Ok.

Hello. Here is my story. Should anyone actually click on this thing and read it, I issue you a warning: This story will eventually deal with topics that aren't always pleasant to read about. Please understand that any ideas or opinions expressed are not meant to cause offence, only to depict the nature of the characters. The language can be colourful, and Bella's not excessively fond of children or organised religion. She does like her gin and tonics though. On a more serious note, there will be issues of self harm, drug use, sex and all the repercussions of those things, so approach that as your instincts dictate.

But keep an open mind! I can assure you the scariest thing here is me thinking its ok to put my haphazard, grammatically incorrect writing on the internet for people to actually read. There is no beta. I'm um, keeping it real.

For reasons outlined above this is strictly ADULTS ONLY, and if you don't respect that... well that's kinda your problem.

I don't own these characters.

Oh, and lastly, I'm not American. I've tried to make this an American story and convert all my spelling to US specifications, but if you come across any whoopsies, you'll know why.

Feedback would be sweet.

Cheers.

BPOV

There were certain things in this life that made me stop, and think '….huh?'

Some of these were large scale. For example, how some dude once decided to write a pretty story about the moral code of conduct and all of a sudden people across the world bowed down and said "Amen Jesus Christ, if it weren't for you I never would've figured out that murder was bad."

….Huuh?

Or, how only seventy odd years ago, six million Jews were ruthlessly slaughtered because one man decided he wasn't really down with brunettes.

….Huuuh?

Or more topically, how reality TV had become a celebrated media venture. Why women enjoyed having false talons glued to their fingertips. How Nickelback was ever signed to a record label.

A thousand times …huuuuuh?

But presently, my 'huh?' moment was standing right in front of me, waiting to usher me across the threshold of my childhood home. My dad. Charlie Swan. This whole scenario qualified as a moment because it was not 24 hours ago that I'd traded in my fast-paced, cultured, exciting lifestyle in California to move back to Forks and live with my father.

Forks, the town where adventure and exhilaration comes to die a very slow, uneventful death. And the chorus goes…

If I looked at it in only those terms, then yes it was definitely mind-boggling. But in truth, even though I couldn't quite believe I was back here, the 'huh' aspect was steadily transforming into a resigned 'hmmm.' This was where I needed to be right now. In this place I could conceivably finish up my high school education and move into adulthood with relative peace and quiet. The damage had been done back home and I couldn't fucking live that life anymore. So, though it may appear to be a strange choice for a teenager to make, and though said choice may not have been an entirely unilateral one, I was really coming to terms with my new circumstances.

I smiled up at Charlie who looked totally chuffed to have me back under his roof. He'd always been an awesome dude and though our relationship had been long distance for many years, we had a good connection.

We entered the house and headed straight up the stairs to my bedroom to dump my luggage. The only thing that had changed was the new double bed which was placed in the middle of the room, stark naked awaiting new covers.

"Wow, Dad you didn't have to upgrade, I would've been fine on the old bed." I was lying through my teeth. That thing had been fucking uncomfortable and I was far too accustomed to my large mattress at Renee's to revert now.

"Nah, that old bed was on its last legs, couldn't have it collapsing on you in the middle of the night." He piled up my suitcase and duffle bags in front of the closet.

I moved over to bounce on the bed and it was heavenly. "Thanks a lot, its really comfy."

"You wanna unpack straight away?"

"I'm not that efficient." I grinned, if I were to hazard a guess my shit would still be in its bags this time next week, with the exception of necessities.

"Well come downstairs then, I'll make us some coffee and we can catch up properly. Someone was a bit drowsy on the ride home." His mouth curled at the corners as he ruffled my hair.

"Ok, be down in a second." I replied, smiling. I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up somewhat. It wasn't my fault I was tired on the drive to Forks. I had to sit next to a child on the plane and between alllllllll the inane questions and the depositing of salt and pepper into my orange juice I'd developed a sizable headache and deep respect for the inventors of contraception.

When I pushed my way through the bathroom door I stopped up short and dropped my jaw in a gasp.

"Dad! When did you redo the bathroom?" I yelled, the excitement uncontainable. If you'd seen the old bathroom, you'd understand.

"What?" I heard his response from directly below me. I forgot about washing my face and scrambled down the stairs to shower him with gratitude, no pun intended.

"The new bathroom! What made you decide to finally renovate?"

"It was getting pretty old, it was just time I guess." Charlie answered, not looking me in the eye.

"Jane made you, didn't she?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Said I'd never get her to stay over if I didn't." he smiled sheepishly and I couldn't help but warm to it. I'd never spent much time with Jane but I knew she was important, and from the looks of things upstairs, she was a very good influence on my father.

"Here, have a seat." We settled ourselves around the kitchen table and I reached for the steaming cup in front of me.

"Listen Bella, I'm beyond thrilled that you're here to stay with me. I know what your mother is like, and I know you were left alone a lot while she committed herself to various high society circles and activities, or swanned off overseas with Allan."

"Alisdair." I corrected, emphasizing the obnoxious inflection that he always demanded, for some inexplicable reason. I think he thought it made him sound worldly and bourgeois.

"Hmmph right." That was Charlie-speak for 'what a wanky son of a bitch'. "Anyway, I'm a little concerned about some of the things Renee told me about your life in LA. I need to hear everything from you though, because I know how much she... I know how hysterical she can get. So, what was going on with all those friends of yours? No bullshit."

"No bullshit? My friends got into drugs." I stated simply.

"And did you?" His tight voice betrayed the even-tempered facade he was obviously aiming for.

Pushing the edit button… "I tried pot a few times. But I know you did when you were younger so don't feed me the lecture ok? It was stupid, but most teenagers try it at some point. I'm not interested in any of that though. Why do you think I was so keen to get away?" This was pretty close to the truth. I had been eager to come here, but it certainly wasn't pot I was messing around with. And I certainly wouldn't turn down a few lines right about now. But what good would it do for Charlie to stress about that? Its not like I had connections in Forks anyway. It was done. Slap a 'Just Say No' t-shirt on me and give me a petition board. I wanted to be different here.

"I can't say I'm not disappointed that you caved to social pressures Bell, I thought you'd be above that. But what I do appreciate is your honesty. I know you're not some little naïve lamb so I'm not going to treat you like one. When I was growing up my parents made a deal with me: if I was honest about what I was doing and I wasn't hurting myself or anyone else, they usually let me do it. Do those sound like reasonable terms to you?"

"Absolutely. I didn't come here to try and give you the run around."

"Glad to hear it. As you know, I've been seeing Jane for a while, and we usually spend a few nights together a week. I know she wants to give you space to settle in before she stays over here… so it's likely I'll be spending more time at her place. I also have a few conferences to attend between now and April. Will I be able to trust you while I'm out of the house?"

"You absolutely can, I promise. I'll let you know what's going on in my life Dad. In fact, it'll be a nice change to have someone who's interested."

"You're doing a pretty good job of convincing me you're a highly mature seventeen-year-old." He winked over the top of his coffee mug.

I snorted, "Well, like you said, I basically brought myself up."

Charlie's happy face quickly deteriorated into a remorseful grimace. Shit.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. You were always there for me, it's just a shame I had to live with her for so long." I smiled at him apologetically, mentally shooting myself for making him feel bad.

"Alright. Well, serious talk over. I thought I'd take you out for dinner tonight. Our options are sorely lacking compared to the hipster joints in Los Feliz, but there are a few decent places around."

"Actually, could we go to the diner? I miss that place."

Charlie beamed, obviously fucking stoked that I hadn't joined the rawtil4/kaleeverything/detoxeventhoughyourbodynaturallydetoxesforyoueveryday movement in all my years as a Valley girl.