A/N i just loved the first story, Mom, Dad, I'm Dating Ironhide, so i decided to do this! i tried to make it funny, and cute at the same time. i'd love it if you'd tell me what i did wrong, or right, because i just love reviews!
i don't own transformers, but trust me, if i ever buy it, you'll know because it will be fraught with yaoi!
"Speech,"
•"Com-link"•
male/male love, don't like it, don't read. if you want go ahead and flame me, but i'll only take it as a compliment that you cared enough to review!
It was late at night as Sam lay on Ironhide's hood while they listened to music in their room at N.E.S.T. He was trying to teach his autobot lover about what music was good, and what sucked. Occasionally, when he heard a song he particularly liked, Ironhide would rev his engine.
"Oh, man, 'Hide, you could be a masseuse," Sam said appreciatively. Ironhide chuckled, his altmode shuddering with the noise. Then Sam sat up fast. "'Hide," he started.
"What's wrong, Sam?" The bot asked. Sam rubbed at his stomach, grimacing in pain.
"It's my stomach, it burns," Sam said. He looked down at his stomach and gasped. "I'm glowing 'Hide!" He shouted.
Ironhide was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Get down, Sam, I need to transform." Sam slid off the GMC's hood, standing back. As Ironhide transformed, he clutched his stomach in pain. Once he was finished transforming, Ironhide knelt down to look at Sam. "Move your arm, Sam," he said softly. Reluctantly, the human released his abdomen, moaning in pain. Without warning, he was scooped up in a servo.
"Hey! What the hell, 'Hide?!" he protested. The autobot ignored the protest, and hurried out of their room, heading to the med-bay.
"Ratchet!" he called. The green medic came out of the med-bay, a wrench in servo, ready to beat whoever disturbed him. When he saw Ironhide holding a distressed Sam, he lowered his tool.
"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.
"I think the spark is almost done developing," Ironhide said. Sam looked at his partner.
"What? Nobody told me I'd start glowing when he was done developing!" he yelled.
"Samuel, be quiet, and calm down! The sparkling does not need the stress," Ratchet scolded. Sam clutched his stomach even tighter and started to pant.
"Ratchet, are you about to puke up a spark? No, so shut up!" Sam snapped.
Ironhide held Sam as close to his chassis as he could without crushing the boy, saying, "Should we call the others, or just go?" Ratchet thought for a moment, the shook his helm.
"Too many people equals too much stress, let's just go," he said, transforming. His holoform appeared, a man in a doctor's coat. Ironhide put Sam down and followed suit, opening his doors and putting his holoform behind the wheel. Sam crawled in, groaning in pain.
"Ironhide," he moaned, putting his head on the holoform's shoulder. He didn't take the time to gaze in wonder at the attractive man as he usually did. Right now, he was in too much pain to care about the man's tan skin, or dark hair and built body. He couldn't even bring himself to care about the electric blue eyes that he loved so much. Ironhide stroked Sam's hair comfortingly.
"It's going to be okay, Samuel," he said as they took off driving. Ironhide drove at the speed limit at first, but when Sam started to drive heave, he gunned it, earning an angry com from Ratchet. •Slow down, Ironhide, we don't need to get pulled over!• Ironhide ignored him, so Ratchet had no choice but to speed up with him.
"'Hide," Sam moaned. "I am never, ever having sex with your real form again!" He continued. Ironhide looked at him, worried.
"You're not going to ask me to hold your hand, are you? I've heard that people have broken their hands from holding a woman's hand while she gives birth," he said. Sam growled.
"That's the least you could do, seeing as you're the reason I have to puke up something the size of a soccer ball! And that's another thing! Why can't the damn thing just come out the way it went in? At least then, you could stretch me out so it wouldn't hurt as much! But no! It has to crawl up my damn esophagus, almost choke me to death, and then somehow force its way out of my mouth, which could break my jaw!" Sam ranted.
"At least then you'd stop yelling at me," Ironhide muttered.
"What was that?" Sam asked. "What, does my talking bother you? Tough shit, asshole, you're the one who knocked me up in the first place!" Ironhide sighed.
"Please, Sam, calm down. If you don't, it will stress the sparkling, and it won't want to come out. Then, by the time it does want out, it'll be too big, and we'll have to give you a C-section," he said. Sam closed his mouth immediately. "Oh, thank god," Ironhide said. "We're here." Sam looked out the window.
"A car dealership?" he asked. "Why are we here?" They got out as Ironhide explained, saying it would help the sparkling choose a form he wanted. As soon as they got out, Ironhide transformed again, but left his holoform to hold Sam comfortingly. Ratchet was close behind them and followed suit, his holoform looking around. The fact that it was night didn't bother him, as he had night-vision.
"Ironhide, you conceited slagger, you just want the sparkling to be a GMC vehicle," he said. Ironhide shuffled his feet.
"Are all the cars here GMC? I hadn't noticed," he said, blushing. Ratchet scowled, walking to Sam.
"Alright, Sam, now get on your hands and knees," he said. Sam scoffed.
"Oh, no you don't, that's what got me into this mess in the first place," he protested weakly. Ratchet sighed.
"It's so the sparking can come up easier. And we don't want it hitting the ground from too far up, it could be damaged," he explained.
"Oh," Sam said, embarrassed. He did as ratchet asked, his back arching as he dry heaved. Ironhide fell to his knees next to his partner, placing a soothing hand on his back.
"It'll be okay, Sam, it'll be okay," he said. Sam probably would have come back at him with a smart-ass remark if he didn't start to heave again. This time, something blue and slimy came up, which disgusted him and made him gag even more. Once Sam was finished puking up all the blue slime, Ratchet put his hands underneath Sam's mouth, waiting for the sparkling to come out. Sam's gagging got even worse, and he looked scared.
"I know you can't breathe Sam, but the sooner you spit it up, the sooner you can take a breath," Ratchet said. Ironhide gave him a dirty look for being so blunt, but didn't say anything. He rubbed Sam's back, wishing he could do more. Sam heaved and gagged and choked, and finally, something glossy started to show. His throat worked furiously as he worked to puke it all the way up, and finally, out it came, with a comic pop into Ratchet's hands. As soon as it did, Sam drew in a shuddering gasp, grateful to have the air again. He and Ironhide gazed in awe at the glowing blue spark that vibrated feebly in Ratchet's hands. It was about the size of a softball, and it struggled to float the way a fawn struggled to walk.
"I'd be pissed at him if the damn thing wasn't so cute," Sam said quietly. Ironhide chuckled, nodding his head. Finally, with a small eep, the spark rose into the air. At first, it stayed in place, rotating. Then it started to float around the cars, as if checking them out. They followed as it rejected car after car and truck after truck. When it had said no to every vehicle, at the dealership, they all sighed.
"He's a picky little bastard, isn't he?" Sam asked. Then the spark started to float away. "Hey, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!" Sam called out. They tried to follow it, but it was too fast, and soon, it was gone. "Ironhide, come on, we have to follow him," Sam said worriedly. Ironhide shook his head.
"He'll be back, I guess we just have to wait," he said. They waited for thirty minutes, Sam lamenting the loss of the spark by putting a dent in all the hoods of the trucks that looked like Ironhide's altmode. Then, he stopped, cocking his head to the side, trying to hear the whirring noise better.
"Do you guys hear that?" he asked. Ratchet and Ironhide nodded. They all looked to the direction the sound came from, and after a moment, a little kid pink Jeep rolled up. Sam almost fell over in shock, and Ironhide chuckled.
"I guess he went to Wal-mart," he said.
"Is that him?" Sam asked. In response, the little pink jeep transformed into a little pink bot that barely reached Sam's waist. He had a more human-like face than any of the other autobots had, and he held his arms out to Sam. [A/N want to see what the little guy looks like? go to my deviant art page, it should be at bumblebee fanatic .deviant art .com just take out all the spaces.]
"Daddy," he peeped. Sam's eyes widened. "Daddy," the little bot insisted, shaking his servo's. Sam hesitantly reached down a picked up his little bot, pleasantly surprised that he was very light. The pink bot nuzzled Sam's neck, his little engine revving the same way Ironhide's did when he was pleased. Sam held the bot close to him, a tear running down his cheek as he stroked the back of his son's helm. Ironhide cleared his throat and both Sam and the pink bot looked at him, startled. Then, the little pink bot held an arm out towards Ironhide, murmuring, "Papa." Ironhide smiled widely, and joined his boyfriend and son in a hug. Ratchet, not wanting to intrude, let his holoform melt away and quietly transformed, driving back to base to inform the others.
"Ironhide," Sam said quietly.
"Yes, Samuel?" Ironhide said. Sam shifted nervously, and the little bot tightened his grip, thinking that he was going to be put down. When Ironhide pulled away, he looked at Sam.
"You know what this means, right?" Sam asked. Ironhide nodded.
"Yes, I know. I'm not allowed to pull my cannons out unless it's for a good reason so as not to set a bad example for the young one," he said sadly. Sam shook his head.
"Well, that's true, but it's not what I was going to say. I was trying to say that this means we have to go see my parents," he said, shifting the bot to his hip. Ironhide's holoform melted away out of dread, and Sam could hear the bot transforming into his altmode from across the dealership. He sighed. "Come one, little guy, let's go get him," he said the pink bot. Ironhide met them half-way, opening the passenger door.
"Do we have to tell them?" he asked. "I mean, after all, they will be asleep right now." Ironhide had grown wary of the Witwicky's because during the past week, Ronald had been giving him he didn't need on how to deal with women, automatically assuming that since Sam was carrying the spark he had miraculously grown a vagina, and Judy had taken to carrying a metal bat like a cane. She would smile at him and wave the bat in greeting. Sam chuckled.
"Trust me, they're not asleep," he said as Ironhide reluctantly started to drive. They soon reached the Witwicky RV beast. The lights inside were still on, proving Sam right. Before getting out, he said, "We should probably name him." The little bot in question looked at Sam, beeping like Bumblebee did instead of talking. Ironhide rumbled in thought.
"How about Ironwit?" he finally asked. Sam cocked his head, so Ironhide explained. "It incorporates both of our names, Iron from mine and Wit from yours, get it?" Sam nodded and looked at the pink bot.
"Do you like that, huh? Want us to call you Ironwit?" he asked. The bot nodded his helm enthusiastically, so Sam smiled. "Alright, then, Ironwit it is. I like it; it makes him sound super smart." Ironwit beeped happily. "Alright, guys, let's go see my parents," Sam said. Ironhide's altmode shuddered as he groaned unhappily.
Sam and Ironwit got out of the truck, Ironhide's holoform materializing next to them. They went to the RV door, and Sam let Ironwit knock. After a moment, the door opened, and Judy stood there, staring in amazement at the three. "Ron!" she called. "Come here and see this!" Ironwit beeped and held an arm out to Judy, smiling.
"Grandma," he said. Judy put a hand over her heart and started to cry.
"That's right, cutie, I'm your Grandma," she said. By the time Sam's father reached the door, mumbling something about damn visitors in the middle of the night, Judy was already holding her grandson on her hip. Ironhide and Sam came in and sat down on the couch while Judy fawned over the little pink bot.
Sam smiled, saying, "Mom, Dad, meet your grandson."
"Wow, Judy," Ron said. "You're a grandma." She glared at him.
"Shut up and come meet your grandson," she snapped. She and her husband played with Ironwit, laughing in delight at all his cute little beeps and whirrs.
"Why is he pink?" Ron asked eventually. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Because he wanted to be, Dad, why else?" he asked. Ron looked at Ironwit and then at his son.
"What, did he look at you and say, 'paint me pink, dad'?" he asked. Sam sighed.
"Dad, can we please not do this now? He chose this form, and that's all that matters. So what if it's pink," Sam argued tiredly.
"Well, you don't have to have attitude about it, I was just wondering," Ron said. When Sam stood up, Judy gave them both dirty looks.
"Can you guys not do this now?" she asked. "Or at least go outside so I can play with my grandson in peace?"
"Maybe we should go outside," Sam challenged. Ironhide stood to.
"Now, Samuel, there's no need for conflict," he said.
"Shut up, 'Hide," Sam said. He stared his dad down. "Come on, Dad, let's go," he said. Ron rolled his eyes and opened the door.
"After you, Mommy," he said. Sam scowled.
Once outside he said, "Dad, what the hell? You've been so good about this, and then you choose now to start complaining? So what he's pink, why the fuck does it matter?" His father pointed at him.
"Don't you talk to me like that, young man. I asked a simple question, there's no need to get bitchy with me," he snapped. Sam huffed.
"And that's another thing. I'm not a woman, Dad, stop treating me like one. I have all the parts you have, and now that I think about it, more. After all, you're the one who got 'fixed', not me," he countered, earning a glare from his father. Ron took a step towards him, poking him in the shoulder.
"Are you trying to say I'm less of a man then you are? That's rich, coming from the kid who just gave birth," he growled.
"Don't touch me, asshole," Sam retorted. His father poked him again, smiling. Sam huffed and looked down. Then, looking up again, he punched his father in the face. This shocked Ron, and for a moment, all he could do was stare at Sam. Then they started beating the crap out of each other, shouting profanities. They rolled around on the ground for about fifteen minutes, until finally, neither of them could take it anymore. Sam threw himself into his father's arms. "Why can't you just accept me and 'Hide, Dad?" he wailed.
"I'm sorry, son! I do accept you, but this is just so sudden. Last week you told us you're dating one of the autobots, now I'm a grandpa!" he dad answered, hugging Sam tightly. "He really is cute, pink suits him," he said.
"Thanks dad, that means a lot!" Sam sobbed. They both began to cry, holding each other.
In the RV, Judy rolled her eyes. "They're hopeless, aren't they Ironhide?" she asked. Ironhide nodded, smiling when Ironwit beeped.
"Hopeless," the little bot quipped. Judy laughed.
Outside, after crying themselves out, Sam and Ron got up and dusted themselves off, heading back into the RV. Nobody said anything, but Judy glared at her husband, and Ironhide shook his head at Sam. When Sam sat down on the couch, Ironwit climbed into his lap, nuzzling his neck.
"Daddy," the little pink bot purred. Everyone smiled.
"You know, you still haven't told us his name," Ron said. Ironhide grinned.
"It's Ironwit," he answered.
"And seeing as 'Hide doesn't have a last name that can be easily translated to English, his last name is Witwicky," Sam added. Judy smiled.
"Ironwit, that's so cute," she said.
Everyone laughed when the pink little bot beeped, "Cute!"