~Three Words Before Three AM

Kakashi could feel the breath escape his lips, watching the smoke rise between his first love's fingers, eyes stuck to the other man before him. "Obito." He said, looking at him worriedly, "You're burning."

"Well, would you look at that." Obito said, a bubbling bitter laugh escaping his lips. He faded from Kakashi's view, and Kakashi felt his heart leap from his chest. Where did Obito go?

~Three Words Before Three AM ~

Deidara called out his three students names, watching the class turn to look at him in awe, "Kurama Satomi, Umeda Hiroshi, and Sarutobi Kazuo." He nodded towards the door, turning and walked out of the academy building, hearing the shuffle of shoes behind him. Once outside, he turned and led them to a bench, watching them. "Welcome. We have to introduce ourselves so none of you can sneak away from me, hm. I'm Deidara Uchiha. I like… clay, fire, and tea. Go on." He waved to the students.

The blonde girl stood up bowing lowly, "I-I am Satomi Kurama. I enjoy uhm! Peaches, and reading. "

Deidara was silent for a moment before laughing quietly, shaking his head, "Next."

"Kazuo Sarutobi. I enjoy… rain storms? And the moon." The black haired child said, their black and red clothing nicely cleaned and pressed.

A simply dressed boy grinned, bowing like Satomi had, "I'm Hiroshi Umeda! I love sweet cakes and running! They're my favorite things!" He said excitedly.

Deidara sighed, annoyed by the students already, "Tomorrow. Don't eat breakfast, it's part of your first test. Be there at 8 AM sharp."

All three stood and bowed, "yes Sensei!"

~Three Words Before Three AM

"Lord Hokage." Kakashi turned to see an exhausted Obito standing before him, pale and worn out in appearance.

Kakashi cocked his head, "Obito, are you okay?" He stood to help Obito into a chair, watching the man sigh.

"Don't tell Deidara. I can't bear to ruin this for him. He's just stopped fearing that our lives are in danger. We figured it out. The rogue you wanted us to find? Wild Goose chase. He's just a pawn. There's about 9 different rogues as far as we know so far who want both Deidara and I executed, and you removed from your place." Obito said, rubbing his face tiredly, "How are we supposed to tell Deidara?"

Kakashi paused for a moment, before breathing out a sigh, "We can't. If he feels that his life is threatened he may begin to try to fight anyone he feels is a threat again. Then the rogues may have a reason to have you both executed."

Obito looked up to Kakashi, studying him, "What about your job?"

Kakashi sighed softly, "You both are very close to me, and I'd rather have you both live than my job be lost."

Obito looked at him fondly, and sighed, "Kakashi…" He murmured, eyes soft as he stared at the other.

Kakashi coughed, looking away, a faint blush showing. "of course, ahem. You should head home, rest. I'll send out a team in a few days. You should help me pick them." He said quickly.

Obito nodded, "okay." He stood up, and left the office.

~Three Words Before Three AM ~

Deidara walked in the house, seeing his lover in the kitchen and let out a happy yell, running and jumping into his arms kissing him,"Obito~" he said softly, cupping his face.

Obito let out a soft laugh, holding him gently, setting him on the counter,"How are you, my lovely husband?"

Deidara hummed,"I got my fourth set of students today."

Obito laughed,"You think they're good enough for you?" He kissed Deidara's neck,"My students bothered you yet about where I was?"

Deidara laughed,"Almost every day. They don't enjoy training with me even when I follow your instructions."

Obito snickered,"That's because you're a hard ass."

Deidara glared pouting,"You're a bully."

Obito kissed his forehead,"If you say so. I'm exhausted. Let's go to bed, Dei."

Deidara hopped off the counter, and the two headed to their bedroom.

~Three Words Before Three Am~

Deidara was sitting by a tree, napping until his students arrived.

"Deidara-sensei!" he heard, and snapped his eyes open, glaring at the girl standing before him.

"What." He growled, "There's still a half hour, so shut up."

She nodded, and sat down next to him, staying quiet as he closed his eyes, returning to his nap. Only a few minutes later, all three students were present, and Deidara decided getting started would make his life easier. Most students proved themselves ineffective within the first 3 hours, and it'd go by fast.

"The name of the game." He grinned as he stood, "You get past me to get your food. There's only 2 lunch boxes."

"But sensei!" Whined Satomi and Hiroshi, Kazuo shrugged, seeming uncaring.

Deidara stared at Kazuo, "You're a weirdo, hm…" He squinted at him.

Kazuo shrugged, "Whatever you say sensei."

Deidara glared, "You little-" He grumbled, "Get the food, or starve."

He turned away and spoke, "Your time starts now."

~Three Words Before Three AM ~

Deidara stormed into Kakashi's office, "those little shits. Did you tell them how to beat my clay?!"

Kakashi looked curious, "they did? I'm not surprised. All three are very intelligent."

Deidara sneered, coming up to him and leaning close to his face, inches from Kakashi's face. "If I find out you did tell them, I will hate you for ruining my students." He squinted at him.

"Deidara. I didn't, don't worry." Kakashi eye smiled.

Deidara huffed, storming out.

~Three Words Before Three AM~

"Here you go love." Obito spoke, gently handing Deidara bowl of soup. Deidara smiled, watching Obito.

They both were silent for a while, eating quietly. Deidara set down his bowl and looked to Obito, "I've noticed how you've been acting around Kakashi. Do you like him?" He asked softly.

Obito raised an eyebrow, "i could say and ask the same thing of you." He also set his bowl down, "But yes. I do. I like him alot."

Deidara cocked his head, "Would you want to try to explain that to him…? I'd be open to a relationship with him." He said.

Obito smiled, his eyes crinkling looking content, "I would love that." He reached over, touching Deidara's hand. Deidara smiled and leaned over, kissing him gently.

"I'll start getting it into his head tomorrow. You should do the same." Deidara said softly.

~Three Words Before Three AM~

Deidara wandered in Kakashi's office around 10 AM, having already worn the kids out completely within two hours, "Lord Hokage~" He nearly purred.

Kakashi looked up, looking exhausted, "Yes, deidara?"

Deidara came over, pulling a chair right next to him, and sat down extremely close to him, "What are you up to?"

Kakashi turned and gave him a blank look, "I'm doing paperwork. As always."

Deidara watched for a moment before setting a hand on Kakashi's arm, gently rubbing his bicep, "You want a distraction? Trust me, I'm amazing at them."

Kakashi's breath hitched, ears growing a tiny bit pink, "N-no, I think i'm okay."

Deidara leaned close, his breath warm against Kakashi's neck, "You seem stressed. You want me to destress you?"

"You're more of causing me distress. I'm not going to ruin your marriage, Deidara!" Kakashi said, the visible parts of his face red, scooting away from Deidara.

Deidara giggled, "oh yes. You're totally ruining my marriage handsome." He said, amused.

Kakashi glared, "I have important things to do, Deidara. I don't have time for this…"

Deidara grinned, walking away, "Don't worry, Kakashi, if you are picturing me on my knees… I know a lot of people have."

"G-Get out!" He yelled. Deidara ran out, giggling like a maniac.

~Three Words Before Three AM~

Obito came in Kakashi's office, carrying both their lunches, "Hey Kakashi. How was your day so far?"

Kakashi looked up miserably, "horrible."

Obito came over, gently setting the lunch in front of him, sitting down next to him, setting a hand on his knee gently, "You wanna talk about it?"

Kakashi let out a heavy sigh, realizing both of them were hitting on him. Why though? Why were these two trying to ruin their marriage and their friendships? He squinted at Obito, "no. I think I just want to eat lunch."

Obito gently rubbed his knee before letting go briskly, knowing how to be less forward than Deidara, "Alright." He smiled, "I got your favorite, miso soup."

Kakashi's eyes lit up, and he took the bowl, eating happily, "Thank you Obito, you are literally the best."

Obito smiled sweetly, "of course."

~Three Words Before Three AM~

Obito walked in the house, Deidara on the couch in just a pair of boxers. "How'd it go, Dei?" He worked on taking off his shoes.

"I tried. But apparently, he's not so keen on blowjobs."

Obito dropped his shoe, staring at him.

"What?"

"Deidara! What the fuck…?!" Obito said, exasperated.

"What?! I was just going to have a little fun with him!" Deidara sat up, offended.

"That. Was not how you go about it." Obito said sighing as he came and sat on Deidara's lap, cupping his face, "If you keep that up, he will push us both away. It's not worth it."

Deidara leaned up, kissing obito heatedly, "Or I'll get him to love us faster than your bullshit where you pretend to not be incredibly interested in him." He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Deidara, that's not going to work."

"Obito, how did I seduce you?" Deidara glared.

"You didn't, I had to come and convince you to be with me. It was a lot of fucking work." Obito grinned. Deidara huffed, crossing his arms.

"Get off of me, you fucker." Deidara muttered pouting.

Obito started laughing, kissing his forehead, "Aww… don't act so angry."

"You're a piece of shit." Deidara growled, "Don't tell me how to be."

Obito kissed his cheek, "oh yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to threaten your autonomy."

Deidara glared harshly, "you can lean down, and suck your own dick, asshole. Just because i'm your husband doesn't mean I won't fucking beat you up."

"Awwwwww, you're so cute when you think you're all tough." Obito nuzzled his face, and Deidara glared, turning and biting Obito's cheek hard. "Ow! Deidara, what the hell?!"

Deidara grinned evilly, "just making sure you know I bite."

"Deidara please…" Obito said exasperated.

~Three Words Before Three AM~

A few hours later, while Obito was cooking dinner, and Deidara was taking a quick nap, there was a knock on the door. Obito left the kitchen, opening the door to see Kakashi standing there. Kakashi seemed to be distressed, and Obito immediately began to worry.

"Can I come in?" Kakashi asked.

Obito moved out of the way, shutting the door as soon as he was in the house. "What's wrong?"

"I just need to speak to both you and Deidara. You both might want to sit down." He said quietly.

Obito nodded, leading Kakashi into the living room and having him sit down. A minute later, Obito returned with a sleepy Deidara, wrapped in a big blanket, still only clothed in his boxers. He blinked at kakashi and mumbled something about being ready at anytime for a "go".

Kakashi wasn't sure how to interpret that.

Obito sat down next to Kakashi, Deidara on the other side of him. Kakashi sighed, "okay. You two obviously need to talk something out, because I've noticed it from both of you."

Both immediately looked curious, and Kakashi continued, "Both of you have been flirting with me. I really don't want our friendships, and your marriage to be destroyed because of mutual attraction."

Deidara grinned, "So you do like me."

Kakashi turned red, "That's not the point!"

Obito sighed, "The point is, Kakashi… that you should know by now that both Deidara, and I are polyamorous. And We like you…. So much so that we'd love to have you be our partner."

Kakashi stared, "W-wait. Seriously? Guys, that's a huge thing. That's… really… I don't know how to respond to that."

Deidara lazily smirked, "i mean, you could say yes."

Kakashi sighed, "I don't think I could at the moment. It's too soon, I don't know you well enough, Deidara. I don't know how we could make this work."

Obito grinned, "but that's a yes to me-"

"No, Obito." Kakashi sighed, "I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before. Hell, I've not been in many regular relationships either."

"I'd be surprised if you've ever been in a relationship, period." Obito smirked.

Kakashi turned and glared, "Obito. Please. I am talking."

Obito pouted.

Kakashi sighed, continuing, ONCE AGAIN, "How would we go about sleeping arrangements and such?"

Deidara winked, "I'm pretty flexible. I could go anywhere." He laughed, "but yeah, you could sleep here." He suddenly gasped, "I have an idea. Kakashi."

"Yes?" He said, still looking exasperated.

"What if we had you stay for the week. And it can be a test run on what it would be like being around us. And if you decide you don't want this at the end of the week, you can leave and we'll never bring it up again. But if you end up loving it… maybe there's a chance." He said sweetly.

Kakashi paused, "...Okay."

Obito coughed, "what? Are you serious? Deidara's plans actually being logical?!"

Deidara stared at Obito, "You can fucking sleep outside, asshole." He turned back to Kakashi, "you wanna go get a change of clothes, and i'll go finish my nap while Obito cooks our dinner?"

"Hey Deidara why don't you stay awake and help me?" Obito asked.

Deidara stared at Obito," No."

Kakashi nodded, "okay. I'll see you two in a half hour or so." He stood, leaving.

~Three Words Before Three AM~

"Deidara, i swear to fucking god if you touch that pan I will literally burn every single blanket you own-"Kakashi heard as he came in the wide open front door. He walked in the kitchen, seeing Deidara holding a huge bottle of salt over whatever Obito was cooking.

"It's bland!"

"You're bland, Deidara!" Obito glared,"you literally burn things because you like the taste of charcoal!" He said, grabbing Deidara and lifting him over his head. Deidara let go of the salt, letting it drop to the ground, wrapping his legs around Obito, kissing him hard.

"Don't be a fucking dick, Obito." He muttered against his neck. Deidara seemed to have found a tank top and a pair of short shorts since Kakashi had left.

"Hi you two." Kakashi said awkwardly. Deidara continued to cling to Obito, legs tight around his waist and he smirked, "Hey Kakashi. I was trying to save our food, but Obito-"

"Deidara, none of us need that much salt unless we want to all die." Obito said exasperated.

Kakashi nodded, setting his bag down, "I'm going to have to agree with Obito on that, Deidara."

Deidara slumped, purposely falling onto the ground between Obito's legs, just gazing at Kakashi with a fake hurt expression, "you've wounded me most fatal, my love…"

Obito rolled his eyes, "he does this everytime he doesn't get his way."

Kakashi laughed, amused, "And how often does he not get his way?"

Obito grinned, "I try to make sure that Deidara never gets his way with the food. That usually leads to food poisoning."

Deidara gave an indignant grunt from the floor.

Obito looked down at him, "Deidara why don't you go show Kakashi where he can sleep?"

Deidara wiggled out from under Obito, and grabbed Kakashi's hand, leading him to the bedroom. He took his bag, setting it next to their dresser, and motioned to an ominous pile of blankets. "That's where I sleep."

Kakashi looked concerned. "How do you breathe?"

Deidara shrugged, "It's warm and nice inside it. Feels safe."

Kakashi nodded, sitting down on the mattress. Deidara joined him, quiet for a long moment. He touched Kakashi's arm, watching him for any revulsion, "How do you feel about Obito?" He asked quietly.

Kakashi sighed, "Obito is… He's one of my very best friends. I would do anything for him, and anything to protect him." Deidara smiled softly. Kakashi continued, "And I hope you know that you are also very close to me. I consider you a very good friend, and if this does work out, I don't think I'd mind a single bit."

Deidara laughed, and leaned over, kissing the side of Kakashi's mask, "Trust me. This will work out."

Kakashi flushed a tiny bit, "Okay."

"Deidara, Kakashi! Food's ready!" Obito yelled.

Kakashi and Deidara headed back to the kitchen, and the three sat down at the table, eating and talking happily. Obito kept looking between Kakashi and Deidara with a loving expression. Deidara gave him a look after about ten minutes of this, and pointed to his food. "Eat, motherfucker. "

Obito did as his husband said.

Afterwards, Deidara pulled out some sodas, and grinned, "Guys. Circle up time.' He said, sitting on the floor in the living room, "Let's play a game." The other two reluctantly joined, and Deidara smirked even more, "Never Have I ever. Strip Version."

Kakashi's face turned red, "Oh."

Deidara turned to kakashi, "What? You gonna chicken out?"

Kakashi's eyes narrowed in response, "No."

Obito just sat there smiling, looking happy where he was.

Deidara turned to the other two, "i'll start. Never Have I ever…. Had sex with a girl."

Kakashi paused for a moment, before taking off his shoes.

Obito inhaled sharply, laughing, "Oh fuck, Kakashi, Damn!"

Deidara smiled innocently, "Obito, your turn."

"Never have I ever…. Hm…. tried to subtly ask to suck someone's dick." Obito smirked at Deidara.

Deidara growled, "Fuck off!" He took off his shorts, staring down Kakashi next.

Kakashi coughed, "uhm… never have I ever… had a threesome."

The room was silent for a moment, before a very red faced Deidara pulled off his socks.

Obito gasped, "Deidara! What?!"

Deidara huffed, "I mean. One of them was technically-"

Obito's eyes widened, "Technically what?!"

Deidara mumbled something.

Obito stared, "Louder please, darling…?"

Deidara glared, "Technically a puppet."

Obito started laughing, "I fucking knew it!"

Kakashi just sat in speechless silence staring at Deidara.

Deidara grumbled, glaring at Obito, "Never have I ever fallen in love with my best friend." He cocked his head, smiling.

Obito made a face, taking off his shoes, tossing them at Deidara, "You're a dick, Dei."

Kakashi slowly peeled off his socks.

"Never have I ever fallen in love with my husband's best friend." Obito smiled sweetly at Deidara, winking at Kakashi.

Deidara glared harshly, removing his tshirt. "Don't forget I still have to take out my piercings in."

Kakashi looked confused, "Piercings?"

Deidara winked. "You'll see soon."

Kakashi moved on, "Uhm,... Never have I ever…." He paused, then looked at Obito, "Fallen in love with someone who could never love me back."

Obito yanked off both his socks, throwing them at Kakashi, "Fuck you Kakashi. Here I thought you were a nice person."

Deidara paused, before reaching into his hair, pulling out a earring, setting it on the carpet carefully.

Kakashi looked curious, "Who?"

Deidara just gave him a bitter look, "I don't want to talk about it."

Obito gently took Deidara's hand, "Don't worry, his ugly ass is dead."

Deidara glared at Kakashi, "Never have I ever had an eye transplant."

Kakashi sighed, taking off his headband.

Obito took off his sweatshirt next, a thick black sweater underneath.

Deidara stared at Obito, "okay seriously, how do you feel anything under all that?"

Obito shrugged, "i'm just always cold." He scarily smiled at Kakashi next, "Never have I ever been hokage."

Kakashi laughed more amused than anything, before removing his vest, "Never have I ever been married."

Deidara growled, peeling off his boxers, staring down Kakashi venomously.

Obito giggled, "aww… look Deidara. You're naked."

Deidara hissed, "Shut up!" He covered his crotch embarrassed.

Obito grinned at Kakashi, cracking his knuckles, "Let's go. Never have I ever been hit on by both my best friend and his husband."

Kakashi sighed, pulling off his pants slowly. Deidara's eyes were glued to him the entire time, face flushing when he saw how sculpted Kakashi's thighs were.

Obito started laughing softly, "Deidara I see you over there. Remember you don't have pants on."

Deidara glared in response and flipped him off.

Kakashi popped his neck, "Never have I ever tried to take over the world."

Obito grumpily yanked off his sweater, "i just wanted to help." He sat back down, "Never have I ever taught Naruto."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "You're running out of ideas aren't you?" He peeled off his tshirt, unbuttoning the mask from it. "Never have I ever tried to hurt Minato."

Obito took a deep breath, staring at Kakashi angrily. He flipped him off, taking off his tshirt. "Never have i ever been a bully as a child."

Kakashi stared at him, "How was I a bully?"

"You made me cry!"

"You were a crybaby, Obito. You seriously were. One day you started crying because you loved the flowers growing in one of the training grounds!"

Deidara sighed, "you gotta take it off, Kakashi. You were a bully, i heard all about it."

Kakashi just grumbled, looking at his boxers with a heavy sigh, before pulling them off.

Deidara's face turned red, biting his lip, trying to not stare at Kakashi, who seemed to not really care too much about covering himself up.

Obito tossed his sweater at Deidara, "Cover up before you embarrass yourself, Deidara."

"U-uhm shut up!" Deidara glared at Obito, but placed the sweater in his lap, not bothering to put it on like a normal person would.

Kakashi sighed, "Never have I ever- take something off for each attempt- tried to kill myself." He said, looking sad actually.

Obito stood, taking off his tank top, jeans, and leggings, looking at Kakashi with eyes that smoldered with anger. "Never have I ever killed my best fucking friend."

Kakashi got up, grabbing Obito's hair and yanking on it, punching him in the face hard. The two rolled onto the ground, yelling and fighting with each other. Deidara ran over, and grabbed his clay from the table.

"Knock it off, both of you." Deidara said, sounding a bit giddy but pretty damn calm. Both froze, feeling the crawl of the clay on their skin.

Obito looked up, "Let me get one more hit in!"

"No. You wanted to date him, not fucking murder him an hour ago." Deidara said frusturated. "We are all butt ass naked except for you obito: which fuck you by the way- and we could be, I don't know, making out right now, instead you two gotta go and try to fucking murder each other like a couple of fucking heathens!" He hissed.

Kakashi shrugged, "He started it."

Obito snapped turning back, "Okay, listen here, fuck boy-"

"NO. No. Obito, get off of Kakashi. Now. Both of you, say you're sorry."

Kakashi sighed, "I apologize to you obito…. Because you can't keep your calm."

Obito growled, "You know what- I will actually fucking stab you if you-"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU." Deidara growled, "We, meaning all three of us, are going to go into that bed room, and we are all going to be nice and not try to kill anyone, and we are going to talk. And Cuddle. If I feel less than two bodies cuddling me at once I can promise that there will be body parts spread across all of konoha." He said demandingly.

Obito crossed his arms, pouting.

"Obito, go." Deidara pointed towards the bedroom.

Obito disappeared from the living room, and Deidara sighed, grabbing the untouched sodas he'd grabbed for the three of them. "Come on Kakashi. If the most explosive person in all of konoha can keep his cool around you two, then I think you two can figure out how to interact without being petty."

Kakashi just chuckled, "Okay, Deidara."

Once in the bedroom, Deidara grabbed his biggest blanket, and laid down curling up against Obito, "babbbeee…." He whined.

Obito glanced at him before giving a soft "Hmph".

"Babe please, I'm cold and I want cuddles…." Deidara looked at Obito with big pathetic eyes. Obito sighed, cuddling him quietly.

Kakashi had pulled on pajama pants, lying down quietly on the bed, silent for awhile.

The silence was golden as the three laid there, watching the hours tick by. Around 2 AM, Kakashi finally drifted to sleep.

At exactly three minutes to 3 AM, Deidara and Obito kissed, whispering I love you's before rolling over and falling asleep to the sound of Kakashi snoring.