Minhyuk took the note that Hoseok wrote telling him to meet at their rehearsal room, crumpled it up and threw it away. He had been waiting for the muscle-bound softie for the past fifteen minutes and the older man was nowhere to be seen. Minhyuk invested a lot of energy that morning, showering for the first time in two days and doing laundry to be able to wear his nice white dress shirt and black dress pants. He was hoping that today would mark a change in the direction of his life. He had counted on his favorite hyung Hoseok to be able to somehow help him through it. But not surprisingly Hoseok was too busy to meet with him. Minhyuk felt bad for trying to take up other people's time in the first place and decided to leave, feeling worthless. But right then he smelled food (ramen?) and heard footsteps running towards him.

"Minhyuk!" cried Hoseok, carrying two paper white bags in his arms. Hoseok looked very comfortable in a black T-shirt, black sweat pants and a black baseball cap. The singer must have felt it, because he was extremely cheerful. Minhyuk got annoyed at the wide smile and shining eyes on the pale man's face and hoped he would not snap at him when he needed to talk to someone the most. "I am so, so sorry I'm late. I got stuck in traffic. To make up for it, I got you food," he said when he finally got close enough. He handed Minhyuk one of the bags, which the younger man reluctantly accepted.

"I'm just kind of worried, hyung. I need a friend right now. I feel alone," the usually energetic singer said seriously.

Hoseok's eyes widened. "I didn't know it was so serious. Please tell me what's going on." Minhyuk opened the door for the two to talk quietly in their practice room. Hoseok quickly ran to the other side of the room and grabbed two mats for the two of them to sit on. He placed them in the middle of the room. Minhyuk sat without a word. The two opened their bags began eating. Hoseok got ramen, which he quickly began devouring. Minhyuk got fried noodles, which he gingerly poked at.

"I need to talk to you about something being wrong with me," said Minhyuk gently.

Hoseok slurped a big spoonful of noodles and then put down his bowl and spoon. "I'm listening. You have my full attention," Hoseok said.

Minhyuk looked down, unable to meet Hoseok's gaze. "I'm sick."

"Do you have a fever?" guessed Hoseok.

"No. I," Minhyuk took a deep breath. "I want to throw myself out of my room's window. I think everyone would be better off without me."

Hoseok got up and sat next to Minhyuk, wrapping the blonde in a big hug. "I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll support you as you get better! We can talk to Starship and they'll get you a psychologist and-"

"I don't want to talk to Starship. They'll just think I'm lazy and fire me," said Minhyuk.

Hoseok was taking aback by this, but refused to let his friend feel defeated. "You can't control having mental health problems. It's normal, Minhyuk. As our employers they owe us healthcare. It's what we deserve. And the fact you wanna die is serious! Please don't lose hope. I'll help you. I-"

Minhyuk packed up the bowl with the fried noodles and stood up, dragging his mat to where the mats were stored. "You know what? Don't worry about it, Hoseok. I'm sure I'll get over it soon. I shouldn't have bothered you like this. My mistake," he said.

Hoseok's heart began beating faster. He saw himself grow pale in the mirrors of the dance practice room before following Minhyuk back outside. He had friends who struggled with mental illness, and he had gone through some tough time himself that he felt would make him sympathetic to people who feel like they can't carry on with their life. He wasn't scared of mental illness itself, unlike his parents or too many people he knew. But he was scared of whether Minhyuk would accept getting help or not. He took a deep breathe and then jogged ahead to confront Minhyuk head on.

"I know from my friends that no one wants to talk about struggling with mental illness," said Hoseok. "But mental health is important just like physical health. I would be devastated if I lost a friend because they couldn't get help. I'll be there for you, Minhyuk," he said as his eyes slightly watered. He put his free hand on Minhyuk's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Please. You are totally doing the right thing by talking about it. I'll help you!" Minhyuk looked back at him with a dull look in his eyes. "Can you at least tell me how long this has been happening?"

Minhyuk looked down at the ground. "The last month or so. I think I remember just, not caring about work anymore and thinking, 'I don't deserve success, I don't deserve my members, I'm not good at what I do,'" recounted Minhyuk softly. "I thought I was so selfish having those feelings when we are taking off and many idol groups I know disband quickly. But I really am too much of a bother. I just think I shouldn't bother trying to live in this world," he said quietly.

Hoseok got scared hearing Minhyuk talk like that. He would have never guessed the ball of sunshine was struggling beneath the optimistic exterior. "I am so glad you're telling me. You don't even know, Minhyuk. I can't believe you were holding all of these feelings side," he said. He gave Minhyuk a hug, which was returned.

"I just, know this is messed up but there's nothing I can do about it. I think I deserve to die," said Minhyuk. He looked at Hoseok with a look of placidity that scared the black haired man even more.
"How do you feel right now? Do you, want to hurt yourself right now?" asked Hoseok, trying to remain calm as he made sure his friend was safe.

"I'm fine at the moment. It feels really good to talk about it, so thank you," said Minhyuk with a small smile. "But I don't even remember the choreography we're doing. I'm useless."

"You are not useless," said Hoseok firmly. "You're just going through a difficult time. Do you know why you got depressed?"

"No," said Minhyuk. "I read online that sometimes there's no reason to getting depressed."
"I heard that too." Hoseok paused for a moment, thinking hard about what to do next. He would definitely have to consult Shownu at some point about Minhyuk's condition since he was the leader and all. But for now, he wanted to be there for Minhyuk. "Um, I think we should get you set up with a psychologist immediately before things get worse."

"Ah, it's not even that bad though," contested Minhyuk. "I can handle going to dance practice and having fan signs with fans. I love making music and meeting with monbebes. It makes me feel better. They mean the world to me. If I couldn't do that, then-"

"If you don't want to live anymore then you are really struggling, Minhyuk," said Hoseok gently. "You are such a beautiful, and caring, and talented person. You don't deserve to be going through this. At all. Please tell me you'll try getting help. Please," begged Hoseok. "If you don't think it's a big deal then the psychologist can determine if it's a big deal or not. Then you can get help," he said.

Minhyuk looked down. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be truly happy again. But okay, I'll try to get help. I would definitely support another friend if they were going through a situation like this.

"Thank you, Minhyuk. You're so strong," said Hoseok, putting his hand on Minhyuk's shoulder again. "Let's try to talk to management about it right now."

Hoseok led the two down the empty hallway away from the dance practice room until they reached the elevators. Once inside, Hoseok pulled out his cell phone. "Can I please set up a meeting for you to talk to management, Minhyuk? I think you should really get help as soon as possible."

Minhyuk slowly nodded. "That would be good. Thank you, hyung."

Hoseok called their supervising manager on speed dial. "Yes, hello, this is Hoseok. Our member Minhyuk is going through a bad time and needs support. I want the company to meet with him."

"That is no problem. We can call him later today and meet with him in the morning. What is the nature of his issue?"

Hoseok took a deep breath. "Perhaps he can tell you the details later."
"I understand."

"Listen, I want to be very clear. If Minhyuk does not get the help he needs, or anyone in the company causes him any trouble, I will leave. This is a duty you owe us as company artists," said Hoseok seriously. He hoped he wouldn't stir trouble for making clear his high expectations for how Minhyuk would be treated.

"Listen, Mr. Lee, I understand that you are concerned. But please use more professional language in the future. We will attend to your concerns about Minhyuk. Have a good day," the manager said before hanging up.

"They're going to call you in a while and see you tomorrow," reported Hoseok with a small smile.

"Thank you, Hoseok," said Minhyuk returning the smile. "I really appreciate your help. I knew I could count on you."
"I am really touched you trust me like this. But why did you ask me? Have you told the other members?"

The elevator finally reached the ground floor and the doors opened to a lightly populated lobby. "No, you're the first person I told. It's just, seeing how you supported your ex-partner, I could tell you're the type of person who really wants to help others. I needed that."

Hoseok felt his heart pump a little harder., touched by how highly Minhyuk thought of him. He was convinced he wouldn't let his fellow member down. "Please, please, please come to me when you feel bad the next time, okay? I should be able to spend the night up with you if you need it. Please don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you, okay?"

"Thank you so much, hyung. You're the best. Thank you for being a good friend," he said as he scrunched his face, holding back a tear. He gave Hoseok one last hug.

"Any time. I love you. Please remember that."

"I love you too."
"You will get through this. All of Monsta X will be behind you, I know it."

"I know."