Tal de Loj

by Gallian Squad 7

The start to a patrol is normally very boring. But, on this particular day, Rex discovers something new about his Generals. May the Force be with him, for sanity and war have gone out for drinks.

…What, I'm bored? Also, who hasn't had the idea that Yoda is secretly the greatest prankster in galactic history?

Now, happy Tal de Loj everyone!

It was a strange vibe Rex woke to that day.

He and the 501st had been cycled back to Coruscant for the first time in months, every clone enjoying their two weeks of shore leave as only clones could.

Getting piss drunk and hitting on anything with tits.

Now though, they were back on the Resolute and heading out on yet another patrol. Only problem was, both the General and the Commander were whispering whenever Rex saw them together and even General Windu, who was joining them on this patrol along with the 187th, had been even more tightlipped than usual.

As far as Rex was aware, the patrol was beyond routine. It made the feeling of tension he'd woken up to all the stranger.

Blast it, why do I feel like something's gone wrong? Maybe Pons can clear this up for me, he's worked with General Windu long enough.

Sighing, he stood from his spot in the mess hall and wandered down the halls, automatically returning the salutes of the shinnies while waving to his veterans.

Rex may have been no-nonsense when he was before the generals, but damn if he wasn't at least friendly with the ones he'd already fought with.

Eventually, after an hour of wandering through white halls and avoiding service droids, he happened upon his fellow officer. "Pons."

The other clone turned to face him, an identical frown on his face. "Let me guess, the General's attitudes are getting to you too?"

Rex sighed. "You can say that again. They're being incredibly secretive and I don't like it. Maybe there's more to this patrol than we know?"

Pons stroked his chin. "I don't know. All I can tell you was that General Windu was very exasperated to learn we'd be joining up with you guys. He didn't really say anything, I could tell by his tone."

Rex felt a smirk tug at his lips. "Well, the General's not easy to work with, nor is the Commander. Can only imagine having to deal with them longer than we have."

Pons cracked a smile. "Hear-hear. It's been what, a year and a half?"

Rex shrugged. "Give or take. At this point, I just want to blow Gunray to pieces or slag Grievous and be done with it."

Pons frowned. "You and me both… say do you hear something buzzing?"

Rex pursed his lips and listened intently. Now that Pons mentioned it, there was a buzz in the air. "Is there a maintenance detail scheduled for now?"

Pons almost answered before a loud bang echoed through the hall. Every clone in the area instinctively hit the floor, only standing when it was apparent nothing had actually caught fire.

Rex started running down the hall. "I'll check it out! You contact the Generals, and make sure Admiral Yularen knows too!"

He didn't see Pons already doing so, his steps carrying him through the halls towards what he believed was the source of the bang. However, instead of the expected smoke and repair crew, he found a large number of his brothers and the normal crew rolling on the floor.

Every last one was howling in laughter.

Now curious, Rex picked his way through the flailing bodies until he arrived at the mess hall he'd left earlier. There was a distinct sound coming from the hall, and Rex swore he'd heard it before. Peaking inside, Rex felt his jaw drop.

There, in the center of the hall, was a group of his veterans. Each had instruments of some sort, creating what Rex vaguely recognized as a jazz band. There was Fives, Hardcase, Echo, Appo, Fox, and several others. Then, in the center of it all, was one Ahsoka Tano blaring away on a tuba.

Rex was unsure how the young Togruta was even able to carry such a massive chunk of metal, let alone play it so well, but what sold the whole scene was the absolute mess that splattered everywhere from the ceiling to the damn band.

Rex finally recognized the song they were playing, a smirk tugging at his lips. The young Padawan had grown obsessed with the piece during their break, so it wasn't that surprising.

As he thought this, the little band broke into the final chorus.

"In the dream that pulls you along,

Won't go carrying a jellybean,

In your dreams they're never on top,

Let's get funky… Pumpkinhead!"

One last note blared through the room before it came to an end. Applause rained on the band, each member bowing before making way for Ahsoka to talk.

"Thank you boys!" She called over the din of whoops and cheers. "We hope you enjoyed your in-flight meal and entertainment! I would like to thank my wonderful bandmates who I eagerly recruited to join me in this little stunt. Now, I leave you all with one final word."

She paused dramatically, not caring her entire body had myriad foodstuff sticking to it. Rex, honestly curious, leaned in a bit along with the other clones.

Ahsoka grew a devious smirk. "Hardcase rigged the dispensers!"

With strength only the force could give, Ahsoka abandoned the tuba and took off running, Hardcase giving immediate chase. Rex rolled his eyes before putting his finger to his lips and whistling.

Every eye turned to him and salutes were swiftly given, even the boys that had caused this whole mess.

Putting on his best stern face, Rex stalked into the hall, walking right up to Echo before running a finger along his chest plate and staring at the gunk that remained.

"Clean it up," he deadpanned. "You'll all be on clean-up for the next two weeks too."

His men stayed at attention, each barking an affirmative. Rex turned on his heel and stalked back out of the hall, ears catching the dejected mutterings of Echo. A smirk surfaced on his face, away from the prying eyes of the others, when he turned the corner and found the two older Jedi walking towards him.

Rex saluted immediately. "Generals."

Anakin waved him down. "No need for formalities right now Rex. We got a report from Pons that something had happened down here, so we came to check it out."

Rex felt himself grimace. "Oh, right. Well… how do I explain this?"

Windu sighed. "There's no need to be nervous Captain, I already suspect it's something foolish."

Rex sighed in turn. "Well… Commander Tano got some help from some of my boys and made the dispensers in the mess hall go mad. Entire room's covered in every kind of gunk you can imagine coming out of those things."

Anakin frowned. "That it?"

Rex shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I walked in and all of the conspirators were sitting on a table and playing jazz tunes. Commander Tano was playing a tuba."

Both Anakin and Windu were stunned, judging by how their faces grew slack and their eyes blinked in unison.

That is, until Anakin started laughing heartily. "Ah, I knew Snips was up to something! There's no way she'd ever have to bring such a big package on the ship if we weren't out here today."

Windu…smiled. It was a sight so rare; Rex had been told seeing it brought a lifetime of good fortune. "I suppose we should explain, commader. Today's one of the older traditions of the Jedi Order, though one that normally doesn't go beyond the Temple. It's called Tal de Loj, or 'Day of Joy' where the members of our Order are allowed to relax."

Anakin smirked. "It's been a big thing ever since Master Yoda took the head seat on the Council. A few of the knights just go out and relax, but most…"

Anakin turned to Windu, who simply rolled his eyes. "Most of the Order uses the occasion to pull pranks. Master Yoda in particular enjoys pulling off rather elaborate stunts on those that tend to get… stubborn."

Anakin smiled nostalgically. "I remember one time before my knight trials. Master Obi-Wan and Master Yoda decided my head was getting full and led me on quite the chase. It ended with me looking like a Hutt with how much slime I got covered in."

Windu shook his head. "Now's not the time to reminisce. GO find your padawan and speak with her about this. I understand every learner looks forward to today, but we're on a warship."

Anakin sighed before looking back to the shell-shocked Rex. "Ah, don't give me that look. I didn't have time to come up with anything with all the meetings I had to go to."

He walked past, patting Rex on the shoulder and whispering something as he passed. "Oh, and don't go near the bunks around noon. Ahsoka goes to meditate around then."

Rex knew that devious grin anywhere and had to take a calming breath. This took the entire image of being noble warriors that the Jedi constantly put out and throw it in the incenirator.

Once Anakin was gone, Windu crossed his arms. "Those two will be the death of me, if not from the stress, then from their idea of 'pranks'."

He ran a hand over his head. "They've already made me lose my hair."

Rex didn't know how to respond to that, but his face must have been rather obvious.

"Go ahead and spit it out, Captain," Windu sighed. "I know when I've put my foot in my mouth."

Rex loosed his tightened shoulders. "So… you actually had hair, sir? You weren't born bald?"

If Windu rolled his eyes any harder they would have popped out. "Never heard that one before. Alright, I think we should both get moving. I need to talk to Pons, so do you mind giving this chip to the Admiral? It has my report on the 187th and our supplies."

Rex nodded and took the offered chit, storing it in one of his many pockets. "Will do sir. Oh, uh, I don't think I'll be going anywhere after I deliver this, so would you mind informing General Skywalker if he needs me?"

Windu nodded. "I'll do that. We'll talk later, preferably after all this is done."

He turned and walked away, leaving Rex alone in the hallway. He was thankful for the solitude, if only so he could gather his thoughts.

Never thought I'd be happy for all the chaos back there. Let's just hope Anakin doesn't do anything too crazy.

With that in mind, Rex made his way to the nearest elevator and punched in the code for the command deck. The nice thing about the two towers was their central location, making it easy to get from the Lardies to the bridge.

Glancing at his chronometer, Rex blinked. Past noon already? Why do I have a bad feeling about what I'm going to be walking in to?

Sighing for the umpteenth time, Rex patiently waited for the doors to part.

When they parted, he was greeted with the sight of Commander Tano yelling various obscenities in Huttese at her master. Anakin, for his part, was roaring in laughter along with most of the bridge crew.

Then again, it wasn't every day you had a respected commander storm the bridge looking like General Secura had just had the misfortune of flying through a flock of Ash Angels. She even had fake blue leku bouncing on her horns at odd angles.

Rex couldn't help the snort that escaped him, though he thankfully evaded the irate Padawan's gaze as she stalked back to the elevator. Waiting for the commotion to die down, Rex walked up to the front of the bridge where Admiral Yularen was pinching his nose.

Rex saluted. "Admiral. Rough day so far?"

The older gentleman huffed. "Quite so, Captain. I already know of the stunt our young friend pulled in the mess hall, thank you for dealing with that by the way, before we had one of the panels up here decide to burst into flame."

He nodded to one of the command rows, flame retardant foam sizzling on the metal. "It'll take Sigma another few hours to get that in order."

Rex nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I understand. Did either of the Generals explain what was going on?"

Yularen gestured to the recovering Anakin. "General Skywalker informed me shortly before young Ahsoka joined us and aired her grievances. I personally think it's just an excuse for the two of them to act silly, but I will contact Captain Torrin when we come out of hyperspace."

Rex scratched his chin. "He's escorting General Yoda, right? Guess it's always best to get to the source."

Yularen sighed. "Exactly. Now then, what brings you up here? No more mischief I hope?"

Rex pointed to the holoprojector. "General Windu gave me a chit with a summary report on the 187th. Thought you and the General would like to give it a once over."

Yularen smiled. "Finally, something sensible. General Skywalker, care to join us?"

Anakin shrugged, calm at last. "Sure, I've had my fun for the day."

The three gathered around the projector, Rex handing the chit to Gamma. The bridge clone inserted the chit and found the file reading report. "Alright, here's the data sir."

Yularen leaned in, ready to start pouring over the points, when he was met with a digital breast. "What the devil?!"

Sensual music started playing over the bridge speakers, all activity ceasing as every pair of eyes turned to see a trio of digital poles with a human, twi'lek, and a Hutt engaging in very suggestive dance. Yularen could not tear his eyes from the scene, nor could Rex or Anakin.

In fact, no one moved or spoke until the entire…dance was over with.

The scene blinked away only to be replaced by a giggling face that resembled a human with exaggerated makeup and a too wide grin. Two words then appeared under the face.

'Got ya!'

Yularen finally blinked, head falling into his hands. "Gamma… why didn't you stop it?"

The poor clone looked very sheepish. "I tried, sir. The encryption kept sending my worms into infinite loops."

Yularen sighed before turning to Anakin. "I assume this was your handiwork?"

Anakin shook his head slowly. "No… that face is the mark of the most notorious prankster in the Order. We call him 'The Jester'."

Anakin looked to Rex. "You said Master Windu gave this to you? Personally?"

Rex shook out of his stupor. "Yeah, why?"

Anakin's face lit up in equal parts amazement and disbelief. "By the Force."

His hand went to his commlink. "Ahsoka! Ahsoka, can you hear me?!"

The link blinked for a second before the severely pissed off voice of Ahsoka answered. "What could you possibly want now?!"

Anakin didn't miss a beat. "I know who the Jester is! Get up here now!"

Rex heard a gasp through the comm before it cut out. Anakin had the look of one who'd discovered the meaning of life, so Rex looked to see Yularen slumped against the holoprojector.

Rex sighed. All he could do now was pray that his brothers wouldn't be dealing with this insanity.

He also prayed fervently for a swift end to the war. He wasn't sure he could take another round of this.

A scary thought hit him at that moment.

If Master Windu, the most serious Jedi I've ever met can come up with something like this…

He gulped.

What horrors could General Yoda come up with?

Ah, that was a boatload of fun to write. I find that many of these fics are not very happy or silly, so I invented this day of fun where the Jedi are allowed to let their hair down… so to speak.

They're all still sentient after all, and one does not grow wise without a sense of humor.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoys!