When The Boys First Met Her, a jane and the dragon fanfic

Disclaimer: I own nothing; JatD belongs to its respectful owner as does the song!

Author's Note: First ever Jane and the Dragon, or as it may be known JatD, and no flames! OOC-ness is obvious; this is my take on what all the males of the castle thought when they each met Jane,

Gunther's 'thoughts' will be in italics,

While Jester's will be in bold,

And Smithy's will be underlined normal.

All three who happen to share a thought will be in in bold underlined italics. Thank you that is all, now without further ado, may the humor begin.

It was an average day in the castle, for all of boy's; except the fateful day when they first met Jane Turnkey. She is the girl that drove them all half mad! The first person to see her, the day her mother deemed her socially acceptable, was Smithy and he thought to himself,

Hey, Ms. Red Carpet,

She can autograph my pockets,

Anytime, anyplace, anyway,

I'll be looking at everybody else,

Watch it,

I don't wanna be obnoxious,

But this girl worth the gossip,

Take away the smile,

The tattoos now,

Forever she very guard less,

The rumors of the flame haired girl spread like wildfire. A Lady-in-Waiting and the Chamberlain! Ode to the improbabilities! But the smith wasted no time in befriending this odd girl. Pepper, Rake's one love since infantry they say, was quite taken with the sociable young girl, and quickly learned her most favored recipes. Pepper learned to cook them in almost as fast of the time she learned them from the girl, which was almost as soon as those words left her mouth! The red head quickly became well known throughout the castle except to the Merchant's son, and the young jester, since none heard new ballads until much later in the day, the girl was always willing to talk, and if you had the everlasting patience to listen, she was truly an amazingly good friend. And since the smith's son learned well, patience is the key concept to making an amazing sword, and many friends. If you were to talk to the girl though, the first thing she says is always; at least to anyone willing to listen to her.

"I'm going to the first Lady Knight one day!"

The young smith smiles at the younger girl and gets along back to working the forges as he calls out a brisk but friendly hello to the girl who responded enthusiastically to his call with an ungodly amount of chatter for one so small looking, and such an amount of unruly hair and frail looking structure.

Soon later on in the day the young girl met a raven haired boy by the name of Gunther, or as he introduced himself to her, Sir Gunther Breech, soon to be Knight of Kippernium, and for now, just Sir Gunther Breech. What really went through that boy's mind was astonishing, even though he had, had to hang out with the sailors while on the travels and duties of unloading the various ships with his father. These thoughts even freaked him out.

I imagine her topless,

She might set off my rocket,

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,

On and poppin',

She met Mark and then,

Attitude like we arguing,

This girl made him feel weird, he felt attracted to her but as young as he was he thought it must be a competitive thing and continued on with it as they argued over who was going to the better Knight in the future. And Gunther had to admit, he was having a good time! His Father, though the moments kill joy, yells at him from across the courtyard to hurry up before he gets in deep trouble, and to make himself useful by finding the blasted Chamberlain. Which of course his rival did, making him feel all the more stupid. Since the Chamberlain was in the halls to the left of him. He decided to admit to being at a loss of words to the young girl with a head of fire and then left her to her own devices since he had his father to attend to. The girl left him with an angry snarl on her face.

The Jester fond her in a fouler than foul mood and decided to check his 'cheering up skills' as he put it so fondly, he spoke to her in a light tone of voice.

"Who are you young Miss? An to why are you in such a sour mood on such a beautiful day?"

The girl looked up in a strange way and eyes widened at the sight of his blue jingling hat.

"Wow! Such a clever little hat! It jingles whenever you move! I assume that you often get caught whilst trying to be sneaky and move quietly around the castle no?"

"Such a clever young Miss you are! Yes I am often caught in the process of slinking around the castle. An what might your name be young Miss?"

"Oh! Where are my manners! I am Jane, Jane Turnkey, and I am going to be the first ever Lady Knight some day!"

"And I am Jester, no last name, just Jester. Now since you are out of that funk, may I ask; who or why were you in such a funk?"

"Well, Jester," she tried using the name he had given her for the first time ever, "I met Sir Gunther Breech, soon to be knight of Kippernium… and then we argued about who will be the better knight whilst after much dispute his Father yells at him to find my Father Chamberlain, if you have ever heard of him, and he doesn't even notice my Father over by us in the left hall of the courtyard! I bring my Father over to him and Gunther just stares at me! No 'Thank you Miss Jane, nothing! The nerve of that maggot, oh I must be bothering you with my troubles Jester, I am sorry. I have a tendency to talk to someone till my throat is hoarse if they give me the chance. You know Jester you are a very good friend to me! You, I think, are my best friend here at the Castle!"

"I am proud to be the friend of the future Lady Knight of Kippernium!" Jester said with a deep bow in what honesty could be mustered of that from the young jester. He then thought to himself.

With this girl by my side, I bring glitter to my life

I should twitter that this girl, she's sparkling!

At that moment in different parts of Castle Kippernia, those three boys shared the same exact thoughts.

She ain't no Rock star

But she's got Groupies,

She ain't no Actress

But she makes Movies,

And when she struts that thing around

Everybody be breaking their neck like

Who dat girl

She ain't got Riches

But she's got Fashion,

She ain't a Model

But camera's Flashing

And when she struts that thing around

Everybody be breaking their neck like

Who dat girl

The trio of boys finally realized that this might just be something more than friendship or a new competitive urge, but rapidly dismissed the thought almost as quickly as it came. And tried to get on with their lives while Gunther had more thoughts that swayed in every direction but that of what he wanted them to, ode to the bogs with those sailors, each and every one!

Hey, they wanna know her mamma's name,

Cause that where she get from,

They ain't ever shot her with silicon,

Shawty is her and her she's the real one

Touch one, grab one, feel one,

Gunther then tried tracking down to the fire head girl but failed miserably trying and gave up, and decided to leave it at this, that girl did something very odd to his sense of thinking… after all he wouldn't be thinking like this if it weren't for her. And thus left it at that and the odd things bouncing throughout his thick head.

The jester however continued to spend the day with the girl but spent one minute away from her to use the privy only to hear form Rake, the gardener of the castle, that she was called to lunch and had asked Rake to tell him for her. The old version of him, the one that always wanted to make people laugh, since his parents dropped him off the Castle all those years ago, there is nothing wrong with that, right? He looks for the patch of unruly red hair that is Jane. Thinking to himself as he walks to the kitchen area reserved for the children and staff of Castle Kippernia.

I wish she would a told me that

Ain't nothing wrong bringing the old me back,

Smithy turns a hearing Pepper ring the dinner bell for lunch, setting down his forging equipment he takes just one really long hard look at himself, whilst thinking,

Little mamma knows my body so trophy glass!

Okay the jester had finally found her and he thinks to himself,

She worth it,

The smithy walks past Jane and smiles at her fondness for carrying large items. That such a small frame would normally forbid, but she has never really been normal has she?

Bring me some Chloe bags

Like damn, can I be yo police badge

He laughs tiredly at the thought while seating himself at the table in front of Jester whom had noticeably left an open space by him while Gunther seated himself to my right since I am sitting on the far left if the lunch table.

Jane walks through the double doors with Rake and Pepper carrying food for us all. Pepper looks up with surprise and says

"An what grace has brought Sir Gunther to our simple dining table today?"

"Well no real reason except for it was too stuffy in the Castle to dine comfortably." Gunther stumbles over his words.

Jane sets the food down with Rake and Pepper's help sorting out the people's food and to whom it goes to. Smithy gets a large meaty sandwich since he is working the forges all day. Jester gets a smaller sandwich with a little meat and vegetables unlike Smithy. Rake and Pepper eat the same thing, a small salad. Gunther's meal is that of a wandering traveler, small bowl of soup, half a sandwich and a slice of fresh bread. Jane however is given a larger bowl of soup and a thicker slice of bread which is next to a bowl full of fresh pear pudding an a very useful spoon. Jane's favorite dish, pear pudding, they all discovered later on.

Pull it up, get a little cozy and

Woman is sort a like and oldie jam,

As the day settled on Gunther left the Castle for once in his life almost reluctantly and settled on the excuse that he had worn himself out looking for the girl with fire for hair. And thus, promptly, he fell asleep in the back of the wagon his father owned.

Record some ssh,

On a playboy cam,

Jester noticed the girls yawn as she tried to cover it up but he realized that in this state,

She ain't no actress

She is truly tired and with such thought he made sure to stick by her at all times in case she fell from lack of sleep and of pure lack of energy.

The movie found my mattress

Gunther's mind continued to play the memories concerned the flame colored haired girl that he thought so desperately about and decided to just give in to the aggressive sleep and relax in the mattress of straw in his Father's wagon that he will unload and move in to the Castle's male only quarters.

Him as well as the other two thought quickly,

Rock star, none of that practice

But she's got fanatics

She ain't no Rock star

But she's got Groupies,

She ain't no Actress

But she makes Movies,

And when she struts that thing around

Everybody be breaking their neck like

Who dat girl

She ain't got Riches

But she's got Fashion,

She ain't a Model

But camera's flashing

And when she struts that thing around

Everybody be breaking their neck like

Who dat girl

Ooh ohh, ohh

At the end of the day all three boys found themselves strangely attached to the girl which they all called Jane. When all three of them finally stopped traveling, or doing something and found the time to get some rest, one mutual thought crossed each of their minds.

Look at her

Goo, ooo, ooo

I wanna know ooh, ooh

Who dat girl

Who dat girl!

In the girl Jane's last first day moments she looks at the ceiling and thinks about everything and comes to two conclusions. One, Gunther is no better than a dead maggot. Two, the other people there here are all very nice, and kind, and sweet in their own ways.

Author's Note:

Okay well not much to say except, what did you think, should I make a sequel, please let me know, and Review please! Tah-dah!