Gallifrey is not like home, not by a long stretch. The sky is an ugly burnt orange color, not the clear wide blue of her own planet. Outside the Citadel's walls, everything is barren and inhospitable; on the days she goes outside, Leela longs for the expanses of forest she once hunted and lived in, the wild winds of the cool seasons that would whistle through the tree branches with their own subtle songs. Everything in the Panopticon is unnatural and sterile. She compares it to the inner hallways and never-ending rooms of the TARDIS --- and that felt ialive to her, a sleeping beast she could live inside and feel protected by, not like this.
And if it were not for Andred's stern hand and voice of reason, she would have used up her sparse supply of Janus thorns already on the numerous people she was forced to come into contact with on a daily basis. Gallifreyans, especially those of the "learned" Time Lord variety, were in one word dull. Extremely so. They were quiet and stifling and all together a suffocating bunch. Not like her Doctor at all, boisterous and jolly and a touch arrogant to boot. The attraction is mutual: those of the Citadel dislike her, and she hates them all. Even the Chancellery Guard, the supposed protector of Gallifrey, had given her the cold shoulder at first --- that is, until she accompanied a group of them to the outside to investigate a crack in time which had spat out a lone Cyberman onto the planet's surface. The guards wasted a good amount of firepower on it, hiding behind the outcroppings like scared children as it lurched forward unharmed, only to see Leela creep up behind it and impale it through the back and out the chest controls with a gold-coated spear, another holdover from her travels with the Doctor. Since then, the entire Guard treats Leela with an air of begrudging respect, and will even on rare occasions ask her advice on important matters.
(Lying together in their private quarters at night, Andred listens to Leela talk about her day, which usually involves being reckless and getting into trouble with the higher-ups, only to prove herself in the right and further embarrass the noble chapters, especially the Pyrdonians. There is always a smile on his face as he listens, watching Leela become more animated as she speaks.
One night, he tells her, "Maybe you enjoy living on Gallifrey more than you let on?"
Leela gives him a quizzical look. "What do you mean?" she asks, then adds, "I'm not letting on to anything!"
Andred laughs and cut off any possible protests with a kiss. It seems that the one person in the Citadel able to keep Leela's temperament down is Andred, and only him. Well, most of the time.)
Still, there are days when this is not enough. She has even considered teaching her formidable skills to the students in the Academy, thinking they would benefit from learning to protect themselves and not hide shaking in their overgrown robes (no one has had the heart to try to force Leela into suitable clothing). Lately, she falls more and more into a spell of melancholy, catching herself thinking of her fellow Sevateem tribe members back home. Were they having a good hunt, now working together with the technologically advanced Tesh? Even though they had banished her, they understood her. They knew her the best of anyone in the universe, but now she was without such kindred spirits, no one to catch food with or craft weapons or even watch the moon rise into the night sky, their breaths heavy with reverence for the thing. These thoughts chase her through the day, so that even simple tasks such as bathing and lunch time feel burdened by once-forgotten pieces of the past. Her mind keeps wandering to the old days, so she imagines it is because she is not busy enough.
So, when she hears over the intercom an alert by the Castellan that a Type 40 TARDIS known to belong to the renegade Time Lord called the Doctor has materialized in the Panopticon, Leela is the first to get there, Andred following close on her heels with a handful of guards following several paces away. And there it is, the familiar blue box as usual, once again stirring up a panic on Gallifrey just by landing. The guards form a half-circle formation around the front entrance, although at Leela's insistence, they keep a good distance and their guns lowered (but still out, regulations and all that).
Andred would later regret not teaching Leela one of the fundamentals of Time Lord physiology, one that her former teacher had evidently missed --- the basics of regeneration --- as she leapt onto the man who exited the capsule, unaware of the mistake on both of their parts.
hr/hr
She had been taken off-guard for certain by his appearance, mistaking the Doctor for some kind of burglar, perhaps even a killer who had hijacked the TARDIS. So she did not think to even unsheathe her knife, attacking the stranger with her bare fists. Which is why she's sitting on a chair perched next to her own bed, in which the strange man in the multicolored clothing and blond hair -- the Doctor, she reminds herself --- is lying, conscious but sore from being pummeled by his own ex-companion while having to explain who he was (i.e. not someone who had killed the Doctor and stolen his ship, of all the things he's ever been accused of so far). Andred tells her in an aside conversation that he can only put off alerting the higher ups of the Doctor's presence for so long --- an hour, tops --- and there's a look on his face like he's unsure whether to be uncomfortable or happy for his wife. He leaves the two of them alone to convince the other guards to hold off on reporting as well.
The Doctor, for what it is worth, doesn't seem to take the whole assault thing as a serious violation. "At least one thing hasn't changed," he grumbles, rubbing his chin both out of thought and out of pain, "Still got that wicked right hook. Didn't expect to be on the receiving end of it, though."
Leela almost looks guilty for it, but she recognizes a backhanded compliment when she hears it. "Sorry, Doctor." A beat. "How long has it been?"
"Oh, about a hundred or so years, two regenerations. Small things between . . . friends?" He looks over at her with a searching glance, waiting for the answer. Wanting to know if another thing hasn't changed.
A smile, small but there, crosses her lips. "Of course, Doctor. We will always be friends." She remembers her other Doctor, the original model, all teeth and curls and reckless abandon. He's still there, somewhere in all that patchwork and bluster, and it shows in his eyes. They are full of life, just as she remembers. So she can't even stand to hate him, no matter the body. But still, she is curious.
"Are you in trouble?" Leela asks, suddenly concerned. The Doctor's on Gallifrey; a wanted man on the very planet that wants him arrested, and she doesn't know why. "Is the universe in trouble?"
"Hmm?" He actually sits there and seems to ponder the question for a moment before responding. "Oh, no. No threat of mortal peril to life as we know it attached to this trip. Just here on an innocent visit. Nothing wrong with that, is there?" The Doctor's doing that thing like old times, rambling on and acting false cheery to hide something else. Leela can tell, and it would be unlike her to not press him on the matter, so she does.
"There is something wrong, isn't there, Doctor?" He hesitates to answer, so she presses on. "Why won't you tell me anything? If it is meant to be a secret, I shall keep it that way until my death. You know that!"
It takes a moment, but when the Doctor answers, head bowed, his voice sounds as though it comes from far away, a quiet loneliness that seems all too familiar to Leela. "Just the usual. Gallifrey interfering with my life, taking another one of my companions."
She doesn't know who he's lost, but she knows who the other one he's referring to is. "They didn't take me!" Leela says proudly. "Even though I am an honorary Gallifreyan by marriage does not mean I am no longer a Sevateem warrior at heart!"
"Good to hear," he says, distant. His head jerks up suddenly, and he brushes off Leela's worried hand. "But that doesn't mean you don't --- I don't know --- miss them? Your family and friends back in the tribe?"
Leela can't hold up the facade anymore. Her shoulders slump in a very un-warrior fashion. "You are right, Doctor. I miss my people very much. Life in the Citadel is not the same as life with the tribe. Everything is so different and ---" She feels a tear gather at the corner of her eye and feels ashamed. "I am so lost here, Doctor. This is not my home."
She looks up to see the Doctor with an almost cheery look in his eye; she starts to think if that's part of the reason his latest companion left him. He puts a hand on her shoulder as he speaks. "Then come with me in the TARDIS! I can take you home, let you see your home again!" His voice becomes more excited with each word. "I'm sure your family will be very excited to see you --- you can see what's become of the Tesh as well --- and you'll be happy again! Wouldn't that be nice?" A note of desperation creeps into his voice. "Don't you miss it?"
In another time, under different circumstances, Leela would be saying yes and packing her bags for the next great adventure. She would be back in the familiar hold of the TARDIS, at the Doctor's side for a second time. But this is here, and here is where Leela is shaking her head slowly, her heart practically breaking in her chest. When she speaks, her voice is barely there.
"I do miss them so much, and I would want nothing more than to see them one more time." Leela casts her eyes down, suddenly wishing to not look at the Doctor as she answers. "But my life is here now, in the Citadel. With my husband."
For the Doctor, hearing the word husband, and knowing the very man was waiting outside for his wife to return, stings. It also brings back another painful memory, of a marriage that may or may not have happened, and of marriages that have taken away companions from him before. He can't ask Leela any more to leave her Andred than she can ask him to leave his TARDIS behind and live in the Citadel; some things were not meant to be torn asunder like that. So they sit together in silence, feeling the moments pass by, fleeting and painful for what should have been a happy reunion.
It is Leela who breaks the silence; her voice sounds unnaturally loud in the lingering quiet. Outside the chamber door, she can faintly hear the sounds of boots pacing back and forth, and is thankful for the nth time for her husband's astute loyalty. "I am sorry, Doctor."
"What for?" The Doctor manages a weak smile. "You have your duties now, same as everyone else."
"I was referring to your companion." He winces, but Leela doesn't seem to notice. "It is hard to lose someone you love. You don't have to say anything, I can tell. Even a Time Lord can't hide their true emotions from a seasoned hunter," she adds, and gives him a look that quiets any possible protests.
"No, I can't hide anything from you, can I?"
"No, you can't, so there's no use trying." A brave grin spreads across her face, and for the first time in a long time it feels sincere. It softens as she continues. "Will you tell me about this companion of yours?"
The Doctor smiles, and tells her about Peri; he tells her in such a way that Leela feels almost kindred to her, as she would to anyone who had trod the same path through the stars as she had long before. And when he stop, she starts, and tells stories of the home world the Doctor only knew for a few days but she knew for a lifetime, tales of all the people and customs and the little things about that place.
And for one of the few occasions since he regenerated upon the TARDIS floor, the Doctor listens.
hr/hr
Leela won't (can't) even take one peek inside the TARDIS' console room; she won't even consider looking at the new desktop theme. But she does touch the closed door, feels the familiar wood under her fingertips, says hello to the old girl one last time. She hears the sound of boots scuffling about through the halls, no doubt being led by Andred on a wild goose chase for a Doctor that isn't there. Instead, he's right by her side (as it should be), staying unnaturally silent.
"Doctor," and she turns to look into his face, "Thank you for this. And for reminding me of what I had forgotten."
The Doctor quirks an eyebrow innocently. "Hmm? And what would that be?"
Leela smiles. "That I am useful here. There are so many customs from my tribe that they could benefit from. Don't you think so?"
"Oh yes, that would be interesting. And there's always room for someone like you at the Academy --- all those developing minds yearning for someone to teach them how to throw a grown man over their shoulder in less than five seconds. Or something like that, I'm sure."
"Does this persona of yours ever stop talking?"
He blinks. "Of course not." The Doctor walks forward and opens the door of the TARDIS and quickly steps through, leaving Leela confused for a moment over if he was leaving or not. He comes back out minutes later to stand casually in the doorway, holding a wooden box in his hands with her name carved into it.
"I believe this is yours," he says, handing the box to Leela carefully. She takes it into her own grasp, reverently almost, and is too surprised to open it, only to thank the Doctor numerous times until even he starts to blush slightly from all the attention. Even without looking inside, she knows what the box holds: mementos from back home, the few possessions she had been able to carry with her as she stowed away in the TARDIS; not to mention, different things she had picked up during her travels, odds and ends that reminded her of the old ways of the Sevateem.
The sounds of grown men shouting becomes louder, and Andred's is not one of them; they are coming into the heart of the Citadel, sooner than later.
"Doctor---" Leela hesitates. So many things she wants to say dancing on her tongue, and yet she finds herself unable to say a single one.
The Doctor gives the TARDIS an appreciative knock. "Last chance for a ticket to the slow path home. Any takers?"
This is one question she can answer honestly. "No, Doctor, I am sure my place is here now." Leela bows, all the while vowing it will be the last time she prostrates herself to anyone like this. "Good-bye, Doctor. I will miss you."
"You said that last time, too." The Doctor smiles. "Good-bye, Leela. Do try to behave while I'm gone." He turns to enter into the TARDIS' console room once more ---
"Doctor!"
He spins dramatically on his heel to face Leela a last time. "Yes?"
She finally manages to say one of the things that had been bugging her since they reunited. "Your new outfit is horrible!"
The Doctor's face falls. "My outfit offends you? My oufit offends you? You walk around in animal skins --- at least I'm fully dressed!"
A big grin threatens to put a strain on her face, but she doesn't care. "You would never survive in the forests with all those colors. How do you manage to run from someone who can see you a mile away?"
He recovers enough to say, "I have the element of surprise on my side!" before storming off into the TARDIS, the doors banging shut behind him. A few seconds pass, and Leela thinks she has offended him greatly and that this is no way to end a reunion, insulting someone who she might never see again. At that moment, the Chancellery Guard storms the room, staser pistols drawn and ready to arrest the renegade, and somehow, over the shouting and barking of the guards and the groaning chords of the TARDIS dematerializing, she swears she can hear the Doctor laughing rather cheerfully, as if he's been told the greatest joke in the universe.
Andred manages to avoid being chewed out by the Castellan and finds Leela standing in front of where a blue box once stood, smiling, and he knows that everything is back to normal. For now.