Disclaimer: I don't own them. Get away.
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Miroku is a hentai. Honestly. Making me believe that he was seriously injured, making me worried, then trying to feel me up! Good. Grief. But, it's not like Kagome and InuYasha are any better. He can't decide whether he loves Kikyo or Kagome; he's said he belongs to Kikyo, then gets ticked when Koga says he loves Kagome. She obviously loves InuYasha, but then she kisses up to Koga and lets him get away; and the way they argue! And the way they look at each other. *sigh* I wish Miroku would . . . Gyaahh, but that's never gonna happen. Well . . . yeah, knowing him, all he wants me for is . . . well, yeah. But . . . Oh, God. Tell me I'm not falling in love with him. I mean, he did save Kohaku and I at risk of his own life. And he did carry my father's and the other slayers' bones away from where Naraku's castle once was. It's not like he's been anything but caring to me. But . . . There are those moments . . . *grrr* . . . When the real hentai in him comes out - Koharu, feeling me up, "a little money for the ladies" . . . *GRRR* -little voice in my head- "why, Sango, I do believe you are jealous." GYAAAHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! *huff-huff* Anyway- Oh, speak of the devil. ". . . Miroku."
"Oh, hello, Sango." He looks down at me. "D'you mind if I join you?"
"No, go ahead." I hope I'm not blushing.
He lowers himself to the ground, crossing his legs and setting his staff against the tree we're sitting under. "Ah. Well, this is comfortable." he leans his head back and to all affects and purposes, he goes to sleep.
*eyebrow twitches* "Yeah, well," I mutter.
He opens one eye. "Hmm?"
I jump. "Oh, nothing." Yeah, right. "I just thought you were asleep." Faker. Probably did it on purpose.
He smiles. I wonder if he can hear my heart beating? No, no, no. Stop it, Sango. He probably only likes you for your looks anyway. "Oh, yeah."
My head whips around. "Inu-InuYasha?" And Kagome too. "You were spying on us." *Grrr*
Kagome whacks InuYasha on the head. "Oh, so this is what you do in your spare time." She looks at me. "Sango, honestly, I caught him sneaking off and followed him. But we're leaving now."
InuYasha protests. "But, Kagome-"
"SIT!" *THUD*
Oh yes. I wish I had that power. So fun.
"OWWW! Kagome, what'd you do that for?'
"Come on." she grabs his sleeve and drags him off.
I watch them go, rolling my eyes. "They just don't get it."
"Yes, I know what you mean." Miroku has his chin in his hand. "They seem to be acting the same as usual, but . . ."
"I know. They are still confused about their feelings for each other." So sad. *sigh* Like me. Although I don't know if Miroku cares for me at all.
"AAH!" I jump.
"What?!" Miroku is holding his shoulder, bending around it protectively. I brace his shoulders with my hands. "Damn! An arrow - one of Sesshomaru's." And Miroku is wounded! Oh, no, Sesshomaru is not going to hurt him further!
Thankfully, I'm still in my slayer outfit as the asshole - I mean demon (not much of an improvement) comes into view. Yeah. I was right. "Sesshomaru!"
His virtually emotionless eyes cloud as they meet mine. Whatever. "Why do you attack?" I gesture at Miroku.
Miroku declares, "We have committed no provocation. Tell us, what could be your motive?" And where are your henchmen?
"You killed Rin."
I nearly drop to the grass. Rin. That ever-cheerful little soul, happy in the face of Sesshomaru's silence. Gone. "Oh, gods."
I look at Miroku. I wonder if my face is as pale as his.
But the look in his eyes - it isn't what I'm feeling. I feel sad, empty - thought Sesshomaru didn't know it, Rin and I were . . . friends. But the look in his eyes is not sadness. It's different. Uncertain.
Fear. Something's wrong.
This time I do slump to the ground. "No." I crawl towards him. "No." My voice is tortured. As I reach him, I grab his shoulders, regardless of his wound. "NO!" I shriek as I shake him and begin to sob. "Tell me you didn't do it!" I'm shaking now. "Tell me!" My head drops, and I feel his arms come up as I lose my balance. "NO!"
I shove him away, feeling lost, still sobbing. This is as bad as losing Kohaku was. Except this time it's the fault of the man I love. Miroku.
Oh, gods.
No. Rin. Her smile, her willingness to obey Sesshomaru's every whim.
Sesshomaru!
I look in his direction, half blinded by tears, kneeling and bent over. My eyes find his, and - Oh, my god. He's . . . he is . . . Lord Sesshomaru, stoic, unemotional demon . . .
Crying.
As if in a trance I rise, facing Sesshomaru.
Miroku sobs, "Sango . . ."
As I look at him, my hatred for the damned monk freezes the tears on my face. His eyes are full of anguish, and I now can tell that he loves me, but I don't want it. I swallow, meeting Miroku's eyes, and I bend to pick up my weapon.
I turn again to face Sesshomaru. Miroku slumps to the ground; I hear him sobbing. But I walk, consciously measuring my steps so I don't stumble on the even ground.
Sesshomaru has his face in one hand, bow in the other. As I reach him he raises a composed, tearstained face to me.
I look him squarely in the eye. "I'm sorry."
He nods. "I . . ." He looks away, then back.
"Yes. I'm coming with you." An accepting glance, then he turns and we walk away, my hand on his shoulder.
In silence for about fifteen minutes, we mourn over Rin as we walk. I simply cannot embrace her death. All I can do is . . . just let is sink in. that's all. She isn't here. I think of things - would Rin like that? I'll go . . . But I can't ask, and I can't hear her sprightly little songs. I can't watch her dance, and I can't bring her cherries. I can't . . . remember. The only time I could remember my father was with her. She eased the pain of thinking of him, his laugh, his steady walk - his death . . .
I realize we've stopped. Sesshomaru is watching me with a closed expression. "What?"
He reached and catches a tear as it falls from my eye, then lifts it in front of me. "You're crying."
I put a hand to my cheek. Wet. Suddenly all of it falls onto my shoulders, and I crumple. He catches me; I'm sobbing, hard, and he has to sit to hold on to me. His legs crossed, he wraps his arms around me and we cry together. "Rin . . . Rin . . ."
It is night now, as I awaken. I lift my head, looking around hazily until I realize where I am. Sesshomaru is still holding me. We must have cried ourselves to sleep.
Wow. He . . . He looks so peaceful, so young, when he's like this. Asleep.
*yawwn* I'm so . . . tired . . .
"Hmmm?" Oh. Sesshomaru is waking up, shifting his arms. "You woke me up."
"I apologize." He looks at me, at my eyes, and I see the hurt resurface in his own. He looks down, closes his eyes.
"You loved her."
His head snaps up, his brows slam together, and those golden eyes stake me to the ground. I feel . . . alone when he does that. Like after Kohaku killed . . . and Naraku . . .
I bury my face in my hands. "Please don't do that to me." I know I sound forlorn, but that's how I feel.
His hands hold my shoulders, and he tries to meet my eyes, ducking his head. "Do what?" He sounds irritated. Irritated, of all the nerve!
Dropping my hands from my face, I glare at him. "Don't look at me as if I killed Rin." I push myself up, and stalk off into the woods. God. I just need to be alone.
These woods . . . They're so peaceful, so serene. The light's patchwork warming the plants, the skitter of underbrush life. I could walk through them forever, and never find disturbance. At least I haven't yet.
Miroku. Why did you kill Rin? What did you have against her? What did she do to you? I can't understand what could have turned you from lech to murderer. Why does my heart still contract at the thought of you? You are a murderous fiend. Either you hid it well or it only just came into being. But what could have caused it? What past transgressions could have made you slaughter an innocent? And why did it have to be Rin? Why couldn't you have just killed Jaken, or Naraku himself? He is the one to blame to all our troubles. Not Sesshomaru. Not Rin.
Not me. You knew about my friendship with Rin. You knew how it would affect me. And if you loved me, you wouldn't have done it. Despite past transgressions. Despite Sesshomaru being our enemy. But you killed her. You signed your death sentence in her blood. And you will have to pay. All deserve to be judged, yet none deserve to judge. And I will see you on Judgment Day. I will cinch the noose about your neck, and mark your throaty as a sword's mark, and bind your limbs, bare your back and prepare the salt. I will not personally judge you, but I will help.
And so will Sesshomaru. You weren't looking at him yesterday, you didn't see him cry. You tore a gash in his heart, too, when you killed Rin. He loved her, body and soul, and he will not easily give up his grudge. I won't do the judging; maybe he will. Maybe he will loose the trapdoor, or swing the scythe, or whip the gashes into which I will pour the salt. But I will fall dead at his feet if he says he has forgiven you.
*gasp* what about Kagome and InuYasha? What could you have told them to reconcile yourself in their eyes? Or have they not found you yet, without me? Have you hidden? InuYasha . . . do you miss her? I know that the few times you met Rin, you were fond of her, though you put on an act as if you found her annoying. But you honestly liked her. How will you be? Can you take this one more dagger stab? Miroku is - or was - your friend. How will that change? Will you hate him? Do you want to strangle him beyond all reason? I know. Me too.
And Kagome. Are you okay? Is InuYasha doing that withdrawal thing again? Is he giving you enough comfort? You cared for Rin too. Didn't she remind you of your brother, Sota? . . . D'you miss him? D'you miss her? *sigh* Me too.
*rustle* "So, you finally snap out of your reverie." Sesshomaru.
"Bastard." My voice is near silent, but the woods are too. He hears me.
"No. That would be InuYasha."
I leap to my feet, fists clenched. "Why, you-! How dare you?" I run at him, fists flying, my feet as if they had wings. By the time our five-minute battle is done, I am panting with rang and Sesshomaru is panting with pain and exhaustion. "If you ever insult my friends again, you'll get more than that!"
Something explodes in my stomach, and I taste the blood as it soars out of my mouth. I double, but again Sesshomaru catches me, wincing from a nearly broken ankle and several pulled muscles. He heaves me into his arms, and the last thing I can remember is bouncy, fray-edged vision.
My eyes won't open properly. I can only see slits of fuzzy trees-and-sky. I try to sit up, but when the figures swirl in their dance of insanity, I must close my eyes. Ooooh. My head . . . Pounding, throbbing, in a rhythmic pattern that makes my skull want to burst. I lurch, even sitting, to the side; which? I can't tell.
I know those arms. And those hands. And that . . . mouth?
Suddenly everything works perfectly, and Sesshomaru ends up sprawled on his back. "You lech! Trying to take advantage of me while I was half-unconscious, huh?"
He looks at me coldly as he rises and dusts himself off, but I see another face. Miroku-chan.
Oh God! My knees, waist, back, head, all bent, hands pressed to ears, as if I'm trying to resist gravity's song. But all I want is for him to stop appearing wherever I don't think!
Dammit, Sesshomaru is reaching for me again! And he treats it like a business deal, for gods' sake. I swat his hands away, hard, letting my nails gouge his fingers.
His hands whip out and crush my wrists, restraining my flailing arms. He pulls me close, gripping both my wrists in one hand and my chin in the other. "Do you honestly believe I would do that?" His voice, low and cold, chills me, and his gaze, so lofty and aloof, once again spears me to the earth. "Do you honestly believe I could forget her that fast?"
Since I am unable to look away, I suffice by closing my eyes. His grip loosens, and I feel a stabbing pain in my stomach.
Sesshomaru's face is emotionless. "You idiot." And he doesn't say it fondly, either.
"Jerk." My whisper. His face remains stoic.
He slings me into his arms, wrenching my stomach, walking a few steps, laying me down. Roughly. Damn . . . *glare*
Oof. And why is it always me, never him, who ends up unconscious? Blaah. But I feel better now.
Sitting up, I notice. Blanket. On me. Pillow. Behind me. Sesshomaru. Sleeping. Sitting against a tree. Hmmm.
Not watching me. *smile* I can leave.
I gather up my clothes and put them into a sack, then pick up my weapon. As steadily as I can, I limp out of the glad the demon found. Oof. I wonder what hit my stomach. Glancing around just at the edge, I spot a knife lying half-buried in bloody cloths. Going back, I pick it up, and, thinking I'd like to repay the owner of the knife, I put it in my sack.
Yeah. Now I can leave.
Back into the woods. These silent woods. The tall trees, the rustling shrubs. The mountain-scented wind, the frivolous birds. They all seem so happy. *sigh* I wish I were. I don't know how to live like this, in crisis. I guess . . . well, I can't be prepared. I'll just take it as it comes. I mean, how can I be prepared for something I don't know? These woods seem to bring out all of the questions I didn't know I had. They let me think, without interruption. But I still can't answer all the questions I've had recently. Heh. "Sesshomaru won't let me."
A chuckle. I spin, every nerve on alert. "No, I won't let you. Whatever it is." A flutter of wings and she - it? - lands gracefully in front of me. Toe, ball, heel, other foot, arms extended down and outward as if to steady herself, wings folding.
She lifts her head. Between her brows, a mark - perfectly identical to the one on the hilt of the knife!
"You." Still staring at her mark, I know she must have thrown the knife. Then I look at her eyes. A jolt goes through me; I feel my own eyes shock themselves open.
Suddenly I am locked inside my mind. I cannot move but for my eyes. The creature, I have no doubt she is a demon, circles me as though I were a horse to be bought, looking me up and down. "Yes, yes." She sounds as though she is comparing me to someone.
"You are the monk's woman."
I spin around and crack my hand across her face, which is perfectly, save for the browmark, cruel. Her head snaps to the side, blood singing from her mouth. She staggers, the catches herself. Her unclad foot scrapes against a rock leaving a dark path across the dirt. A hand to her bloody mouth, she looks at me confused. "How did you break the mindlock?" she sounds small, insecure. I suppose the grand entrance was just to help her insecurity complex. "It's supposed to be unbreakable." Now she sounds petulant. Then she straightens up, back to the imposing self.
A cold, ironic smile. "You are the woman of that monk - Miroku, I believe his name is?"
"His name is dirt bag, as far as I'm concerned, and how dare you ally me with that backstabbing bastard." I'm shaking with suppressed rage and abhorrence. "Why do you look like . . .?" Rin.
"Yes, Rin . . . She was my little sister."
"Oh! But-"
"And thanks," she continues, "to the carelessness of you humans, she is dead." Her eyes narrow. "Where is that demon you traveled with?"
"Here." Sesshomaru steps into sight.
Hmph. He was probably following me, and just pretended to be asleep.
"You." Uttered as if it were the worst insult ever to come into being. "You are mostly to blame. For Rin's death. You left her side for some frivolous reason, and you let her die. You could have protected her, but you didn't! You BASTARD!"
She flies at Sesshomaru like a harridan, screaming the battle cry of revenge - pain, hate, need. Need for blood. That's what she's after. Her foot snaps up, to be met with his forearm, and the selfsame hand grabs her ankle and swings. She uses her wings for balance, the dives, knife I hand. Another knife. But Sesshomaru is still wounded from our own battle yesterday, and so I take a running leap, not sure if I can make it before the knife connects with Sesshomaru's back.
"OWWW-WWW!" Five seconds later I hop around, holding my sore foot. "Dammit, that knife is sharp!" Finally I sit, still holding my foot, and look up. Sesshomaru is still crouched where he bent to relieve his nearly broken ankle. The demon is sitting, holding her wrist, into which my foot smashed. Both of them are staring at me.
"Sesshomaru, I just saved you life." *eyebrow twitches* Well, at least he has the decency to blush. I turn to the she-demon. "I just save you from temporary insanity." I point. "He's not the person you want to be killing." *sigh* God, my eyes are getting wet again. "Miroku is."
"I know that." As if I'm stupid? Grr. "But . . . I . . ." Damn. She's crying. Now I'm going to start crying, too. Yeah. But Sesshomaru's going to her. Good. I hate him. *sniff* I look down at my foot, pretending to massage it, when really I am hiding my tears.
You know what? I slam my fist into the ground. Standing abruptly, I see the other two, kneeling, staring at me. "I am tired of crying. I am going to kill Naraku." I'll find him. When I do, I'll kill him. I know it's suicidal; that's why I'm doing it.
I bend to pick up my weapon, and, sling it over my shoulder, I look at Sesshomaru. I know what my look says; it's telling him, I can't ask you to come with me, but still, be careful. He looks down, eyes hidden from my view. When I can see them again, he murmurs, "I want a piece of Naraku too."
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Blaaah. But I will update soon. If I get reviews.
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Miroku is a hentai. Honestly. Making me believe that he was seriously injured, making me worried, then trying to feel me up! Good. Grief. But, it's not like Kagome and InuYasha are any better. He can't decide whether he loves Kikyo or Kagome; he's said he belongs to Kikyo, then gets ticked when Koga says he loves Kagome. She obviously loves InuYasha, but then she kisses up to Koga and lets him get away; and the way they argue! And the way they look at each other. *sigh* I wish Miroku would . . . Gyaahh, but that's never gonna happen. Well . . . yeah, knowing him, all he wants me for is . . . well, yeah. But . . . Oh, God. Tell me I'm not falling in love with him. I mean, he did save Kohaku and I at risk of his own life. And he did carry my father's and the other slayers' bones away from where Naraku's castle once was. It's not like he's been anything but caring to me. But . . . There are those moments . . . *grrr* . . . When the real hentai in him comes out - Koharu, feeling me up, "a little money for the ladies" . . . *GRRR* -little voice in my head- "why, Sango, I do believe you are jealous." GYAAAHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! *huff-huff* Anyway- Oh, speak of the devil. ". . . Miroku."
"Oh, hello, Sango." He looks down at me. "D'you mind if I join you?"
"No, go ahead." I hope I'm not blushing.
He lowers himself to the ground, crossing his legs and setting his staff against the tree we're sitting under. "Ah. Well, this is comfortable." he leans his head back and to all affects and purposes, he goes to sleep.
*eyebrow twitches* "Yeah, well," I mutter.
He opens one eye. "Hmm?"
I jump. "Oh, nothing." Yeah, right. "I just thought you were asleep." Faker. Probably did it on purpose.
He smiles. I wonder if he can hear my heart beating? No, no, no. Stop it, Sango. He probably only likes you for your looks anyway. "Oh, yeah."
My head whips around. "Inu-InuYasha?" And Kagome too. "You were spying on us." *Grrr*
Kagome whacks InuYasha on the head. "Oh, so this is what you do in your spare time." She looks at me. "Sango, honestly, I caught him sneaking off and followed him. But we're leaving now."
InuYasha protests. "But, Kagome-"
"SIT!" *THUD*
Oh yes. I wish I had that power. So fun.
"OWWW! Kagome, what'd you do that for?'
"Come on." she grabs his sleeve and drags him off.
I watch them go, rolling my eyes. "They just don't get it."
"Yes, I know what you mean." Miroku has his chin in his hand. "They seem to be acting the same as usual, but . . ."
"I know. They are still confused about their feelings for each other." So sad. *sigh* Like me. Although I don't know if Miroku cares for me at all.
"AAH!" I jump.
"What?!" Miroku is holding his shoulder, bending around it protectively. I brace his shoulders with my hands. "Damn! An arrow - one of Sesshomaru's." And Miroku is wounded! Oh, no, Sesshomaru is not going to hurt him further!
Thankfully, I'm still in my slayer outfit as the asshole - I mean demon (not much of an improvement) comes into view. Yeah. I was right. "Sesshomaru!"
His virtually emotionless eyes cloud as they meet mine. Whatever. "Why do you attack?" I gesture at Miroku.
Miroku declares, "We have committed no provocation. Tell us, what could be your motive?" And where are your henchmen?
"You killed Rin."
I nearly drop to the grass. Rin. That ever-cheerful little soul, happy in the face of Sesshomaru's silence. Gone. "Oh, gods."
I look at Miroku. I wonder if my face is as pale as his.
But the look in his eyes - it isn't what I'm feeling. I feel sad, empty - thought Sesshomaru didn't know it, Rin and I were . . . friends. But the look in his eyes is not sadness. It's different. Uncertain.
Fear. Something's wrong.
This time I do slump to the ground. "No." I crawl towards him. "No." My voice is tortured. As I reach him, I grab his shoulders, regardless of his wound. "NO!" I shriek as I shake him and begin to sob. "Tell me you didn't do it!" I'm shaking now. "Tell me!" My head drops, and I feel his arms come up as I lose my balance. "NO!"
I shove him away, feeling lost, still sobbing. This is as bad as losing Kohaku was. Except this time it's the fault of the man I love. Miroku.
Oh, gods.
No. Rin. Her smile, her willingness to obey Sesshomaru's every whim.
Sesshomaru!
I look in his direction, half blinded by tears, kneeling and bent over. My eyes find his, and - Oh, my god. He's . . . he is . . . Lord Sesshomaru, stoic, unemotional demon . . .
Crying.
As if in a trance I rise, facing Sesshomaru.
Miroku sobs, "Sango . . ."
As I look at him, my hatred for the damned monk freezes the tears on my face. His eyes are full of anguish, and I now can tell that he loves me, but I don't want it. I swallow, meeting Miroku's eyes, and I bend to pick up my weapon.
I turn again to face Sesshomaru. Miroku slumps to the ground; I hear him sobbing. But I walk, consciously measuring my steps so I don't stumble on the even ground.
Sesshomaru has his face in one hand, bow in the other. As I reach him he raises a composed, tearstained face to me.
I look him squarely in the eye. "I'm sorry."
He nods. "I . . ." He looks away, then back.
"Yes. I'm coming with you." An accepting glance, then he turns and we walk away, my hand on his shoulder.
In silence for about fifteen minutes, we mourn over Rin as we walk. I simply cannot embrace her death. All I can do is . . . just let is sink in. that's all. She isn't here. I think of things - would Rin like that? I'll go . . . But I can't ask, and I can't hear her sprightly little songs. I can't watch her dance, and I can't bring her cherries. I can't . . . remember. The only time I could remember my father was with her. She eased the pain of thinking of him, his laugh, his steady walk - his death . . .
I realize we've stopped. Sesshomaru is watching me with a closed expression. "What?"
He reached and catches a tear as it falls from my eye, then lifts it in front of me. "You're crying."
I put a hand to my cheek. Wet. Suddenly all of it falls onto my shoulders, and I crumple. He catches me; I'm sobbing, hard, and he has to sit to hold on to me. His legs crossed, he wraps his arms around me and we cry together. "Rin . . . Rin . . ."
It is night now, as I awaken. I lift my head, looking around hazily until I realize where I am. Sesshomaru is still holding me. We must have cried ourselves to sleep.
Wow. He . . . He looks so peaceful, so young, when he's like this. Asleep.
*yawwn* I'm so . . . tired . . .
"Hmmm?" Oh. Sesshomaru is waking up, shifting his arms. "You woke me up."
"I apologize." He looks at me, at my eyes, and I see the hurt resurface in his own. He looks down, closes his eyes.
"You loved her."
His head snaps up, his brows slam together, and those golden eyes stake me to the ground. I feel . . . alone when he does that. Like after Kohaku killed . . . and Naraku . . .
I bury my face in my hands. "Please don't do that to me." I know I sound forlorn, but that's how I feel.
His hands hold my shoulders, and he tries to meet my eyes, ducking his head. "Do what?" He sounds irritated. Irritated, of all the nerve!
Dropping my hands from my face, I glare at him. "Don't look at me as if I killed Rin." I push myself up, and stalk off into the woods. God. I just need to be alone.
These woods . . . They're so peaceful, so serene. The light's patchwork warming the plants, the skitter of underbrush life. I could walk through them forever, and never find disturbance. At least I haven't yet.
Miroku. Why did you kill Rin? What did you have against her? What did she do to you? I can't understand what could have turned you from lech to murderer. Why does my heart still contract at the thought of you? You are a murderous fiend. Either you hid it well or it only just came into being. But what could have caused it? What past transgressions could have made you slaughter an innocent? And why did it have to be Rin? Why couldn't you have just killed Jaken, or Naraku himself? He is the one to blame to all our troubles. Not Sesshomaru. Not Rin.
Not me. You knew about my friendship with Rin. You knew how it would affect me. And if you loved me, you wouldn't have done it. Despite past transgressions. Despite Sesshomaru being our enemy. But you killed her. You signed your death sentence in her blood. And you will have to pay. All deserve to be judged, yet none deserve to judge. And I will see you on Judgment Day. I will cinch the noose about your neck, and mark your throaty as a sword's mark, and bind your limbs, bare your back and prepare the salt. I will not personally judge you, but I will help.
And so will Sesshomaru. You weren't looking at him yesterday, you didn't see him cry. You tore a gash in his heart, too, when you killed Rin. He loved her, body and soul, and he will not easily give up his grudge. I won't do the judging; maybe he will. Maybe he will loose the trapdoor, or swing the scythe, or whip the gashes into which I will pour the salt. But I will fall dead at his feet if he says he has forgiven you.
*gasp* what about Kagome and InuYasha? What could you have told them to reconcile yourself in their eyes? Or have they not found you yet, without me? Have you hidden? InuYasha . . . do you miss her? I know that the few times you met Rin, you were fond of her, though you put on an act as if you found her annoying. But you honestly liked her. How will you be? Can you take this one more dagger stab? Miroku is - or was - your friend. How will that change? Will you hate him? Do you want to strangle him beyond all reason? I know. Me too.
And Kagome. Are you okay? Is InuYasha doing that withdrawal thing again? Is he giving you enough comfort? You cared for Rin too. Didn't she remind you of your brother, Sota? . . . D'you miss him? D'you miss her? *sigh* Me too.
*rustle* "So, you finally snap out of your reverie." Sesshomaru.
"Bastard." My voice is near silent, but the woods are too. He hears me.
"No. That would be InuYasha."
I leap to my feet, fists clenched. "Why, you-! How dare you?" I run at him, fists flying, my feet as if they had wings. By the time our five-minute battle is done, I am panting with rang and Sesshomaru is panting with pain and exhaustion. "If you ever insult my friends again, you'll get more than that!"
Something explodes in my stomach, and I taste the blood as it soars out of my mouth. I double, but again Sesshomaru catches me, wincing from a nearly broken ankle and several pulled muscles. He heaves me into his arms, and the last thing I can remember is bouncy, fray-edged vision.
My eyes won't open properly. I can only see slits of fuzzy trees-and-sky. I try to sit up, but when the figures swirl in their dance of insanity, I must close my eyes. Ooooh. My head . . . Pounding, throbbing, in a rhythmic pattern that makes my skull want to burst. I lurch, even sitting, to the side; which? I can't tell.
I know those arms. And those hands. And that . . . mouth?
Suddenly everything works perfectly, and Sesshomaru ends up sprawled on his back. "You lech! Trying to take advantage of me while I was half-unconscious, huh?"
He looks at me coldly as he rises and dusts himself off, but I see another face. Miroku-chan.
Oh God! My knees, waist, back, head, all bent, hands pressed to ears, as if I'm trying to resist gravity's song. But all I want is for him to stop appearing wherever I don't think!
Dammit, Sesshomaru is reaching for me again! And he treats it like a business deal, for gods' sake. I swat his hands away, hard, letting my nails gouge his fingers.
His hands whip out and crush my wrists, restraining my flailing arms. He pulls me close, gripping both my wrists in one hand and my chin in the other. "Do you honestly believe I would do that?" His voice, low and cold, chills me, and his gaze, so lofty and aloof, once again spears me to the earth. "Do you honestly believe I could forget her that fast?"
Since I am unable to look away, I suffice by closing my eyes. His grip loosens, and I feel a stabbing pain in my stomach.
Sesshomaru's face is emotionless. "You idiot." And he doesn't say it fondly, either.
"Jerk." My whisper. His face remains stoic.
He slings me into his arms, wrenching my stomach, walking a few steps, laying me down. Roughly. Damn . . . *glare*
Oof. And why is it always me, never him, who ends up unconscious? Blaah. But I feel better now.
Sitting up, I notice. Blanket. On me. Pillow. Behind me. Sesshomaru. Sleeping. Sitting against a tree. Hmmm.
Not watching me. *smile* I can leave.
I gather up my clothes and put them into a sack, then pick up my weapon. As steadily as I can, I limp out of the glad the demon found. Oof. I wonder what hit my stomach. Glancing around just at the edge, I spot a knife lying half-buried in bloody cloths. Going back, I pick it up, and, thinking I'd like to repay the owner of the knife, I put it in my sack.
Yeah. Now I can leave.
Back into the woods. These silent woods. The tall trees, the rustling shrubs. The mountain-scented wind, the frivolous birds. They all seem so happy. *sigh* I wish I were. I don't know how to live like this, in crisis. I guess . . . well, I can't be prepared. I'll just take it as it comes. I mean, how can I be prepared for something I don't know? These woods seem to bring out all of the questions I didn't know I had. They let me think, without interruption. But I still can't answer all the questions I've had recently. Heh. "Sesshomaru won't let me."
A chuckle. I spin, every nerve on alert. "No, I won't let you. Whatever it is." A flutter of wings and she - it? - lands gracefully in front of me. Toe, ball, heel, other foot, arms extended down and outward as if to steady herself, wings folding.
She lifts her head. Between her brows, a mark - perfectly identical to the one on the hilt of the knife!
"You." Still staring at her mark, I know she must have thrown the knife. Then I look at her eyes. A jolt goes through me; I feel my own eyes shock themselves open.
Suddenly I am locked inside my mind. I cannot move but for my eyes. The creature, I have no doubt she is a demon, circles me as though I were a horse to be bought, looking me up and down. "Yes, yes." She sounds as though she is comparing me to someone.
"You are the monk's woman."
I spin around and crack my hand across her face, which is perfectly, save for the browmark, cruel. Her head snaps to the side, blood singing from her mouth. She staggers, the catches herself. Her unclad foot scrapes against a rock leaving a dark path across the dirt. A hand to her bloody mouth, she looks at me confused. "How did you break the mindlock?" she sounds small, insecure. I suppose the grand entrance was just to help her insecurity complex. "It's supposed to be unbreakable." Now she sounds petulant. Then she straightens up, back to the imposing self.
A cold, ironic smile. "You are the woman of that monk - Miroku, I believe his name is?"
"His name is dirt bag, as far as I'm concerned, and how dare you ally me with that backstabbing bastard." I'm shaking with suppressed rage and abhorrence. "Why do you look like . . .?" Rin.
"Yes, Rin . . . She was my little sister."
"Oh! But-"
"And thanks," she continues, "to the carelessness of you humans, she is dead." Her eyes narrow. "Where is that demon you traveled with?"
"Here." Sesshomaru steps into sight.
Hmph. He was probably following me, and just pretended to be asleep.
"You." Uttered as if it were the worst insult ever to come into being. "You are mostly to blame. For Rin's death. You left her side for some frivolous reason, and you let her die. You could have protected her, but you didn't! You BASTARD!"
She flies at Sesshomaru like a harridan, screaming the battle cry of revenge - pain, hate, need. Need for blood. That's what she's after. Her foot snaps up, to be met with his forearm, and the selfsame hand grabs her ankle and swings. She uses her wings for balance, the dives, knife I hand. Another knife. But Sesshomaru is still wounded from our own battle yesterday, and so I take a running leap, not sure if I can make it before the knife connects with Sesshomaru's back.
"OWWW-WWW!" Five seconds later I hop around, holding my sore foot. "Dammit, that knife is sharp!" Finally I sit, still holding my foot, and look up. Sesshomaru is still crouched where he bent to relieve his nearly broken ankle. The demon is sitting, holding her wrist, into which my foot smashed. Both of them are staring at me.
"Sesshomaru, I just saved you life." *eyebrow twitches* Well, at least he has the decency to blush. I turn to the she-demon. "I just save you from temporary insanity." I point. "He's not the person you want to be killing." *sigh* God, my eyes are getting wet again. "Miroku is."
"I know that." As if I'm stupid? Grr. "But . . . I . . ." Damn. She's crying. Now I'm going to start crying, too. Yeah. But Sesshomaru's going to her. Good. I hate him. *sniff* I look down at my foot, pretending to massage it, when really I am hiding my tears.
You know what? I slam my fist into the ground. Standing abruptly, I see the other two, kneeling, staring at me. "I am tired of crying. I am going to kill Naraku." I'll find him. When I do, I'll kill him. I know it's suicidal; that's why I'm doing it.
I bend to pick up my weapon, and, sling it over my shoulder, I look at Sesshomaru. I know what my look says; it's telling him, I can't ask you to come with me, but still, be careful. He looks down, eyes hidden from my view. When I can see them again, he murmurs, "I want a piece of Naraku too."
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Blaaah. But I will update soon. If I get reviews.