A/N -This story does have kinda depressing themes so don't say I didn't warn you. Set during CF at the moment! Hope you enjoy and review if you liked it or want me to continue :)

Do you ever feel like you wanna be someone else for just one day?

Effie's POV

I couldn't let them see me this weak. I couldn't do this anymore. But the Capitol expects me to look perfect all the time and I will. I am fat, ugly and worthless. I will never be like any of those stick thin models if I don't starve myself. I will never reach perfection unless I force myself to throw up.

"Trinket! Get me a another drink!" Called Haymitch from the cabin next to mine. He always expected me to do things for him with no concern whatsoever for my feelings. It was like I only existed to get things for people, to do things for people. Besides, who would want a disgusting fat person like me as a 'friend'? Katniss and Peeta may be polite to me but that's only because they are nice people, not because they care.

"Fine. I will!" I snapped back. I poured him a glass of whiskey and walked into the cabin.

"Oh hi Effie, we're just having dinner!" Smiled Peeta. Just what I wanted I thought to myself.

"I'm not hungry, I just ate. But thank you for the offer!" I lied. Just being near food made me want to throw up, I guess that's what living in the Capitol does to you. I feel guilty as people like Katniss weren't used to luxuries like this and would be happy to get as much food as I did.

"Oh alright." Said Peeta "Your dress is very nice."

"Thank you! It's brand new. I'm glad you noticed!" I faked a smile. It often seemed like people were just pretending to be friendly to me. I don't deserve it and that's for sure.

"Where's Katniss?" Asked Peeta "I need to talk with her."

"I don't know but I guess she's in her cabin." Haymitch answered taking a sip of his drink.

Peeta left the room, leaving me alone with Haymitch.

"He was wrong, about your dress." Haymitch said, laughing. I knew it, I knew I looked fat in it.

"That's nice."

"You know you don't have to wear that Capitol shit all the time." He was so clueless sometimes it was unbelievable.

"You know you don't have to wear the same clothes everyday!" I faked a giggle. I was used to doing that, every reaping I had to pretend to be happy and cheerful when really I thought I deserved death more than any of the innocent kids.

"You're wrong there, Trinkie. Guys clothes all look the same!" Haymitch said.

"Please don't call me 'Trinkie'" I got up and walked out of the room and into the bathroom.

They have no idea, I sighed as I turned on the shower. I grabbed a razor from the shelf and slowly dragged it across my arm. I had been doing this since I was around fifteen and I guess it was kind of an addiction. I couldn't cope with the pain in any other way. But when I cut myself I didn't feel any pain, I deserved it, this was my punishment for being stupid, ignorant and worthless.

Katniss's POV

"Peeta.. what is it you wanted to tell me anyway?" I asked. I knew it was something serious as his face looked concerned and worried.

"Haymitch needs to know too, I guess, unless he already knows." Said Peeta dragging me out of my cabin.

I sat down on one of the many mahogany in the main cabin.

"So what I was gonna say is..." Peeta sighed "I'm worried about Effie.."

"Why would you be worried about Trinket? She's so happy all the time! I'm sure there's better things to be caring about." Haymitch asked.

"You are so insensitive! Any person can have problems! Just because she's from the Capitol does not mean she has the perfect life, for all you know those smiles she puts on could be fake!" Peeta told him. I always assumed Effie was a typical Capitol person who only cared about how she looked and parties but it turns out she was actually a kind and genuine person.

"Get to the point anyway!" Haymitch chuckled. He was obviously very drunk at the moment, if he was sober then maybe he would be taking the situation more seriously, whatever the situation was...

"About Effie... Have you noticed how she never eats. Ever. You know how things are in the Capitol.. They always expect you to have the perfect body, perfect hair, perfect everything. She could be starving herself!"

"Look Peeta, she's probably telling the truth when she says she's not hungry. We can't always just guess things about people like that." Haymitch said calmly. But I couldn't help but agree with Peeta. All the time Effie had been our escort, I hadn't seen her eat once. It's not like I payed much attention but now it's been said... I just don't know.

"He's right. I've never seen her eat either..." I said.

"I am worried about Effie, okay! I don't hate her, in fact I actually like her. I don't want her to end up hurting herself, she never seemed that kind of person!" Haymitch admitted. I knew he didn't hate her really, I mean they did spend a lot of time together. Wait.. Why am I thinking this? Who cares if Effie and Haymitch hate eachother or love eachother? I need to focus on the real problem here.

"Hello Katniss! Hello Peeta! Hello Haymitch!" Effie said in her cheery Capitol accent.

Effie's POV

"Hello Katniss! Hello Peeta! Hello Haymitch!" I faked a grin as I walked in the door. By the looks on their faces it looked like I had just interrupted an important conversation. Of course they had all the 'important conversations' without me. I was useless and dumb and only had stupid things to say.

"Hey Effie! We were wondering if you wanted one of these cupcakes I made!" Peeta said, offering me a pink cupcake with a chocolate covered strawberry on top.

"That looks so beautiful, Peeta! But I'm not hungry right now... I feel ill today." I told him. The three of them exchanged a look as I sat down. Probably thinking why is she so fat if she doesn't eat anything? I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

"That's alright Effie." Peeta replied handing out cupcakes to Katniss and Haymitch.

To be continued...