A/N: Hm, I think I'll do a no-nonsense author's note.

Well, here are the warnings: Fem!Canada, suicidal themes, cursing on occasion, sexual themes (it's high school, what do you expect?), OC's, human names (naming chart is on my profile), bending of human laws (Kumajiro is a legal pet), and some bending of Hetalia itself (Kumajiro is a boy...).

Oh! This first chapter is just a starter. The others will be longer, I guarantee.

Uh, that's all?

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, nor will I ever. Neither do I own any franchise or propaganda referenced in this fic, even if you've never heard of it before, I don't own it.

Please review!

I sighed as I sat at the edge of my bed. Nobody remembered me anyway, why should I worry. Aurthur told me it'd be painless. But he was still alive, so what would he know about death? Well, I guess black magic did help with his knowledge on everything creepy.

I shook my head and sighed. This wasn't going to happen if I just sat there and stared at the room.

It was surgically clean, like those rooms in magazines. I had organized everything so no one would have to go through the trouble of cleaning the place. My hockey gear was on one wall, next to the Canadian flag. My school books were all organized, as well as the other things on my desk. I stared at my closet next. I saw the dress mom bought me the week before. It was beautiful. Light powder blue and a little lace on the edges.

Should I die in it? No, it was too pretty to be soiled with all that blood. And didn't Arthur say you forever live in the clothes you die in? I think I'd like to be comfortable when I died.

I stood from the bed and looked through the closet to find what I was looking for. I was only wearing a towel because I'd taken a shower before I'd sat down on my bed. That was hours ago though. I sighed as I picked up my hoodie with a maple leaf on it. I tugged that over my bra, and I tugged a pair of baggy jeans over my boxers. I placed the towel in the bin I had in the closet for dirty clothes. I checked my pockets for anything valuable and found nothing. Good. I didn't want a pick pocket to steal from the sleeping girl in the river.

The next step in my routine was to look over to my desk. I stared down at my phone wallet, and all the things I didn't need. The only thing I did was grab the thread of leather with five beads on it and tie it around my neck. Mom gave it to me when I was little, when I didn't want to trust her. She said it would protect me from harm, that her tribe made each bead and blessed it. Ironic really, that I tied it around my neck before I jump from a bridge. Looks like it wouldn't provide the protection she wanted it to.

I glanced in the mirror. The barrettes that kept the hair out of my face were on the desk, letting my overgrown bangs hang in front of my eyes. I tucked them behind my ear and pulled my pigtails into my hoodie. Should I wear my glasses? Will they get crushed when I fall? I won't be able to make my way to the bridge if I couldn't see a foot in front of my face. When I'm dead, will I have better vision? Legally blind is something as horrible as blind itself.

I adjusted my glasses, deciding to keep them on before slowly creeping out the door. I walked down the stairs from my attic room, down another set of stairs, and through the hall on the first level of my house, passing Mom's room. I heard her soft radio playing but I also heard her snores. I guess being a single mother of adopted twins was more than she could handle. I thought about poking my head in and saying goodbye, but I turned my stony face down the hall. The clock on the wall read 2:35. It wasn't surprising that when I passed Alfred's room next to the kitchen, I heard his loud snoring.

This time, I slipped in and stepped to his bed. My steps were silent, as they always are, so he didn't stir. I sighed and stroked his hair, like a mother. I always was mothering to him, even if he was older. He was more protective than a mother bear when he wanted to be. I chuckled at the thought and looked down at him. I fiddled with the small bracelet on his wrist that matched mine. We made them in the first grade, all those years ago. I sighed again and crouched down.

"Good bye Alfred." I whispered softly. I kissed his forehead like a mother would and stood up before leaving the room.

The door closed behind me and I sighed. Turning back wasn't allowed anymore. I'd gotten this far to many times before and stopped. It wasn't worth it to keep going on with normal life now. I just passed finals, the school year was practically over, I wouldn't be missed. Mom would be to busy with work to notice my absence, Al has his friends, and coach wouldn't need me until December, and by that time, he would have forgotten me. I didn't even have friends that would miss me.

While I was thinking, I'd already passed my door, and closed it softly. I walked through the yard quickly, ignoring our car. I didn't know how to drive it anyway.

As I walked through the deserted streets, I started remembering everything from when I was a kid. Things that didn't matter, things I hadn't thought about in years.

I remembered a day when I was still a baby. My real Mom and Dad were yelling in the next room. Neither me nor my brother understood their words, but we knew the faces, even when we couldn't see them. They were angry. So angry...

The next thing I remembered was when I was three. I was with my real mom. This was after Mom and Dad broke apart. This was when Alfred wasn't living with me. Mom had another baby, his name was Ian. Ian's daddy was a really big guy. One day mom was out, and Ian was crying. Ian's daddy didn't like crying, so he shook Ian. Ian got really messed up, and he never got better again.

The next one was when I was eight. I broke my arm when I was playing with Ian. It hurt so much. I wished Alfred was with me, but that wish wasn't fulfilled. I got a cast on it. Nobody at school wanted to sign it, but Ian drew me things, like polar bears and maple leafs. He even was able to write his name a few times. Mom was really proud of him.

I was eleven. Ian was with Mom's sister. Mom was driving me to hockey practice when it happened. We crashed. The last thing I remembered was seeing her smiling face when I made a joke about Dad and Alfred. I looked ahead and saw two bright lights through the windshield. They were yellow. Like a light bulb in a dining room or a street light gives out yellow light as opposed to the white light florescent lights give off. I was knocked out of the car, shattering both my legs. I got a lot of scars and hurt, but mom was stuck in the car when it tipped off the side of the road. The man driving the truck called the medical staff and I was brought to the hospital. Dad had to fly up to Halifax, Nova Scotia, all the way from Seattle. It was one of the only times I'd seen Alfred. Dad said I'd be living with them until I could leave, just like Al. I didn't see Ian after that. I only got letters.

It was only a year after. I was 12, and out of the wheelchair I'd been in after the crash. Dad told me and Alfred to stay in the loft while he went to the store. We were out of eggs. He didn't come back from the snow storm. The next morning when me and Alfred were watching the news, they were talking about a murder. It was Dad. He had the eggs we needed and maple syrup. He got it for me, but he never got home for me to thank him.

Half a year after Dad died, we were taken out of the foster homes system. A nice Native American Woman adopted us. Her name was Shikoba Harjo. She said she was Cherokee. She was my new mom. She took care of us and enrolled us in a good school. To bad she soon took a favorite. I was ignored quickly and I stopped believing she loved me like her own child.

I shook my head swiftly and saw my journey was over. I walked through the suburban area while I thought. I was already in the town center, so close to the river. I guess that was my life flashing before my eyes. That was fast, but I guess only the important things get in your slide show of your life.

I sighed as I walked along the cement infront of a few stores. A chocolate shop, a shoe store, a gym, a bakery. At the window of the bakery I stopped. I looked down at the cakes and pastries. Where I was going, would they have those? They looked delicious. I tucked my bangs behind my ear again, as they fell in front of my eyes. I straitened up and looked through the window. I thought I saw someone in the darkness of the back of the shop, a hallway or a set of stairs even, but I knew it wasn't what I thought because the faint outline of the person vanished.

If that was a person, would they have stopped me if they knew what I was doing? I quickly chased that thought out of my head and turned to walk down the street. That wasn't a person, it was my imagination. If it was, they didn't even see me. Nobody ever saw me. My mind was playing tricks on me.

I walked down the street, not hurrying nor lagging behind the pace of imaginary people I envisioned walking down the familiar streets. I sighed as I passed the college the town was built around. The one Mom- no- Shikoba wanted me and Alfred to go to. It wasn't extremely special, but it had a reputation for funny teachers and easy school life. The swallows after that point on were dry, because I found myself actually getting nervous about what I was going to be doing next.

The pet store, the Sunflower Market, the family owned stores of the town all passed me as I walked to the bridge. It was in sight. The black and gray metal didn't have much fence, so it would be easy to jump from. Before I knew it, I had two fists clenched around the metal and a boot in a link of the fence. I was at the top of the fence. I sat there, not because I didn't want to jump, but to look at what surrounded me.

The moon shone on my face and the bridge was strangely void of all cars. It was 3:00 by now. I saw the clouds start to crowd the moon light, giving it a haunted look. The pine forest in the distance framed the slowly clouding sky. I adjusted my glasses again and felt something strange. Tears.

Tears were pouring down my cheeks. It was the first time in a while. I didn't start crying when I left the house, not when I remembered everything, but when I saw the scene of the moon and the river and the forest and the clouds. I closed my eyes to listen to the river below. It smelled lovely, like water in the mountains. It was beautiful. It almost made me want to clamber down from the fence and walk home. Almost. As soon as the moment of bliss was gone, I felt that strange empty feeling again. I didn't deserve to be alive. Nobody wanted me there. It was going to be over.

I felt my hands grip tighter onto the fence as I sat there.

"Hey!"

They were getting ready to throw me off.

"Hey you!"

It was going to stop. I would be in peace.

"Girl! What are you doing?"

No one was stopping me, so now I will leave.

"Get down from there!"

My arms pushed me forward.

"You could fall!"

I smiled at the feeling of being weightless. It was beautiful.

"STOP!"

I did it. I was falling. But something was wrong. Very wrong. Something was dragging on my sleeve. I didn't want to open my eyes to see something horrible to replace the beautiful sight of the sky and the moon, but I had to. I was still falling, but I opened my eyes to see a hand sticking out of the fence. My arm had only just slipped out of it's grasp.

As I was falling fast, I looked up at the person that belonged to the hand. I could only see one thing.

Such piercing, pleading, red-orange eyes.

Then it turned to black.

My eyes flicked open to see the sunlight pouring through the windows of my room. I stared at the ceiling and felt my fists ball up in the blankets. I couldn't believe it was just a dream. Only a dream...

I must have been sleepwalking. I was wearing everything from my dream, even the leather and bead necklace.

"I guess dreams foreshadow life." I said darkly and sat up.

Another day of hell I would sit through, I guess.