Stonewall Façade
I look up at Finian.
He is smiling out at the sea. I reflect on this. Finian has a nice smile, as humans go. It's not particularly different, but the way his face seems to flow into it, the way he seems so sincere. He seems so naïve, yet not… his face and smile stare out at the sea, as if he has some sort of pact, or promise to it, and it, in return, has not withdrawn itself from the shores. Finian is weak.
And Lady Alecia is stupid. Is she so blinded by mountebank love that she cannot see that her son would die, were it not for the sea?
Somehow, though, I like Finian. He has come to be my best friend here, even though he is weak. I do not want Lady Alecia's idiocy to harm Finian, nor his smile, nor his sea. This is not my style. I do not befriend those weaker than I. But Finian is my friend. My only friend, except for Liquorice.
This is my Weakness.
It is very strange to have a friend. I am used to solitude – listening, sensing, feeling… I am used to taking in other people's feelings, their emotions. I am not used to having someone take in mine. No one pays attention to Corinna Stonewall. No one even knows Corinna Stonewall exists.
I glance again at Finian. He has deep red hair, and spectacles becoming to him and his angular face. I judge in the eyes of Corinna, for Corin would never look at Finian the way I look at him now. Indeed, I look away from his face – it would be revealing to further look upon his visage. Finian is perceptive, as humans go.
Talking to Finian is amusing.
Whenever I am free from the Cellar, I am glad to go sailing with him. He amuses me, and even though I realize my weakness, around him, my weakness feels like a comfort. In his presence, I feel omniscient.
When I'm around Finian, I feel this warmth spread from my heart to the tips of my fingers. I feel as if I have been blessed – but I do not believe in a god.
This warmness is pleasant. It is yet another Secret, of so many. Part of me wishes Finian would just guess at all of my secrets. Part of me wishes for someone to confide in.
But a confidence is a Weakness. And a confidence's cons would outweigh its pros indescribably. A Confidence is not a risk I, Corin, am willing to take. For now, I must watch Finian as Corin and Corinna. Stonewall. Finian, my friend. Finian, the weak one that must be kept watch over. Finian the susceptible.
No.
I shall carry on as I always have – caring only for Corinna and Corin… and maybe Liquorice. Finian may take care of himself.
Corin and Corinna are not different entities. They are the same. Corin and Corinna shall not fight to become me. Why must they each have conflicting interests now? Why must Corin protest that I have a friend? Why must Corinna wish me to be weakened by my own thoughts?
In the end, there is only one name I can trust. One name that will give me what I need. One name that was given to me. Not the name on the placard, pinned to my clothes the night they found me. Not the name that has become two, each half, fighting desperately to claim my soul.
Stonewall. It is who I am. It is who I have come to be.
A stone wall has no fluff on the inside. A stone wall is solid, well built, all the way through. A stone wall is cold, and nerveless; it cannot feel. I am a stone wall, and I was not the one to thus christen myself. My coloring is even that of a cold, white, pasty stone wall. Stonewall is me.
Stonewall. It suits me so perfectly. Just because I have moved, tending the Folk elsewhere, does not mean I should desert who I am.
Yet some part of my mind is whispering…
Every stone wall has cracks…
So, your thoughts? This is Folk Keeper fanfiction, and it is a oneshot, and I would be happy to edit, etc if people would take the time to review!!! So, I suppose that's all. I might have over or under done some parts... just, please please PLEASE review!!!
Ellen.