Disclaimer: I do NOT own Worms

This is my first story, the daunting task to put a magnificent idea in my head onto paper. This story may be great or a unquestionable failure, enjoy.

Waiting for the break of day

Searching for something to say

Flashing lights against the sky

Giving up I close my eyes

Sitting cross-legged on the floor

25 or 6 to 4

Staring blindly into space

Getting up to sp-

*Crash*

"Sigurn!" yelled a small high-pitched worm, "I was listening to that!"

"Well I was tired of listening to that Freya!" Sigurn bellowed back. Freya immediately shut-up, something about his deep voice and thick Scottish accent would do that to anyone. Yet Sigurn kept rambling on.

"I was fine with that song for the first 3,000 or so times but once you reached the three-thousand and first time, that's when I became very, very, angry. I still tolerated for the next two hundred times, but it finally drove me to the point of hitting it with a baseball bat."

Sigurn continued to rattle on for about half an hour before he realized no one was listening, then squirmed out to get the mail. He rose into sight at the moment the mailworm touched the ground. He instantaneously charged out and snatched up the paper, at first sight of the front page his usual frown turned into a deep scowl. He turned to the mailworm to strike him with the paper, but saw that the worm had taken off on jetpack. Rhubarb, his very large third worm, had risen up out of the ground to get the mail not knowing that Sigurn had already received it. As soon as Sigurn noticed him he charged over to show him the headline. Rhubarb read it and also started to scowl.

Meanwhile, on an island relatively far away.

DragonFace, leader of the Elite Force, woke up and put on his usual deep purple dragon mask. Very few worms had seen his face because he constantly wore his mask, and with a very good reason.

When he was a young little worm, his father, in one of his blind, drunken rages, turned a flamethrower on poor DragonFace, burning his face beyond repair and recognition. From that point on he always wore a dragon mask, earning him his name.

Anyway, he stepped outside to get the mail, and saw a newspaper lying on the ground. He could just see the headline from where he was standing: Leader of the Gods Declares War on Three Other Teams. DragonFace was intrigued by this so he picked up the newspaper and continued to read.

Sigurn, leader of the Gods has issued a war challenge against three other teams, Liquid Silk, which is led by PurpleLite, Kilburn Del, led by Log, and the Elite Force, led by DragonFace. The war is expected to be withot any alliances because Log does not get along well with DragonFace, DragonFace does not agree with Sigurn, and PurpleLite haets everybody. Severl other teams are expected to show up and watch the war if they can find it. We also have coments from some of those teams.

Team Chesh replied to our questions with, "I hope Sigurn loses, no one should declare war out of the blu."

Evil Team replied with, "Yes! Evil plan Working! :)

And finally the Military Wurms replied with, "We hope they all los, than we can take over teh islands easier."

We are sorry for all typos in the paper, we just hired a new press worm and we had to sack him because he was doing a terrible job. Thank You and have a nice day.

DragonFace was so shocked at this report that he had to check the title to make sure it wasn't The Onion, and that the postal service hadn't screwed up again. After he ascertained that it wasn't a clever hoax he gathered his troops, Blasted, Flash, and Tombstone (Tomb), and headed to Harvest Island to gather food.

Meanwhile on an island not as far away as the previous one.

Log was sitting outside enjoying the day and watching Dr. X and Dr. Stupid attempt to beat the crap out of each other. It was no contest, there was no possibility that Dr. Stupid would win, he had an IQ of 20, it was a wonder he could squirm and talk. Dr. Stupid threw a punch an Dr. X and his fist was caught, Dr. X then proceeded to kick him repeatedly in the face with his tail, threw a punch back at Dr. Stupid and in turn, his fist was eaten. At this point Log had to intervene, he squirmed up to Dr. Stupid yelling, "Spit his fist out!" After several minutes and the aide of a sledgehammer, Dr. Stupid finally spit it out and was promptly hit in the face with the very same fist. At this point Log noticed the mailworm, who was parachuting down with a newspaper in one hand and a DVD copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in the other.

"Got a special edition of the newspaper for you." spoke the mailworm.

"I don't care about that," said Log, his voice noticeably giddy with excitement, "Give me the movie.

"I really think you want to read this," he replied.

"I want the movie."

"No, really you should read this"

"Give me the movie."

"Read the paper."

"The movie."

"Paper."

"Movie."

"Paper!"

"Movie!"

"Paper!"

"Movie!"

"Read the paper or I will break the movie!"

"Break the movie an I will cut your head off!"

"I will cancel your subscription to Cat Fancy magazines if you don't read the paper."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

The arguing would have gone on for several more hours if Dr. Stupid hadn't gotten his head stuck in a pickle jar, his left hand stuck in a vacuum cleaner, and his tail stuck in a microwave oven that Dr. X was now starting.

"Dr. X!" spoke Log in a very stentorian tone.

"But sir! I- I- I'm sorry." said Dr. X sounding very defeated.

"Now, you good sir knight-."

"Hey, I'm Jim, the Mail Delivery Worm."

"Like I care, I'll read the paper if you free Dr. Stupid over there."

"Deal."

So Dr. Stupid was freed, the mailworm left with his head still attached, and Log became very angry at the war declaration. Now in case you were wondering, I, the new narrator, speak with a British accent because the old narrator was killed by Sigurn in a fit of rage. Next we shall visit the place of Liquid Silk. The team I personally find the most annoying, led by PurpleLite, who is the father of Sigurn, DragonFace, Dragon, and Darth Vader, who "accidentally" got his tongue stuck to a warm pole, who almost drowned on dry land, and who has the longest losing streak on Black Ops.

Meanwhile on an island about far enough away for two swallows to migrate while carrying a coconut between them.

"PurpleLite! PurpleLite! Did you get the newspaper yet?" Screeched one Log jacked up on enough caffeine to make a sloth run a marathon.

"Hey!" PurpleLite yelled back, "I'm taking my mid morning nap."

"Oh! You mean the one between your early morning and late morning naps?"

"Yes! Now will you shut up."

"After you read the paper."

"The mail hasn't even arrived yet."

"Of course it has. Didn't you hear the narrator? The distance is only far enough away for two swallows to migrate while carrying a coconut between them."

Hey! I said that!

"I know! I said that you said that ."

As long as you said that I said that I am fine with you saying that.

"Hey!" Bellowed PurpleLite, "I will read the paper if both of you shut up."

Spoil sport

"I heard that!"

You Were Meant To!

"I can not believe this newspaper." hollered Log.

"Silence! I am trying to read this."

"No, seriously a 1960's era Police Public Call box has been sighted in Utah."

"I can not believe Sigurn would do that!"

"I know, why would he fool worms into believing the Doctor has arrived."

"No, not that you fool, the war declaration!"

Just give it up. He has enough caffeine to make people mistake his heartbeat for that of a hummingbird.

"Well PurpleLite, shall we head to Harvest Island?"

I for one think it is a marvelous idea.

"Yeah, but you're the narrator, you no something we don't."

Of course, and you spelled "know" wrong.

"How could you possibly know that I spelled a word wrong when I spoke the word."

Well... I am the narrator.

"Silence!" screeched PurpleLite, "We will head there if both of you will SHUT UP!"

Someone is a bit grumpy.

Yes! Chapter one complete. Please leave a review so I know what to improve on and when to stop rambling in the story. I will sprinkle Monty Python, Doctor Who, and other miscellaneous references everywhere throughout the story.

Who raises the most suspicion?

What will happen when annelids collide?

When will all this happen?

Where is my pen!

How will the upcoming war affect all worm kind?

Why won't I stop asking questions?

All this shall be answered eventually.