singing lead. . .
Alvin/Britt: I'll sing lead! *glare at each other*
Jeanette: Before you two start, why can't we just-
Alvin/Britt: BUD OUT JEAN!
Jeanette: Why can't I sing lead?
Brittany: Cause I sing lead, Jean.
Alvin: Yeah, and if we let you sing lead, you'll trip and fall off the stage! *starts laughing*
Britt: Alvin, don't laugh at my sister!
Alvin: Why not? And, it's true, Britt.
Brittany: And? Why the munk do you-
Simon: WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP!
Raven: Yeah. How about a competion to see who gets lead.
Simon: That sounds . . . promising. But, Alvin and Brittany will end up killing each other.
Jeanette: Well, at least my sister has a reason.
Simon: Oh, so Alvin is just doing it for fun? Cause, last i checked, Brittany is a munkin'-
Raven: Stop you two! I'm sick and tired of-
Kayden: Oh, please Raven! Don't even start! You argue with Jeanette all the time over Simone, the most interesting munk in the world.
Raven: Kayden, now is really not the time-
Simon: Oh yeah! Well, at least Alvin can actually sing! Brittany sounds like a dying cow!
Jeanette: Oh yeah! Well, at least my brother doesn't smell like a rotting fish!
Simon: Oh yeah! Chipmunks vs. Chipettes! What do you think of that?
Eleanor: HIT IT!
*Girls of Rock and Roll plays*
Chipettes: (singing)
Sun goes down, I'm just getting up! I'm ready for the city lights!
Radio blasting on the way to the club, gonna rock this town tonight!
Your living in a man's world, they tell us! But we ain't gonna buy it! The things they trying to sell us now!
Cause we're the girls of Rock and Roll!
Brittany: Ohhhhhhhh!
Chipettes: Cause we're the girls of rock and roll!
Brittany: Rock . . .. and Roll . . . .
Simon: Oh yeah!
Chipmunks: The curtains up, and I'm ready to go!
My guitar is in my hand!
There is nothing I'd rather do than play in a rock n' roll band!
Simon: Yeah!
Chipmunks: What we have is what we'll be given
headed for the top
Simon: Don't you know?
Chipmunks: We never stop believing now! We're the boys of Rock n roll!
Simon: You better believe it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Chipmunks: We're the boys of Rock n' roll! Rock n roll!
Chipettes: We are the girls we are the girls we are the girls of rock n roll!
Chipmunks: We are the boys we are the boys we are the boys of rock n roll!
Chipmunks: Cause we're the boys of rock n roll!
Simon: You better believe it, Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Chipettes: Yeah, we're the girls of rock N' roll!
Brittany: You better believe it that we are
Chipmunks: Yeah, we're the boys of rock N' roll!
Simon: Rock N' Roll!
Chipettes: Yeah we're the girls of rock n' roll!
Brittany: Rock n' roll yeah roll!
Chipmunks: Yeah we're the boys of rock n roll!
Simon: ROCK N' ROLL!
Chipettes: Yeah we're the girls of rock n roll!
Brittany: Rock n roll and roll!
Simon: Gonna rock n a roll and rock and a roll and a gonna rock and roll! *song over*
Alvin: Hey, good job, Si. Pretty soon you'll be as good as me!
Brittany: Yeah, whatever. Obviously, Simon gets lead . . .
Simon: What if I don't want to lead . . . *panting*
Everyone: SIMON!
Simon: Okay, if you insist *sarcastically*
(10 Do not bring up Kaven around Raven and Kayden
Raven: Yeah, why do we even have a couple name anyway?
Kayden: Because our fans ship us. Like Simonette.
Raven: But they're dating. We aren't.
Kayden: They got the couple name before they started dating.
Raven: So your impling we are going to go out?
Kayden: I never said that.
Raven: But your implying it.
Kayden: Why are you so-
Simon: Don't say it. Alvin got sent to the vet's earlier for calling Brittany any names.
Jeanette: Yeah, and if you make Raven mad, I have to join the fun.
Kayden: But . . .
Venus: Just don't. You lose in every argument with her. I don't want to call the . . . *CRASH!*
Theodore: OWWW!
Venus: . . . Vet. *sigh*
(11 Don't go in the lab if you are not Simon, Jeanette, Raven, or Kayden.
Alvin: I said I was sorry!
Jeanette: You ruined my science project! *eye twitches*
Alvin: I was just trying to ask Simon to help me with my math!
Raven: *coughs* How long do we have to stay with Aunt Jackie? Kayden will go crazy if he eats all that popcorn!
Jeanette: I don't know! Ask Alvin! Wait a minute, where is Simon?
Raven: Wait, I thought he said he was right behind us!
Venus: Alvin, why?
Alvin: What?
Venus: When Simon tried to leave, you spilled some of that hearthrobe potion on him.
Jeanette: Alvin, I am going to kill you! *eyes turn red*
Alvin: Why, he might take you out to dinner!
Jeanette: *rolls her eyes* Any idea on how long it will last?
Venus: Between an hour and two days.
Jeanette: I've lost my boyfriend. Because of you! *Turns to Alvin* CRYSTAL FOCAS PUNCH!
(12 Simon wasn't that bad.
Jeanette: Simon, can you hear me? *shakes his shoulder*
Simon: Jeanette, what's going on?
Jeanette: Alvin went in the lab and destroyed the house. We're staying with Aunt Jackie.
Simon: Where are the others?
Jeanette: Keeping Kayden away from Aunt Jackie's popcorn. Cameron and Saddie are still unpacking Alvin and Brittany's stuff.
Simon: Why do I feel so awful?
Jeanette: Because Alvin thought it was a good idea to put your love potion on you.
Simon: Why would he do that? Oh, so that would explain my weird dream.
Jeanette: What was it?
Simon: I was my cartoon self, and it was when i was trying to win that award for the most swave.
Jeanette: Our cartoons scare me. Hey, at least your not acting weird.
Simon: Yeah, um, where is Alvin?
Jeanette: Outside. He is a mix of guilty and annoyed.
Simon: Why would he be annoyed?
Jeanette: Because he didn't take your walet when he had the chance. And . . .
Alvin: *walks in with crutches* Hey, Si.
(13 When you mess with Jeanette Miller . . .
Simon, Brittany,Raven and everyone else will hunt you down.
Jeanette: *crying in room by herself*
Raven: Jean, what's wrong?
Jeanette: Nothing. Chealsea just needs to keep her paws off Simon . . .
Raven: Hey, don't let her get in your head.
Jeanette: She's to big to fit.
Raven: You know what I mean. What does she see in Simon anyway?
Jeanette: Everything I do. And Simon doesn't even notice.
Raven: Well, no girls ever really notice him. So he probably isn't used to it.
Jeanette: I'm not angry with him. He tries to push her away. But Chealsea has to low of an IQ to notice.
Raven: As your twin, I promise I will bring you to justice.
*At dinner*
Raven: Okay, Jeanette and Dave went to bed. We need to figure out a plan. Chealsea can't just walk all over my family.
Simon: Well, she's on the Cheerleading Squad. She . . . Hey, I got it!
Brittany: What?
Simon: Well, she probably has everyone at school on her contact list. Or on her facebook. We hack it, and say bad stuff and post ugly pictures.
Corey: But she's never taken a bad picture in her life.
Brittany: That's where I come in. I can sabotage her, I see her everyday.
Alvin: But, we need someone who she really likes to give us some secrets about her.
Everyone: *looks at Simon*
Simon: What? I'm not much of a flirt, let Alvin do it!
Alvin: I'll just teach you. Besides, she already likes you. Just talk to her into telling you her secrets, and boom! We've got revenge.
Corey: What do we do?
Raven: Oh easy! We keep Jeanette away from the sabotage! If Jeanette sees us personally hurting people for her, she gets kind of upset.
Corey: Then how will this make her happy?
Raven: Because when we're done, we'll show everything to her. She'll be estatic!
*Tomorrow at breakfast*
Jeanette: Eleanor, this omlet it amazing!
Eleanor: Thanks!
Raven: Hey, Jean. I signed us up for the physics club.
Jeanette: Are you sure? I mean-
Raven: Of course! Besides, I want to spend some time with my twin!
Jeanette: What's going on?
Si/Corey/Britt/Rav: Nothing.
Jeanette: Theodore? Could you please tell me?
Alvin: *covers Theodore's mouth with his hand* Come on, guys. We're gonna be late!
*First Period*
Simon: Alvin, you know I can't flirt with girls. I'm lucky if I can say anything sweet to Jeanette.
Alvin: It'll be fine. Just remember: Complement her. And look her in the eyes.
Simon: Why can't you do this?
Alvin: Because I'm going to be busy with Jeanette as my partner. Have to keep her destracted.
Simon: You . . .
Alvin: I won't flirt with your girlfrriend, jeez. Now, goodluck. Use your training well. Remember, you have your ear piece.
Simon: *rolls eyes. Walks and sits down next to Chealsea*
*end of class*
Simon: Hi. Listen, I wanted to know if you um . . .
Alvin: *through ear piece* ASK HER OUT!
Simon: Do you want to go um . . . *sigh, mutters sorry Jean* Do you want to go out with me?
Chealsea: OMG! Yes!
Simon: Great . . . Um, how about tonight at seven?
Chealsea: Awesome! Um, I'll meet you at Vinny's?
Simon: Uh . . . Sure. See you then.
Cheaslea: *winks, walks away* OMG, Simon Seville asked me out!
Alvin: Hey, bro, you did it!
Simon: Yeah, Jeanette is going to kill me. Tonight at seven?
Alvin: Just say you went to study at a friends house. Don't worry!
Corey: *through ear piece* Okay. Who is in Cheaslea's next class?
Raven: Me. We have art.
Simon: Who's gonna watch Jean?
Corey: I will. Okay, Raven you know what to do.
*In art class*
Raven: Hey Chealsea!
Chealsea: Hi . . . Um wanna be partners?
Raven: Of course!
Simon: *Ear piece* Okay, remember, paint.
Raven: Right.
Chealsea: Huh?
Raven: What? Oh nothing.
Ms. Ortega: Okay,class. Today I want you all to paint whatever is on your mind.
Raven: *raised hand*
Ms. Ortega: Yes?
Raven: Did you say 'whatever is on our mind?'
Ms. Ortega: *chuckled* Yes. You seem happy about that.
Simon: *through ear piece* She said whatever. Make sure you have a camera!
*Middle of class*
Chealsea: Raven, your an amazing artist.
Raven: Thank you. I was thinking of making a new piece, could you help?
Chealsea: Of course!
Raven: Okay, so stand up straight.
Chealsea: *did as told*
Raven: Now, take all of your hair down.
Chealsea: *did as told* How am I helping?
Raven: Great! Now, what is your least favorite color?
Chealsea: Easy. Green.
Raven: *picks up their green paint and dumps it all over Chealsea* Say cheese! *Takes picture, sends to Simon*
Brittany: *over ear piece* Retreat! She will attack!
Raven: Well, then I'll beat the munk out of her!
Brittany: Raven! Munks, meeting in auditorium! Now!
Corey: *over ear piece* Okay, me and Jeanette are going to watch the Chess Club.
*The Meeting*
Simon: Okay, let me see the picture.
Raven: *Hands phone to Simon*
Simon: Okay, I just hacked into her Facebook. *Uploads picture* Done.
Brittany: So, your taking her out do dinner?
Simon: Yeah. I feel like a cheater. Why couldn't Alvin just do it?
Raven: Because she likes you. And, Alvin has a deadly girlfriend.
Simon: So you think I'm safe? Do remember how long I was in the vet's office when I told her what happened when I went out with Devin for a guys night?
Kayden: Well, she got over it and was sorry. Besides, your doing it for her.
Brittany: And, plus, she knows you don't like Chealsea. Anyways, who's next?
Eleanor: I'm with her in Home Economics.
Jeanette: Guys? Are you in here?
Simon: Jean, where's Corey?
Jeanette: She went to the bathroom. Why?
Simon: Oh, no reason. Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Jeanette: Studying. No plans.
Simon: Well, Alvin would love to take you out.
Alvin: Huh?
Jeanette: So you want me to go on a date with Alvin? *her eyes brimmed with tears*
Simon: No! I just thought you and Alvin might want to catch up. Since you guys aren't very good friends.
Jeanette: Simon, I just wanna stay home . . .
Alvin: You know what? I like that idea. Why don't we go out to dinner?
Simon: Alvin, remember, my girlfriend.
Alvin: Right. Hey, what about Dave n Busters?
Jeanette: I have a test on Monday . . .
Simon: But, it would mean a lot to me if my girlfriend bonds with my brother.
Jeanette: All of a sudden? Fine, I'll go. But, don't try anything Alvin.
Alvin: Why would I? We'll leave at Six?
Jeanette: Whatever. Hey, Simon, could I talk to you for a second?
Simon: Sure. *follows Jean out of room*
Jeanette: Chealsea told me you have a date at Vinny's tonignt.
Simon: Haha, funny. I um . . .
Jeanette: Simon Seville, if you lie to me, you can kiss me goodbye.
Simon: *sigh* Okay, so, that day Chealsea was bullying you and 'flirting with me', Raven, Britt, me and the rest of us got really angry. We had a plan to um . . . As Britt put it, 'sabotage her'.
Jeanette: Where does your date with the Devil come in?
Simon: Well, everyone said that since she likes me, I had to convince her to tell me her secrets. I wanted Alvin to do it, but everyone made me do it. *sigh*
Jeanette: All that for me?
Simon: Of course! Do I still have to go on a date with Chealsea?
Jeanette: No, I have a better idea.
*Later that night at Vinny's*
Chealsea: Simon, I've had a wonderful night.
Simon: Hey, it's what I do. Would you care for dessert?
Chealsea: Um, sure?
Jeanette: *Jumps on table with hose full of chocolate* Eat this, Hag from Hell! *Pulls trigger*
Chealsea: OMG! My new outfit! GAH!
Si/Jean: *Laughing hysterically*
Jeanette: And, we got it all on video. Guys, you can come out now!
Raven: Priceless! You don't mess with the Miller Twins, Princess!
Brittany: I'd have to say, I'm proud to be a part of this . . . Crazy family.
Jeanette: Yeah, when we're not trying to kill each other . . .