I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with Cassandra. It's cliché I know, but I knew there was something special about her even when we were kittens. Back then we'd spend every waking hour together. Both she and I were orphans, our parentage known only to Jenny. She'd tell us about our respective parents if we asked, but for the most part, as far as we were concerned, she was our mother and Skimbleshanks was our father.
She was actually quite the tom-kit back then, not that you'd ever guess it now. Whatever the other toms and I, and usually Rumpelteazer, were getting up to, she'd be out there with us instead of playing and gossiping with Victoria, Bomba, and Demeter. More often than not she was the wildest of us all, the one who'd suggest we swipe Bustopher's spoon or climb to the top of the tallest junk pile. Of course, we toms would be the ones to get blamed when we got caught or someone got hurt, but for some reason we were happy to cover for her. She was just one of those queens that could get any tom to do just about anything for her, and she knew it. Thankfully, though, she never used her power over us for anything more than convincing us to help with a prank or that swiping fish from a market near the junkyard was a good idea.
She was always a stunning queen, but as she began to really grow into herself she began leaving those days behind. She didn't end up becoming a self-absorbed bitch like Bombalurina, she just started to fall more in line with what was expected of her. In private, when it was just us lying awake on the blankets in our little room in Jenny and Skimble's den, though, she could let that tom-kit side out again from time to time. Those occasions grew more and more infrequent as we grew older and began to… not quite drift apart, but become our own selves, if that makes any sense. We weren't joined at the hip anymore, didn't do everything together like we had growing up.
It was about that time that I began to have strange new feelings for her. Of course I know exactly what was going on now, but back then it was all so strange and confusing. I'd always thought of her as my sister, even though she really wasn't, but I was suddenly beginning to look at her the way Pouncival looked at Bombalurina or Bomba looked at Tugger or Tugger looked at everyone with a pulse. At first I just buried it, assuming that it'd simply fade like my kittenhood crush on Victoria had. But it didn't. By the time I'd finally come to terms with the fact my feelings for Cassandra weren't going away and accepted that what I was feeling wasn't wrong because we weren't biologically related, though, I was too late.
It feels like it was a lifetime ago, but I remember it as if it had only happened this very morning. I was just laying myself down onto the blankets we still shared, though at our age the days of us still living with Jenny and Skimble were growing to be numbered, when she came bursting in, full of energy.
"Lonz? Lonz!" Her usually smooth and sultry voice had been replaced with the bubbling excitement that Etcy had whenever she talked about whichever tom she was currently obsessing over. "Lonz you'll never guess what just happened!"
"Probably not, but I get the feeling you're about to tell me," I replied with a cheeky grin, sitting up to look at her.
"Tugger just asked me to go to the Ball with him!" she cried out giddily. "Me of all queens, for our first Ball! I still can't even believe he actually asked me! Isn't it great, Lonz?"
"Yeah, it's… it's great. I'm really happy for you Cass…" I replied after I hoped wasn't too long of a pause. I did my best to keep a straight face, but inside I was a mess of emotions. Yes, part of me was happy to see her happy, but there was a whole hell of a lot of jealousy, anger, regret, sadness, and pretty much everything else that goes with seeing someone you love happy with somebody else.
"Who are you taking?"
"Huh, what?" I felt like a moron, but I'd been too busy trying to process everything else to properly hear what she'd said to me.
"Who are you taking to the Ball, Lonz?" she asked as she sat down next to me. Normally I would've put my arm around her and she would have rested her head on my shoulder, but I couldn't today.
"Oh… I don't know. I might ask Teazer or Tanto." Of course my plan had been to ask Cassandra and tell her how I felt, but it was a bit too late for that now.
"Really?" Cassandra asked, giving me a slightly odd look before responding.
"I guess. I mean, I like them both well enough. What of it?"
"Nothing… I just… I wasn't really sure who you'd ask."
"What, did you expect me to ask Misto?" I joked, trying to inject a little humor into what I could feel was quickly becoming a bit of an uncomfortable conversation.
"Well he is gorgeous, and you are his type…" she said with feigned innocence. "Plus he's an amazing dancer."
"One small problem though Cass. I. Am. Not. Gay."
"Have you tried it Lonz? You might find you like it. Especially with such a gorgeous tom as Misto…"
"Yeah, right… Wait. You just want to see me kiss him don't you?"
"I admit nothing!" she laughed before cuddling up against me. In those moments I'd been able to forget what she'd told me and laugh and play with her like always, but it all came back when she curled up beside me. She was excited at the thought of Tugger taking her to the Ball. Him. Not me.
That was about two weeks before the Ball. I spent most of those weeks moping around, not bothering to ask anyone to the Ball and seriously considering not going. Cassandra and Tugger were everywhere now. All the toms were talking about Tugger's victory and the queens were jealous of Cassandra's catch. Of course there were a few of us who weren't thrilled. As much as he tried to hide it behind his snarky comments, everyone knew Mistoffelees was crazy about Tugger. Bombalurina was none too happy either. Everyone, including her, had expected Tugger to ask her, now it looked like she'd be slumming it with Pouncival.
The sight of the two of them together tore me apart. Tugger was surprisingly restrained with her in public, but there was no question that the two of them weren't exactly waiting for the mating dance to be their first time. The thought of Tugger's lips on hers instead of mine, his paws where mine should be, pierced my heart like a frozen dagger, chilling my blood as it wrenched my heart apart.
Eventually I couldn't stand it any longer. I saw the two of them walking together, laughing and enjoying the afternoon air, and I lost all control.
"Tugger!" I called out, stopping them in their tracks.
"Alonzo? What's up?" Tugger asked, turning to look at me with a confused look on his face. Cassandra's expression mirrored Tugger's, though hers was far more worried and concerned.
"Get away from her, Tug," I growled as I stepped closer and closer to them, fire burning in my eyes and fists clenched at my side.
"What? Why?" he asked, obviously startled at my rage.
"I said, get… away… from… her."
"Lonz? What's going on Lonz?" Cassandra asked, fear in her eyes.
"You're not going to the Ball with him Cass. You're going with me."
"What?" they asked in unison.
"You heard me. I love you Cass. Maybe I always have. I can't stand the thought of you with someone else. Especially someone like Tugger, who's only going to break your heart when he starts shacking up with Bomba or Demeter or Teazer again."
"But Lonz…"
"No Cassandra. I can't stand around and watch you get yourself hurt. Even if it means I have to force Tugger away." My paws unclenched and my claws came out as I spoke and I stepped even closer to Tugger.
"Alonzo, let's try to be reasonable about this," Tugger said backing away. "I promise you, I'm not going to hurt her…"
"That's a load of shit and you know it Tugger. Now get out of here or stand your ground like a grown tom."
"Alonzo, wait!" Cassandra cried, grabbing my shoulder as I again drew nearer to Tugger. "There's something you need to know…"
"Cass…" Tugger growled lowly.
"Tugger, it's either this or the two of you beat the hell out of each other! Look, Alonzo, I'm not going to the ball with Tugger."
"You're not…?"
"No, and I never was."
"But what about that night a couple weeks ago? When you were so excited he was going with you?"
"I was excited, but it wasn't about that. He's going to ask Misto!"
This time, it was my turn to be completely taken aback. "What?"
"Yes! He didn't want to tell Bomba, obviously, and he knew Teazer would blab to Jerrie, who can't keep his mouth shut, so he asked me to help."
"Why would that have you excited?"
"Can't you imagine the two of them together? They'd be the cutest couple ever!" By now Tugger was bright red and staring intently at his feet.
"So all this was just a set up to surprise Misto? Don't you think it's a little cliché, not to mention overly complicated?"
"That's what I said…" Tugger replied sheepishly, still studying his feet.
"But the look on Misto's face when Tugger tells him will be so adorable!"
"I guess… So who are you actually going to the Ball with, then?"
She stepped closer to me and put her arms around my neck. "Well I'm not sure… I'd need someone to ask me. Know anyone who might want to?"
"Cass, will you go to the Ball with me?"
"Yes."
Before I knew it our lips were together as we kissed passionately, paws roaming over each other's bodies, teasing through fur and brushing over curves and muscle, completely forgetting Tugger and the tribe and the entire Junkyard.
"I love you Cassandra."
"I love you too, Lonz."
"Oh Everlasting you two, get a den!" Tugger interjected, shattering the moment.
"Think we should take his advice, Cass?"
"Absolutely," she replied with a smirk and a twinkle in her eye.