A/N: So I found an old laptop of mine a few days ago. I got it working again and found this story I had written a long time ago and forgot about. I really like it, so I finished it. :) My Evy series kind of evolved from this. This story is an AU where Jess is still alive. Dean is in it in a minimal way. In this story, Sam and Jess's five-year-old daughter Savannah is feeling neglected after the birth of her baby sister. During a week long vacation from school, Savannah is determined to get some of her parent's attention.
I also want to give an apology. I've shut off the PM feature of my account for the moment, and I've decided that I'm not going to be taking requests for a while. I am still going to write to relax, and I am working on some more Evy one shots. The story is way too long to type out here, but I'm basically fed up with some aspects of my life right now, so I decided to focus a little more on myself than I have been doing. I'm taking as much pressure off myself as I can, and that means cutting some obligations. So if you've tried to send me any requests lately, I'm sorry. I just can't do it right now. I hope everyone understands.
Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original characters of Savannah and Morgan Winchester do.
Five-year-old Savannah Winchester was, according to her teacher, very smart for her age. She could read books that most kids couldn't until the second grade. She could count all the way to fifty with no trouble, and one hundred if she really sat down and thought about it. Savannah was happy for the most part, but she had a problem. Six weeks earlier, her mommy had brought home a new baby sister, Morgan. She liked Morgan enough, but the new baby was making it hard for Savannah to be able to talk to mommy or daddy. She was always crying, taking her parents' attention, what little of it she could get, away from Savannah and putting it back on her. Savannah was out of school for the week because of Easter, and she was determined to get at least a little time with them.
Monday
Savannah sat on the couch, waiting patiently for the sound of daddy's car. He'd been gone since that morning, and it was almost dark now. She missed him. Mommy was in the kitchen, trying to make dinner and keep Morgan from crying. Baby Morgan was only a few weeks old, and it seemed to Savannah like she'd been crying ever since mommy and daddy had brought her home from the hospital. Unable to patiently wait any longer, Savannah went to the entrance of the kitchen and asked,
"Mommy, can I go wait for daddy on the front steps?"
"Sure, sweetie." Mommy said. "Don't go into the yard until Daddy pulls up, okay?"
"Okay, mommy."
Savannah walked outside and sat down on the top step. A few minutes later, Daddy's car pulled in, and Savannah waited until she heard the car turn off. When Sam had opened his door, Savannah called to him.
"Daddy!"
Daddy closed his door and turned to her, smiling. "Hey, Peanut." Sam said, bending down to pick her up.
"I missed you, daddy." Savannah said, little arms snaking around Sam's neck.
"Missed you too, little one." Sam said, kissing her cheek. "You have a good day here with mommy?"
"Yeah…"
Savannah started talking about her day, as Sam opened the door and walked inside. She had just reached lunch when Sam walked into the kitchen. He smiled at Jess, and walked over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Sam suddenly put a still talking Savannah down, and turned to Morgan, who grinned at the sight of her daddy.
"Hi, sweetheart." Sam cooed, scratching her chin. "I missed you."
It took Savannah a moment to realize that daddy wasn't paying attention to her anymore. She stood next to the table, waiting patiently for daddy to turn back to her. It hurt Savannah's feelings a lot when mommy and daddy would stop talking to her with no warning and just go to Morgan. But she didn't know how to tell them that, and they'd been doing it a lot lately. So when daddy finally stopped talking to mommy and Morgan, she tried to finish her story.
"Savannah, go upstairs and get washed up for dinner." Jess said.
"But, mommy…" Savannah started.
Jess was short on patience, as was normal lately. "Now, Savannah."
Dejected, Savannah did what she said. "Yes, mommy."
Savannah went to the bathroom to wash her hands. She was still too short to reach the sink by herself, and pulled out the stool that was kept in the small linen closet and put it right up next to the sink. She nearly cried, because until Morgan had arrived, daddy always helped her do this. Savannah decided to stop trying that night. She had the rest of the week. So she washed her hands, put the stool back, and then headed down for dinner. Mommy and Daddy talked about their days, and no one asked her any more questions about hers.
Tuesday
It was the middle of the day, and mommy was upstairs changing Morgan's diaper and trying to put her down for a nap. Savannah couldn't read a clock yet, but she could tell it was lunchtime. She was hungry. She was trying to be patient, but it was getting hard. Her stomach was rumbling. Savannah went to the kitchen to wait, and was surprised to find a plate there with a sandwich on it, a handful of chips, and an open juice box beside it. Savannah got into the chair. She picked up the sandwich and made a face. It was her favorite, grilled cheese, but it was cold now and the cheese was yucky. Savannah knew mommy was tired though, and decided to eat it without complaining. She waited, wanting to eat with mommy. But when she heard Morgan start crying again, she knew that mommy wouldn't be coming down for a while. So Savannah ate her lunch and went back to the living room to wait on mommy.
Jess came down a few minutes later. She noticed Savannah playing on the floor and suddenly felt a little stab of guilt. She had made lunch for Savannah and forgotten to tell her. She must be starving by now. Jess went into the kitchen to start making her another sandwich, and was surprised to find it was gone. Jess went back to the living room.
"Savannah, did you eat your lunch, sweetie?"
"Yes, mommy." Savannah answered. "I tried to put my plate in the sink, but I couldn't reach."
Jess felt a stab of guilt. She had promised to eat lunch with Savannah once she'd gotten Morgan to sleep, but it had taken longer than she thought it would. Jess walked over and hugged Savannah, who gratefully took hold of her mommy's neck and held on.
"You're such a good girl, you know that?"
Savannah let go of Jess's neck and grinned at her. "Thank you, mommy."
"You're welcome." Jess said, brushing some of Savannah's hair away from her face.
Savannah hugged Jess again. It was finally working! Jess checked the clock on the wall and yawned loudly. It was nearly time for Savannah's nap, and it was definitely time for her to take one. But Jess got an idea. Savannah had been exceptionally good that day, and she wasn't showing any sign of crankiness or tiredness. She had earned a reward, so Jess decided to just put her to bed earlier than normal that night.
"Hey, baby. Mommy needs a nap, but since you've been so good today, you don't have to take one if you don't want to. Just stay in the living room or your room and come find me or call me if you need me. Okay?"
Savannah's heart dropped. She had mommy's attention and didn't want to give it up. But mommy was yawning and looked really tired. She needed sleep. So Savannah decided, again, not to say anything. She let Jess go and said reluctantly,
"Okay, mommy."
"Good girl." Jess said.
Jess kissed Savannah forehead and ruffled her hair once before starting to head to her and Sam's bedroom. Savannah turned back to legos she had on the floor, then got an idea.
"Mommy?"
Jess turned back to her and smiled. "Yeah, sweetie?"
"Can I sleep with you?"
Jess was surprised, but agreed. "Sure. Come on."
Savannah practically ran to mommy and daddy's room. She jumped on the bed, and when mommy climbed in, Savannah curled up beside her. Jess smiled and kissed Savannah again.
"Sleep tight, sweetheart." Jess said.
"Mommy…"
Savannah started to say something, but mommy had already closed her eyes and was drifting into a deep sleep. So, sad and alone now, Savannah climbed out of bed and went back downstairs to keep playing. She was upset, and ended up leaning against the couch crying. A scary thought started to form in the back of her mind. Did mommy and daddy not love her anymore? Neither one seemed to really want to talk to her or spend time with her. They were always with Morgan, holding her and cuddling her, but Jess's hug had been the most uninterrupted contact she'd had with either of her parents in a long time. It made sense to her. So, after daddy got home that night, Savannah didn't say anything. She ate her dinner, went to bed when she was told, and cried herself to sleep when no one came to tuck her in.
Wednesday
Savannah felt a little better the next morning. She woke up early, just as daddy was getting ready to leave for work. She got a hug from him before he left, so she decided that she had been wrong the day before, and that her parents were just tired. So she decided to give them another chance. The next day was a little better. Morgan didn't cry as much as normal, so mommy spent a little time with her. But it was also a day where they had to run errands in town, so Jess was still distracted. Daddy did tuck Savannah in, but did it very quickly. Morgan was asleep, and daddy seemed really excited to get back to his room to spend some time with mommy. Savannah was happy with what she did get, but was disappointed when daddy left before she could ask for a story. Savannah laid down and went to sleep.
Savannah was walking down the sidewalk, holding mommy's hand on one side and daddy's on the other. They were swinging her back and forth, making her giggle. Suddenly Savannah heard a baby crying, and she saw Morgan in front of them. She was in midair, and mommy and daddy let her go, running to Morgan. Savannah hit the ground hard. She landed face down, scraping her knees and her chin. She was bleeding. She stood up and started crying, begging for them to come back and help her. Neither of them would. Savannah suddenly felt herself being pulled backward, slowly at first, then faster and faster. She screamed, kicked, and thrashed against whatever was pulling her back and away from her family. She called for mommy and daddy, but both of them ignored her and just continued to hold and cuddle Morgan.
"Savannah! Wake up!"
Savannah jumped up in bed, crying hard. She saw mommy and daddy sitting on the edge of her bed, and realized she'd just had a bad dream. A very bad dream. Daddy was closest to her, so Savannah launched herself at him, wrapping both arms around his stomach and squeezing hard. She didn't want him to let her go. Leaning against daddy, Savannah's fear was starting to melt away, albeit slowly.
Sam was concerned. Savannah had had bad dreams before, but never this bad. She was shaking so hard that Sam was shaking too. Her grip on him was like a vice. Sam pried her fingers loose from around his stomach. Savannah let out a loud wail of 'No!' as he did so, but Sam just repositioned her so that she was hugging his neck rather than his stomach. Unfortunately, Savannah's wail woke up Morgan, who promptly started crying too.
"I've got it." Jess said. "Figure out what happened with her."
Sam nodded, and much to Savannah's surprise, he did stay. She relaxed a little when she realized that daddy wasn't going to leave her. She loosened her grip on his neck, and her crying slowed down, but she refused to let him go. The dream had scared her, and she wanted daddy to stay there forever. The warmth from his body was soothing. She felt daddy's hand rubbing her back up and down.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Sam asked gently.
"Yes." Savannah said pitifully.
"Will you tell me about it?" Sam asked.
Savannah shook her head hard. Normally she did tell daddy or mommy about her bad dreams. It made her feel better, because they always made her feel safe and assured her that they loved her and cared about her. But that was the problem. Her dream had made her think that they didn't, and she was afraid if she told daddy about it that he'd tell her that the dream was real.
"Okay. Okay, honey, you don't have to." Sam said. "You're safe, Peanut."
"Daddy…" Savannah said, sobs escaping as she called for him.
"Shhh. I'm here." Sam said.
"Sam!" Jess's voice suddenly drifted down the hall. "I need your help!"
Sam groaned in frustration. Savannah had calmed down some, but she was still shaking and clinging to him. Sam laid Savannah down on her bed gently, but Savannah tried as hard as she could to keep her hold on him.
"Daddy, please, please don't go!" she begged.
Daddy leaned over her, and lovingly wiped her tears from her face. "I promise I'll be back."
"But why do you both have to go?" Savannah sobbed. "Daddy, please…"
She was scared, more scared than she'd ever been before. Daddy really was leaving her. Her nightmare was really was coming true. Sam seemed torn. He took one look down the hallway. When Jess called him again, Sam turned back to Savannah.
"I promise you, Peanut, I'll be back. I'll stay with you all night if that's what it takes, okay? Mommy and Morgan need me right now."
Sam kissed her forehead and then turned to leave. Savannah started crying again. She wanted to yell, but she had a painful lump in her throat, so what came out was barely above a whisper. Daddy didn't hear her as she said sadly,
"But I need you too."
Savannah laid down on her back, keeping her eye on the door waiting on daddy to come back. She couldn't stop crying, and eventually cried herself to sleep.
Thursday
When Savannah woke the next morning, it was hard to breathe. Her nose was all stuffed up and her face felt puffy. She wondered why, and then remembered her dream from the night before. She realized that she'd fallen asleep waiting for daddy to come back. But he hadn't. He'd left her there alone all night. Just like in her bad dream. She was so upset that when she found daddy downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast instead of mommy, she didn't ask why. She started crying all over again. She was right. Her parents didn't care about her anymore. They'd left her alone, scared and hurting, all because of Morgan. Sam was putting some pancakes on a plate, so he didn't see her right away, standing in the entrance with her teddy bear in one arm, and rubbing tears away with the fist of her other arm. As Sam turned off the stove, he finally spotted her.
"Hey, Peanut! Good morn…" Daddy saw her crying and bent down to his knees to check on her. "What's wrong?"
"You didn't come back last night!" Savannah said, hiccupping as she talked. "I waited for you."
"Honey, I did come back, but you were already asleep." Sam said, wiping her face.
"You said you'd stay with me!" Savannah protested. "Daddy, I needed you!"
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." Sam said, picking her up and walking over to the couch with her.
Finally, all Savannah's fear and heartache started to come out. She was mad at Sam, sure, but he was finally doing what she wanted. What she needed. She cried for what felt like a long time, and when she stopped, daddy was still holding her. Sam noticed that she wasn't holding onto him like she had the night before, just sitting in his lap and crying against his chest. Figuring that she was just upset about the dream, Sam decided to ask her about it.
"Did you have another nightmare after you went back to sleep?" Sam asked.
"No." Savannah answered. She was still too upset and hurt to talk much.
"Sit up, honey."
Savannah sat up reluctantly. She didn't want to talk right now, just wanted Sam to hold her. But once again she was too frustrated to tell Sam how she was feeling, so she just did as she was told.
"Sweetheart, I don't understand." Sam said. "If you didn't have another nightmare, why are you so upset right now?"
Savannah felt like screaming. How could she make him understand? "I went to sleep feeling scared, Daddy. You promised me you'd be there."
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
Savannah leaned into her father again. Sam still didn't entirely understand why she was still upset, but just figured she needed a little attention and then she'd be fine. So he held her for another few minutes, until her breathing slowed down and she seemed calm again.
"Hey, Savannah?"
"Yeah?" she asked.
"You ready for some breakfast, honey?"
"No." Savannah said. "'M not hungry."
A loud rumble told Sam what he needed to know-she was just being stubborn. "Are you sure? It might make you feel better."
Her stomach rambled again, and she decided Sam was right. "'Kay."
"Alright. Come on."
Figuring that Savannah needed to be held a little more, Sam picked her up and kept her in his lap while they ate breakfast together. Savannah was very, very quiet, and Sam started to grow worried. She still hadn't told him about the nightmare from the night before, and that was totally unlike her. Savannah had always been an emotional, slightly clingy child, but she was hanging onto Sam as if she'd disappear if he let her go. As they ate, Savannah finally asked about Jess.
"Daddy, where's mommy?"
"Mommy went out to visit some friends of hers from school." Sam explained. "I'm staying here with you today."
"Okay." Savannah said.
"What do you want to do today, honey?" Sam asked. "It's up to you."
"Can we…" Savannah thought very carefully about it. "Will you color with me?"
"Absolutely." Sam said. "Go get dressed while I wash the dishes and bring your coloring stuff downstairs. Okay?"
"Okay, daddy."
Savannah went up and got dressed quickly, not wanting to waste any time that she got with Sam. She grabbed her sketchpad, box whole crayons, box of broken crayons, and a couple coloring books. Sam was just wrapping up with the dishes when she came downstairs. They'd been working together for around a half hour. Sam was in the middle of a picture of Jess.
"Hey, Savannah?"
"Yes, daddy?" Savannah asked, looking up from her masterpiece to assist him.
"I'm almost done. What color should I make mommy's hair?"
Savannah very, very carefully considered the question. Sam bit his lip to keep from laughing at her when she bit her lip to come up with an answer. Finally, Savannah dug out a whole purple crayon.
"These ones." She declared, handing them to Sam.
"Pink and purple?" Sam asked, unable to keep from laughing now.
"Yeah." Savannah answered, giggling. "Purple's mommy's favorite color."
"It is." Sam said, impressed. As he took the crayon from her, he turned serious again. "Hey, Savannah?"
Savannah looked up again.
"Will you do something for me?" Sam asked.
"Sure, daddy." Savannah said. "What is it?"
"I want you to think about telling me what happened in that dream last night." Sam said.
"Oh." Savannah said, hanging her head. "Do I have to?"
Sam thought about telling her yes, she did have to, but he didn't want Savannah to feel pressured to tell him. He wanted Savannah to come to him willingly with her fears, and if he forced her to tell him, then in the future she might not come to him with anything that she needed help with.
"No." Sam said. "No, you don't have to. But do you know what bad dreams do for us?"
"What?" Savannah asked.
"Bad dreams help our brain work out stuff that's bothering us. Stuff that's scaring us. And if we can't make sense of them, then it helps to talk to someone else. That can help us not feel afraid anymore. Does that make sense?" Sam asked.
"I guess." Savannah answered.
"Okay. Just think about it, okay?" Sam said, leaning over and taking her hand.
Savannah looked up and smiled at him. "Okay."
Sam's heart leapt. "Okay, you'll tell me?"
"I'll think about it."
Before Sam could respond, a wail came from Morgan's room. Sam groaned, and Savannah frowned. Sam stood up, but stayed behind for a moment. He held Savannah's hand until she looked at him.
"I'll be back, okay?"
Sam's heart ached when he saw the doubt in Savannah's eyes. He felt guilty for not going back to her the night before, and realized that she might not trust him right now. That thought bothered him more than anything else. He was just about to leave when Savannah said,
"Okay, daddy."
Savannah sat and waited at the table for Sam to come back. She thought about what Sam had said. She knew exactly what she was afraid of. She was afraid of mommy and daddy leaving her for Morgan. But she was also afraid that if she told daddy that, that he would tell her she was right. She finished the picture she was working on, and finished two more, before she decided that she would tell daddy about her dream. She was tired of worrying about it. She worked on another picture, her fourth, when she realized something. She could draw daddy a picture of what was bothering her. That would help her explain it better. So she grabbed another piece of paper and set to work.
In the center, she started with drawing Sam. She drew a tall man, a really tall one, and gave him a black jacket with a tie, just like he wore to work. Sam had his arm around Jess, who came to Sam's shoulder, just like in real life. Jess was wearing a pretty white dress with flowers on it, holding Morgan in a blanket. Then came the hard part. Savannah drew herself over in the corner, away from her family. She gave herself a brown dress, her least favorite color. She gave herself a frown, and then dug out a blue crayon and drew tears coming down her face. Savannah was crying herself by the time she was finished. But she took a deep breath, and checked her work. She started to wait again for Sam, but when she realized that she couldn't hear Morgan crying anymore, Savannah picked up her picture and went upstairs to try and find Sam.
What she found broke her heart all over again. Sam was in Morgan's nursery, sitting in a rocking chair, holding her. He had fallen asleep, as had Morgan, and the two of them were cuddled up together, sleeping peacefully. There was no room for Savannah. Savannah carefully folded her picture in half, placing it carefully on Sam's lap, then turned and left the room. She started to go to her bedroom, then changed her mind and turned around to go to her parents' room. She very carefully climbed up the side of mommy and daddy's bed. On the nightstand next to the bed was a photo that Savannah picked up and placed in front of her. It had been taken at Savannah's fifth birthday party. Jess was pregnant, very pregnant, so Sam was holding Savannah. Savannah had one arm around Sam's neck and one arm around Jess's. She had birthday cake all over her face. Dean, unknown to either Jess or Sam at the time, was standing behind them sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes. Savannah remembered the day well. It felt like it was the last time mommy or daddy really wanted to spend any time with her. Savannah sat on the bed for a long time, just staring at the photo, feeling lonely and scared, wondering if there was any way to get her mommy and daddy back.
Sam slept hard in the rocking chair for around twenty minutes. He woke with a start, and instinctively tightened his hold on Morgan. He was confused for a second, then remembered he'd come in to calm Morgan down. Sam stood up and gently placed Morgan back in her crib. As he did, he felt something slip off his lap and hit the floor. He saw it was a folded piece of paper. Sam picked it up and unfolded it. It took a moment for him to realize what he was looking at, but when he did, Sam felt sick. He realized that over a half hour had passed since he came upstairs. Savannah was downstairs alone, just like Sam had promised she wouldn't be. Sam took the picture and walked down the hall, figuring Savannah would be in her bedroom. He stopped when he spotted Savannah sitting on their bed. She was sitting cross legged on the bed, with a photo in her lap, her bottom lip trembling.
Sam walked in slowly, the picture in his hand, his heart aching for her. She wasn't crying, but the look on her face was far worse. She was completely devastated, and looked as if she'd lost her best friend. As Sam got closer to her, he saw the dried tears on her face. She wasn't crying now, but she had been. Sam got on the other side of the bed, putting his feet up and leaning against the headboard. He wanted to reach over, pull her into his arms, and hold her forever. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was that she was hurt, and that his and Jess' thoughtlessness had caused it. But Sam knew she needed that Savannah needed to talk first, get out how she was feeling, before she would begin to forgive him. Sam unfolded the picture and put it between them.
"Savannah?" he asked. "Did you draw this?"
Savannah glanced over at her picture, nodded, then went back to her photo.
Sam felt as if his heart would beat out of his chest. "Can you tell me what it means?" he asked.
Savannah shook her head and her lip started trembling even harder.
Sam tried another approach. "If I guess, will you tell me?"
Savannah nodded, but still didn't say anything.
"Are you upset that mommy and I brought Morgan home?" Sam asked.
Savannah shook her head and finally spoke. "No. I like Morgan okay."
Sam couldn't resist cracking a small smile. "I'm glad. Can you tell me what you're feeling?"
Again, nothing.
Sam reached over and started to lightly stroke Savannah's hair. "Are you mad?"
"A little." Savannah whispered.
"Is there more?" Sam asked. Savannah didn't respond, but Sam kept guessing anyway. "Are you jealous?"
"No." Savannah answered truthfully.
She really wasn't; Morgan was just a baby. She understood that Morgan needed attention from Sam and Jess. She understood that Morgan needed more than she did. She wasn't angry Sam and Jess were giving her that attention. She was upset because they weren't giving her any at all. No matter what she did, no matter how good she tried to be, they just didn't want to spend any time with her.
"Honey, I'm sorry. I don't know how to help you. I need you to talk to me." Sam said, not impatiently, just lost.
Savannah, breath hitching in her chest, turned to her father and confessed, "It feels like you and mommy don't love me anymore."
"What?" Sam asked. "Why do you think that?" Before the question was out of his mouth, Sam made another connection to her somewhat sudden meltdown. "Sweetheart, does this have anything to do with your bad dream last night?"
Savannah nodded and wiped her eyes. "It came true."
"What do you mean it came true?" Sam asked. "What happened?"
Savannah finally told Sam the details of her dream, and Sam felt like she'd punched him in the stomach. He wanted to tell her that he and Jess would never leave her, but he couldn't. Five minutes after dreaming that Sam and Jess would leave her for Morgan when she needed them, they'd gone and done exactly that. Sam thought back carefully on the last few weeks since Morgan was born. He realized that he and Jess had been neglecting Savannah a lot since then. Not physically, but emotionally. Her attempts to get any attention from Jess or Sam was often brushed off, or a quick hug and kiss and then they'd send her out the door. Sam realized that drawing downstairs earlier was the most time Sam had spent with her since Morgan's arrival. He felt even more guilty when he realized that Savannah's behavior the last few weeks had been exceptional. She'd gotten nothing but glowing reviews from school. She had kept her room clean without being told, and was constantly asking how she could help either of them. Neither of them had praised her much at all. Sam placed a hand on her leg.
"Savannah. Baby, please look at me." Savannah turned after a long moment and looked at Sam. "I understand that me and mommy hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, honey. We didn't do it on purpose, but that's no excuse. I know you don't feel like it right now, but we love you, Savannah. Do you believe me?"
Savannah looked down. She didn't want to hurt Sam's feelings, but she wanted to be honest with him. "I don't know." She said.
Sam swallowed against the lump in his throat. "I am so sorry I ever made you doubt that, baby. I will find some way to convince you of it. But I will tell you this. I am very, very proud of you."
Savannah looked up, puzzled. "Proud of me? For what?"
"You've been so good ever since Morgan came home. You've been good at school, you've done all your chores, you've helped me and mommy whenever we've asked. We have noticed, baby. But I guess we didn't do a very good job of telling you, did we?"
Savannah didn't respond, just sniffed and wiped her eyes again. Sam wanted to reach out and hold her, but he wanted her to come to him. Before he had a chance to say anything else, Morgan woke up and was wailing. Sam groaned in frustration and Savannah started crying all over again. Never before had Sam been so willing to let one of his children cry. But suddenly, in the midst of the chaos and confusion of both his children in tears, Sam got an idea. He asked Savannah softly,
"Savannah? Will you come help me with Morgan?"
Savannah was so surprised she stopped crying. "Really?"
Sam smiled. "Yeah. If we work together, we might be able to get her calmed down faster and then we can talk some more."
Savannah thought about it for a moment, then smiled back at Sam through watery eyes and her tear streaked face. "Okay."
"Okay." Sam said. He cautiously put out his hand, and his heart leapt in his chest when Savannah took it. "Let's go."
Sam helped Savannah off the bed, and walked with her back to Morgan's room. Twenty minutes later, they had her calmed down. Sam turned the mobile above Morgan's crib, and for once, Morgan laid on her back and watched it with only the occasional cooing sound. Savannah crawled back into Sam's lap, craving the protective feeling it gave her as he wrapped his arms around her. They both sat watching Morgan in silence for a few minutes, before Savannah asked the question on her mind.
"Daddy?"
"Yep?" he asked.
"Why does Morgan cry so much?"
Sam smiled. "Well…" he said, squeezing Savannah a little tighter, "she's still really little, and the world's a big old scary place. So she doesn't know anything about it yet."
"So, she cries because she's scared?" Savannah asked.
"Sometimes." Sam said. "When she's not hungry or needing a diaper change or something like that."
"Oh." Savannah seemed to be thinking over his answer.
"Would you like to hear the story of the day you were born?" Sam asked.
Savannah nodded eagerly.
Sam smiled. "Well, I don't remember if I ever told you this, but for a long time after your mommy and I were married, the doctor told us we couldn't have children."
"Really?"
"Yep." Sam answered. "So when you came along, you became our miracle baby."
"Is that why mommy stands and stares at me next to my bed sometimes?" Savannah asked.
Sam snorted. "You knew about that?"
"Yeah." Savannah said. "She hasn't done it in a while though."
Sam frowned. Another way they'd not been paying much attention to Savannah. "Honey, I swear…" Sam said as he kissed the top of her head, "…me and mommy will make this up to you."
"How?" Savannah asked.
"I don't know." Sam answered. "I have to talk to mommy about that. But we'll find a way."
"I know you didn't mean to, daddy." Savannah said. She suddenly sat up and kissed Sam's cheek, then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you."
"Oh, I love you too, baby." Sam said. "I love you too." Sam tickled her a little bit, earning a giggle from her, before he got an idea. "Hey, Savannah."
"Yes, daddy?"
"You know where my cell phone is?" Sam asked.
"Um…" Savannah closed her eyes and thought about it a moment. "The kitchen table, right?"
"Right." Sam said. "Will you go get it and bring it to me, please?"
"Sure." Savannah climbed down off Sam's lap and ran to the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back and handed the phone to Sam. "Thank you, darling."
"What are you doing, daddy?" Savannah asked.
"You'll see." Sam said, grinning. He sent a quick text message, and less than thirty seconds after sending it, received a reply. "Hey, Savannah?"
"Yeah?" Savannah asked.
Sam put his phone in his front pocket and waved Savannah over to him. "What do you say we take Morgan to your uncle Dean's and go to the Children's Museum for a little while?"
Savannah's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?"
Sam laughed. "Yep. Really."
Savannah jumped into Sam's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting kisses on his cheek as she said over and over, "Thank you, daddy!"
Sam laughed as Savannah slathered him with kisses. "You're welcome, Peanut." When he had finally pried her off his neck, he set her down in front of him. "Go get your socks and shoes on while I dress Morgan."
Savannah looked at Morgan then back at Sam. "Can I help?"
Sam smiled. "Sure, sweetie."
When Sam explained the sudden need to watch Morgan, Dean insisted on keeping her for the night. They had an amazing time at the Children's Museum, and Sam realized that he'd missed Savannah as much as she'd missed him. They played, they laughed, and at Savannah's insistence, got ice cream when Sam asked if there was anything else he could do to make it up to her. As he finished helping her dress in her pajamas that night, he asked,
"Do you feel better, baby?"
Savannah grinned and nodded eagerly. "I had fun today, Daddy. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Peanut. I had fun with you too." When Savannah yawned, Sam glanced at the clock. "Time for bed, sweetie."
"Daddy? When does mommy come back?" Savannah asked.
"Around lunchtime tomorrow. Why?" Sam asked her.
"Can I sleep with you?" Savannah asked.
Sam smiled. "Sure, Peanut. You want me to read you a story?"
Savannah didn't even answer, just ran from Sam and towards her room. She came back with a book, which Sam gladly read to her three full times before looking down and seeing that she was fast asleep. Sam put the book down on the nightstand beside him, then turned on his side and took a long look at Savannah. She slept peacefully in her father's arms, and for the first tiem that day, Sam didn't feel guilty. For the first time in weeks, he wasn't frustrated, he wasn't exhausted; he was just lying there, totally absorbed by his oldest baby. He stroked her hair for a few minutes, before kissing her cheek and murmuring,
"Love you, Peanut. More than anything."
Friday
"Savannah. Wake up."
Sam jostled Savannah slightly. It was just after one. Sam had put her down for a nap an hour and a half earlier. Jess had come home right after, and Sam had filled her in on their conversation. They'd worked out a plan, one that Sam was excited to share with her now.
"Savannah. Come on, honey, wake up."
Savannah stirred and sat up slowly. "Daddy?" she asked, her eyes drooping.
"Hey, Peanut, I've got a surprise for you." Sam said.
"What is it?" Savannah asked. When Sam pointed at the doorway, Savannah perked up. She jumped out of bed and ran over yelling "Mommy!"
"Hi, baby!" Jess said, picking Savannah up and cradling her in her arms. She carried Savannah back over to the be, still clinging to her mother's neck. "I missed you!"
"Missed you too, mommy." Savannah said, pulling slightly away from her mom to sit between both her parents.
"So…" Jess asked, absentmindedly brushing back a hair behind Savannah's head. "Did you have a fun time with daddy?"
"Yeah!" Savannah said, looking back towards her father, who nodded in agreement.
Jess suddenly turned more serious. "Daddy told me you two had a long talk while I was away."
Savannah looked down and bit her lip, afraid Jess was upset with her based on her change in tone. "Yeah. We did."
"Sweetie, I'm so sorry." Jess said. "I'm so sorry me and daddy made you feel so bad."
Savannah looked up, relieved she wasn't in trouble and that she hadn't made mommy upset. She grinned and answered, "It's okay, mommy. I know you didn't mean it."
Jess smiled. "Daddy and I had a talk to. And he and I are gonna make some changes."
"What kind of changes?" Savannah asked.
"Well, first of all," Sam said, "one of us, me or mommy, is gonna pick you up from school every day."
Savannah was confused. "You do that now."
"Yeah, but, we're not gonna come straight home." Jess said. "Whoever picks you up is gonna spend an hour or so with you before coming home. We're gonna go to the park and talk about your day at school. Play for a few minutes, then come home."
"With just me?" Savannah asked.
"Just you, Peanut." Sam answered.
Savannah asked curiously, "What if it's raining?"
Jess giggled. "Then I guess we'll have to get ice cream."
Savannah's giggle made both her parents smile.
"What do you think, honey?" Sam asked.
Savannah's grin was infectious. "I like it."
"Good." Jess said. "But that's not all."
"It's not?" Savannah asked. "There's more?"
"Yep. We talked to your uncle Dean. He's gonna take Morgan every Friday or Saturday night for a while. Daddy and I are gonna spend that time with you." Jess explained.
Savannah looked at her parents with relieved tears in her eyes. Jess and Sam finally understood how she was feeling, and they weren't mad or upset as she'd been afraid they would be. They did love her and they did care about her. They had just gotten distracted taking care of Morgan and forgotten to let her know. But they were trying to change, trying to include her more, make her feel loved and special too. When one of the tears started to fall, Jess asked concerned,
"Honey, are you okay?"
Savannah smiled, looking from her mom to her dad and back again. "You do love me." She said quietly.
"Yes, baby, we do." Jess said. "So much."
"Savannah, your mom and I love you and your sister more than anything else in the world." Sam assured her. "And from now on, we're gonna make sure you both know that."
Savannah realized something was missing. "Where is Morgan?"
Sam smiled. "Well, what night is it?"
Savannah looked over at the calendar on her wall. She crossed off what day it was every day. Sam had gotten the idea when she'd started learning her days of the week. She would cross the day off then tell Sam or Jess what day it was. In two weeks she had had it down perfectly, but kept the habit of crossing days off on the calendar.
"Friday." Savannah answered, then gasped. "It's just us?"
"It's just us. Until tomorrow morning." Jess answered.
"But…you haven't seen Morgan for two days." Savannah said. "Won't you miss her?"
"I saw her on the way home, sweetie." Jess answered. "But it's sweet of you to think of that."
"Thank you, Mommy." Savannah said, wrapping her arms around Jess's neck.
She held an arm out for Sam to join the group hug too. He gladly did, wrapping both his girls in his big strong arms. Savannah finally felt at peace, loved, safe, and wanted by both her parents. They held her for a long time, until Jess finally decided it was time to do something.
"Alright, kiddo." She asked. "What do you want to do first?"
Sam had to stop himself from letting out an annoyed groan. Savannah had inherited Dean's bright green eyes, as well as, at times, his attitude. Sam had never seen Savannah look and sound so much like Dean than when she practically shouted her answer.
"PIE!"