Before I begin I must tell you that this fan fiction is intended
For mature readers just like the game is, also if you see any
Curse words like Fuck, Shit or anything like that please
Use your imagination to imagine that a bleeping sound
Comes into place at that time because we all know
It's much more funny if a bleeping sound
Does come into place than
Just the actual curse word
So without further adieu I present
"The Great Escape"
Prologue
As we all know Conker lost the love of his life and his "freedom" by having Berri killed And becoming king, which basically means he can't do the things he loved to do...get tanked. So now our hero Conker is still sitting on the throne thinking...thinking.... thinking.
Chapter 1
Conker took a sip of his milk; though he would rather enjoy an ice-cold beer at the moment...he tapped the armrest looking rather pissed. He looked down upon his "Knights" A patched up rat, a paint-bucket and its buddy. Some cogs, his guards, his buddy Rodent. A nasty sent went up to his nose, and he made a face as if he rubbed some Lemons on his face. He looked forward to see that the Aliens head was still on the floor And rotting, he looked at the plump guard "Hey, you! Fat guard!" said Conker the guard Turned around, it seemed a year passed by as he did. "Yes. .My king?" "Go get rid of that Aliens head" The guard looked to it and shuddered "Oh...err...I can't do that" "Why not?" asked Conker "Because.... It stinks" "Yeah.so?" "Why don't you get it?" said the Weasel "Because I'm the king, and I order you to do it!" "Oh...ok" The guard put down His staff and pulled up his pants; he walked over to the head, taking his sweet sweet time. He bent over and tried to pick it up, he grunted as if he was trying to take a rather large Shit, then he did, a large batch of shit stained his pants. Conker and the rest of his "Knights" looked away. "Fucking help me!" Yelled the plump guard, nobody else was willing too then the tall/skinny guard looked up to Conker, Conker made a gesture with His head to go help him. The tall guard shook its head and put down his staff "Fat ass." he said below his breath. He walked over to the head and helped picked it up, they were successful and so the walked out the door to go throw it out. Now was his chance. He looked around and found everybody was too busy to see his sneak out. He quickly but quietly hopped out of his throne and onto the floor, he started his seemingly long way to the doors then a voice came from behind him "Where the fuck you think yer goin'?" Conker turned around to see the paint bucket "Oh...I was just going to...eh...to go get a beer" "Why? We got a cellar full of whine" "Yeah I know, but I want beer" Then the paint brush came next to the paint bucket "Yeah he wants a beer" "Oh, so now your repeating him eh?" Said the paint bucket "I...Eh..I...Umm.." The brush was at a loss of words....Then the bucket looked back to Conker, only the was no Conker. "Its all your fucking fault! Fucking fucker!" Said the bucket to the brush...Meanwhile, if it is that. Conker was on the other side of the large doors, he thought to himself "Finally...I'm out" He checked his pockets to see what time it was 5:11PM, he then heard some footsteps approaching from ahead of him, it was the two guards, our hero quickly looked for a hiding place and seen a pedestal. He ran behind it, keeping his tail still. He could still see the gaurds from the corner of his eye though, and as they were about to push open the doors they looked his way the plump guard said "Hey...did you see that?" "See what?" replied the skinny guard, trying to take out some black material out of his teeth with a toothpick. The plump guard started to walk his direction and he was right next to him, but only looking straight, then he turned around going back towards the door. "What did you see?" Said the skinny weasel. "Oh, it was just some air.." they both walked into the throne room. Conker let out a breath of relive ness and walked down the hallway. He found himself outside the castle and at the broken bridge. He took off his crown and threw it on the floor, taking a leak on it. He zipped up his flyer and began to walk forward then something popped out of the ground in front of him. He fell back, landing on his buttocks he looked up to see no other than the scarecrow. "Hello...Its me again" Said the scarecrow hiccupping a bit, "Oh great" Said Conker standing up "What do you want?" said Conker, "Well I sorry...(burp)..but I can't let you pass" "Well...ill give you some money to let me pass" "Deal" He checked his pockets to find $99 and handed it to the scarecrow, It looked down at the money and back to Conker. "What?" said Conker "Well, you usually give me $100" "So?" "I need one more dollar" "Oh come now! Its only one dollar can't you let it slide?" "Ummm.... Ok but you owe me one" The scarecrow slid off towards the broken bridge and fell off...Conker shook his head in shame.
For mature readers just like the game is, also if you see any
Curse words like Fuck, Shit or anything like that please
Use your imagination to imagine that a bleeping sound
Comes into place at that time because we all know
It's much more funny if a bleeping sound
Does come into place than
Just the actual curse word
So without further adieu I present
"The Great Escape"
Prologue
As we all know Conker lost the love of his life and his "freedom" by having Berri killed And becoming king, which basically means he can't do the things he loved to do...get tanked. So now our hero Conker is still sitting on the throne thinking...thinking.... thinking.
Chapter 1
Conker took a sip of his milk; though he would rather enjoy an ice-cold beer at the moment...he tapped the armrest looking rather pissed. He looked down upon his "Knights" A patched up rat, a paint-bucket and its buddy. Some cogs, his guards, his buddy Rodent. A nasty sent went up to his nose, and he made a face as if he rubbed some Lemons on his face. He looked forward to see that the Aliens head was still on the floor And rotting, he looked at the plump guard "Hey, you! Fat guard!" said Conker the guard Turned around, it seemed a year passed by as he did. "Yes. .My king?" "Go get rid of that Aliens head" The guard looked to it and shuddered "Oh...err...I can't do that" "Why not?" asked Conker "Because.... It stinks" "Yeah.so?" "Why don't you get it?" said the Weasel "Because I'm the king, and I order you to do it!" "Oh...ok" The guard put down His staff and pulled up his pants; he walked over to the head, taking his sweet sweet time. He bent over and tried to pick it up, he grunted as if he was trying to take a rather large Shit, then he did, a large batch of shit stained his pants. Conker and the rest of his "Knights" looked away. "Fucking help me!" Yelled the plump guard, nobody else was willing too then the tall/skinny guard looked up to Conker, Conker made a gesture with His head to go help him. The tall guard shook its head and put down his staff "Fat ass." he said below his breath. He walked over to the head and helped picked it up, they were successful and so the walked out the door to go throw it out. Now was his chance. He looked around and found everybody was too busy to see his sneak out. He quickly but quietly hopped out of his throne and onto the floor, he started his seemingly long way to the doors then a voice came from behind him "Where the fuck you think yer goin'?" Conker turned around to see the paint bucket "Oh...I was just going to...eh...to go get a beer" "Why? We got a cellar full of whine" "Yeah I know, but I want beer" Then the paint brush came next to the paint bucket "Yeah he wants a beer" "Oh, so now your repeating him eh?" Said the paint bucket "I...Eh..I...Umm.." The brush was at a loss of words....Then the bucket looked back to Conker, only the was no Conker. "Its all your fucking fault! Fucking fucker!" Said the bucket to the brush...Meanwhile, if it is that. Conker was on the other side of the large doors, he thought to himself "Finally...I'm out" He checked his pockets to see what time it was 5:11PM, he then heard some footsteps approaching from ahead of him, it was the two guards, our hero quickly looked for a hiding place and seen a pedestal. He ran behind it, keeping his tail still. He could still see the gaurds from the corner of his eye though, and as they were about to push open the doors they looked his way the plump guard said "Hey...did you see that?" "See what?" replied the skinny guard, trying to take out some black material out of his teeth with a toothpick. The plump guard started to walk his direction and he was right next to him, but only looking straight, then he turned around going back towards the door. "What did you see?" Said the skinny weasel. "Oh, it was just some air.." they both walked into the throne room. Conker let out a breath of relive ness and walked down the hallway. He found himself outside the castle and at the broken bridge. He took off his crown and threw it on the floor, taking a leak on it. He zipped up his flyer and began to walk forward then something popped out of the ground in front of him. He fell back, landing on his buttocks he looked up to see no other than the scarecrow. "Hello...Its me again" Said the scarecrow hiccupping a bit, "Oh great" Said Conker standing up "What do you want?" said Conker, "Well I sorry...(burp)..but I can't let you pass" "Well...ill give you some money to let me pass" "Deal" He checked his pockets to find $99 and handed it to the scarecrow, It looked down at the money and back to Conker. "What?" said Conker "Well, you usually give me $100" "So?" "I need one more dollar" "Oh come now! Its only one dollar can't you let it slide?" "Ummm.... Ok but you owe me one" The scarecrow slid off towards the broken bridge and fell off...Conker shook his head in shame.