[L]ove Dr[a]co Her[m]ion[e] Pick Up Lines
Author: HisLie1HerMistake
Summary: Draco tries to woo Hermione through lame pick-up lines. Watch him succeed.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I don't own the Wizards of Waverly Place idea that's all Starkid Potter. Go and watch 'A Very Potter Musical' on YouTube.
Draco Malfoy. Pureblood. Slytherin Prince. Hogwarts Heartthrob. Had come to a startling realization, a shocking realization, a life changing realization that was about to change his life forever. He was in l-lo-lo-love with Hermione Granger. Muggleborn. Bookworm. Gryffindor Princess.
He couldn't begin to understand how or when all of this… attraction for her started. But he did understand it was too strong to end anytime soon. He also understood he always got what he wanted, and he wanted her. He'd have to find a way to woo her.
Day 1: Draco entered the library after dinner. He knew Hermione would be there and he was just dying to try out his new pick-up line. He'd heard it on his favorite show, Wizards of Waverly Place.
He made his way to her section of the library, and yes it was her section, the entire Hogwarts population knew to stay away from it when she was working. Harry knew, Ron knew and Draco did too, but it did not stop him from marching over there (and ending his life) and throwing his gorgeous bum down on the highly uncomfortable chair across from hers.
She was reading a fairly large textbook, catching up on her OWLS he presumed, even though they were still months away. She didn't seem to notice him, sitting there all fine looking, just waiting for her to look up and start drooling at the sight of him. Really, that sight in front could compare to the Empire State Building or the Eiffel Tower or something of that magnitude and she wasn't appreciating it.
"Ahem" Draco cleared his throat, not liking the feeling of being ignored. For gods sake he was Draco Malfoy, Slytherin sex god, how could he be ignored? Heads turned everywhere he went and she was just sitting there as if he was just a regular person sitting in front of her.
"What?" Hermione snapped, her hands holding her monster of a book with way more strength than was really necessary. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out she was annoyed, very annoyed, enough that she was planning to hex his balls off.
Draco sat up straight in his chair, fixed his tie and ran a hand through his hair. "Hi… Would you fuck me? Cause I'd fuck me real hard," He flashed her an award winning smile and winked his eyes shining with humor.
Hermione's eyes flashed, and not with humor. She stood up from her chair and walked to his side of the table, his eyes flickered with hope, but she lifted her arm and smacked his head with her titanic sized textbook. And that's all Draco remembers before it all went blank.