A/N: Yes, I am going to finish If You're My Girl, but I took a little detour along the way because this refused to leave me alone. This was inspired by a question JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls answered on tumblr, regarding fics that have Jane be the pregnant one. I decided I was up for the challenge of trying to create a believable scenario. I hope you enjoy :)
"Come on ya bastard…I know you can move faster than that!" Jane whined, squinting out the rain streaked windshield as the tow truck in front of her inched at an unbearably slow pace. If there was one benefit to leaving the station late, it was the avoidance of rush hour. It was a small perk that made the drive home feel tolerable after a grueling day, so Jane found herself particularly bitter as she continued to tail the truck.
Jane had been up to her ears in cases recently, and while three years ago she would have thrived on a grueling work day, often feeling antsy with almost any amount of down time, she now wished that her choice of career could be a bit less demanding. She used to roll her eyes when her mother would babble about her settling down, finally finding a man whom she loved more than her job. While Jane had not married the man her mother had always speculated she'd end up with, marrying Maura had provided Jane with every cliché hope and dream that Angela had always wished upon her daughter.
Married. She still liked to repeat the word to herself, a strangle smile always dancing on her lips. She was still growing accustomed to the title, though they had been legally wed for nearly two years now. Perhaps it was because it often felt so surreal, having found the love of her life in her best friend.
She let out a sigh of relief as the truck made a left turn, leaving Jane to accelerate much too quickly as she swerved to the right, nearly doubling her speed as she neared Beacon Hill. It hadn't been a conscious decision for the couple to adopt Maura's home as their own – Jane had moved in quite subtly and accidentally, before it had eventually dawned on her that Maura's large estate had effectively become her home.
The rain still continued to pour down in sheets as Jane pulled into the driveway, becoming drenched in the short distance as she sprinted to the front door. Jo, of course, was waiting to greet her enthusiastically, her little tail wagging with fervor.
"Yes, yes, Mommy's home," Jane laughed, scooping the small dog off the floor. Jo's tongue immediately attacked Jane's face, and Jane scrunched her nose, letting Jo have her fill. "Always nice to know someone missed me," she laughed, finally placing the dog on the floor.
The large house was silent, an indication that Angela had already retreated to the guesthouse for the night. She glanced at the microwave clock – nearly ten. It seemed as though Maura had retired as well.
Jo trailed her heels as Jane walked down the hall to her and Maura's room, kicking her shoes off before she reached the door. Slowly, she creaked the door open, expecting to find her wife slumbering peacefully, but their bed was quite empty. Jane frowned, wondering what Maura could possibly be up to this late on a Thursday night, when the faint hush of the running shower gave away her location.
Jane let out the breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding, at once striding toward the master bathroom. A heavy cloud of steam assaulted her, making it difficult for her to breathe for a moment. She was about to crack a joke, but the muffled sound of sobbing cut her short.
"Maur?" she spoke softly, worrying knitting her brow.
There was a slight clattering in the shower and a tiny gasp of surprise, following by a blubbery utterance of Jane's name. "I-I…I didn't realize you'd be home yet. I must have lost track of time," she further sniffed.
"Hey, hey, what wrong?" Jane spoke, balancing herself up against the vanity top as she reached for her socks, quickly shedding them, soon followed by the rest of her damp clothes. She pried back the shower curtain, joining Maura beneath the scalding stream of water. She winced as she noticed Maura's raw skin, turning the water dial down a few notches before fitting her arms snugly around Maura's waist. "Talk to me," she murmured against Maura's wet neck.
"I'm sorry," Maura spoke in return, her voice slightly congested. "I didn't want you to have to see me like this."
"Stop that." Jane brought her hand to Maura's tangled hair. "I don't want you to feel like you have to put on a strong face for me."
Maura nodded against her neck. "I know I said I was going to wait another day, but I caved tonight and took the test," Maura finally let the words tumble from her lips. Jane held her breath, though she already knew the answer. "It was negative, Jane." She choked out another sob.
"Shhh, shhh," Jane soothed. "It might not be definite…even though we waited longer this time, you could always wait a few days, take another test…"
"I'm not pregnant, Jane," Maura countered, Jane's optimism proving futile. "This is already the third time we've tried...there's no use building up hope only to be disappointed once again." Her body trembled against Jane's, and Jane automatically held her tighter.
"Maur, it's going to be okay." Jane swallowed the heaviness that had settled in her own throat.
"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong," Maura spoke quietly. "My diet and exercise habits are precisely on track – I've tried three different fertility drugs now, but the only effect they seem to be having is making me an emotional mess."
"Babe, no, don't you start blaming yourself – you know that's not true. Like you said, you're doing everything you can, and I know its frustrating, but its not your fault. I know you know that," she assured her fiercely.
Maura was silent for a moment, before she spoke in a small voice. "I just feel like a failure, and I'm not used to failing."
"You stop that, okay?" Jane pulled away so she could find Maura's eyes.
She nodded, sniffing again. Jane reached to turn off the water, guiding them both from the shower. She gave Maura's hand a gentle squeeze.
"We'll keep trying, okay?" Jane promised as she tugged a pair of boy shorts over her thighs.
Maura let out a heavy sigh. "This is the third time, Jane…I don't want to give up hope, but I'm just so tired," her throat swelled up again. "I'm so, so tired, and I don't know if I can keep doing this." She tugged one of Jane's oversized t-shirts over her head before crawling under the comforter.
Jane joined her, taking her position as the 'big spoon.' She rested her chin against Maura's shoulder, kissing the edge of her jaw lightly. She sighed heavily. "I love you. So, so much."
"I love you, too, Jane," Maura spoke, managing a small smile. She glided her hand into Jane's, leaving it there as she let her eyes flutter shut.
Even after Maura's breathing had become steady, Jane continued lay awake, her mind beginning to reel.
XXX
Running a little late. You want me to pick something up for dinner? Jane texted Maura as she left the station, running a hand through her hair as she let out a world-weary sigh. She turned the key in the ignition, driving further into the city rather than her typical route home. Her phone dinged, and she glanced over to the passenger seat, Maura's message flashing across the screen.
I've actually made dinner for us, so hurry home before it gets cold :)
Jane smiled, the domestic patterns they'd fallen into pleasing her more than she would have anticipated. She let out a tiny sigh, however, wondering how Maura was faring behind her seemingly content words. It'd taken her weeks to recover from her last failed pregnancy, and she knew the disappointment from this one was already worse.
She pulled up to the parking lot behind Frankie's apartment, taking the stairs up to the second floor. She rapped her fist lightly against the door, greeted a moment later by Frankie, who was wearing a Transformers t-shirt, his thick-rimmed glasses, and had his thumb marking his page in Atlas Shrugged.
"What's up, sis?" he greeted, stepping aside as she stepped over the threshold.
"I apologize for interrupting your thrilling Friday evening." She noticed a couple of empty Chinese takeout boxes littering the countertop. The one bedroom apartment was modestly adorned and pleasantly cluttered, reminding Jane of prior lifestyle.
"Shut up, Jane," Frankie shoved her arm playfully, tugging his glasses away from his face and placing them, along with his book, on the coffee table next to his collector's edition Star Wars DVD set.
"Damn, kid, you need a girlfriend," she shot him her infamous judgmental face, before moving a pile of bills from the armchair and plopping herself down comfortably there. "Or, you know, a boyfriend," Jane added, raising an eyebrow as Frankie took his place on the couch, a smile curving at her lips.
"Oh, no, I can assure I like girls as much as you do," Frankie retorted with a laugh, resting his feet up against the coffee table. "So what can I do you for? Not that I mind the unexpected visit, but I can tell when Jane Rizzoli is digging for something."
Jane sighed, wishing their light-hearted banter could continue, but she knew she needed to address the matter that had been eating away at her all day. "Well, um, you know how Maura's been trying to get pregnant, right?" With Angela always hovering, it was hard to keep much of anything a secret from Jane's family.
"You got good news for me then?" Frankie took the optimistic reply, though his eyes told Jane that he knew it was anything but.
"You really think I paid you a special visit just to tell you that?" Her sarcasm was heavy though, and neither of them could manage to laugh.
"I'm sorry, Jane," Frankie muttered, sitting up as he reached to touch her knee lightly, offering what sympathy he could. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well…I did come here to talk to you about something. It might be crazy, but I've been thinking…what if I was the one to have the baby?"
Frankie raised and eyebrow. "Have you run this by Maura yet?"
"No…not exactly. I mean, we did kind of have to discuss that back when we first talked about having a baby, but I was quick to reject the idea of being the pregnant one. She just seemed so much better suited for it – and her lifestyle habits have always been healthier than mine. I dunno...I don't wanna say we do that whole 'man' and 'woman' in the relationship thing, but you know, sometimes I guess it just kind of happens. I mean really, as much as I've always wanted kids, I think I'd just be the most awkward pregnant lady ever," she finished with a laugh.
"But, with the current circumstances, you'd be willing to consider it?" Frankie clarified.
"Well, yeah…" Jane responded. "I mean, it's kind of the logical next step, right?"
"I would say so," Frankie nodded in agreement. "I mean, if you're willing to do it, then I think it would be a really great thing for you to offer – I'd say you're good to run it by Maura."
"Actually, that's the real reason I'm here," Jane fidgeted slightly as she spoke the words. Frankie looked at her curiously. "I, uh, well…I wasn't so sure I should actually tell Maura…"
"What do you mean, 'not tell Maura?'" Frankie narrowed his gaze, his approval slowly fading.
"It's just….she took the test last night, Frankie, and when I got home, she was a mess. This whole process…it's killing her – the waiting, the uncertainty, the stress of the whole thing. It's just…what if could give her what she wants, but take away all anxiety?"
Frankie was silent for a minute. He licked his lips, letting out a breath. "So what you're saying is that you'd pick a donor and go through the artificial insemination process without saying anything to Maura?"
"Basically," Jane bit her lip, trying to rationalize her plan. "Look, I know it sounds kind of crazy, and I know going behind my wife's back is risky, but I can't take the chance of getting her hopes up just to have them crushed again. I mean, who knows if I'll even get pregnant? If Maura's having this much trouble, then I'm definitely no guarantee. If I'm gonna do this, it might just be better if Maura doesn't know until things are a little more definite."
"It's a big commitment, Jane. And you've got a lot to consider, especially if you're gonna go about it this way," Frankie warned.
"I know," Jane affirmed. "But it's gotta be worth trying – its not worth it to give up without considering all of our options, right?"
"Jane, this is completely up to you…but you've got my support," Frankie answered with a small smile. "But just so you know, if she flips her lid, I know nothing about this."
XXX
"Okay, I can't do this." Jane closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to calm her breathing. "This was a terrible idea. If Maura can't get pregnant, then why in the hell do I think I can?"
"Jane, breathe," Frankie reminded her, scooting his chair closer to Jane. "For one, you know that's a terrible argument. Your chances of conceiving are not related to Maura's. You know this is just the nerves talking." He patted her arm gently.
"Well, yeah, of course I'm nervous. I'm about to start growing a human inside of me. Remind me again why I thought this was a good idea?" Her breathing had grown shallow once again. Her head fell back against the examination chair, and she began to pick nervously at her medical bracelet.
"Okay, okay, picture this…a few weeks from now, you take your test, and it comes back positive. Now imagine telling Maura. I know you can picture that face, that big, teary smile she'll have...you've been waiting months for that moment," Frankie continued to rub circles on Jane's arm.
Jane noticeably relaxed, a smile dancing on her own lips. However, it was quickly replaced by a grimace. "Yeah, well, that's only if she decides she doesn't want to murder me for going through with all this."
"Remember, we decided that Maura's happiness outweighed her potential anger," Frankie continued to speak as the voice of reason.
"Right," Jane sighed. "Hopefully that wasn't severe misjudgment on my part."
"You need to relax," Frankie encouraged her.
"I'm sure as hell trying." She closed her eyes again. "I just can't believe this is actually happening…I think a part of me expected them to tell me I had a hostile uterus at my examination. And the donor…Frankie, what if I picked a bad donor?"
After much discussion, Maura and Jane had decided an anonymous donor would be the route to go. Having someone in their lives father the baby somehow made the baby feel like it would less theirs – if they wanted to have a baby, it only seemed reasonable that they would be the sole parents present in their child's life.
"I think we went over Maura's checklist about three billion times," Frankie assuaged her, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "You did what you could, Jane. The rest isn't up to you."
Jane sighed heavily. "You don't think I'm making a mistake here, do you?"
"Do you think I'd be here, continually talking you into this - despite all your excuses - if I did? Look at me, Jane," he paused, waiting for her eye contact. "Sure, I can't promise you any of this is going to go flawlessly, but you're doing this for the right reasons."
Jane sighed again, just as the doctor knocked gently on the door before entering.
"Are you ready?" she asked, smiling pleasantly at the pair.
Jane put on a brave face. "Let's make a baby."
XXX
"That's the third time you've thrown up this week," Frankie assaulted Jane as she stepped out of the bathroom. "Have something you want to tell me?"
"Jesus, Frankie," Jane gathered her bearings, before eyeing Frankie suspiciously. "You are an even bigger snoop than Ma is."
Frankie raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I can't help it you're a loud puker."
Jane rolled her eyes, shoving past Frankie as she headed for her desk. Of course, Frankie continued to follow her like an overly enthusiastic puppy. "Come on, Janie. You can tell me. I practically conceived this baby with you, so I deserve to know."
Jane quickly shushed him, glancing around to make sure no one had heard. "That sounded wrong on so many levels. And would you cut me a break? I don't know anything yet, so I don't have anything to hide from you."
"You mean to tell me you haven't taken a test yet?" He widened his eyes. "It's been almost three weeks! The doctor said you'd be good to try at two."
"Yeah, well…the longer you wait, the most accurate the results." Jane pulled out her case file, hoping Frankie would take a hint and leave.
"Yeah, but you've got to be dying to know by now. And with the way you've been upchucking, that's gotta be a good sign, right?" He continued with relentless persistence.
"I don't know, it could just be my nerves – god knows I've been a mess of them lately. I just don't wanna do this too prematurely, okay?" Jane attempted to defend herself.
"So Jane Rizzoli is scared to take a test, is that what I'm hearing?" Frankie used his old teasing tactic to get what he wanted out of her.
She shot him a look, ready to retaliate, but she let out a defeated sigh instead. "Yeah, I'm scared. Happy?"
Frankie's face softened. "Aw, Janie…"
"Oh, you stop. I've got a perfectly good reason to be scared – so much depends on what that little fucking test tells me, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to handle what it means if it comes back negative…" she trailed off, glancing around once again to make sure their conversation remained unnoticed.
"Frankie, we need you down in narcotics!" A voice called from across the room.
Frankie reluctantly dragged himself away from Jane's desk. "This isn't over yet."
XXX
"Hey, Jane, look what I picked up for you on my lunch break," Frankie whispered, pulling a plastic baggy out from behind his back. He pried the top open, revealing a home pregnancy test.
"Fuck, Frankie, what are you doing with that?" Jane quickly covered the test, shoving it back in Frankie's direction.
"Come on, Jane. It's time to face your fears."
"Not here. Not now. And what if Maura sees that? She's right downstairs, for crying out loud!" Jane hissed in protest.
"Which is why you're going to take it now, before she even comes up here," Frankie pushed it back toward. "And if you don't, I'm gonna go leave it on her desk."
"Fine, you win," Jane huffed, jerking the bag away from Frankie grasp as she stomped toward the bathroom, choosing to ignore his victorious fist pump.
XXX
"So?" Frankie assaulted her once again as she emerged from the bathroom.
"So, what?" Jane stood opposite of him, crossing her arms stubbornly across her chest. She raised an eyebrow. "I don't have to tell you anything." But even as she spoke the words, an undeniable smile crossed her face.
"Ah, see, you can't hide anything from me. I told you not to be scared. Congratulations, sis," he grinned at her.
Jane looked down at her feet, unable to wash the smile off her face. "Don't say that too soon. You never know, could be a false reading…"
Frankie waved her off, looking down at the stomach. "Hey little guy," he spoke, earning a massive eye roll from his sister. "It's your godfather." He grinned wryly.
"Oh, you're so full of yourself!" Jane shoved him away, retreating back to her desk.
"Well, who you gonna pick then? Tommy?" He barked out a laugh, following Jane once again. He sat on the edge of her desk, despite her annoyed glare.
"Oh, hell no. But you might have some competition with Frost," she addressed him with a smug grin.
XXX
"So, Maura, how have you been feeling?" Angela spoke in a not-so-offhand manner. She raised an eyebrow knowingly, stepping closer to her daughter-in-law as she continued to unpack the groceries.
Maura looked up in genuine confusion. "I've been feeling fine, thank you. Is there a reason I should not be?"
"Oh, I don't know…" Angela drew out the words. She reached for one of the large paper bags, taking out a bottle of vitamins, examining the labels carefully.
"Ma, what are you doing?" Jane asked in a panic, suddenly quite certain she knew what her mother was looking for. She abandoned her own bag, quickly crossing the kitchen as her mother continued to search for confirmation in the form of prenatal vitamins. Jane wracked her mind, attempting to think of when she had slipped up, revealing what she had been fighting so hard to keep a secret. Perhaps Frankie had said something. "Ma, really, Maura and I got this." Jane persisted, eyeing her mother significantly.
"Oh, you hush, and let an old mother lend a helping hand, or should I say gran—"
"Ma!" Jane interrupted so suddenly that Maura nearly dropped the spice bottles she held in her grasp. "I…uh…I just realized we left a few bags in the car. Would you mind coming out and helping me get them?" She nodded viciously toward the door.
Angela rolled her eyes, but she complied, letting the door click shut behind her as Jane cornered her on the porch. "Ma, what do you think you're doing?"
"Jane, we both know very well what I'm getting at, and I very wounded that I had to find out from…"
"Yeah, how did you find out?" Jane crossed her arms impatiently, raising an eyebrow. "You don't think you already do enough snooping in our lives?"
"For heavens sake, Jane, I hardly snoop – believe it or not, I do respect that you do need privacy. I gathered the trash around the house last night because you got home so late, and when I emptied that one in the far corner of your bedroom – you know, the one by your dresser, I happened to notice five positive pregnancy tests as I dumped out the trash."
Jane groaned loudly, knowing at once she should have been more careful about where she had disposed of them. Though she knew it was ridiculous (and becoming an unreasonable expense), she had bought enough pregnancy tests to get her through the week, worried that as soon as she self-confirmed her conception, it would merely turn out to be a false reading. The little pink plus sign she'd been seeking every morning merely gave her the reassurance she needed.
"I can hardly imagine why Maura would need to take so many tests, but if it's the confirmation she needs, then who I am to judge?" Angela continued, ignoring Jane's aggravated reaction. "I just want to congratulate her – well, the both of you – so I would appreciate your blessing because there's no use in trying to skirt around this now…"
"Ma…" Jane squeezed her eyes shut. These were certainly not the circumstances she had envisioned telling her mother she was carrying her future grandchild – and much less before Maura was even aware of the fact. "Maura's not pregnant."
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, I already said there's no use trying to lie t—" Angela interrupted.
"Ma, would you let me finish?" Jane cut her off in return. "Maura's not pregnant…I am."
Silence.
Jane ran a hand through her hair, her breath suddenly shallow as she waited.
"But I thought….when did you decide this?" Angela cocked her head, as if trying to imagine how this had managed to slide under her radar.
"Well, Maura was having so much trouble conceiving...I just…I figured trying was the least I could do. But, Ma, the reason I haven't told you…Maura doesn't even know yet, and –"
"Wait, Maura doesn't know yet?" Angela was incredulous. "Five tests later and you still don't feel confident enough to tell her?"
"Well…" Jane began. "It's actually a little more complicated than that. Maura might not even know that I, um…that I went through the artificial insemination process." She turned her gaze away from her mother, cursing herself for letting this conversation become so messy.
"You mean to tell me you've gone through all this without even confiding in your wife?" Angela's tone was dripping in disapproval.
"It's not like I just decided to go out and get pregnant without talking to her about it first!" Jane defended automatically. "Maura's been trying for months now – we made the decision a while ago that we wanted to be parents. If you just knew how much it was tearing her apart, to hear her crying because she couldn't carry our baby. Ma, this is all for her, but I want it to be perfect, because she needs that right now. There can't be any more what-ifs, because I think the disappointment just might kill her." Her bottom lip trembled as the words spilled out.
She should have expected it, but she still tensed up in surprise as Angela engulfed her in an embrace. "Ma?" her voice was muffled against Angela's neck.
"Yes, Janie?" Angela tugged her a little closer.
"Do you think I did the right thing?" she gulped, letting herself relax against her mother's touch.
Angela sighed, and Jane knew she still had an earful for her, but she continued to hold Jane, her voice coming out softly. "I think you did a wonderful thing."
XXX
"You know, Maura really should be here with you right now," Angela spoke, looking down at a parenting pamphlet as Jane once again sat in the examination chair. "You're almost six weeks now, and you've taken more pregnancy tests than any one person should take in their lifetime. If that's not enough confirmation, then I don't even know if a doctor can convince you."
"Ma, damn it, don't make me regret bringing you," Jane groaned, rubbing her temples in frustration. "I just want to make sure everything's okay, alright? When I tell Maura, I want to tell her it's a doctor confirmed pregnancy and that the baby is healthy. Those two things are very important right now."
"Whatever you say…just you wait til you see that little baby up there on the screen, though. You're gonna regret not having Maura here with you." Angela flipped the page, not bothering to look up.
Jane fought the urge to scream. Thankfully, the technician came in, engaging the two women in pleasant conversation as she prepped Jane.
"Alright, let's see if we can get a good look here," she spoke, inching the monitor over Jane's goopy stomach. Jane took in a halting breath, her heart pounding erratically as she glanced up at the fuzzy screen. "There we go," the technician smiled, pointing up to the screen, though Jane couldn't make anything out. "That's your baby."
Jane's throat swelled, and she could hardly protest as she felt Angela's hand slide into hers.
"And here, let me just turn this up a little," the technician reached for a dial, turning it slightly, and the room was filled with a very soft whooshing sound. "You hear that? That's the baby's heartbeat."
Jane felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away, instead closing her eyes as she listened to the faint little heartbeat continuously repeat.
XXX
"So can I get another one of these ultrasounds next week?" Jane asked up at the desk as she scheduled her next appointment.
The secretary behind the desk bit back a laugh. "You hardly need another again that soon, unless you were to experience some sort of complication. And your insurance only covers one more – which we typically do around eighteen weeks."
"But if I want you to, could you do one for me next week?" Jane persisted, leaning up against the ledge.
"Well, I suppose we could, but I don't see a reason to…and as I said, it would not be covered by your insurance."
"I'm fine with that," Jane waved her off. "It's just that my wife couldn't be here with me today, and I really want her to see what I just saw in there." Jane's face melted into a smile once again.
"I'll see what I have available," the secretary smiled at her in return.
XXX
Jane let her mother drive home, mainly because she could not tear her eyes away from the fuzzy little black and white picture they had printed for her. Though there wasn't much to look at, Jane still found herself in awe.
"You've gone soft, Jane," her mother chuckled, smiling over at her daughter as they pulled up to a stoplight.
"Oh, you hush," Jane swatted her hand in her mother's direction, though she kept her attention on the photo.
"So how are you going to tell Maura?" Angela asked.
Jane smiled, touching the tiny blob. "I think I have an idea."
XXX
"Hey, Maur, don't you think its about time you fed Bass?" Jane prompted, attempting to appear subtle, though her insides were squirming with anticipation.
Maura looked up from her laptop. Shoe shopping, Jane guessed, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. An entire wall of their closet was already filled with her footwear collection. It had been months now since Maura's failed pregnancy, and weeks since the pair had even brought up the topic of a baby. Maura was looking healthier now, reminding Jane that the stress she had relieved her from had all been well worth it.
"In a bit," Maura spoke, her eyes darting back to the screen. "I gave him strawberries a couple of hours ago, so he shouldn't be too hungry yet."
Jane made a face, biting in an impatient grunt as she leaned up against the countertop, eyeing the tortoise, who bobbed his head contently from the interior of his shell. She sighed loudly, though her dramatic hiss of breath did nothing to catch her wife's attention.
"You sure?" she blurted before she could help herself. "Because you usually feed him right about now."
Maura glanced up once again, her brow knitted with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. "I'm sure he can wait a bit, Jane – and why are you suddenly so concerned with my tortoise? You can feed him yourself if you'd like."
Jane didn't even last a full minute before she spoke again. "I don't know, Maura, I think you should. He looks like he might be a little sick, or something…" she trailed off, and sure enough, Maura's laptop snapped shut and her head jerked up.
"Sick? How so?" Her brow furrowed as she rose from the couch, stepping over to examine her ailing tortoise. She bent down, frowning as she noticed a string attached around his neck. "Bass, whatever did you manage to get tangled around yourself?" She reached for the string, tugging it gently. Bass shifted, followed by a slight crinkling noise. She pried the object out from beneath his neck – a small, rectangular piece of photo paper with a fuzzy black and white image printed across it.
Maura touched the picture lightly. "Jane…what is this?" she spoke, her voice light and breathless. She slowly rose to her feet, her lips parted slightly in surprise. She looked back down to the ultrasound before lifting her eyes to meet Jane's. "I don't understand."
Jane stepped toward Maura, her heart pounding erratically. She fell into place beside her, giving Maura another second to gaze at the image – and herself a moment to remind herself to breathe.
"That's our baby," she finally spoke, her voice coming out in hushed squeak. Gently, she took one of Maura's hands and placed it against her belly.
"You mean…?" Maura couldn't finish her sentence as she tore her eyes away from the picture, fixing them on Jane's stomach instead. "When? How long…?"
Jane wasn't sure she'd ever seen Maura at such a loss for words. She gulped nervously, suddenly not quite sure where to begin. "I, well…I'm about six weeks along. And don't worry, I went though that long-ass checklist you made for choosing a donor – I just went for someone who looked, well, a little less Italian," she laughed nervously. "Please, don't be mad, Maur. Every step of the way, I kept wishing you could be there, too, but I couldn't stand the thought of seeing your face if something went wrong again…I couldn't stand the thought of disappointing you."
Maura lifted her hand to her face, flicking away her sudden influx of tears. "I'm not upset with you," she promised, her voice wavering slightly. "How could I be upset with you – this is the most selfless act anyone has ever done for me." She choked a bit as the tears began to fall harder. Jane pressed herself up against Maura's side, snaking an arm securely around her waist.
The two gazed at the photo for a moment before Maura spoke again. "I am curious to know how you managed to hide this from me for so long though…"
"Oh, trust me, it wasn't easy," Jane let out a laugh. "I can't tell you have relieved I am right now." She continued to hold Maura, feeling significantly lighter. "Also, I hate to ruin this moment, but I'm pretty this kid is gonna have me vomiting any second now."
Maura pulled away, laughing through her watery eyes. "Oh, the joys of pregnancy..."
"Yeah, nothing glamourous about it," Jane chuckled in reply, her nausea already increasing a little.
"Certainly not. Just wait until begin gaining weight, your feet become swollen, you develop hemorrhoids - and that's not to mention childbirth, where you'll experience vaginal tear-"
"Ugh, stop!" Jane pulled her hand up to her ears. "Don't make me regret doing this, okay?"
Maura only smiled coyly, tugging Jane's hand into hers. "Let's get you to the bathroom. I'll hold your hair for you."
And, despite her increasing nausea, Jane couldn't remember ever feeling better.