-
Prologue
Jude's Pov
`Sitting in the hospital waiting room i felt cold lifeless like i wasn't even really there, like this point in time couldn't possibly be real, like i was living in my own personal hell. My family was all scurrying around me not knowing what to do or how to help. Callie refused to leave my side as if i would crumble the moment she stepped away, the twins sat across from me quiet which wasn't normal for either of them, Moms were going back and forth from talking to doctors and parents, and Brandon was sitting next to his dad. They were all worried and wanted to make sure I was okay. I get that, I do, but I couldn't say a word all I could do was sit there and replay the images of the events of the night in my head. Over and over and over.
I was standing next to Conner angry while the girls were in the other room. I didn't exactly understand why i was angry but I was. It was partially from what taylor had said to me before we came to her dads house. Her assumptions on my feeling about Conner or it might have been the notion that Connor and Daria might have been planning on having sex soon either way i was done with tonight and just wanted to go home. " hey yall two come in here and try this," said Taylor from the other room. "lets go, this is going to be fun," Connor requested flashing that smile of his at me, it was that smile that always made me forget if i was mad at him and just did what he wanted me to.
I followed Connor into the other room where the girls were standing holding a bottle of what looked like whisky. The girls were giggling, Connor couldn't stop smiling, as we all got into a circle to start trying the liquor. Taylor took the first swig like it was nothing, shes probably done this before. Daria took the next drink in rotation an unlike Taylor she looked like she had just taken a swig of gasoline and was about to throw up, I couldn't help but find it amusing at first. Next was Connor and he took it like a champ proceeding to cough a little as he handed me the bottle. I was a little scared at first never having tasted alcohol before in my life and not really sure I wanted to try it to begin with this didn't feel right. I looked over to Connor for reassurance.
"Go ahead its not that bad," With Connor's approving nod I raised the glass to my lips and began to drink. I didn't quite understand the taste but it was warm and felt like my whole throat was burning as it went down definitely not the funnest thing Connor has convinced me to do as of yet. We were all giggling and laughing when everything was cut off.
"HEY WHOS DOWN THERE!," Taylors father yelled from the top of the stairs.
The next couple of seconds were the longest, slowest, and fastest couple of seconds of my life. Everything happened so fast as it happened but looking back at everything now as it replayed in my head over again on repeat its as if everything was moving in slow motion but there was nothing I could do.
The moment I heard Taylor's father scream from the top of the stairs the bottle slipped from my fingers out of fear. At that point it was as if time had slowed counting down to the moment the glass bottle hit the hardwood floor and shattered. "Lets go!," Taylor spoke with a laugh. We all took off running the second the bottle hit the ground, the girls took off first and I followed right behind Connor. It was in that moment in the hallway when Connor looked back at me laughing and the moment his face changed that I knew Connor had just possibly saved my life. It was quick the shift in Connors facial expression as he looked back at me, his lips began to formulate a word but no sound came out its as if his body was moving on instinct. He pushed me back behind him with in the instant before the fire was shot. In that next instant Connor was on the ground bleeding from his right shoulder area. The next few seconds all became background noise Taylor yelling at her father, Daria screaming hysterically, and Taylor's father freaking out scrambling for a phone repeating slurred apologies. I fell to my knees next to my bestfriend crying trying to hold pressure on his wound like i had seen in movies and tv shows but there was a lot more blood in real life. "why, why did you push me out of the way," I pleaded to him needing to know. "Because I couldn't see you getting hurt again," I wasn't expecting a response or for him to be conscious.
"Connor i can't lose you, you're my best friend," "You won't Jude, i will always be here to protect you," Connor spoke with a raspy voice and gleaming smile i know was meant to reassure me. With a struggled attempt he lifted his left arm and pulled me in close mere inches from his face.
"I will always protect you," without a chance to respond I was pulled in to a kiss.
This kiss wasn't like the others the tent was awkward something new an foreign to both of us, the other day in my room our kiss was in a since out of desperation to understand each other to know who we were, but this time our kiss was different it came from a need that i could feel lingered inside the both of us. It was a kiss i would never forget for the rest of my life.
"Jude, my love," Stef cut me out of my looping trance. "Is Connor okay? Will he be okay? Can I go see him?," I asked three questions with in a second not even giving myself the chance to breathe.
"Yes baby, Connor is going to be okay I just talked to the doctor and he said that he will be just fine don't worry," "Well then can I go see him?,"
"Honey, his dads in there with him right now and doesn't want too much commotion right now so he can get some rest," Lena spoke softly with her nurturing eyes. "But i need to go see him! I have to make sure that hes okay," I was easily becoming demanding as the anger began to build up. "I know my love, I know but we can't disrespect his fathers wishes right now," Stef began. "I'm sure he will let him come see you tomorrow, but for now its probably the best bet for us all to go home and get some sleep," Lena sounded hopeful and tired at the same time. "Come on Jude lets go home I'll come up here tomorrow with you if you'd like," Callie spoke gently grabbing my arm trying to ease me out of my seat. "Okay but i want to see him tomorrow," I rose abruptly agreeing while it being the last thing i wanted to do. "Will talk about it in the morning along with your punishment," Stef responded with her hand draped around my shoulder and Lena rallied the rest of the family.
Over the next week I attempted with every chance i could get to go see Connor but they would never let me go back to go see him,
It was infuriating!
The nurse told me that his father had specified that I not be allowed to see him. I was in shock and didn't know what to think.
Did his father blame me for what happened?
Did his father know about our last kiss?
Was Connor hurt worse than i thought or i had been told?
I didn't know the answer to any of these questions circleing around my head, and nobody would give me a straight answer to them either.
An when he was out of the hospital his father blocked every chance as well. I was miserable.
Two weeks since the shooting
"Jude can you come into the living room for a minute Momma and I have something we need to talk to you about," Stef yelled as i was walking through the hallway.
"Yeah whats going on? any news on Connor yet?," I asked id spent this whole time torturing myself for some kind of information on my best friend. ` "Actually yes honey, can you come sit down," Lena spoke in her bad new voice. "Okay,"
"So Connors father unenrolled him out of school today,"
"What! Why would he do that?,"
"It seems that his father believes that they needed a new start, his father has relocated firms and they are moving,"
"I can't believe this! he can't do this! Do i at least get to tell my best friend goodbye?," I was in complete and utter shock the tears couldn't help but start to pour.
"It doesnt seem to look that way sweetie, his father informed me that they were leaving as soon as he left the school, Im so sorry Jude," Lena along with Stef my moms how wonderful they are tried to pull me into a hug, i know they were just trying to comfort and be there for me but i just got up and stepped away. ` "I can't believe this, this is not happening, he's my bestfriend!," I took off running even after they were calling my name. This was officially the worst most horrible day of my life and i had no clue how i was ever going to get past it.
_
Okay so this is probally not my best work and theres alot of writing errors i have written in a really long time but im really eager to start writing again even if its just the fanfic kind of writing. all ways eager to hear good and bad critiques what i could do better how much i suck and what not so just let me know. Fyi there will be a time skip coming up.