Sam held onto the warm presence lying by his side. His angel, who needed no sleep, offered him a silent anchor of healing. Mistakes and understanding shared between them in equal abundance. Once they both would have pushed things too far. To right a wrong Sam was wired to risk death, and he knew that the Castiel of old would not have thought to question him or to stop them both short from getting what was needed. But this Castiel, the one who held onto him on the bed, had for a while been fully human himself. Sam felt awed by how much care he had shown him by drawing a firm line in the sand.
"But nothing is worth losing you."
What Castiel had said resonated within his torn heart. The pain of being possessed by Gadreel, the angel heaven had locked up, of watching his own hands kill an innocent… it still hurt to go there. Sam had felt so violated and angry. A large part of him still did, but another part of his soul felt a little easier in the absence of the angel grace Castiel had so painfully extracted from his body. They had both wanted to find and stop the angel who'd abused him and deceived them all. Sam had been ready to push himself far, beyond his limits if needed, but Castiel had not.
Thinking over the memory of what they'd tried Sam cringed. He could still feel how deep the needle had pierced into the back of his head and neck. It had hurt like hell, upturning his thoughts and making him relive several of the awful things Gadreel had done while wearing his body like a suit. Sam had felt how each bright piece of grace got sucked out of him and into the syringe, as if it had tried to claw to his mind, unwilling to let go without a fight. The pain had overwhelmed him, until with a sudden rush of relief Castiel had retreated the needle before it was too late.
Sam still felt upset about why the scrying spell had failed on them. After all the pain he had suffered through the procedure the amount of grace left within him had turned out to be too little in amount. Maybe if Castiel had… no, Sam cut off his thought. Now that he had come out on the other side he wanted to live. Had to, so he could correct the outfall of the trials he had aborted himself as well as make up for the wrongs Gadreel had forced from his hands. Exhausted as he was Sam too felt liberated. Every trace of Gadreel inside of him was gone and so he was a hundred percent human again. Now that Castiel had healed him to the full he could…
Tender lips pressed against his forehead, smoothing out the harsh lines caused by the thoughts which had formed there and breaking off every sombre one of them. Sam opened his eyes to face Castiel. Blue irises brimmed to the edge with soulful emotions of deep friendship and honesty stared into him. Castiel didn't speak though. Instead his fingers curled a bit firmer into his t-shirt, grasping a somehow gentle hold through fabric of the skin on his flank.
In turn Sam wrapped his arm tighter around the smaller frame, also unsure about what to say. He couldn't remember anymore how the two of them had ended up like this; in his bedroom and curled up together on his sheets with around them nothing but silence. It though felt comfortable in ways everything else no longer did.
Sam sensed that Castiel didn't question his reasons for letting Dean leave by himself, because he understood the why of their outfall, even when he also wanted them to stand together rather than each one alone. Had Castiel known that Sam had needed him for more than his gift of physical healing? Or was it Dean and his infuriating self-blame which had made the angel stand down from tagging along?
Despite the pain falling out with his brother had caused him, Sam smiled to himself when he recalled that earlier today Castiel had called them both pig-headed in their need to run towards death when they deemed it for a worthy cause, to save others. Was it so set in their family bloodline? Deep down Sam could see it too, and honestly, he knew it was true that a Winchester would fight tooth and nail for family, but he also felt too hurt and violated to gloss over the choice Dean had made without his consent. Sure, he would do everything he could for his brother too, but dammit… never this!
It was his body, his life, and so his choice. Sam felt the anger rise within him again. Even when deep down he was beginning to accept that he was alive because of Dean and his desperate reaction to his near death, he hated how he'd felt ever since he learned about Gadreel owning him like he did. The struggle to cast the angel out… and the fact that the demon Crowley had been the one to help him do it were hard to forget. Sam shuddered at the memories, unable not to feel disgusted all over again at seeing with his own eyes how Gadreel had used his angel grace to kill…
"Sam, you're safe."
Blinking open eyes he couldn't remember closing, Sam let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Castiel. "I know", he offered in a shaky voice.
"Do you?"
Wincing over how fast Castiel had caught him out with his sceptical gaze Sam looked away from it to bury his cheek against a smooth silk covered chest. He felt a strange sort of comfort over the absence of Castiel's usual trench coat and suit jacket, as if by wearing the blouse alone friend had become more approachable. No, Sam wasn't sure about anything beyond his regrets, but holding onto someone he cared for helped keep his inner demons at bay. "Stay?"
"Of course."
"Would you mind if I…"
"No, sleep."
For the first time in nights Sam woke up feeling rested, even when but a few hours had passed. Rather than having to tear himself from revisited dark memories, which bordered on nightmares but were his cold truth, he slowly surfaced to the comfortable position of being held close by inhumanly strong arms. Even better was the warm layer made of something soft lying atop of him. At last he dared to believe Cas in his promise that he was held away from harm…
Sam though startled further to awareness the second he saw that the blanket he had perceived was instead formed by a dark feathered wing, one which had spread out over his top half to wrap him up with care. Wide eyed Sam stared at it, amazed to see something so perfect and special from so up close. He let his senses take in its softness and felt a pang of sorrow when he realised that the large wing was not whole as such, because some feathers were absent, and others were left damaged. Unable to stay quiet in his awe he asked, "Cas?"
Eyes of blue shot open, as if so far his friend had neither seen or felt him stir from his much-needed sleep. "I'm sorry, they… I swear, they reacted of their own instinct. You seemed cold and I couldn't leave you shivering. I…"
Sam shook his head, reaching out to grab hold of the nearest wrist to stop Castiel in his shy attempt to leave. "Don't go…" On an impulse he pressed his lips against a warm, morning stubble covered cheek. Did angels shave? Sam pushed aside the absurdly random notion as fast as it came.
Truth was that even now his friend was an enigma of sorts to him. While he'd been host to an angel himself Sam still wondered how the balance between a human host and angel presence worked in the long run, when there was full consent. Jimmy Novak, the willing vessel of Castiel, had died a human death long ago. Cas had always said so, and truth was that Sam had seldom thought of him and seen him as anything different then as the angel he had met years back and had come to know far better since.
But here and now, staring at his open face from such a personal distance, or rather the lack thereof, Sam considered Castiel handsome in ways he'd never dared to entertain for too long before. A raw, masculine beauty to which the unexpected sight of angel wings added a more ethereal dimension he'd never be able to put into words.
"Sam, I don't normally… and you humans, your eyes are not created for it. That is why we must choose a vessel to live in while on Earth, so that you can look at us and we can connect. I am unsure of how it's even possible that you can see me now… here. It's not something I have encountered before."
Sam caught onto his meaning. "Your wings, they are private to you, yeah?"
"Personal, no, more like… I don't know."
"Intimate?" From the blush before him Sam gathered he'd guessed it right. "I won't tell a soul, you know. Keep what we share tonight between us." In his curiosity he reached out to stroke his fingers along the spine of a long, but twisted feather, trying to smooth it out, but failing to. "Does it hurt?"
Castiel blinked, trying to catch his train of thought. Soon enough he offered Sam a small, but wry smile. "It's not so bad as before, not since I fell from heaven. They may look scarred to you, but believe me, they have healed as well as they can. I suppose they are not as young as they used to be. Same goes for me", he ended on a wry smile.
Familiar with his blunt honesty Sam offered him a sad smile in return. Most of the time he forgot how old Castiel was, because Jimmy's body didn't reflect his true age. It was almost impossible to conceive how he had lived since the dawn of times and he'd seen humans in their infancy as a species. The army of angel soldiers had fought wars he could never understand or know of. Sam realised he'd never be able to count the number of battles or imagine all the suffering Castiel had faced in his long life.
Hell, Cas was right. Sam would never be able to see what his friend looked like when he didn't live inside the vessel who continued to look at him without judgement. For one it would burn his eyes out. Odd, maybe he shouldn't be able to see what he did, but Sam found he didn't want to question it. Awed by how he as a mere mortal was by chance given a rare privilege in their shared moment of quiet closeness Sam retreated his hand from the wing to place it on Castiel's chest. "Thank you."
Their companionable silence stretched out, strangely comforting still. Sam breathed a sigh of contentment when the wing around his frame clung on a little tighter to him as if to make sure to them both that he remained safe. Maybe they had to move, face the day or the world, and do what they knew they had to do next; go out to fix their mistakes. His heart and body though were loath to move. What they needed first was time to heal… and more so, Sam realised, at the moment he was feeling far too reluctant to let Castiel walk off towards danger alone.
The longer he lay held protected where he was, with his head resting against a warm chest and with his body covered by the large wing, Sam felt a different longing stir within him. His arms ached to hold his angel close. He wanted to never let go, and touch both flesh and feathers under his fingertips. To remind them both of how they were still alive, breathing and free to be what they were. That he was grateful to have Cas on his bed with him. How he felt respected, loved even… and wasn't that a strange, but humbling thought?
"Sam?" The question came out in a soft but deep rumble meant only for the two of them. "May I kiss you?"
It was impossible to feel shocked under the fond gaze of emotions and love. Sam had seen the intent form in Cas' eyes, not daring to trust in what went on between them until it got spoken… and yet, he'd felt the same desires surface from within. Had he missed it when they started to grow closer than friends did? Maybe it happened when he wasn't looking for love amidst all the insanity that was their lives?
Sam though knew that he'd danced around the issue for a while now. Always afraid to risk a friendship and face the fallout. Did angels even do love with mere mortals? He hadn't dared to ask himself if he was worthy enough for someone like Castiel to care for him in turn, not until he'd said, "Nothing is worth losing you." And even then, Sam still doubted himself, like he was prone to do, wired to a fault almost.
Too stunned to speak and fearful of losing his one chance Sam moved to answer Castiel with a soft kiss. "Yes", he whispered. To his joy he couldn't say more, because fingers curled into his hair and around the back of his head to close what little remained of their distance. His voice disappeared into a breathless moan of pleasure when Castiel wasted no time to taste him, to seek out to explore his mouth, wet and somewhat sloppy but tender still. Stubble brushed against his cheek, but Sam ignored the prickly burn of it in favour of answering the kiss in kind. He didn't know a tear had escaped from his eyes until he felt how a thumb brushed it aside, gently and not for a moment unwanted.
"Hey", Castiel managed a breathless sounding request of concern.
"I'm fine." Sam smiled at the flicker of disbelief in blue eyes, aware of how it had become a standard answer for him and that Castiel more than knew to question it by now. "No, I am, it's just… I've wondered what it'd be like and now I do know, it feels almost unreal."
"Oh, I am real."
Sam couldn't help but grin at the familiarity of the direct response. In his surge of fondness, he pressed a chaste kiss on already kiss swollen lips. "I know."
Obvious in his reluctance to part Castiel curled his hands tighter into his hair. Without a word he beckoned Sam close for a second kiss, which he let linger soft and warm until he'd rendered him speechless over how good it felt to give into touch over thought.
The mission, his pain about Dean leaving and mistakes they had both made… everything escaped Sam in the now. This, here, was what he couldn't get enough of.
Driven by his lungs' need for air Sam pulled away from their kisses, resting his forehead against Castiel's. With a shy smile he reached out to the top button of the soft, pristine white blouse. His fingers almost trembled in his shy curiosity to feel skin. It seemed a bit strange he could see wings folded out through the undamaged shirt, but then… Castiel was an angel, and to him they held a magic contained he'd never quite be able to grasp. Before he could ask Castiel aided him by starting at the bottom buttons. In tandem they undid the blouse, brushing it away in favour of moving on towards the hem of Sam's purple t-shirt.
They sat up like one so that he could pull it over his head. Sam smiled when, while he cast his shirt aside, tender but calloused fingers brushed over his chest until Castiel rested his warm palm over his heart. "I am real too", Sam confirmed for them both.
"No, you are alive", Castiel said, leaning into Sam for another kiss. As if to drive home his point he claimed his lips and tongue without hesitation.
"Because of you." Sam curled up in his lap to answer the rush of passion with the same greed. No one else had ever kissed him with such power, as if Castiel was now using his emotions as an extra force of desire and strength. It felt to him like something in the angel came from an inhuman source. One which almost spoke more of Cas' true form than his usual front of blunt kindness and care.
Maybe it was his dormant demon blood in his veins speaking or the darker thoughts Sam always tried to keep to himself, but he found that he wanted to have more of it, no… he needed for someone to make him feel human and alive again. Driven by his love for the being who now cradled his body with his wings and arms once more Sam reached out to brush his hand over the coat of black feathers. "Can I?"
His request met with a moaned gasp. "Please… do."
Unable to resist their softness Sam explored the feathers, slowly feeling his way around them, and the bone which formed the core of the magnificent wings. He smiled when he saw how Castiel closed his eyes in joy while he brushed over oil glands and other sensitive spots. The gasp of his name had never come out in a sweeter, or a rawer sounding voice of pure delight. Teasing Cas' wing with endless strokes Sam kissed him full on the mouth to steal his moans and reduce them to deep rumbles of pleasure. "Cas", he whispered against the shell of his nearest ear for what he'd at last had found his courage for. "Show me."
"What?"
Smiling at the flustered face of lust and bewilderment before him Sam stole another kiss which he ended on a soft bite. "How an angel makes love."
Castiel yelped then recovered. "Like any man, but with a few… how would you call them, benefits?" His eyes twinkled with mischief in the second it took for him to find and pinch Sam's nipple.
"Like?" Sam whimpered at the spark of pained pleasure Castiel tore from the fast hardening bundle of nerve endings.
"You wear too many clothes still." Hands roved over his spine to push down the hem of his jeans. Sam trembled in his joy over how Cas slid his fingers underneath the fabric to play with the cotton covered swell of his ass. The far from subtle suggestion at what Castiel meant couldn't escape him, even less so when he added, "I want to have all of you, Sam. If you'd have me…"
Rendered naked by his own hands Sam stood glued to the floor, staring at Castiel. The equally bare angel crawled onto his bed to sit up against his pillows, in not all confidence and yet without shyness over his nudity. His blue eyes roved over him, interested and filled with dark pupils of want. Sam remained frozen in his awe of the handsome body of his human angel. "Cas…" He couldn't believe that he was wanted, that the plain sign of arousal was meant for him, caused by him even.
"Come here." Castiel beckoned at him with a crooked finger, but its invitation was not what drew Sam into moving again. What he saw in the soft blush of arousal and want was far more tempting to him than words. It spoke the truth of how what he felt was returned, and then some. Even so he smiled when Castiel took his hand and he used it to pull him closer until Sam was kneeling on the bed before him. "Sam, to me you are so human. Your soul is unlike any other I've met. Strong, generous, brave, passionate and beautiful, faults included. I can lose myself in you and be…"
Sam kissed him to silence, blushing under the praise. No, he was nothing special. All he did was try and do the right thing. Wasn't that what they all did? Too torn inside still to face such scrutiny and admiration he curled up into Castiel's lap, folding his long legs so that he didn't crush him under his weight and size.
"I'll show you", Castiel promised with a kiss behind his ear. While he did, he wrapped his hands around Sam's hips, his strong fingers digging in for leverage or maybe to simply lay their claim. As if that didn't speak by itself for how he felt Castiel curled his wings around Sam to wrap him back into his hold. "Show you why I can't let go of you… stubborn Winchester or not."
At once Sam was lost in pleasure, for lips sucked on his skin while a tongue trailed from the skin behind his ear down to his jaw, throat and right nipple. Castiel didn't do slow anymore, driving him insane with touches and kisses. Even his wings found ways to brush Sam over his shoulders, spine and lower back in teasing strokes. Sam shivered at the added sensation of something unseen sliding down into the crack of his ass, seeking and exploring sensitive skin until it found his opening. "What…" Startled, because it teased him then curled into him with a shallow push, Sam stared wide eyed at Castiel.
"Benefits, Sam. Do you trust me?"
"With my life." He offered his answer without hesitation. The warm, almost electrifying touch slid a bit deeper into him, making it nigh impossible for Sam to think over the rush of sweet sensations it tore from him. "I… how?"
"Angel grace." Castiel moved his hands to cup the swell of his ass, tender and yet almost possessive in how he curled his fingers around each cheek. A flash of regret clouded over his eyes, but not for long, as if by looking at Sam he'd made his choice. "Not mine, but my gift to you. To us. Do you want…"
Sam hissed out a moan in his aroused pleasure over the offer. "Fuck yeah."
Deeper the hot touches from Cas' grace filled his senses until Sam felt like it was becoming a part of him. "You feel how it can be used for good?" Castiel teased him with another kiss.
"For sin more like it." Sam answered him with a soft bite on the lips which continued to claim his mouth. "But then, I asked for it."
Shifting so that Sam had to widen his legs and expose his opening a little more Castiel moved his hands to rake blunt fingernails over his spine, upwards to his neck to make him lean forwards and further into him. "You did, but Sam… tell me when it gets to be too much."
"Unlikely, but yeah, I will."
Sam writhed around the maddening sensations of pure pleasure the long tendril of grace pulled out of him. With each touch it delved deeper towards his core, tempting him to open for what he wanted too. Again, it brushed over his walls in a sensation of sweet friction until it hit a particular sensitive spot. Sam gasped at how the touch aroused him beyond anything else he'd ever felt. Oh, he wasn't naive, and he'd read about it, but to learn the truth of it by sense? Whimpering into the next teasing stroke Sam clasped his hand around strong biceps. "Don't… stop…"
"I won't."
Hands sought out to pleasure him, caressing his spine and abdomen, and mapping out where he was most sensitive. Sam moved into the hand around his cock. Leaking hard he felt himself slip in the tight, but not too tight grip. "Cas…" He failed to register his plea for more, instead he rolled his hips slowly towards the tendril in his soon answered request.
Reaching out to soft feathers, Sam smoothed his fingers into the warm, unique feel of the angel wings. Before Castiel he had considered sleeping with men. He had even kissed a few who'd shown an interest and he'd messed around with them too, but Sam had never let it go far, and for years since he'd not dated a man again. Life on the road had been too fast and dangerous to find someone to trust with what he was and what he truly wanted from a lover. Plus, since he'd returned to the life of a hunter, his feet almost never hit the ground for long enough to properly talk with someone other than those who'd lived in the same bunker and car as him.
Lately, with Castiel, there was no need to explain what he was and always would be. In turn the angel wouldn't have to fear being different either. Sam wanted him for his heart, his soul and in truth, well… he was handsome in an other worldly way. Happy to be able to see and touch the wings Sam continued to embrace all Castiel was, and how in turn he used said God given attributes to both of their advantage.
Persistent now the tendril played with his nerve endings. Each touch sent sparks of arousal through Sam's spine and into his cock. It drove him insane how fast Castiel had learned how to tease each nerve ending inside of him, and how he did so slowly… driving the mindless pleasure within him to new heights over and over again. Desperate for more Sam rocked his hips faster, unable not to writhe around the angelic, but oh so sinful intrusion into his body. "Please", he leaned forwards to steal a kiss and ask for more. "Take me, Cas… I need to feel you move inside of me… not just your grace."
"Yeah." Sam took pride in how breathless with desire Castiel sounded to him. Better even was how the angel blinked back at him, eyes cast in dark lust, unfocussed beyond the shameless joy sent into his body through his wings. Another blink for composure and at last he moved into action. Sam though was surprised by how for a moment Castiel uncurled his left hand from angel feathers to reveal smooth, glistening oil dripping from his long digits to his palm and wrist. "Benefits", he teased again while entwining their fingers together for a while to share the oil between them. "Touch me, Sam."
Understanding dawned on him the second Castiel wrapped his hands around his ass to slide them towards his now empty ass. The sobering sensation of being left open fast evaporated on Sam. In a slick slide two warm digits eased into him, smooth and careful. Though he could take the width of them, enjoyed how they felt even, he also groaned at the friction of his tightness. Never had anyone touched him so intimately… and he loved how it was Castiel doing so. "Fuck", he hissed his joy over the way the knuckles slipped further inside of him. Sensual and slow Castiel added another finger, leaving Sam to gasp in pleasure.
To drive home his point, of how ready he was, Sam rubbed his fingers over the oil gland to catch more of the smooth liquid. Smiling when Castiel moaned out his pleasure he slid them further over his torso, an air hardened nipple, taut abdomen and finally his leaking cock. Using the precome too to slick him up Sam teased his swollen length with a firm slide of his palm and fingers. "Do it, Cas. Have me."
Sam moved along with Castiel to reposition himself. At last strong hands guided him to sit down in his lap while Sam wrapped around the smaller body so that his ass could sink all the way over that gorgeous, long cock. A gasp of pure need and wanton desire escaped him when its slick, round head slipped past his entrance, slow and with a perfect stroke of friction. Fuck, after all that his body still felt tight.
Curling his fingers around Cas' strong biceps to anchor himself Sam stared into his soul. Part of him wanted for Castiel to let go and drive into him with the raw passion he could see simmer behind those blown pupils of lust. Sam though also got off on how for the first time another man filled him to completion in such a divine, slow stroke of hard cock. "Cas", he breathed, lost in the sensations of uncensored joy.
"I've got you." Castiel rocked up his hips and pushed Sam down through his shoulders, never letting go of how their eyes had glued onto the other. Raw emotions of pain, love and pure awe sunk into Sam while in one long brush of pressure and sweet sensations he filled every inch of his heat. Everything fell into place for him the second Cas stilled deep inside of him, having taken him with every inch he had to give. Sam smiled at how with a gentle brush Castiel moved aside the lock of his hair which had fallen into his face to get in the way of their line of sight. "Sam."
Aroused beyond reason Sam had no words. All he knew was that he needed to move and so he did. Slowly he rolled his hips, trying to get a feel of how full he was and searching for the maddening friction which had pushed into him so far. Wordless still in his request he felt how Castiel sought out his rhythm to arch into it. Hands began to guide him as he moved faster, sharper in his rise and fall. Moans tumbled from his lips, his body singing under the way the angel wrapped him up in wings and grace, both touching him where their skin didn't.
Faster he rocked his body against Castiel. It was almost like they were one now, and Sam loved how he couldn't tell them apart anymore except for how hard the angel was inside of him. "Oh." His brain stammered to a halt, shattering on a mind-blowing kiss and the husky plea to let go from Castiel.
So close now, but he wanted to keep on flying high on this perfect beast of connection and lust between their bodies. Sam had never felt such a rush stir in his soul before. Sensations came with emotions stronger than he'd felt for anyone else. Now Castiel knew him from the inside out. No shield to hide behind. Nothing he could lie about, or he could not see through in turn, now that they for the night were inseparable both in the flesh and soul. Angel grace had filled him all over again, but this source he could never fear, for Castiel would not act against him. Not now and not ever…
Sam shot open eyes he had closed in his awed pleasure. No, reason be damned he wanted to see and feel everything. Warm lips sought his and Sam claimed the answer from them in kind. Life was fragile and painful, never without mistakes or guilt. It was far from perfect too, but in the heat of everything Castiel was pulling from his body Sam could believe that some moments were even more precious than life itself. Without them he couldn't breathe, heal or forgive and move on.
Desperate to seek out what he could taste Sam moved his hips even more relentless. He needed to chase the sensations, one after the other, as well as the breathless pleas from Castiel. Each whimper he wanted to kiss away just so he could create another. Each touch he ached to answer until his angel too would lose himself.
Harder he slammed his body back down, clenching around what felt so good. Again, Sam took every inch of Castiel inside of his ass, revelling in the long stroke of sweet friction. Changing angle he felt how the round head slammed into his prostate… and he sought out that same spark of raw, bright pleasure… and again, until it spread out around him like an explosion. Once more and at last he'd pushed himself over the edge, where everything shattered, and he clung onto that beautiful release which erupted from him.
Sated and sore but relaxed beyond anything he'd felt in a while Sam curled up closer against Castiel. It had somewhat escaped him that he'd dozed off after the mind-blowing orgasm. Some time too was lost to him, except for the vague memory of wings being refolded and one last kiss shared. And of hands moving his body to lie down and tucking him into his bed. The cocoon of sheets and warm limbs had remained unchanged since. How long had he been asleep? Sam didn't know.
"Morning." Warm lips caressed the tip of his nose.
"Cas…" Sam managed to make his hoarse voice work. Wincing at the rough sound he blinked open his eyes to face Castiel. "You stayed."
"I said I would."
"But you don't sleep."
"No."
"You watched me", Sam realised, not sure at first how he felt about it until he saw the honest care in the handsome features before his. "My guardian angel."
Castiel nodded, but he stayed silent to kiss him soft but chaste on the lips. Blue eyes of intent roved over his face. "Sam", he started and stopped, kissing him again with an unexpected twinkle of mischief in blue eyes. "Do you know it is a Sunday?"
Confused by the change of mood Sam frowned, "So?"
"It's the day humans sleep the morning away."
He grinned at the statement. "But you and I are awake."
"Well… that is unfortunate." Castiel mock shrugged, as if feigning innocence. "Perhaps it means we have to get creative in our attempt to stay in bed?" Before Sam could even address what he was thinking about he got rolled onto his back. His gasp of surprise met with a muffled grin, for Castiel was fast sliding underneath the blankets and in between his legs to show his intentions with a trail of kisses over his abdomen.
Though he didn't know from where the change in Castiel had come from Sam welcomed every unexpected caress of lips and fingers over his skin. Arousal fast stirred up within him. Wrapping his hands into short strands of hair Sam reached out to the source of his renewed happiness. "You…" It was impossible to even form a sentence under the hot assault of the tongue, which continued to tease the head of his cock. "Fuck, that's…"
"Hmmm?" The hum sent his blood even faster south.
Sam curled his fingers firmer into the soft mess of hair, not sure if he was trying to keep himself from falling or Castiel from moving away. As if said source of torment heard his plea, he sucked him inside of his mouth, deviously slow and wet. Every brain cell left active within him fast evaporated at the sensation of how deep Castiel was taking his full length. How he hollowed his cheeks to bring him nothing but unbridled pleasure. "Please", he whimpered, arching his back into that wicked mouth which drove him fast towards the edge.
But rather than finish him off Castiel retreated from where he'd crawled under the sheets. Leaning over him with blue eyes of pure adoration he gazed down into his. Sam blinked up at them, speechless under that they saw right into his soul. Unable to face the raging fire of emotions within them he reached out to bring Castiel closer for a passionate kiss, one meant to convey what he also felt without words. They lived too dangerously to make promises of love, and it was probably the worst time too, but Sam wanted what Castiel was offering regardless. Who even knew if they had a tomorrow?
Sam had found his courage to speak by the time they came up from the kiss for much needed air. "Nothing is worth losing you either."
"We always have now, here. I will never forget." Castiel understood him at once.
"Make love to me?"
Aware of the oil slick reminders of the night, which leaked from within him each time when he moved, Sam rolled around to lie stretched out on his abdomen. Folding his long legs double on a somewhat wide stance underneath his body Sam looked over his left shoulder at Castiel. "Benefits you said", he teased when he saw how lust dilated pupils blew even wider at his offer of submission.
Castiel too must have caught onto the sheen of oil left between his buttocks, for he nodded his understanding with a smile. Upon his invitation he crawled closer to kneel behind Sam. "Are you sure?" Castiel pressed a kiss on the base of his spine and wrapped his hands around his hips to hold him steady.
"Do it. Please, Cas", Sam begged.
The pause of anticipation stretched out into silence… until with a flutter of sound the two gorgeous wings unfolded from Castiel's back. Sam shivered in lust over what it meant. His angel had accepted his wish and he wouldn't hold back his heavenly powers on him. Laziness got replaced with passion, their reckless need to give and take.
At once Castiel slid inside of him, his cock swollen hard and slippery from an added layer of wing drawn oil. Sam curled his fingers into the mattress at how fast he got split open, and how the long brush of perfect friction slammed home against his prostate. The explosion of sensations was enough to shatter his wits, if he'd had any left. To his joy Castiel wasted no time to set a slow and gentle rhythm to his thrusts. Meeting each one Sam lowered his head onto the pillow below him, eager to seek out the best angle to drive him insane with each hit into his core. "I won't break", he insisted.
"No." Castiel agreed, driving into him at the same agonizing slow pace of before. Hands shifted to brush over his flanks, up and down, before they settled on a firm grasp around his hips. Almost possessively so calloused fingers curled into his flesh there. Sam whimpered under how they both anchored him and told him in no uncertain terms to still, to let Castiel stay in charge. Something in his angel had shifted from care to full out passion, and Sam was more than happy to yield to it, to not stay strong for a change.
Pleasure ripped into every part of him. In long, even thrusts Castiel pushed in and out of his tight heat, sweet friction claiming him with each one driven deep towards his soul. Sam panted out his moans into the pillow. It drove him insane with arousal that Castiel managed to find every single nerve ending within him. Curling his fingers into the sheets he tried to hang on to the high of being driven far too slowly towards completion. "More… please, I need…" Sam held tighter onto the bed for some sanity.
"Sam". The near growl of his name was his only warning that slow had become near impossible to maintain. Sharper now Castiel thrust into him, his rhythm more frantic and his body driven by nothing but to pleasure them both. To Sam's further delight the tight grip around his hips began to ease off on reining him in.
No longer held back Sam pushed himself counter into each thrust. His arms and legs strained as he thrashed back against Castiel, seeking for more of what felt so damned good that he lost himself to it. Flesh slid against flesh, moving inside of his ass and over his overheated skin. Sam thrust back again. Faster, harder… until it almost became too painful for him to hold on to the raw sensations of desire burning so bright inside of him. Desperate to fall over the edge Sam clenched his muscles around Castiel.
"Fuck", Castiel groaned out, his voice deep with desire. Unrelenting though he pulled away from him only to slam into his body in a forceful stroke of perfection.
Sam cried out in turn at how it struck home into and over his prostate. Almost… he was so close now. The thought had barely finished, or registered in his blown brain, when on the next stroke Castiel teased his slick thumb over the sensitive head of his cock. Far too slow and sensitive it brushed aside his foreskin to play with his opening there. Sam shivered under the pleasure of the intimate stroke of pure pleasure. "Oh…" One more touch, and Sam was lost. His orgasm ripped from him, making him clench just as Castiel sunk back into his core…
"Sam!" With a raw cry Castiel too came, spilling deep inside of him and holding them both up somehow with his inhuman strength while the after shocks of pleasure slowly subsided.
Unable to keep kneeling Sam collapsed on the bed. Stretching out his legs he reached out behind him to hold onto Castiel, his private blanket of flesh and feathers. Though it was an awkward strain for his arm he couldn't bother caring. He needed the touch… the warmth of knowing that what they'd shared wasn't a dream…
Sam whimpered when after long minutes Castiel moved. To his regret wings retreated, but before he could protest warm arms wrapped around him. In a flash his world tilted until they were both lying on their sides. Sam grinned at how Castiel moved to lie around him as if he intended to become his big spoon. Curling up his legs a bit further he eased into his arms, unable to deny that while being a fair bit larger in size, he didn't mind one bit how they lay entangled together. All he cared for was that that they stayed close.
"In heaven the days blend together, but down here… well, it is true what they say. There is nothing like a Sunday morning." Castiel murmured after a while.
Blushing shyly over the compliment Sam turned around to face him. Blue eyes shot open to meet his gaze in turn. Sam smiled at how the often so pristine appearance of Castiel had nothing over the adorable way he looked now. Bed hair and nothing but bare skin made the angel seem so much more approachable, human even… or rather, Sam found the post sex look plain hot. If he wasn't spent beyond reason, he'd want to have his wicked way with Castiel. As it was, he settled for a kiss of soft lips against the heat of kiss swollen ones. "Agreed", he said.
"Sam, I…"
"You're going to leave me." Sam interrupted at the slight frown of regret.
The arm which held him close moved. Castiel splayed out his hand over his lower abdomen, his thumb rubbing over his flesh in an offer of comfort. "Don't be sad. I will come back to you after."
"I understand", Sam was quick to say. He had known the night would end here, with their paths parting for a while. After what they had faced, they were both riddled with guilt. They each had let an angel walk free, both far too driven angels who were out for themselves and in the process were hurting innocents, endangering the Earth. Even when not all they did was their fault Sam and Castiel alike felt responsible. "You feel the need to fix your mistakes… and so do I."
"Yes."
At the soft sigh of regret Sam kissed him again. "Keep in touch? If you need anything… call me."
Sam leaned into the hand palm which came to rest against his cheek. Its heat seeped into him, inviting and comforting at once. Castiel nodded, "I am only a prayer away."
With sadness but also understanding on his heart Sam watched him as he retreated. By the time Castiel stood fully dressed by the side of the bed Sam crawled up and to the side to beckon him closer. Using his hands, he reached out to tame the mess of hair. In silence he fixed it best he could into something more presentable for an angel. Amused eyes stared into his even after he had finished.
"There…", Sam teased, while moving onto readjusting the not quite straight collar of his blouse. "That's more like the you they know."
"But you see me differently."
"Yeah."
"Can you see them now?"
"Your wings?"
Upon his nod Sam turned him around. Earlier he had believed the wings were hidden on a different plain, but now if he narrowed his eyes and he looked closer he saw that he could never not see them again. "They are folded, behind you." He reached out to the top end of the right wing with a soft smile of awe over realising his privilege hadn't ended. "It's like some blindfold slipped from my sight last night."
Underneath his hand the wing trembled in response. Castiel himself had frozen up in tension, as if lost to thoughts of pain. Worried if he'd done something wrong Sam slipped from the bed to walk around him and face the man he'd come to know so much more intimately than before. "Cas? Are you…"
Sam couldn't finish his question, for in that moment Castiel leaned in to kiss his mouth with passion, delving inside to steal his breath from his tongue for a last time. "You, Sam Winchester, are an impossible force of a human being", came the panted explanation in the wake of the kiss. "Only you can carry both the dark and the light in your heart, take them and contain them in your beautiful soul, which burns so bright with love for humanity that it continues to take my breath away."
"I… what?!" Sam fell to silence at the press of a finger on his lips in a silent request.
Amused Castiel shook his head. "They say that an angel can only choose to be seen by mankind as you see me when he's… well, you know."
Sam blinked at the sheer intensity of love aimed for him. Had last night been inevitable? Everything he had once doubted about himself had met with the one angelic force and soul who made him feel whole, worthy… even when he felt too tainted to believe it for himself. Realisation of his unspoken emotions and thoughts hit him hard. How much he'd grown to care for Castiel over the years in turn hurt, but nothing had ever seemed so right to Sam than to have fallen so deep at last.
The finger fell from his lips. On reflex Sam grabbed a hold of it. "I am honoured", he said, pressing a kiss on the back of the hand the finger belonged to. "Cas… I don't know what to say to you other than, I feel it too." Sam swallowed down his emotions when Castiel nodded in his understanding of how everything between them felt so brand new still that the right words eluded him.
Slowly Castiel retreated further, their hands falling apart. Sam winced at the cold air replacing the heat of him. "Miss you", he wanted to say, but he bit back on the sentiment to let it stick in his throat, because he knew in his heart why Castiel needed to go and he refused to stop him. It was why he too could not ask for what he wanted most. They weren't healed yet. The guilt of their mistakes gnawed at them both. Sam nodded then at the disappearing figure in his always present trench coat.
For long seconds he stood alone in his bedroom, left with the memory and the sticky traces on his skin from last night as company. Breathing in deep to steady himself into action Sam turned around to get a towel and grab a shower. Before he could though a flutter of unseen ripples in the air caressed itself over his spine in an intimate touch of support. "Sam…", it whispered as a parting thought.
Sam smiled to himself, for it was all he needed to know that no, he wasn't alone in his struggles anymore… and perhaps he hadn't been for far longer than he believed. Castiel had his back, in every way it mattered to him. With a grin of memory over the reasons behind the soreness in his body he headed to the bathroom to face the day and the mission ahead.
THE END