I have always watched them, always wondering what it would be like to be a part of the "golden trio" as some call them. Harry, with nearly unmatchable love and courage. Ron, with strategies and a serious lack of attention. Hermione, with intelligence surpassed by none. I long to be like them, to be with them. Nothing can ever break their unbreakable bond.

I watched as Harry and Ron struggled to discover the secret of the chamber. As Hermione, though petrified, still proved to be a veritable mine of information. I observed as they fought through third year, rescuing Sirius and using the time turner. I stared as Harry struggled through the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the troubles of friendship. Finally when I was in fourth year, they began actually talking to me. Well at least they realized I existed.

I look at Harry and I see bravery beyond compare, eyes that have been hardened by images to horrible to imagine, and a heart filled with love and compassion.

For a while I had that love. He held me close and kissed me. He trusted me, which is a gift that no one will take from me. His trust is hard to gain and even harder to hold, but he gave it to me and I vowed to never break it. But then he spoke to me the words I dreaded to hear. "Ginny this has to end." Those words, spoken so adamantly, shattered my would be perfect world. The fear and knowing in his voice was visible, as was the pain to speak those words.

I have to wonder, what caused him to say them. I know Dumbledore's death hit him hard, but why end what had been so perfect? Why end what was a well of love and freedom? Why end something when you needed it most? The answer lies in the events that happened before Dumbledore's death, I'm sure of it.

What am I to do now, something strange is going on between those three. Sometimes I can hear them whispering urgently late into the night. No one absolutely no one, not even the Order, knows what is discussed when they lock the doors and talk for hours on end. Will they leave? I hope not. They have become a part of me.

Things have gone back to the way they were before they noticed me. They know things they are definitely not willing to share.

Those three have always known things even Dumbledore wasn't aware of. They achieve things without even the tiniest bit of detection or interference from any teacher or adult. They have a way to get what they want. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are probably the most stubborn and resourceful people I know.

I don't want it to go back to the way it was before they noticed me. That had been terrible. Even though Harry, Ron, and Hermione treated everyone equal to them, (except Malfoy and the rest of the slytherins, who they treated worse than the scum on the bottoms of their shoes) they always had an air about them that made you feel inferior. So they pushed me away, as though I wasn't important enough or trustworthy enough, to be apart of their clique.

Even when Hermione became my friend, she kept things from me. It just isn't fair! How can people so loving make you feel like an insignificant bug?

The world around me is changing. People are dying and being tortured. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has armies growing in numbers, power, and skill. Dark times that have been approaching for years are now inevitable. My friends are changing, growing up and hardening.

I am changing; I am quieter and listen more. I am determined to help, but no one will let me do so. My skills stay strong but to not excel. I will be strong, I will help, and I will grow. I promise.