Summary: Jacob is a Junior and Bella is a senior. That is the only real difference I'm making in the timeline up to this point. After the motorcycle incident Bella begins down a destructive path. Can Jacob help her? Can she cope with the decisions that she makes? Will he forgive her?

3 Days after the Motorcycle incident, a Wednesday:

How could I hear his voice more often. It was all I could think about at school. Even though I was now sitting with the old crew during lunch I had yet to really join in the conversation. I sat there playing with my food that I never really ate anymore until I heard Lauren mention a party.

"Can I come?"

"You really want to come to a party Bella? I don't see why you won't have any fun sitting in a corner sulking. You can do that at home," scoffed Lauren.

"Come on Lauren lighten up. Of course you can come Bella. Its at my house. My parents are going to Seattle for the weekend. An anniversary getaway or something," said Mike.

"Thanks," if I couldn't find anything else to do maybe alcohol would help me to forget how badly I wanted to hear his voice. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful and since I didn't have any homework I decided to go over and see Jacob. He had been bugging me to come over this week so that he could see for himself that I was still in one piece after that smack to my head.

As I pulled up to his house I saw him come out of the garage. Curious he was done with the Rabbit and we had finished the bikes last week. I stepped out of the car and went to meet him. It was a nice day out so I was hoping we could go to the beach. Maybe this weekend he would take me cliff diving like he had promised.

"Hey Bella. I didn't know you were going to come by today," said Jacob as he came over and hugged me. "Not that I'm not glad to see you." He chuckled.

"I was thinking we could head down to the beach for a bit."

"Sure thing. Just let me go wash up real quick." he said as he jogged into the house.

I walked in and sat down on the sofa. I was comfortable in this small house. I'm not sure why but I felt mostly at ease here. Maybe it was Jacob's presence or maybe it was because this house held no memories what so ever of.... Him or his family. Either way I knew that I felt more at home here than anywhere else. Even if I did still long to hear his sweet voice in my head while I'm here.

"Okay let's go," Jacob said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house. We walked along the beach chatting about this and that and I told him about the party that I was going to this weekend with my school friends. He seemed to think that it was a great idea for me to get back into the swing of things with people at school so that my senior year wasn't a total loss. He may have a point but it wasn't really why I was going. I knew Jacob would be out of town this weekend on a fishing trip with Billy and my dad.

We wound up on our piece of driftwood on the south side of the beach when Jacob looked at me and said, "You know I still haven't given up on you right?"

"I just don't think I can be what you need me to be Jacob. You know I care about you but I just don't have anything left to give. I truly enjoy spending time with you but my heart isn't really in this right now. I just know you're the only thing that makes me feel alive at all."

"Bella I would never hurt you. I would never leave you like he did. I'll always be here for you no matter what happens in either of our lives," Jacob said frustration showing all over his face.

All I could do was sit there and stare at the ocean as I simply nodded my head once. We sat there for a while in complete silence watching the waves roll in until I had to go so that I could get dinner together for Charlie. On our way back Jacob told me that he would be leaving tomorrow evening for the camping trip so that the guys could get a solid three mornings of fishing in before they had to come back on Sunday after noon.

I got home and threw a casserole in the oven and sat just as Charlie walked in the door.

"I'm going to grab a shower while dinner is in the oven be right back dad."

"Okay kiddo."

The next couple days went by with out consequence. Charlie left Thursday evening and Friday nothing exciting happened at school and I went home to get ready for the party. I really wished that Alice was here to help me find something to wear. I was standing in front of my closet realizing that I had no decent party clothes when the phone rang. I ran down stairs just in time to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, Its Angela. I was wondering if you wanted to come over and get ready for the party with me. I can drive us over to Mike's since I know where it is and then just drop you off on my way home."

"That actually sounds kind of perfect. Do you think I could maybe borrow a top to wear? I've been staring at my closet with no progress for the last 20 min," I laughed into the phone and the sound startled me. I wasn't used to hearing myself laugh anymore.

"Of course. I'm just glad that you're coming so that I don't have to hang out with Jessica and Lauren all night. Ugh. Just come over whenever you want we will head to Mikes around 10."

She gave me directions to her house and I headed over. As soon as I got there and she opened the door I was held at (fake) gun point by her twin brother claiming that I was an enemy of the state and it was their job as FBI agents to hunt me down. Angela shooed them away and we went to her room to pick out our clothes for the night. Angela convinced me to let her pick something and do my hair and make up. By the time that she finished both our hair and make-up I barely recognized myself. It was amazing what this girl could do to hide the dark circles and sunken cheeks that had taken up residence on my face in the last few months. We went back to her room and showed me what she wanted me to wear.

"No way!"

"Come on Bella. We're only young once and you said that I could pick out your outfit. Look I'm going to wear this one its not like you are going to be the only one. Jessica and Lauren and most of our class will be there dressed way more scandalously," Angela pleaded.

After another ten minutes of arguing I finally conceeded to wear the skin tight, black, backless dress that Angela had insisted on. I had to wear this odd backless bra with it too. I could never understand why girls enjoyed dressing like this it was so uncomfortable.

We headed off to the party and chatted about who wouldn't make it home and who would go home with someone else tonight. Turns out that I had missed a lot of gossip while I was in my zombie phase. And even though I didn't really care much for gossip it gave us something to talk about. When we arrived at the house we could hear the music form the front porch and we walked in the front door to a sight I had never imagined possible for a high school party. I mean I had seen the party scenes in movies just like everyone else but I had no idea that they could bull this off in the little town of Forks....The night was about to get interesting.