Forever Like This

by Elf Asato

[Updates will be, like, never. Consider it an exercise in writing.] Preseries, the workers in Meifu, as seen through Tsuzuki's eyes...and, in this instance, Tsuzuki meets Watari.

Title: Forever Like This

Author: Elf Asato

Date: 4/3/03 – 4/3/04

Time Span: From Watari becoming a Shinigami to a little after the Kyoto Arc

Warnings: Nostalgia, mistaken gender, OOC (I'm horrible with that!)

Fic Summary: The lives of his co-workers as seen through the heart and mind of Tsuzuki Asato.

Chapter Summary: Tsuzuki meets Watari.

Part: 1/?

Notes: This whole "soon-to-be multi-part fic" is the result of me trying (and failing miserably) to figure out why people like and dislike certain pairings.

Forever Like This

By Elf Asato

Chapter One

When I first met him, he was a little shy.  Of course, I knew I'd have to change that, but it's interesting to note that before we became friends, he always seemed a bit awkward socially.  I mean, it obviously takes a little while to get used to the idea that you're dead, but he seemed to be taking it a bit roughly.  It was almost as if he didn't quite think he belonged – that he believed, somehow, that this was just a big mistake and that he was still alive…  I'd been there for quite some time and I've seen others come and go – most everyone's in a bit of denial at first, but he was the first one I'd seen that truly believed that he wasn't supposed to be there.

He was very skilled with electronics, especially computers, and that's actually how we became friends.  I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or not that he arrived the day the devil machines were installed in JuOhCho – even still, I don't know – but I'm glad for it just the same.  On that day, work was a carnival in my mind.  Everyone was excited about these new machines – Chijou had had them for nearly a decade and it was about time Meifu got them!  Unlike the smaller, more compact computers of today, these things were huge, but fortunately not as huge as they were when Chijou invented them.  There were only three accessible through our office, though, but I think that more were spread throughout the building.  The one was in the main office area where everyone worked.  I remember distinctly how Konoe hated it because it took up too much space.  Eventually, though, as he learned how to use it, he grew to love it like nearly everyone else did – playing games on break, as he was shown how to by someone I fail to remember.  The other was in the briefing room and was supposed to be used for helping with cases, but no one ever really used it at all since it was just habit and tradition to explain things the boring way through mounds of useless paper.  The last computer I knew about was installed in the new laboratory they had been building just off one of the wings.  Of course, at the time I had no idea it was there – in fact, I hadn't even known that they were constructing an addition to the building.  I found out later that it was his laboratory they were making.

Although for different reasons, Konoe and I felt the same way about these new computers.  They were most unlike anything I'd ever seen and, well, when you're dead, you tend to lose track of all the technological advancements that go on in Chijou.  For that reason, I was definitely wary when some technicians I didn't even know wanted to teach me, an old geezer, how to use it.  Fortunately I volunteered Tatsumi to be my learning buddy.

I'm reluctant to admit that I don't quite remember the day when Tatsumi arrived to our division – that entire week was a blur to me with fifteen of my co-workers being replaced in the span of three days – but I do remember the day he became my partner…and even clearer, I remember the day he, to put it simply, dumped me and became Konoe's secretary.  At first, I thought it was because he didn't like the work we had to do – no one does, really – but I found out that it was because he thought I was a lazy and stupid idiot.  Although he tried not to seem like it, he was an interesting guy, and I tried to be friends with him, but I suppose I tried too hard and drove him away.  For the next few years after that, we only spoke to each other when we had to.  It's not like I wanted to just ignore him…but I thought he didn't like me so I didn't want to get on his nerves too much.  Finally, though, we had a casual conversation in the break room one day and talked more and more since.  On that day the computers came, I could honestly say that, aside from Konoe, Tatsumi was my best friend.  Sure, he was harsh to me and called me an idiot more than once, but he was a subtle person and it took a while, but I learned to interpret his subtleties and found out that no, he never hated me like I once thought he did.  I think I surprise him on a daily basis by continuing to be his friend.

Tatsumi, like me, wasn't exactly wild about the computers at first – he's never really "wild" about anything, though – but he was interested once he found out that you could calculate finances on them.  Well, if Tatsumi, Mr. Immovable, could accept and use them, then I guessed that I could do so as well.  Unfortunately, I made that resolution after I daydreamed through the only instruction the technicians were going to give me on these things.

That's when I met him.  He was standing over by someone's desk, whose I can't remember, talking to Konoe who seemed to be laughing about something while the newcomer laughed slightly along with him, a bit nervous it seemed.  I only saw part of his face and back along with his long, golden blond hair that was tied in a ponytail with just a regular hair tie.

I thought it was a woman.

"Hey, Tatsumi?  Is that the new employee talking to Konoe Kachou?" I asked my friend as I rushed over to him and gestured to the newcomer.

He had just gotten a cup of coffee from the coffeemaker, so he was a bit distracted, but he managed to slightly glance over to them and mutter in between sips, "I think it is…yes."

"Oh lucky, a lady!" I exclaimed with what felt like hearts in my eyes.  With more energy someone my age should have had, I bounded over to where Konoe and the new "girl" were, oblivious to what Tatsumi tried to tell me.

Apparently they were talking about how the newcomer liked Meifu so far, but "she" was barely able to get in a word with Konoe hogging the conversation.  It's true that old people like to ramble endlessly because they really have nothing else to do – once you get Konoe (and myself!) on a topic he likes, he won't get off it unless you physically sneak away from him…and even then, he probably continues without you.  "Ah, Tsuzuki," Konoe interjected into his own sentence upon seeing me approach them eagerly, "this is the new worker who's going to be in charge of area six, Watari Yutaka.  Watari, this is Tsuzuki Asato.  He's one of the senior members of the division in charge of area two."

"Oh, so you'll be working in the Kinki district?" I asked conversationally, trying to sound professional in hopes of impressing this beautiful "lady" with the lovely brown eyes.

"Aah…yes," was the shy response I received from this lovely creature…

I don't think I'll ever tell him this, but when I first heard his voice, thinking it was a woman's, it felt like my heart skipped a few beats and my whole body burned brightly.  In my mind, it was low and husky for a woman – reminding me of a cat stalking its prey – and it made her all the more beautiful and captivating.  "Since you're new and I am a senior member, I'd like to take you around and show you the ropes," I winked as I put on the magic and tried my hardest to seem positively irresistible to her.

Unfortunately, she seemed to be unfazed by my obvious charm, but she accepted and said "thank you" in that alluring voice just the same.  Konoe, though, had a few things to say to that…

"What?  You're going to let this slacker show you around?  I'll have you know that this is the laziest guy we have on the force!  The only thing he'll be able to show you is where the donuts are!" Konoe protested with a hearty laugh, slapping the newcomer's back – who just looked uncomfortable at the exchange – jovially.  I suppose he thought that wrecking my chances with this beautiful lady was funny…

After that, she probably wouldn't believe me if I kept trying to act professional, so I pulled the old "puppy" trick of mine.  It worked on Tatsumi every time so there's no reason why it wouldn't work on her.  "Aw, Kachou, hidoi!!!" I cried out in the cutest whine I could muster as the proverbial tail and ears sprouted.  "Finding the donuts is hard work because you eat them all!"  I poked at Konoe's stomach playfully for emphasis as I noted that the "lady" had nearly chibified herself at my puppy trick.

Konoe would have bounced back a devastating retort, I'm sure, if Tatsumi hadn't broken up a potentially fun argument to inform our boss that someone from Tenincho wished to speak to him.  "Aah, alright," the old man grumbled as he shot a mock-dirty look to me and went to his office to meet his visitor, leaving the three of us – Tatsumi, Watari, and I – alone.

"Ah, Tatsumi!" I exclaimed, my puppy trick having worn off, as I glanced between the two in hopes of playing the part of escort for this new woman.  "This is Watari Yutaka, the new employee who's going to be in charge of area two.  …Watari, this is Tatsumi Seiichiro, Konoe Kachou's secretary and the treasurer here."  Feeling somewhat important for introducing her to someone else, I took an imaginary step back to watch how things progressed socially.

They just stared at each other for at least ten seconds before Watari broke the uncomfortable silence between us with a slightly disrespectful mutter, looking quite overwhelmed in the process, "…Nice to meet you."  I remember thinking that maybe this "girl" wasn't a people person and that I was trying too hard to be a friend…like I always do.  Despite my efforts to make her feel welcomed, she still was just as shy as a few minutes ago.

Tatsumi was even worse, though.  He didn't even say anything; he just nodded his head in acknowledgement of this new person and excused himself to be busy with some papers, but he still remained within earshot.  …That…was slightly less than typical Tatsumi, though, I tried to justify to myself.

From my ex-partner, I should have learned to not try so hard when trying to make friends with others, but unfortunately, I'd make this same mistake over and over again.  "Ah, don't mind him," I tried to apologize to her on behalf of everyone.  "I don't think he's quite used to having a beautiful woman such as yourself in the division, and he never has been good wi–"

The look on Watari's face erased from my mind whatever words I was about to utter and instead, said so much more for me.  He turned bright shade of crimson and his finger wrapped nervously around a stray lock of blond hair as he tried to tell me, but just ended up stammering, "I-I…I'm not, um, I'm not a-a …w…I-I'm a man…!"

At once, my entire world fell and I heard nothing but complete and total silence…though Tatsumi later assured me that he was laughing like hell.

"A…a man…" I echoed as my facial features twitched ever so slightly and I felt the embarrassment of the world crash down on my shoulders.  Of all the stupid mistakes to make…and it was his first day, as well…!  I'd like to think that I gave him a great story to tell later down the road, but I think neither one of us have really recovered from the embarrassment and initial shock of that first encounter to relive it orally.

From under what felt like the scrutiny of the entire planet, I began a nervous laughter and he joined in reluctantly.  "O-of course I knew you were a man!" I slapped his back, knocking his glasses off, and continued on haphazardly, "I was just checking to see if you did!"

Watari let out an indignant squawk and bent down to pick up his glasses, leaving me with the golden opportunity to escape without further confrontation.  It was just as well, because he slipped off almost immediately to go back to work, probably.

"Tatsumi…!" I sang out of that nervous giddiness you get when you've just done something really stupid, like I did, and nearly danced over to his side.

He hunched over his desk with his head kept down, but his shoulders convulsed in silent laughter and left him nearly breathless as he tried to answer calmly, "Y-yes, Tsuzuki?"  He failed miserably at it, though.

"All right, all right," I gave in with my hands up in a mock surrender as he continued to laugh silently in that way only he can pull off without it being creepy, "get it all out of your system now.  If you laugh at me later, I'll toast you with Suzaku."  I still resent the fact that he took full advantage of that statement.

Tatsumi leaned back in his chair and partly covered his mouth with his hand as if to hide the obvious fact that he was laughing at me, but at the same time he was actually audible…

After a few seconds of his damned laughter, I said edgily, "Okay, you're done now!"  Having this vague feeling that he was doing this purposefully just to be mean, I tried my best kicked-puppy look on him, but it only made him laugh harder…

He just shook his head and gasped out, "…No, I-I'm really not…" before completely giving into more convulsive laughter.  Damn him.  In my years at Meifu, I've kept a list out of boredom of variously odd things my friends do and in all my years of knowing him, Tatsumi has only laughed like this three times.  The first time was a particularly embarrassing moment of mine nearly ten years ago involving chocolate cake and stairs, the second was this, and the third would be in a few years.

"…Yeah, I think you are," I argued and smacked him with a spare sheet of paper on his desk, increasingly aware of the odd looks we were receiving from our co-workers.

            Tatsumi just let out a few quick and barely audible snickers before giving in, "All right, all right; I'm done."  His normally cool and calm composure returned to his features and his lips were no longer in that rare smile of his, but his eyes were still bright – laughing at me silently.  That's just the way he was and is.  Everything about him is silent and subtle; every inflection in his motion and personality counts when you try to read him.

            I tried to think of something to say to him but the only thing that came out was: "How did you know?"

            "How didn't you?" he countered almost immediately, and I could see that his normally cold and pale blue eyes were a brilliant and laughing cerulean shade.  He kept his cool composure, but gave a smug smile to show me that he was going to milk this for all that it was worth.  Continuing to add insult to injury, he added, "He may have long hair, but you should have seen that his shoulders were much more broad than a woman's; also, when you talked to him, didn't his voice give anything away?"

            "I-I just thought that –" I tried to justify, but any feeble attempt at making yourself look less the idiot you actually are turns out to be fruitless under the gaze of Tatsumi Seiichiro, I've noticed.

             "On the contrary, you didn't think," he teased with a ruthless smile, and his eyes grew penetrating with that subtle nuance of superiority, "well, not with your brain, anyway…"

            I made a scoffing noise and prepared to say something I knew he hated to hear: "I'm sorry, but unlike you, I don't have ice water for blood!"  I never knew exactly why hearing that bothered him so much – like many things, I had the feeling it could be traced back to his lifetime – but to reassure him that I didn't mean it in complete seriousness, I gave him a warm and tranquil smile to counter the increased sharpness and dulled teal color in his eyes.  That seemed to mollify him a bit because his eyes brightened a little and returned to that beautiful cerulean shade, but they still kept that edgy sharpness that was so familiar to the secretary.

            That's the thing I love about Tatsumi's eyes.  He may seem to be the most rigid and supposedly unfeeling person you could come across, but if you pay attention to everything, you know he feels and feels strongly.  Over the years I've noticed that his eyes take on different shades of blue as his mood changes; they take on a brilliant cerulean shade when he's playful, a dark denim when he's angry, and a neutral indigo when at work, but I've seen his eyes change to subtle shades I can't quite name for various moods and occasions.

            Someday, I'd like to see every shade of blue in his eyes.

            Tatsumi changed the subject and started talking to me about the case Wakaba-chan and her partner had been on a few days ago; I only vaguely listened.  After decades of this, I can't really bring myself to tell him that I don't exactly like discussing or hearing about other employees' work; I hate to know what troubles they have because it just adds to my own.  Perhaps he notices my discomfort whenever we talk about this, but then again, perhaps he doesn't.

            I remember I was outside enjoying the false sun and lifeless trees when I first met Wakaba-chan.  I had only been a Shinigami for four years, and I guess you could say I wasn't exactly the person I am today.  A hobby of mine back then was thinking about how I should really just be burning in the depths of Hell instead of having a second chance as a Shinigami; even though I tried to put on a pleasant exterior, that preoccupied most of my thoughts for what seemed to be every waking second of the day.  …And then there she was, ribbons and all, right beside me, introducing herself in such a cheerful manner that it almost annoyed me and asking who I was.  It was only her second day as a Shinigami and after I met her, I couldn't believe how she eluded me on her first.  She was always so cheerful, even when it seemed she shouldn't be, but as she insisted on being friends with me, I realized that she had her share of problems and turmoil from her life as well.  It made me seem so selfish to be so absorbed in myself to neglect others.  From that revelation on, I vowed to put others before me like Wakaba-chan.  I guess you could say she was the one who made me into what I am today.  There are times when I curse her for that, but they're very sparse and few – she's a godsend to me the majority of the time.

            Slowly I was pulled out from the depths of my reminiscing by Tatsumi's gentle voice, laced with that light tone he likes to use when discussing office gossip or anything else that he really has no right in telling me.  Although I like juicy gossip just as much as the next guy, Tatsumi is the one who really thrives on it.  I suppose it's good that he does, though, because people are constantly spilling to or in front of him about various things, thinking that he doesn't really care or won't tell a soul.  The latter they're right on, to a certain extent.

            When I'm told something, which I rarely am if it's of a private matter, my intent is to never tell and keep that person's secrecy, but sometimes when I'm excited about something relating to the subject, I accidentally let it slip.  Hence why no one ever tells me anything secret, even though it's in my best intentions to not tell.  Tatsumi, though, files it away in his mind, never telling anyone initially until it proves to be of use to him – like with office politics.  Fortunately for him and others, this doesn't happen often and his reputation for being honest and trustworthy remains flawless.  It's not to say that he's not any of those things – because he is – but if I could name anything that bothered me about him, it would be the fact that he'll use something he's not supposed to for his own advantage.

            Hearing my name snapped me to attention; I apologized guiltily for spacing out when he was telling me something, and furthermore, being caught at it.

            Tatsumi's eyes, for that split second, shifted through varying degrees of blue, and when they finally settled on that playful shade of cerulean, I knew he was absolutely evil.  "Caught up thinking about our new co-worker, were you?" he teased with a smug look, and there was a moment of silence when I seriously contemplated picking up that stapler on his desk and smacking him in the face with it.

            He never did let me live that down.

Ending chapter notes: The whole reason I started on this "soon-to-be multi-part fic" way back in 2003 was because I got around to thinking about why some people don't like the pairings that they do…  I (little old judgmental me) really liked every single pairing in Yami, but I know that SupremeOverlordErin didn't quite like Tatsumi/Watari.  Now I really like this pairing so I tried to figure out why she didn't like it…and here's the result!  Hopefully you'll be able to see the conclusions I've come up with in their personalities and how they act.

Also, as you can see, it took me exactly a year to complete this (being a year exactly, though was entirely coincidental).  Why?  Because I am the epitome of lazy, that's why.  This may or may not be completed, I'm not sure.  I know where I want it to go and everything…but, like I said, look up 'lazy' in the dictionary and you'll probably see my name ^^;;